Lessons From Ducks (11 page)

“You know what I meant.”

“Yes but it’s more fun to imagine it my way.”

Anna made a humming noise and locked the back door, conscious of Matt’s eyes on the back of her neck.

“This way,” she said, leading them towards a gate nestled in amongst the giant back hedge. It was a rickety old thing that gave the appearance of having been bunged together from driftwood and bits of old wire. It also looked like it might fall apart if you were to apply too much pressure to it. Anna opened it confidently and left it ajar for Matt and Oscar to follow her through.

“I didn’t realise there were empty fields behind you,” Matt said. “No neighbours throwing noisy parties until all hours, or using the pathetic square patch of grass you call a front lawn as their dog’s personal toilet.”

“I have neighbours.”

“Yes, but you’re not surrounded on all sides though. You have what, eight? Nine? Other houses down a little cul de sac? But nothing behind you. Just look at this,” he spread his arms wide, “It must be so peaceful.”

After the divorce he had moved ‘temporarily’ into a one bedroom flat in town. It was conjoined to four other flats at ground level, with another five on top. The inner walls were cold white brick that were about as useful at keeping warmth in as they were at keeping noise out. He kept meaning to find somewhere a bit more suitable to have Oscar stay – he was fairly sure the guy in number eight was dealing drugs and the woman in number four entertained too many men to just be considered, ‘popular’ – and had even visited a few open homes, but nothing had grabbed his attention yet. Now, seeing where Anna lived, he realised why he’d been holding back. He didn’t want to find just any old place, he wanted somewhere like this. His own piece of paradise.

They traipsed through the long grass in the field, knee high and crackly from the sun, along a narrow path that was slightly overgrown, as if no feet had travelled this way recently. Although they barely walked a few hundred metres it may as well have been a mile for the difference it made. The sound of a working town completely dropped away. Even though Anna lived on its outskirts there was still a distant hum in the air, of traffic, sirens and people going about their day to day lives. Like a hive of bees, there was a low cloud of noise that hung over any populated area, a sign of life happening.

Now though, all Matt could hear was his own footfall, and that of his son behind him and Anna ahead. He could hear the rustle as she pushed through the dry grass, and the sweet sound of birdsong, unseen in distant trees. He let the peace soak into him, felt his body relax with every step. As they walked he became aware of something else, the gentle babbling noise water makes as it travels over stones and along river beds. He tried to orientate his mind on a virtual map. Let’s see, Anna’s house was here, his mind pointed, so we must be heading towards – yes, he could see it now, the blue line running alongside the town, overlapping at one point as it made its way under a bridge on main street to travel past the cemetery, then bend in a semi circle and travel back out via a bridge on Old Mill Road by the school.

“We’re heading to the river?” he asked.

“No,” Anna stopped short in front of him, “we’re already here.”

He came up beside her and took a moment to absorb his surroundings. The river was around fifteen metres across, and although Matt could see the sandy bottom for a few metres out from the bank, after that it darkened into a dark green then almost black colour, indicating it dipped quite deeply in the middle. Bushy trees lined the far bank. Upstream the river stretched away off into the distance and about a hundred metres downstream the river turned a corner to the left and disappeared.

“This place is amazing,” he said, dropping the towel he’d been holding into the long grass and stretching his arms above his head. “I bet you come here every day in summer.”

Anna turned away from him so he couldn’t see her face, kicking off her sandals and lining them up neatly on an old log. “Once upon a time I did,” she replied in a flat tone, “but I haven’t been in awhile.” She pulled the elastic from her hair and put it on her left sandal, and placed her folded towel beside them.

He shook his head. “What a waste. If I lived here I would swim every day.”

“The novelty wears off eventually.”

“I doubt it.” He looked around. “Where am I supposed to change into these?” He held up Tim’s shorts and grinned at her wickedly. “Or shall I just change right here?”

Anna knew he was trying to get a reaction so she shrugged casually and said “wherever you like, it doesn’t bother me.” She didn’t expect him to call her bluff and drop his shorts right in front of her and she thanked heaven for small mercies in that he was wearing underwear, even though they were a pale blue colour and snug, leaving little to the imagination.

“Oh!” she dropped her face into her hands. “What are you doing?”

“What does it look like? I’m changing. You said it didn’t bother you if I did it right here so I am.”

“I didn’t mean it though.”

“Then you shouldn’t have said it. You can look now, I’m decent again.”

Anna waited another minute to be sure, before risking a peek between her fingers. He was standing there in Tim’s shorts, laughing at her.

She dropped her hands and scowled at him. “You’re a scoundrel.”

“It’s not my fault you react the way you do.”

“Dad?” Oscar had trailed behind them slightly on the walk, stopping to pick up sticks and whack the tops of grassy stalks off with them, typical boy behaviour. But now he had caught up and was standing at his father’s elbow with a nervous expression on his face.

“What’s up?” Matt asked him, still chuckling to himself as he recalled the horrified look that Anna wore when he’d dropped his shorts in front of her.

“I think I forgot to close the gate behind me.”

“That’s ok, we’ll get it on the way back.” Matt’s attention was on Anna as she lifted her t-shirt over her head, folding it and placing it on her towel. She then lingered a moment, dipping her toes gently into the water, before quickly unzipping her shorts and wiggling them down over her hips. With a flourish she kicked them off and, unlike with her previous belongings, dumped them unceremoniously on the log before making her way down the bank. With a splash she dove in headfirst, causing ripples to fan out in large circles. He waited with bated breath for her to pop her head up again, a good four or five metres from the bank.

“Don’t you know you’re supposed to test the depth before you dive?” he growled at her. “You could have hurt yourself.”

