Authors: Ellen Fitzpatrick
S
ome who received news of JFK’s assassination were old enough to remember the assassination of other Presidents. Three previous American Presidents had died in office from an assassin’s bullet—Abraham Lincoln (1865), James Garfield (1881), and William McKinley (1901)—tragedies that fell within the life experience of several elderly Americans in 1963. As one ninety-year-old Californian wrote to John F. Kennedy Jr., “I was born the first day of April 1873 and your father is the third president of the U.S.A. that has been killed in my time. I was around 6 years old when Garfield was killed and about 21 when McKinley was killed and I was 90 years and 8 months old when your father was torn from us.”
Kennedy’s death likewise evoked memories of the last President to die in office—Franklin Roosevelt. Letter writers recalled how shocked they were on April 12, 1945, when word came of FDR’s death. The most common point of historical reference in the condolence letters, however, was the assassination—or the “martyrdom,” as many put it—of Lincoln. No previous assassination of a President took place, however, in a period when mass communication permitted such rapid and wide access to news, images, and analysis of the event.
Many stressed that Kennedy’s youth and vitality, as well as the assassination’s ghastly circumstances, made his death especially harrowing. “I am old enough,” one retired navy captain wrote to Mrs Kennedy, “to have heard the moan of the nation upon the death of President McKinley and I remember well the angry, mournful growl which rose from its throat following disastrous Pearl Harbor, but never have I seen nor heard such overwhelming national grief, nor do I believe has anyone.” “We have just seen,” he observed, “the strongest nation on earth brought sobbing to its knees in abject grief for the first time in living man’s memory.”
CAMDEN, W. VA.
DEC. 1, 1963
Dear Mrs. Kennedy
I want to express my sympathy in your great loss, and in this trying hour of our Nation. It is with sorrow I have to say I have seen all four of
our Presidents assassinated, as I Celebrated my 99th birthday Nov. 22. It Certainly was a very sad evening for me, as well all West Virginians.
We had learnd to love the President, as he was so interested in our state. The Nation has lost a great leader.
May God bless you and the Children is my prayer.
Sincerely
Perry C. Gum
CLEVELAND HEIGHTS, OHIO
NOVEMBER 1963
Dear Mrs. Kennedy,
Your bitter experiences of the past few days should never have happened, but it did. It has happened to an infinite number of persons who have unexpectedly been made widows and fatherless. It has happened to very few families who had previously given their husbands and fathers to the lonely responsibility of the Presidency.
When I was a child my Grandfather told me of the dreadful loss of the man who was both his father and President of the United States. At the time of his father’s assassination in 1881 my Grandfather was fifteen years of age. Perhaps your children are blessed by not yet realizing their terrible double loss. Losing a parent so prematurely as many of us have is a great loss, but the loss of one who is loved and respected by so many for such remarkable capacities apart from the personal family relationships is perhaps even more acute. Your children will come to know him through you.
Only now have I come to have some realization of the great personal loss which Grandmother Garfield felt at the time of her husband’s death. No longer is it only an isolated fact in history. Assassination is merely a dry euphemism which applies to the outright murder of so prominent a person. The terminology does not lessen the pain of those who are involved at the time. This has been a personal loss to us all.
I write to extend our sincere wishes for your continued strength beyond
the immediate trial to which you have been subjected. The tragic happenings of the past few hours have made more obvious to each of us the supreme gift a man must make in his acceptance of such responsibilities. A consequence so violent and unnecessary seems impossible in our present day existence, but I fear we have made less progress than we believed. God willing, the price exacted from you and your family will in some way contribute to a greater maturity and selflessness in all of us and to the realization of the peace and understanding your husband sought for his country.
Your remarkable dignity and strength during this time have been a great lesson to us all. You have our deepest affection and greatest admiration.
Rudolph H. Garfield
MOORESTOWN, NEW JERSEY.
NOVEMBER 22, 1963
Dear Mrs. Kennedy:
Tonight, in the homes of the millions of average families who make up this nation, virtually every thought is of you, your children and your sorrow. Many of us wish we could find some words to console you and let you know that, to whatever extent it is possible, we share you grief. You lost your husband; we lost our president and our leader.
