Justin's Bride (20 page)

“Oh, but we only have the child's word on her age. It's likely her mother lied about it, to save her lover.”

Several of the women nodded in agreement.

Megan shook off Mrs. Dobson's restraining hand. “You're all mad. Bonnie is just a little girl, like your own children. She's done nothing wrong. Justin has done what you were afraid to do.” She pointed at her sister. “You don't know the meaning of Christian charity. You're heartless and cruel. I don't know you anymore.”

“Watch yourself, Megan. Don't forget who I am.”

“I know exactly who you are. Who all of you are. I'm ashamed I once thought of you as my friends.” Megan made her way out of the maze of tables. She gathered her shawl and reticule from a table by the hallway. “I'm sorry, Mrs. Dobson. I know you're on Justin's side, but you're wrong if you think these women can be reasoned with.”

Colleen stood up. “Megan, you're hysterical. Come back and sit down.”

“I won't.” She started toward the door.

Colleen came after her and followed her onto the porch. “You're acting a fool,” her sister said, her voice low and angry. “Don't fight me on this, Megan, or I swear I will destroy you.”

“I'm not afraid of you.” She started down the stairs.

“You will be,” Colleen called after her. “You will be.”

M
egan stormed into the sheriff's office, pushing open the door so hard it bounced off the wall. She shouldered past it and stomped toward Justin's desk. He looked up at her and raised his eyebrows. At the desk to his left, a young dark-haired man sat staring at her, his mouth partly open.

She barely spared him a glance. “I must speak with you, Sheriff Kincaid,” she said through clenched teeth. Fury filled her.

“So I gathered.” He jerked his head toward the door. “Take a walk, Thomas.”

“Yes, sir.” Thomas scrambled to his feet and crossed the room to the hooks by the door. He picked up his hat. “Ma'am,” he said, then closed the door behind him.

Justin motioned to the empty chair in the center of the room. “Have a seat.”

“Thank you.” She sat down, then stood back up. “I can't sit. I'm too angry.”

She pulled off her shawl and dropped it onto the seat, then slipped her reticule off her wrist and placed it on the shawl. Her heart was pounding in her chest, her breathing came in rapid pants. Her anger energized her and frightened her in equal measures.

Justin rose to his feet and came around the desk. He leaned one hip on the corner of it and folded his arms over his chest. “You look mad enough to spit.”

“I never spit. But you're right. I could today.” She drew in a deep breath and faced him. “I've been visiting Colleen.”

“That's enough to put anyone in a bad mood.” A faint smile pulled at his firm mouth. It tempted her to let go of her temper, but she couldn't. The problem was too serious, and far too dangerous.

“Don't try to tease me,” she said quietly. “She wasn't alone. Several women were having a meeting.”

“I don't care.”

“You should.”

“Because they want to fire me?” At her start of surprise, he shrugged. “I'm not stupid, Megan. Of course Colleen and her friends want to get rid of me. I'm making them uncomfortable. However, I haven't done anything illegal. They can't hurt me.”

“You're wrong.” She stepped closer to him. Dark hair tumbled down his forehead and in the back to the middle of his collar. He needed a haircut. “They're saying ugly things. Rumors, really, but they could be damaging. They're saying that Bonnie sleeps with you.”

He clenched his jaw and narrowed his gaze. “Who said that?”

“That's not important. Mrs. Dobson said it wasn't true, and of course the hotel staff can confirm it. Colleen also hinted—” Megan stopped midsentence and swallowed. She didn't want to say it. She was afraid of the truth. No, she was jealous of the past, of what he'd done with Laurie Smith. She lowered her gaze to her hands and noticed that she was twisting her fingers together. She tried to stop, but couldn't.

“Megan?” Justin touched her upper arm. “What did Colleen say that upset you?”

“She said Bonnie was your child. That's the reason you're taking such an interest in her.”

She kept her gaze centered on his chest, at the place where his black vest met his white shirt. She watched the slow rise and fall as he breathed in and out. She waited for him to say the words that would destroy her forever.

