Kellen looked up when she finished, appeared as if she was about to say something. Maybe thanks. But then her eyes widened and the empty glass slipped from her fingers. Dana knew she’d just caught sight of Calvin Grant. And as she bent to retrieve the glass, Kellen’s expression—one that had been so filled with emotion only an instant before—closed down.
*
“Special Agent Grant.” The words burned in her sore throat and she worked at maintaining her composure, at least on the outside. She could keep her expression blank. Knew how to shut things out. How to separate. How to survive. “I saw you at the landing pad and guessed you were waiting to see me. And now it seems you’ve found me with a little help from my colleagues, so we might as well get this over with. What can I do for you?”
“Ms. Ryan, we need to talk.”
“Obviously. Why else would you be here?” Kellen struggled to concentrate while feeling hot and cold simultaneously. “It’s clearly not to tell me you’ve caught the man who shot me. If that was the case, you would have already told me. And since I’ve already told you what I know, which is nothing, why is it we need to talk?”
There was an infinitesimal tensing of Grant’s big body. Bogart evidently didn’t like it any more than she did and immediately issued a low warning growl. Even after a soft word from Kellen, the dog held his ground and his ruff remained spiked as they both watched Grant and waited.
“The man who shot you—he’s been busy. As near as we can tell, he’s killed at least four SAR personnel, in Oregon, Wisconsin, New York, and most recently in Kentucky. We still don’t have any idea who he is and haven’t come close to catching him. But we believe he’s working his way back to Colorado. Back to you, Ms. Ryan.”
As Kellen’s heart rate increased, Bogart whimpered, pressed closer, and licked her hand. “It’s okay, boy,” she murmured, but the words rang hollow in her own ears.
Beside her, Annie placed a hand on her leg and squeezed gently, which she took for a silent show of support. Dana caught her gaze. She continued to hold it until Kellen began to feel uncomfortable. Dana saw too much, Kellen realized and was the first to break the connection.
With no choice remaining, she turned back to face Grant, hesitated, then asked, “Me specifically or anyone on my team?”
“You. Specifically.”
Kellen’s mind raced with questions and insane possibilities she had to consider. “Why me?”
“It’s what the experts back in Quantico believe. I can give you all the psychobabble if you want me to, Ms. Ryan, or I can keep it simple.”
“Simple, please. And if we’re actually going to have a conversation about someone who wants to kill me, can you at least call me Kellen?”
Grant nodded. “Kellen, the experts believe after he failed to kill you, he went out and practiced. Perfected his craft, if you will. And now he’s ready to come back and remove the only failure from his record.”
“Me.”
“Yes. The simple truth is we can only guess at what’s motivating him. He could simply be angry, because SAR services failed to save someone important to him or because he tried for SAR and failed to make the grade. Both scenarios are equally possible and we’ve got people going through every documented search across the country covering the last ten years. Looking at cases where at least one victim died. They’re also combing through the records for SAR training programs across the country, looking at anyone who got cut.”
Kellen instinctively knew there was more. It was almost as if he was watching her. Waiting. Trying to determine the right moment when he had her off balance enough to spring whatever else he was holding back.
“Or maybe he’s someone from your past.”
Apparently the moment was now.
Grant spoke softly, but there was an edge of something—impatience maybe or anger—in his voice. “Because that’s where things get really interesting, in my opinion.”
“How so?”
“Everyone leaves a paper trail as they go through life. So would it surprise you to know that before you rescued a senator’s daughter roughly ten years ago, other than a student enrolled at the University of Colorado, there’s no record of a Kellen Ryan anywhere that matches your description? No birth record. No parking tickets. Nothing whatsoever. Kellen Ryan simply doesn’t exist before then.”
