Lacy Williams (17 page)

Chapter Twenty-One

O
nly an hour home and Oscar itched to be away again. But not for the same reasons he’d wanted to go before.

He wanted to rush right back to Sarah and beg her to change her mind. Wanted to see Cecilia and Susie and Velma and hug them. Yep, he was a lovesick fool, for all four women.

He’d arrived just in time for lunch and shared a hearty meal with the family at his pa’s long table. He supposed he should be anxious to ride across the valley to his own place, but he was dragging his feet, leaning on the post holding up his pa’s porch roof and staring across the space instead.

He’d wanted someone to show it
to.
Sarah.

“Something eating you, son?”

He turned just as his pa clapped a hand on Oscar’s shoulder. The man used to be a head taller than Oscar, but now had to reach up an inch or two. Although Jonas wasn’t even a decade older than Oscar, he admired the older man and respected his advice. Oscar just didn’t know if he could voice his feelings about Sarah.

So he just shook his head in response to Jonas’s question.

“Penny’s been telling me for a while now that you and I need to sit down and have a talk, one-to-one.”

That sounded like Sarah’s unsolicited advice.

Oscar followed his pa out to the closer corral, next to the barn. Now that Jonas had been increasing his spread when each son turned eighteen, they needed more horses and had a second corral in the westernmost field.

Pa cleared his throat. It wasn’t easy for them to talk about this serious stuff. “New babies take a lot of time and attention. I didn’t remember it so much from Breanna. Guess I was so overwhelmed with life back then that having a baby around just seemed like part of what I was going through.”

“It’s understandable.” Oscar did understand. He saw how hard Penny and Jonas worked to spend time with the kids and keep the spread running. And he couldn’t begrudge his pa wanting to spend time with the little tykes while they were small.

“It’s not understandable if I made you feel like you weren’t welcome in your own home. I think you and Maxwell offered to bunk down in the barn, and then the bunkhouse, so we’d have a little more room in the house—”

“And so we could sleep through the night,” Oscar joked. “The horses are a lot quieter than babies.”

Jonas smiled, but shook his head at his son’s attempt to redirect the conversation. “I never wanted you to feel like you weren’t wanted.”

A hot ache began behind Oscar’s throat when his pa drew his shoulders into an embrace. “I love you, Oscar.”

He slapped his pa on the back. “I love you, too.”

They stepped apart, both clearing their throats, and looked out to the couple of young fillies roaming the corral. Oscar found the courage to say, “I was the one who started telling myself I wasn’t wanted. After what happened with my uncle...” He had to stop to clear his throat again. “I thought it would be easier if I distanced myself, if I was the one who was moving on, instead of waiting for you and Penny to tell me it was time to get on with my life.”

His pa slapped his shoulder. “Are you kidding me? She’s been nagging me every day to get you back here. We’ve missed you. The only reason I resisted was because I thought you were getting some adventures out of your system. Besides, every time you sent home a horse for your herd, I’d think about how you’d have to come home soon for good. And now here you are.”

Oscar nodded, squinting as he looked to the far horizon. “Now here I am.”

His pa remained at his shoulder, neither one talking, just looking out over the land. Oscar
had
missed this. The sense of family, of camaraderie that he felt just being with his pa or his brothers. Sarah had been right.

Finally, Jonas spoke. “Seems you’ve got the same look about you that I kept seeing in the mirror those few weeks I thought I couldn’t marry Penny.”

Oscar darted his eyes toward his pa. “And?”

“And it seems like it might be time for me to return the favor you and your brothers did for me when you told me to quit being afraid and get my hide down to town and ask her to marry me.”

Oscar sighed. “I already asked her. She said no.”

A glance at Jonas revealed the slightly stunned look on his face. “This the same gal Davy and Seb met when they came up to visit you? They sure seemed to think she was taken with you.”

“I thought she might be, but...” He told his father the situation, how he’d tried to explain things to Sarah, the reasons why they should be together.

“And then you told her that you loved her?” Jonas asked.

“Well...no.”

His pa snorted. “I guess I’m not surprised that she said ‘no’ then.”

“But it made sense for us to marry.”