He swore.

Megan jerked her head up. Her eyes widened in shock. Justin glared at her. “I won't apologize for saying the word. Your sister is a conniving, lying... Damn her.” He flushed under his tan. “I never thought much of Colleen, and now I think even less.”

Megan turned away. Her heart continued to pound hard in her chest, but now it felt heavier. He hadn't denied it. He was angry that Colleen had guessed the truth. She blinked several times before realizing she was fighting tears.

“I understand.”

“I don't think you do.” She heard his footsteps on the wooden floor, then felt his hands on her shoulders. “You believe her, don't you?”

“I don't know what to think. Laurie said she could recognize you in the dark, and you said you'd...done that with her.” She bit hard on her lower lip. She wouldn't cry. She
wouldn't.
She'd given up tears long ago.

“You think so little of me. No wonder you didn't come away with me when I asked.”

She closed her eyes. She could feel him standing behind her, but she refused to turn around. She didn't want him to see the pain in her face; she didn't want him to know how much she still cared. Had she ever stopped caring? Her affections had changed over the years, mostly because she'd changed, but they'd never died. There had only ever been Justin in her life.

“Yes, I visited Laurie on occasion. Yes, I did ‘those' things with her. But not after you agreed to marry me.”

She spun around and her hands came to rest on his chest. She stared up at him, at his deep brown eyes. The stranger was gone. This was the Justin she remembered, the young man she'd been in love with.

“We were engaged for several months,” she said.

He nodded. “If Laurie had been pregnant with my child, it would have been obvious at the time of the attack.” He smiled. “Can you imagine how fast that sort of news would have traveled in this town?”

“Like a fall wildfire.” She felt her mouth tugging up at the corners. “Thank you for telling me that. You didn't have to. It—” she ducked her head in embarrassment “—it means a lot to me.”

He touched his finger to her chin and tilted her face toward him. “You believe me?”

“Of course.”

His mouth straightened. “Every time I think I understand you, you surprise me.”

He took her hands in his and pulled them away from his chest. When she would have protested, he glanced significantly to the freshly washed windows at the front of the office. She nodded her understanding. Anyone coming by could have seen them. A wave of embarrassment swept over her as she thought about how they'd been standing so closely together. Then she forced her head higher and squared her shoulders. She'd done nothing wrong, she had nothing to hide. Colleen's never-ending threats had done the reverse of what her sister had intended. Instead of being cowed by her harsh words, Megan felt stronger.

“I recognize that stubborn tilt to your head, Miss Bartlett,” Justin said, holding out the chair for her. “What are you planning now?”

She picked up her reticule and shawl and set them on the corner of his desk, then took the seat he offered. He went around to his chair and sat down.

“I was thinking brave thoughts,” she admitted. “You know, defying Colleen, that sort of thing.”

“Good for you. Tell me what else happened at this meeting of hers?”

“They want you fired, and one of them is going to have her lawyer look at the contract.”

He shrugged.

“Don't you care?” she asked. “I thought this job was important to you. You said you came back because you have something to prove. If you lose your position, they'll have won.”

He leaned forward, resting his forearms on the desk. “They can't win, Megan. I've accomplished what I set out to do. I've made peace with some of the townspeople, I've faced my ghosts. Leaving wouldn't be the worst thing in the world.”

It would be to me,
she thought, and realized she didn't want him to go. A dangerous line of thinking, she told herself. Things were different between them. They couldn't go back to where they'd been before. But she still didn't want him to go. Not yet. He might have made his peace with some people in the town but not with her. She and Justin still had something between them. They needed time to settle it.

“Let me take Bonnie,” she said impulsively. “If you don't have her with you, they won't have anything to complain about.”

“No,” he said sharply. “You've always cared too much about what other people think. Since Mrs. Dobson smoothed the way, I find your willingness to take Bonnie now a little too convenient.”

