Krakens and Lies (12 page)

“When you were kidnapped, you mean,” Zoe's mother pointed out.

Pelly eyed her with enormous disdain. “If anyone could possibly take the trouble to help me down, that would be so delightful. But really, don't strain yourselves.”

Mr. Kahn stepped forward and lifted Pelly down to the ground with an audible “Oof!” The goose was as tall as Zoe and quite a bit wider, especially after a week of being pampered and fed anything she wanted by Miss Sameera. Pelly waddled over to the door that led into the Menagerie, holding her beak in the air.

“The paperwork's in order,” Runcible said, stowing the clipboard in his briefcase. “We'll just come along to check the goose's nest one more time.”

Zoe's parents only nodded, but Zoe could see the little sigh that her mother was repressing. Wasn't SNAPA done with them yet?

Pelly paraded slowly through the grass toward the Aviary, turning her head left and right as though she were surveying her kingdom (and finding it quite disappointing). Shortly before they all reached the dome, she stopped and stared piercingly at the Kahns.

“Well, I must admit I'm mystified,” she said sniffily. “Where is it?”

Zoe's mom and dad looked at each other. “Where is what?” her mom asked.

Pelly examined one of her wings as if she were really rather bored and not
that
interested in the answer. “My memorial, of course,” she said. “I mean, you all thought I was dead, so I'm sure you must have erected some kind of beautiful monument in my memory. A marble likeness of me, perhaps? Life-sized or twice my size, which did you choose? I would never say so myself, of course, but there are those who have observed that I would look simply
gorgeous
in marble. If it's not too heavy, perhaps we could move it next to my nest so I can admire it from time to time. I mean, if it's not too much trouble. Gazing at it might help just a
tiny bit
to get me through the trauma of my terrible ordeal.”

Zoe rolled her eyes. Her dad coughed.

“Um,” he said. “You know. Funny story. We actually hadn't quite—gotten around to your memorial yet. Of course we
would
have,” he added quickly as Pelly turned her full glare on him. “But we were all so, uh—”

“Devastated,” Zoe's mom chimed in. “So very, very devastated. We hadn't gone through all the stages of grieving. You understand. We couldn't commission a, um—beautiful marble statue—until we'd really accepted that you were gone.”

“Mmm-hmm,” said the goose, clearly not mollified. “And
how was my touching funeral? Who did the eulogy? I certainly hope someone sang ‘Amazing Grace.' Not that dragon who thinks she can sing, though; far be it from me to judge anyone's musical talent, but she quite obviously has none. Which poems did you read? I'm sure you all remembered my fondness for Robert Frost. Oh, I hope that phoenix wasn't invited. He wouldn't care if I was dead or alive and that color red would be entirely unsuitable for such a somber event. Did you videotape it?”

Has anyone ever videotaped a funeral?
Zoe wondered.

“We . . . hadn't gotten around to that, either,” Zoe's dad admitted.

Pelly swelled up indignantly, ruffling all the feathers on her chest. “WELL,” she said. “INDEED. I SEE.”

“Sorry,” Zoe's mom offered.

“NO, NO,” Pelly said ostentatiously. “Why should anyone bother to grieve MY death? I am ONLY a MERE GOOSE. There are a whole ELEVEN OTHER golden geese in the world; that makes me downright
expendable
, I suppose. Some would say my enchanting personality is irreplaceable, of course, but what do they know. Besides, I'm sure you would have found some other way to support this outrageously expensive operation IN NO TIME AT ALL.”

They were going to be hearing about this for weeks, Zoe realized. Possibly years.

Pelly huffed her way inside as Mr. Kahn opened the doors
to the Aviary. She flung out her wings in the warm, damp air inside and honked loudly. One of the halcyons landed on a branch overhead and gave the Kahns a disappointed look, like,
Did you have to bring her back?

“Oh, don't bother with a welcoming committee!” Pelly cried at the birds twittering all around the dome. “I wouldn't want you to trouble yourselves just because I've been to the brink of death and violently kidnapped and then brutally dragged back here. No reason to come see if I'm all right, no, no, please carry on flapping as if nothing has happened.”