Perhaps, since your husband was a student of history, the phrases which come closest to saying what is on the heart of this family tonight were written by another president, also martyred, to another wife and mother: Abraham Lincoln in his letter to Mrs. Bixby. In it, he wrote in part:
“I feel how weak and fruitless must be any words of mine which should attempt to beguile you from the grief of a loss so overwhelming.….
“I pray that our Heavenly Father may assuage the anguish of your bereavement, and leave you only the cherished memory of the loved and lost, and the solemn pride
that must be yours to have laid so costly a sacrifice upon the altar of freedom.”
Our prayers, our thoughts and our wishes are with you and yours.
Sincerely,
Fred R. Zepp
NOVEMBER 23, 1963
DOVER, DELAWARE
Dear Mrs. Kennedy,
What can anyone say at a time like this, only that I’m sorry. I was ten years old when President McKinley was killed and I never thought I would live through a second Presidential Assassination, in this wonderful country of ours.
God Bless you and your family and take care of yourself.
Very truly yours,
Mrs. Regina Metzger
ILLINOIS
NOVEMBER 27, 1963
Dear Mrs. Kennedy and family,
Finding the right words of comfort at a time like this is always difficult because all the words in the world won’t bring a loved one back. His laugh will never again be heard, his smile, seen or his hand, felt. In another way, however, he will never die. In our religion we say that as long as a person is remembered, he is still living; therefore, John F. Kennedy will never die. He will live on in the thoughts of those who knew and loved him. He will live on in history, never to be forgotten.
No one will forget what he was doing on Friday, November 22, 1963,
when he heard the news that John F. Kenned had been shot. No one will forget what seemed like the hours we waited until we heard the final, awful news that he was dead. While watching the television show “As the World Turns” the news announcement came. While waiting for the announcer to say what the news was, I thought to myself, “What election results in some outlying location is he going to tell us this time.” When he finally said that the President had been shot I stared in disbelief at the set. There must be some mistake. This doesn’t happen in the United States. It doesn’t happen now. This happens only in history books.
My thoughts immediately went back to another day in 1945, when I was nine years old, and listening to “Terry and the Pirates” and the announcer broke in to say that Franklin Roosevelt had died. I remember going down to tell Mother, who was in the kitchen making dinner. She told me that it must have been part of the story. Finally I convinced her to turn on the radio and she heard the news for herself and began to cry. At the time I wondered why. Now I know. For I cried Friday.
With the advent of television the average person is even better acquainted with the President than he was in 1945. The President is seen regularly and one can’t help but feel that he is a member of one’s own family or that of a next door neighbor. John F. Kennedy was more than a politician giving speeches. He was a human being with a wife and family. The people knew him as a wonderful father, husband, brother, and son. After the initial news that the President had been shot, I was glued to the television set until the phone rang. While talking I happened to look out and noticed that the flag at the school, which can be seen from the kitchen window, had been lowered. At the same time it was announced on television that John F. Kennedy was dead. My heart sunk.
The rest of the afternoon I, like many others, was in a daze. The baby had to be dressed to go to visit her grandmother and I, too, had to dress. I really didn’t feel like going, but there was no way out of it. It was raining outside and the traffic was heavy. However, even though it was the rush hour, no one seemed to be rushing. There wasn’t the usual screeching of brakes and honking of horns. Everyone was listening to the radio and in a state of shock. The
drive took twice as long as it usually does, but no one seemed to be conscious of it. Dinner was eaten and my husband, the baby and I went home. The radio was on during the whole ride. Usually it is not. But the day hadn’t been a normal one. John F. Kennedy had been killed. When we got home, the television was turned on; and we watched transfixed before it. It remained on most of our waking hours until late Monday night….
