Lasting Lyric (11 page)

After a few more miles, we finally make it to my house. Lyric parks in the driveway, unsure if she should shut off her car or not. I can feel the hesitance. I know her too well. “Thanks for coming with me,” she says, with a gorgeous half smile.
Damn, she’s so pretty.

“No prob,” I shrug. “I’ll see ya.”

I begin to open my door when Lyric stalls me, “Slim…uh…what about tonight?”

I have one leg out, one leg inside the car, ready to bolt. “What about it?” I ask, bitterly, which is so unlike me, I think I hate myself right now.

She blinks and suddenly forms a frown. The twinkle in her eyes is replaced with a dead glare. “Nothing, I just thought -”

“Lyric,” I swipe a hand through my hair, and try to say this as nice as possible, so I won’t hurt her, “I need a night to myself and so do you. Call me if you can’t sleep and we’ll talk.” However, I believe my words came out all wrong. I need a good kick in the ass. Hopping out of the car, I know I leave her confused and hurt. I don’t look back as I stroll down the walkway. The second I enter my home, I regret leaving her dumbfounded. I want her here, in my arms, in my bed, on my cock until I can no longer think. I want to drown inside her and never come back to reality.

To pass the time, I make myself some lunch and watch a little TV. After that, I head into the music room and play a few tunes to get me back in a good mood. Doesn’t really help all that much, but I’ve been missing music so much it feels awesome to have that guitar back in my grip; I’ve been distracted by Lyric lately, I feel I’ve lost my way this week. I play for almost an hour, and am just getting my groove back when Lucky phones me.

I place my guitar back up against the wall and pull out my phone. “Hey Luck.”

“Bro, what’s going on?”

“Not much. Just got home from being in LA and playing my guitar.” I lean back in my chair and kick my feet up on a footstool.

“Yeah, heard about you being in LA. That’s cool.”

“Go ahead and ask,” thinking he’s going to give me an earful about that damn picture.

“Ask what?”

“‘Bout me and Lyric.”

“Not my business, bro. I was just checkin’ in to see if you and the others would like to hang at Whiskey Flats. Been awhile since we’ve done anything normal.”

Shit.
I’m an ass. Lucky is one of the coolest guys I know. I shouldn’t have jumped to conclusions. “Sorry…uh, yeah, sure, that would be cool, but what about the crowd?”

“Don’t worry, I got it taken care of. I’m renting out the place for a few hours.”

“Damn, that’s awesome,” I chuckle.

“I’ll see you around nine?”

“I’m there.”

“Right on. Later.”

We end our call and I continue playing my guitar. I wish I had it in me to write a song. I have all kinds of ideas in my head, but the words never sound good on paper. I actually love to sing, so singing the lead parts to our songs feels really good. Blasting out my voice to the lyrics of
Forbidden Faith
brings some energy back I’ve been missing all week. It’s an exercise I’ve been needing. Once I am done playing, I put on my running gear and go for a run on the beach. The weather is too beautiful to stay inside. Feeling the breeze and sun on my skin makes my run even better. It’s another good way to clear my head.

Not too many people were on the beach, but I had a weird feeling I was being watched from afar. I couldn’t place my finger on it, but I knew I had to hurry up and get home before I got bombarded by paparazzi.

The first time not being hounded by the paps and screaming girls was way cool walking into Whiskey Flats. There’s country music playing in the overhead speakers when I travel toward the back of the bar. Danny, Jason and Lucky are to the right of the place, playing darts. I fist bump each of them, then grab a beer from the bar. Once I get my brew, I head back to watch the guys play. Lucky just finished his turn and stands next to me against the wall. He takes a guzzle of his beer.

“Too bad Wayne isn’t here, he’d flip to know we rented this place out,” I mention, taking a sip of beer.

“I can make it happen again when he gets back. No worries,” he shrugs. My bro is laid back and goes with the flow of things. It’s one of the things I like most about him. He doesn’t let too much get to him.

“This rocks, man, thanks. Needed a night out with you guys.” I tip my beer bottle to the side, clinking bottles with Luck.

“You wanna talk?” He always seems to know when someone needs to let it all out. He’s a really good listener.

I nod my head. “Yeah, over here.” We travel away from the others and grab a seat on the other side of the room, next to the pool table. “So it’s pretty obvious, you know Lyric is back.”

“Yeah, glad she’s back. Can’t have a band without her.” I couldn’t agree more.

“So, the thing is, dude…we’ve been hanging out together ever since she came back a few days ago.” My fingers are fidgeting with my beer. I tip my head back and take a long guzzle. Expressing my feelings about her for the first time gets me all kinds nervous shit in my gut. “My feelings for her have changed, drastically since the accident.”

“I’ve noticed.”