Jonas chuckled. “If there’s one thing I’ve learned since Penny came into our lives, it’s that a woman needs to know how you feel. If she thought you
didn’t
love her, she might’ve said no because she didn’t want to be a burden on you.” The older man shrugged as if the workings of a woman’s mind were a mystery. Which they were.

Oscar considered it. Considered those kisses they’d shared. He didn’t think Sarah would’ve kissed him if she didn’t have some sort of feelings for him. Then he remembered how she’d argued back about him talking about returning to his cabin and horses. As if she was worried about his happiness, that he wouldn’t be happy with her and the girls.

“How come you didn’t tell her?”

Oscar flushed. “It was all tied up with my past, and what was going on with you and I. I guess I thought if I explained that we made sense to be together, then she’d understand what I wasn’t saying.” He paused. “I guess I got scared that she’d...she’d leave me, too. And if I put my heart out there...”

“She might reject it?”

Oscar swallowed, the reality of what he’d left behind hitting him square in the chest. It was not a comfortable feeling.

“So I guess you’re heading back to Lost Hollow?” Jonas asked.

Oscar’s heart thudded in his ears. “I guess I am.” The moment the words left his lips, it felt right.

Renewed energy flowed through him, making him jittery and anxious to get on the road.

“Go ahead and saddle up,” his pa said with a chuckle. “I’ll go explain things to Penny and load up some provisions.”

* * *

Oscar met her in the middle—about halfway between Bear Creek and Lost Hollow. He would’ve known it was Sarah by the crown of golden hair, but the way she sat her saddle was also a dead giveaway.

She was trotting the horse, but instead of posting and saving her backside from bouncing against the saddle, she wobbled and flopped all over the place. But the horse was allowing it, looking loose and relaxed as if they were just out for a jaunt.

He approached carefully, not wanting to spook the mare and either have her race off or buck Sarah off. He needn’t have worried. Sarah reigned in—she wasn’t as awful at that part—before he got close and waited for his approach.

The mare whickered to Oscar’s horse, obviously recognizing him. Oscar drew up close so that he and Sarah faced each other, knees brushing.

“What are you doing out here?” he asked, eyes glued to her wind-burned cheeks and hair rioting around her face. Her coat was drawn up as tightly as she could make it and she wore a scarf, but it was obvious she shivered with cold.

“Coming after you,” she gasped. “I’ve been riding since this morning. I thought I’d be farther, but I’m not.”

“Not riding like that,” he agreed. Grinned.

His heart felt so much lighter just being near her. His spirits were restored. She looked somewhat happy to see him—if cold. Maybe he still had a chance. Then he realized she was alone.

“Where are the girls?”

“That’s why I was coming to find you,” she said, teeth chattering.

He dismounted, quickly reaching out for her. “C’mere. You’re freezing.” He took off his own gloves and then hers, not surprised to find her fingers felt like blocks of ice. They hadn’t turned white from frostbite, though. He rubbed them between his palms, looking around them to the landscape.

“Let me see what I can find to get a fire started. I don’t remember passing any houses, and we need to get you warmed up.”

She shook her head. They were standing so close that her hair brushed his chin. “There’s not time. We’ve got to get back to Lost Hollow tonight.”

Her voice shook with urgency—and probably cold, too. She looked as if she was about ready to jump back on her horse regardless of what he said. Maybe she was so cold she was on the verge of hypothermia? He needed to calm her down, warm her up.

“All right.” He unfastened the front of his coat, a much heavier buffalo hide than her woolen garment, and drew her into his arms, tucking the coat around her as best he could, sharing his own warmth.

He chafed his hands up and down her back, across her shoulders, trying to bring back some circulation. “Whatever it is, you’re not going to do anyone any good if you’re frozen. Don’t you know if you’re riding all day, you’re supposed to get off the horse every once in a while and walk around? Restore the blood flow and warm yourself up? Or you could’ve found a ranch house to rest for a bit.”

He supposed the horse hadn’t really been moving fast enough to work up a lather and get herself good and worn out. He glanced at the animal as he held Sarah close, noting she was greeting Pharaoh with noses touching. She seemed fine.