Each person wished that there was something that he or she could do for the grieving family. Why worry about the nation? Luckily we live in America where when one person dies our whole political system is not thrown up for grabs. There are no new forces to take over the government. It will go on pretty much as it has always gone on. But the family of John F. Kennedy will never be the same. You’ve lost a husband, a father, a brother, a son, a cousin, or a very close relative. And we, the people, have lost a friend. Our sadness lies not in the fact that we have lost a friend, but, because we feel that, in a way, we are all responsible for your loss; and there is nothing we can do about it. There is nothing we can say. But we must do something. So we enclose this money to be used for the benefit of retarded children or in any other way that you think best. It is the least that we can do.
Our hearts cry for you and for your family. You have shown us and the world the dignity and the strength you have. We hope you know our thoughts are with you. You are not alone in your grief. If when we turn on the radio and we are offended by the noise and the uselessness of the regular programs, commercials, and music; we can imagine how you must feel. We can’t seem to concentrate on anything, it all seems too trivial. But we must continue because life must go on for the living. That is what John F. Kennedy would have wanted. He wouldn’t want us all to collapse because of his death. As a tribute to him we must try to make the world a better place to live so that this type of thing will never have to happen again. We hope that in some way this letter shows you how so many of us feel and will, in some small way, help you in picking up the threads of your lives and weaving them back together.
Sincerely,
The Howard A. Jacobs family
M
any Americans who were overseas felt an acute sense of dislocation when they learned of President Kennedy’s assassination. Those who wrote to loved ones in the United States described not only the specific circumstances in which they heard the news but also the reaction in the far-flung places where they found themselves on November 22 and in the immediate days following. The raw emotion and painstaking detail in these letters deeply impressed their families, many of whom enclosed these messages in their own condolence notes to Jacqueline Kennedy.
JAN. 25, 1964
Dear Mrs. Kennedy,
My husband sent me this letter when he was in Trondheim Norway, on Nov. 22nd when he was on tour with the Los Angeles Chamber Orchestra.
He expressed in words what I felt in my heart & I feel I would like to share this with you.
With most heartfelt wishes for you & your family,
Respectfully,
Katherine Stamos
Torrance, California
Trondheim, Den Nov. 22 1963
Time 10:30 P.M.
My dearest wife—
This is one of the darkest moments of my life—tonight as we were awaiting Henry to come on-stage between the pieces during a concert—there was a great delay—then finally he and Jackie came on and started an aria—we played about 1 minute then he stopped and said “I can’t go on any more—President Kennedy has been assassinated.”—then next thing I knew I was crying, as if I lost my own brother or father—but
more than our own personal lost—we have lost our leader, our hope for a better world within our own lifetime. They did the same thing to Christ, to Lincoln—and now Kennedy—may God help us in this hour of great darkness—our faith must be strong as Kennedy’s was—he took the chance—to try and reform the hidden ignorance, the bigotry of the past and now he has become a martyr. He has touched our own personal lives.
I would not be here if it weren’t for Kennedy
, trying to show the world that we are a cultured people. But some of us aren’t—as long as we have fanatacism to have produced such a dastardly deed.
You remember when we first came to Dallas, the day after he was elected—the place was in mourning—I always sensed that ignorance was somewhere nearby—it is quite ironic that this should be scene—the modern day “Calvary”—at least he died near his wife—and as Senator Mansfield said “He has gone to his reward”—may his example serve as an inspiration to each and every one of us—may we never forget what he fought for—equal-rights for all men, peaceful co-existence and like Roosevelt’s dream of a one world nation
I feel that these things must be said, and only to you my dearest wife because it is in moments such as these that only you understand—I never felt so lonely, so much in need of you, to have you nearby—than now—we are all stricken—we all wished we were home—the news as it comes over the radio has to be translated to us.
I pray, and we must all pray, that his nation shall triumph no matter how many crosses we have to bear—and this is truly a heavy-one indeed—because without faith we are lost—this country was founded on faith. And we must each try and carry on these ideals in our own lives—that’s the way men like Jack Kennedy hoped for the people of his country.
Pardon this letter of thinking out loud—I know how you must feel—keep up your spirit—I’ll be home soon—God bless you and everyone there
Your husband. Spiro