Kellen felt as though he had hit her with vicious blows rather than simple words. How strange that any reminder of the past could hurt and make her defensive. “That’s crazy—”
“Is it? Then why don’t you show up in any records? And here’s the thing. We all know if you have enough money or know the right people, anyone can buy a new identity. You can get forged documents as good as the real thing, have them entered into a computer system, and use the information that’s been planted to get a driver’s license. Credit cards. A passport. And if you use them long enough and nobody raises any flags or asks any questions, you have a new life.”
Kellen felt Annie’s hand, still on her leg, begin to shake. She swallowed hard and forced back a surge of questions of her own, hating the way her heart pounded against her ribs, leaving them bruised, battered. “Tell me, Agent Grant. What is it you want?”
“What do I want? I want to understand what the hell is going on. Maybe by understanding, I can identify whoever is out there killing people and trying to kill you in the process. The truth is people don’t appear out of thin air unless they have something to hide. So I need to understand. Are you running from something? Is someone trying to hurt you? I know you’re not in witness protection because I checked. Tell me who you are and who’s after you and I’ll do everything I can to help.”
No
.
Her head hurt, throbbing and pulsing as cold reality seeped in. She narrowed her eyes against the pain. “Will you answer one question for me?”
“Of course. I need you to know, I’m not your enemy.”
Kellen shrugged, not certain if she believed him. Not certain it mattered. What was important, what she needed to ask was, “Are any of my…my colleagues…are they at risk if they’re around me? Near me? Is there a chance that any of them could get hurt if this person tries for me again?”
“Can they become collateral damage? Is that what you’re asking? Out in the field, on a rescue, where even a slight shift in the wind can alter the direction of a bullet? I’m sorry, but the answer is yes.”
Kellen closed her eyes, guilt trickling through her.
Annie chose that moment to speak. “Then we won’t let her go out in the field.”
Nearly simultaneously, Dana added, “We’ll ground her until this is resolved.”
Kellen’s eyes flew open again. “You can’t do that.”
“I’m sorry, Kel, but yes, she can,” Annie said gently. “In her role as medical lead, Dana can ground anyone she feels isn’t in peak condition, mentally or physically. Anyone who could be a danger to themselves or the team. And if it was needed, which it isn’t, I would back her on this one.”
That was all it took.
One moment Kellen felt ready to fight, in the next she went very still. Completely shut down as something deep inside—maybe the trust she’d managed to build—shattered like shards of ice. Running her hands over her face, she pressed her fingers hard against her eyes.
“All right, then. I’m grounded.” She didn’t raise her voice. She didn’t have to. Keeping her emotions on a very short leash, she turned away from Dana and Annie, squared her shoulders, and lifted her chin to face Grant, using up her last reserves of energy. “I also have nothing to say to you. All I want is to be left alone. And since for now this is still my cabin, you can all let yourselves out.”
“Kellen—” Annie pleaded.
“Bogart.” The word was soft, but carried unmistakable strength. The dog immediately issued a low growl in his throat as he stood by her side.
Annie and Dana looked at her a moment longer, then quietly followed Grant out of the cabin.
Well into the evening, Dana struggled to understand what had happened and tried to determine the best course of action. With no success. She couldn’t stop seeing Kellen, how devastated she had looked when they’d left. Rage and grief had burned equally in her eyes. And with her skin flushed with fever, she’d also looked more fragile and more vulnerable than Dana thought possible.
What Grant had disclosed—it was simply unthinkable, and somewhere there had to be the truth. Answers. But she knew finding them was going to be the challenge. And there was always the possibility that some questions would never be answered.
Cody and Ren clearly knew something was wrong. Anytime she saw them over the remainder of the day there had been no shy smiles. No laughter. They simply went about their business and made no eye contact with anyone other than each other, before disappearing altogether.
In the meantime, she still had no answers. Only questions.
Ignoring the debate raging in her head, Dana turned her depleted energy to finishing the work on the medical center, overseeing construction and working until she was too tired to think. She then spent the rest of an endless night tossing and turning. Wishing she’d done things differently. Wishing she understood how someone could simply not exist prior to ten years ago.