She shook the water from her face and hair and started making long languid strokes in front of her, enjoying the shock of the water against her heated skin and the embrace of the current. “Not likely,” she answered him, “I’ve swum here a hundred times remember. I know exactly how deep the water is.”

He knew he was overreacting but he couldn’t help himself, he’d felt real fear when she’d disappeared beneath the surface. “Maybe, but as you said yourself you haven’t been here in some time, it could have changed. That’s the nature of rivers.”

“Well I’m fine, so you can stop with the lecture.” She flipped over onto her back and drifted further out into the water.

“Dad?”

“What?”

“I’m worried.”

Oscars tone finally broke through Matt’s distraction and he dropped to a crouch in front of his son. “What is it? What’s wrong?” He could see Oscar’s bottom lip starting to wobble, a sure sign tears weren’t far away.

“I didn’t mean to leave it open,” he said, “but I did and now Anna will never let us come back again.” The last word was high pitched and as he flung himself into his father’s arms with a sob.

“Hey now, it’s ok,” Matt soothed him, stroking the back of his head. “It’s just a gate, there’s no need to get upset. Anna won’t be mad at you.”

Oscar drew back and wiped his nose noisily on his sleeve. “But look.”

Matt followed the direction of his wobbling finger. “Ah,” he said. “I see. Anna?”

“Yes?”

“We may have a situation.”

“What sort of situation? Are you two going to get in or not? This water feels amazing.”

“Yes, we will. But first I think we need to tell you something.”

“That sounds rather ominous.”

‘QUACK QUACK QUACK QUACK’

Waddling furiously as if their lives depended on it the ducks bustled past Matt and Oscar and made a beeline for the water’s edge, jumping fearlessly and landing almost on top of each other with splashes.

“Oh!” Anna spluttered as they splashed her while joining her in the water. “Where did you lot come from?”

“I’m really sorry Anna, I forgot to close the gate,” Oscar kept his eyes on the ground. “They must have followed us.”

Hearing his voice and realising how upset he was, Anna waded through the water to the bank. “Oscar it’s ok, don’t worry about it. This isn’t the first time they’ve followed me here.”

“It’s not?”

“No,” she said. “It’s not. The first time they did it I got such a fright, like you just did. But they were fine. They swim and then they go home when they’re ready.”

“You’re not angry?”

“Do I look angry?”

He studied her face. She looked the opposite of angry.

“Now get in here and have a swim, before it gets too dark,” she told him, splashing water up the bank to wet both his and his father’s feet.

“Last one in does dishes for a week!” Matt hollered, dive bombing off the bank despite his earlier misgivings. When he surfaced, laughing and shaking off water like a long haired dog, Anna gave him a pointed look.

“What?” he said innocently, “I jumped in the same place you did.”

“Hypocrite.”

The three of them enjoyed a leisurely swim, forgetting all sense of real time. Anna floated on her back and enjoyed the weightless sensation of the water. She knew why she had stopped coming here, of course. The memories had been too painful. It was a shame because it was a pleasure she had once thoroughly enjoyed, but there had been days it was all she could do just to get out of her bed in the morning, and some days she’d failed even at that. There had been no time, nor energy, for pleasurable pursuits. She’d neither wanted nor expected to feel pleasure ever again.

Life marches unwaveringly on though, and when she didn’t kill herself in the first year afterwards, her family and friends gave a sigh of relief and held a dinner party, of all things, where they silently congratulated themselves on ‘seeing her through the darkest patch.’ Unaware that the whole time Anna sat on the couch, numb, nursing a drink that she feared drinking lest she be unable to stop herself from drinking the whole bottle, cursing her cowardice and her inability to do what needed to be done to end the pain.

She was not over it now and she knew she never would be, but she was through it enough to be grateful that she hadn’t given in to those early desperate thoughts. She wondered what other simple pleasures she had denied herself, but that hurt to think about so she decided to just enjoy the wonder of the moment instead.

Matt also floated on his back and enjoyed the tranquillity, but it wasn’t long before he became bored with that and started to investigate his surroundings. He poked with sticks in the bushes to see if he could rustle up some eels, much to Anna’s dismay. To his disgust - and her relief - there were none to be found. Then he and Oscar started collecting large stones the size of two fists from the riverbed and built a small dam on a part of the river where the water was only ankle deep. When they’d finished, only succeeding in rerouting the water thirty centimetres from its previous path, they pumped hands in congratulations of a job well done and patted each other on the back, as proud of their efforts as if they’d just built the Panama canal.

The ducks swam around them in lazy circles, protesting if Anna or Matt got too close, but perfectly content to let Oscar swim in their midst.

They stayed in the water until the sky was smudged yellow and gold, the horizon a blur of orange as the last of the sun’s rays relinquished their hold on the sky above.

“Time to get out I think,” Anna finally said reluctantly, holding up a hand and studying the wrinkled effect the water had wrought on her fingertips.

“Do we have to?” Oscar protested.

“I guess so,” Matt sighed, not ready to leave, but knowing that as the parent it was up to him to lead by example.

“But it’s not even dark yet.”

Matt pulled himself up the bank and picked up his towel, dabbing at his face and chest. “It will be in about twenty minutes though. And unless you feel like finding your way back by yourself in the dark, I suggest you do as you’re told.”

He was joking but it worked, and Oscar reluctantly got out of the water. “Can we come back next weekend?” he begged his father.

Matt glanced over at Anna, who was also out of the water and towelling herself down, her earlier body inhibitions washed away by the water. She was half turned away from him, silhouetted against the sun. He already knew she had a lithe figure, but now he could see that she bordered on almost too slim, her ribs pushing against her swimsuit as she reached up to rub the towel over her hair. When she lifted her arms her breasts rose up too, their perky tips standing to attention against the coolness of the breeze against her wet swimsuit, and he found he couldn’t take his eyes off them.