“No t-time to stop.” Sarah pressed her icy face into his neck and it was his turn to gasp at the sensation. “Had to get to you.”

“Well, now you have,” he said, savoring the feeling that expanded his chest as her words sank in. “What do you need me to do?”

“Marry me.”

* * *

Sarah’s head spun as she burrowed into the warmth of Oscar’s embrace. His heart beat steadily beneath her cheek, reassuring her of his solid presence. He would help. He had to.

“Excuse me?” Although his voice did sound a little strangled.

“The morning after you left, the girls’ uncle—their real father’s brother—arrived in town.”

She felt him tense up, she was bundled so close.

“What did he want?” he asked.

“I thought he came for the girls, but then after Caldwell’s funeral, he started accusing Mr. Allen of things—and he blurted out that he has no interest in caring for the girls.”

“Well, that’s good, right? So you can still be their guardian?”

She shook her head. Tears filled her eyes as emotion overcame her, now that she didn’t have to fight this alone. Now that he would stand with her. “I was standing next to the circuit judge when he said it. I told the judge I wanted to take the girls and he looked at me—” She took a shuddering breath. “He said I was too young, and single besides.”

Now Oscar went silent. He was a smart man. No doubt his mind was coming to the same conclusion she had just before she’d left Lost Hollow.

He hesitated and her heart thundered.

“So I thought—I thought if we got married, well, I won’t be single any more and the judge will let me—will let us take the girls.”

“What about your Montana banker?”

“I didn’t even know the man, we only corresponded the once.”

“But you know me?” Oscar prodded.

She did, and she loved him. But based on his previous proposal, she couldn’t find the courage to say the words. “I know enough,” she said instead. “You’re a man of honor. You put aside your own wishes and plans to take care of Susie and Cecilia and Velma. You had enough integrity to stand up for me—”

He kissed her, interrupting whatever else she would’ve said. She melted against him, drinking in his warmth, his scent, the man himself.

Someone nudged her back, and Sarah drew away from Oscar. Reluctantly.

She looked over her shoulder. Make that something. Belle eyed her almost disapprovingly.

Oscar chuckled and drew her in close again for a hug, brushing another kiss to her forehead. “I see you two are getting along fine.”

“So will you do it? Marry me?” Pushing back inches from his chest and looking up into his face was one of the hardest things she’d ever had to do.

He wore a funny expression on his face. Surprised, and joyful, and something else besides. “Yes.”

He tugged her close again, this time just embracing her and surrounding her with his warmth.

“Hmm. We should go,” she said, reluctant to leave his embrace. She felt safe with him.

“You still need to warm up.” It was gratifying that he didn’t seem to want to let her go, either.

“I’m much warmer than I was a moment ago,” she admitted, blushing. His kiss had nudged everything else out of her brain.

He chuckled again, the sound vibrating against her cheek. “All right. But this time, we’ll be stopping to warm up—” he gave her a searing look “—when I say so.”

He boosted her up into Belle’s saddle, and she immediately shivered against the wind. Instead of mounting his own horse, he surprised her by untying a blanket from behind his saddle.

“Here,” he murmured, wrapping it around her shoulders and tucking it beneath her legs and the saddle, providing her a little more protection from the wind.

He tapped her booted toe. “It’ll be faster riding separately, but if you start feeling sleepy I want you to tell me right away.”

She nodded. It was wonderful, having someone care for her for a change. Nice to not be alone anymore. Even if he didn’t love her and was marrying her for the sake of the girls.

* * *

Hours later, Oscar glanced over his shoulder again to check on Sarah. The tip of her nose was bright-red, her eyes glistening, probably tearing from the wind and their fast pace.

She’d insisted they gallop and hadn’t argued when Oscar had taken the reins for her horse. It kept the animal close enough that they could talk, if need be, and that if the animal spooked he might be able to do something about it. After the time spent in hard riding, he and the mare were getting along all right.

He couldn’t quit thinking that he should’ve told her he loved her right away. She’d seemed so relieved when he’d agreed to marry her—and he’d been so shocked by her proposal that he’d agreed. Marrying Sarah was what he wanted. Mostly.