When this failed to provoke any response from the other birds, Pelly fluffed her feathers again and stalked through the curtains of vines, toward her nest in the center of the Aviary dome.

“Uh-oh,” Zoe said suddenly. “Dad, has anyone checked Pelly's nest in the last couple of days?”

“We cleaned it up after SNAPA got all their evidence,” her dad said. “Don't worry, all the blood and feathers should be long gone.”

“But have you checked on whether anyone's been using it?” Zoe whispered. “It's the nicest creature home in the whole Menagerie. What if the alicanto decided to move in, thinking she was gone?”

“Or worse—” her dad said, but he was cut off by a shriek of fury.

“GET OUT OF MY NEST!” Pelly howled. “THIS IS
THE LAST STRAW! I AM GOING TO PLUCK YOU BALD, YOU GAUDY TRESPASSER!”

They burst through the vines to find Pelly chasing Nero, the only phoenix in the world, around and around her nest. He flapped his stunning red-gold wings furiously, yelping with alarm. He was still wearing the small dark-blue hooded sweatshirt that had materialized after Logan tried to put out the bird's resurrection flames with his own jacket.

“Why?” Nero yelled. “Why is she back? Why didn't anyone warn me? Why doesn't anyone
care about me at all
? Oh, I am so beleaguered! So neglected! So unloved!”

Pelly lunged at him, snapping her beak, and nearly caught one of the phoenix's long flowing tail feathers.

Nero's voice rose to a wail. “Help! She's going to murder me! Birdslaughter! Murder in the goose degree! Phoenixcide!”

“He's right!” Pelly yelled. “I am!”

“Now
stop this
,” Mr. Kahn said. He stepped forward and scooped up Nero; at the same time, Zoe's mom jumped (very bravely, Zoe thought) in Pelly's path and blocked her way. Nero whimpered as pitifully as he could and buried his head in Mr. Kahn's shirt.

“Everyone calm down,” Zoe's mom said.

“Calm!” Pelly squawked. She spread her wings at her nest, hopping from one foot to the other. Zoe had never seen her so animated. “That
fire starter
has been in
my nest
! He's SLEPT in it! He's breathed all over it! He's REARRANGED THE
PILLOWS! It's RUINED!” She started kicking and biting at the enormous nest, pulling out bits of straw and silk and fluff.

“Hmm,” Agent Runcible said disapprovingly. His fingers twitched toward his case, as if he was dying to report this new evidence of Menagerie incompetence.

“Pelly, it is not the end of the world,” said Zoe's dad. “Really. I'm sure Nero will stay as far away from your nest as you like, now that you're back.”

“Oh yes,” Nero said, poking his head out to frown at Pelly. “I'll just rearrange my flight patterns completely for a mentally unstable
farmyard bird
.”

“Nero!” Zoe's mom yelled as Pelly let out a crazy-eyed honk. “Don't make things worse!”

“Right,” her dad said. “Don't add fuel to the fire. Heh, get it?” He caught the look from Zoe's mom and shook his head. “Not the time, okay.”

“I could just DIE,” the phoenix muttered, flopping sideways in Dad's arms. “And no one would even CARE. No one would even NOTICE.”

“Do not set yourself on fire while I'm holding you, please,” said Zoe's dad. “Let's find you a safe spot for the time being, until everyone's feathers are less ruffled.”

“That is enough terrible puns out of you,” Zoe's mom said.

Agent Runcible cleared his throat. “Perhaps up by the roc,” he said. “Rocs are traditionally fairly calm about unusual circumstances.”

“Good idea, thanks,” said Zoe's dad. He left the clearing with Nero, and a minute later they heard him climbing the spiral staircase toward the roc's platform.

“Well,” said Runcible, “I think we're done here. Now we must focus on the potential exposure problem.”

Zoe thought guiltily of how she'd let Jasmin go home knowing the truth. But if she hadn't let Jasmin in on everything, they wouldn't know about the Sterlings' Election Day plans.

Pelly eyed them all beadily. “Oh, sure,” she said. “By all means, go. I'll just stay here and contemplate the wreckage of my home.”