I pop my head up, obviously surprised. “You have?”

“Yeah,” he chuckles.

Damn. I guess I haven’t been very good about hiding my feelings for her. I stumble upon my words, “Okay, well…I..I…shit. Sorry, man, this is the first time I’ve talked about this.”

“It’s okay. I’m here to listen, bro.”

“Thanks,” I mumble out, then proceed to get this off my chest. “I feel I’m losing perspective of things, Luck. Like, falling for someone who means everything to this band and our career. I don’t want to jeopardize our future.”

“Why do you think it’s going to affect the band?”

My left leg bounces underneath the table. “What if…what if things don’t work out between us, huh? It’s not going to be good for the band, you know that.”

“No, I don’t know that,” Lucky disagrees. “Look, what would you say to one of us, if we were going through this? You’re good at speaking your mind, Slim, so what would you say?”

What would I say
? Fuck, he got me there. I’m usually good with this shit. The tables have definitely turned, and I have to think about it for a minute. “I’d say…don’t miss out on what could be your everything, and the best Goddamn choice you’ve ever taken. Take the fucking leap.”

“Think you figured it out.”

My leg continues to bounce. “Maybe,” I mumble, again, guzzling down more beer.

Lucky gives it to me straight. “I’ve taken that leap, so has Danny and Wayne. Best thing that’s ever happened to us.”

I couldn’t agree more, but I am still having doubts. “But this is Lyric we’re talking about,” I continue to argue, and find an excuse not to be with her. “She’s our manager. I’m losing control when it comes to her,” I say, frustrated.

“Our manager or not, she’s the one you care about,” he points out. “You’ll figure it out.” Lucky pauses, takes a drink, then extends his advice, “Plus…losing control is not always a bad thing. Take the fucking leap.”

Shit. When Luck says it, it sounds like the best Goddamn decision ever. “Take the fucking leap,” I repeat, under my breath. “Thanks, Luck.”

“Always here, man,” he smiles. He slaps a hand on my shoulder. “You ready to shoot some pool?”

I nod my head and take another drink. “Yeah. Ready to kick some serious ass.”

WHAT THE HECK DID I
do?
What the heck did I DO
?! Slim basically shoved me away like last night’s dinner and wanted nothing more to do with me. He hightailed out of my car leaving me to feel like I got punched in the gut. Seriously, I have no idea what is going on with him - with us. I swear we almost kissed last night. I swear he said he’s lost all control. So what the heck did I do? I hate him. Okay, no I don’t, but I do. It’s a love hate sort of thing. I want to hate him, yet I love him.
What did I just say
? Apparently my mind is acting out. No way do I love Slim. I mean, yeah I love him, but do I
love
him, love him? Crap. I can’t say it. Nope. I am not going to go there. Not yet. Not until I know for sure if Slim feels the same about me. I’ll never admit anything, not even to myself. I am incredibly mad at him for pushing me away this morning. He was grumpy and not nice to me. I didn’t do anything to him. Ugh, my love life is pathetic. I’ll just have to ignore Slim’s strange behavior and pretend he didn’t hurt my feelings. It will be a piece of cake.
Cake.
Speaking of, maybe a slice would be kind of nice? I’ll just quit mind-babbling, take a shower and go to the store for some cake. I can’t bake worth anything, I was never taught - uber famous mom never baked or cooked a day in her life, so of course it was passed down to me and Indie. We couldn’t cook to save our lives. Such madness, I tell you. After cake, I’ll go to the Animal Humane Society and search for the perfect furry companion. There. It’s going to be a good day. Cake and animals.
*Sigh*
Slim.

I didn’t make it to the store or the humane society, instead I went to a cute little bakery in La Jolla called
Sugar and Scribe Bakery
. Got myself a nice slice of chocolate cake, with a rich, creamy chocolate frosting and chocolate shavings on top. Along with the cake, a large cup of steaming, hot coffee. I took this time to regroup myself. I had to think about what makes me happy; being alone with a fur companion or a hot guitar player in a band who I would love nothing more than to devour? I chose the latter. I’ve been happy being on my own for so long, but the second Slim entered my life, he’s all I have thought about.

This week has been a very not normal kind of week. Slim has been giving me mixed signals - well, I am guilty myself. I’ve been doing the same thing. That’s going to change, however, tonight. Whether he wants to see me or not, I’ll be in his bed. Two friends on the brink of having sex? I want it. I want him, and I have a feeling he wants me, too.

I know it’s late, past midnight, but I call him anyway. There’s no way I can fall asleep without him. I’ve become addicted to his cuddles, among other things. I really dislike not being able to fall asleep on my own anymore. I shouldn’t have to need anyone to help soothe my anxiety. It makes me feel weak.
Stupid bus crash
.