“That's not fair,” she said, springing to her feet. “I was willing to take her, but you didn't give me a chance to say so. I might be concerned about what others think, but you've always been very quick to judge me. I didn't instantly say yes. Is that so awful?” She curled her fingers into her palm. “I'm a businesswoman. I spend most of my day at the store. My concern was for the child, not myself. I see now that she enjoys being in the store and visiting with people. But I didn't know that before. Mrs. Dobson is teaching her her numbers. I've started her with her letters. I was worried about her. Of course, you won't believe that, will you?” she asked bitterly. She glared at him. “You still think I'm the girl you left seven years ago. You still think I'm a fool and afraid, but you're wrong.”

He leaned back in his chair. “A very nice speech. If only it were true. You've always been ruled by what other people think.”

Not five minutes ago she'd been thinking about how much she cared for him. Now she wanted to scream in frustration. “You're not listening to me. I want to take Bonnie. I don't care what Mrs. Greeley, my sister or the entire town has to say about it. She's just a little girl. She needs a home and food and caring. I can provide those things for her.”

“She already has them.”

His quiet words doused her temper. Megan moved next to the desk and stared down at him. She thought about Mrs. Greeley's ugly accusations and her own sister's uncharitable attitude. No one understood why Justin had taken in the child. Megan had thought it had something to do with his and Bonnie's both being fatherless and growing up in a town that didn't want them. Perhaps that's how it had started, but it wasn't that way anymore.

“You care about her,” she said with surprise.

“What did you think?”

“I wasn't sure. I thought it was an obligation, or that you were doing it because it annoyed people.”

“I'm flattered by your high opinion of me.”

She waved her hand at him. “Don't be that way. You know what I meant. But it's more than that. You really love her.”

He shifted on his chair, but didn't deny her statement. “Bonnie's easy to love,” he said. “She doesn't care about who my parents are or aren't. When she does find out, it will just bring us closer. She doesn't care about the town, or what it thinks. She gives with her whole heart. There's no holding back. No lies.”

Megan raised her hand to her cheek as if she could feel the physical imprint of his verbal slap. Bonnie was easy to love for all the reasons she, Megan, had left him. Bonnie was honest, Bonnie didn't care about the town, Bonnie didn't lie. Bonnie gave without question.

Megan walked to the window and stared out onto the street. She recognized most of the people walking by or riding in wagons. She knew the sounds of Landing, the seasons, the changes. Justin was right. She'd loved her position, her reputation and good name more than she'd ever loved him.

Loving him had been the most wonderful thing she'd ever done, and the hardest. No matter how much she'd cared, there'd been no sense of rightness or freedom. In the deepest part of her heart, she'd known it wasn't meant to be. She didn't have the courage to walk away from everything. She didn't trust him enough. The fear had been bigger and stronger than both of them.

Those idyllic months, that perfect summer, was a lifetime ago. The girl who'd promised, then broken her word was gone. Only the fear remained. She clutched at the windowsill, feeling the wood and the cool panes of glass. She swallowed against the tightness in her throat.

What would happen if she let go of the fear? What would happen if she gave in and did exactly what she wanted to do? She closed her eyes and thought about what had happened to her mother. She could hear her father's voice telling Colleen and herself that their mother was dead. She'd known it was a lie, but she'd been too afraid to say anything.

Afraid. There was that word again. Would she ever escape?

She thought about explaining why. Justin would listen, he might even understand. She opened her eyes and drew in a deep breath. The explanations didn't matter. Not anymore.

“I'm sorry,” she said. “I know the words don't mean much, but I want you to know what happened that day has never left me. I was wrong to react that way. I was wrong to say those things.”

I was wrong not to go with you.

But she didn't say that. It was too late for those regrets. Telling him that truth would only make
her
feel better.

“I know you're sorry,” Justin said. He stared at Megan standing in front of the window, at the stiffness in her back and shoulders, at the way she clutched at the window frame, as if it were all that held her upright. “That doesn't change the past, or the fact that I left here alone.”