“Great,” said Zoe's mom, evidently deciding not to play Pelly's game anymore today. “We'll check in on you again once you're a little more settled.” She put an arm around Zoe's shoulder and steered her toward the exit with the SNAPA agents close behind them.

“That's just fine,” they could hear Pelly grumbling behind them. “Everything SMELLS LIKE PHOENIX. I'm going to have nasty phoenix dreams all night.”

Zoe pushed through the outer Aviary door, trying to think positive. Pelly was back, and alive, most importantly. Scratch was safe. Maybe SNAPA would be able to solve their Sterling problem. Maybe in a few days, everything would be back to normal.

They emerged into the cold gray afternoon.

“MERFOLK OF THE WORLD, UNITE!” somebody screamed.

“SAFETY FOR ALL FINS!” shouted someone else.

“WE DEMAND OUR RIGHTS!”

“AND HAWAII!”

“HAWAII! HAWAII! HAWAII!”

Agent Runcible's eyebrows shot up. Just offshore, in the lake, a crowd of mermaids and mermen was bobbing up and down waving enormous waterproof signs.

How did they manage THAT so fast?
Zoe wondered. She'd already forgotten about Cobalt's threats from that morning.

“What on earth?” Zoe's mother said, coming to a startled halt. “Cobalt! What's going on?”

“THE MERFOLK ARE ON STRIKE!” the king bellowed across the water. “UNTIL OUR DEMANDS ARE MET!”

“Oh my,” Delia said in a low, bewildered voice.

“What?” said her mom. “Why—”

“Um,” Zoe said. “Right. A few things happened while you were gone.”

“I see,” said Agent Runcible. His eyes glittered coldly at Zoe and her mother. “It appears that we are not
quite
finished with you yet.”

“T
hey kraken inked Miss Sameera already?” Logan said in dismay.

“I know,” Zoe said. “I'm so mad.” She rubbed her arms, her eyes fixed on the lake below them, where Mr. and Mrs. Kahn were arguing with King Cobalt. Agent Dantes was listening with her arms folded, and Agent Runcible was on his phone, which didn't seem like a good sign.

Logan hadn't realized how many merfolk lived in the lake. From here he could see at least thirty, all of them shouting and splashing their signs around. It was enough noise that the zaratan was clearly displeased; the mossy green mound of
its shell had moved to the farthest north corner of the lake. At one point Logan even saw the giant turtle's head poke out to stare at the mermaids.

“Maybe it won't work,” Logan said. “They gave her kraken ink when she exposed the Menagerie in Parkville, too, right? And she still remembered it.”

“True,” said Zoe. “But that's not really a best-case scenario. Because then what do we do with her, if we can't wipe her memories?”

Blue and Marco came out of the sliding doors behind them. Marco offered Logan the sandwich he was holding. Logan shook his head with a shudder, so Marco shrugged and started eating it himself.

“Man,” Blue said, shoving his hands in his pockets. “I can't stand it when my dad gets mad like this. Good thing my mom's not—”

Melissa Merevy came storming out through the garage door and strode down the hill toward the argument at the lake.

“Awesome,” said Blue. He hunched his shoulders. “I think I'll go read in my room for a bit.”

“Oh, no you don't,” Zoe said. She grabbed his wrist before he could escape. “You need to help us with this problem, Blue.”

“There's not really anything I can do,” Blue protested. “I should just stay out of it.”

“You can help me figure out which merfolk chores are the most urgent,” Zoe said, pulling out her notepad. “And how
we're going to do them. The lake is the one habitat I don't know how to cover.”

Blue wrinkled his nose, looking deeply uncomfortable. “I'm not sure Dad would like that.”

“Well,
nobody
is going to like a grumpy zaratan or a hungry kelpie,” Zoe said. “Just tell me what the mermaids usually do, please.”

“Normal stuff,” Blue said, edging toward the house. “Feed the kelpie, feed the zaratan, check on the kraken.”

“Which is still not hibernating, by the way,” Logan said. “It pulled me into the lake earlier, right before I ran into the basilisk. I—I think it was trying to tell me something.”