But outside the realm of fiction, she had no frame of reference for how someone could simply change their identity and become someone else.
Dana considered the similarities with her own situation. She too had ended up in Haven hopeful of a new start. But that was where the similarity ended. She hadn’t wanted to disappear. Not exactly. Rather, she’d been looking for a place where people would actually see who she really was.
She’d never been comfortable around people who thought they were better than everyone else because of their socioeconomic status. She’d encountered the breed often while growing up and had always been angered by people whose innate arrogance made them believe they could claim her as one of them. Simply because she came from wealth. Because her father was a highly respected and sought after cardiologist. Because her mother was a partner in a prestigious law firm.
They failed to see those things didn’t define her. Just as her parents failed to see her move to New York and then to Haven wasn’t intended to punish them or eradicate her past. Instead all she wanted was some distance. Some breathing room. A place to sink roots of her own and be all the things she hoped to be. A doctor. A friend. A lover. A soul mate.
Long before the first light of day bled through her bedroom window, she gave up any pretense at sleeping. She quickly showered and dressed, then headed to the office, not surprised to find a hollow-eyed Annie struggling to make coffee.
Placing a gentle hand over Annie’s, she said, “Go sit down. I’ll finish this.”
She cleaned up the grounds Annie had spilled, rinsed the pot, and finished making the coffee, waiting as the water ran through the machine and the aroma of coffee filled the air. Once two mugs were filled with fresh brew, she brought them to the desk where Annie sat, mindlessly toying with a carving of an eagle that had previously sat on her window ledge.
“Kellen made this for me, the first Christmas we were business partners,” she said. “I knew she had no money, that everything she had she’d been pouring into making Alpine a success, and I wasn’t expecting anything. So I was stunned when she gave it to me. It was so incredibly beautiful and I hadn’t known wood carving was something she liked to do, let alone did so well.”
“It’s amazing.” It also explained the web of scars she’d noticed on Kellen’s fingertips. Fine, pale white scars.
“Yes, it is. She told me that when she’d lived on the streets, she hadn’t wanted to panhandle. She didn’t like to ask for anything. But she could make carvings—large and small—and sell them, make enough money to survive. It was a business transaction, in her mind, rather than a handout.”
Dana tried to process what she’d just heard. All the disparate pieces that made up the whole story. “You knew.”
“That Kellen had lived on the streets? Yes. She told me, very early on in our friendship. Not a lot, just that she’d been a runaway. That she’d celebrated her thirteenth birthday under the Golden Gate Bridge. She never said why and I didn’t press. But I should have.”
“Why?”
“I’d seen some of the scars she has. I knew someone had hurt her. Hurt her rather badly. But I didn’t put it all together, that she might still be hiding from someone. I didn’t know she’d changed her name, her identity. She should have told me.”
“But she didn’t.”
“No. I know for a fact my father had Kellen checked out, around the time we became business partners. But all he would tell me was she posed no threat to me and, in fact, he thought we would be good for each other. I wish he had told me more. Maybe then I could figure out how to help her.”
“Does that mean you still want to help Kellen?”
Annie’s eyes widened with surprise. “Of course. Don’t you?”
There was no hesitation. “Yes.”
“Good.” Annie surprised her and grinned weakly. “I’d hate to have to fire you instead of making you a partner.”
Dana stared at her as the words filtered into her tired brain. For an instant, their eyes locked. And then they both started to laugh.
“Could I ask you something? Grant said—”
“He said Kellen saved my life.”
“Yes.”
“She did. That’s how we first met.” Annie’s focus visibly faded a little as she remembered. “I was here with a group of friends from college. We’d gotten together because we were all turning the big three-oh and for some unknown reason, we decided we needed to do something adventurous to commemorate the event.”
Dana laughed. “Let me guess. The decision was made over drinks?”
“Of course. Then someone—I can’t remember who anymore—suggested since we were here, our adventure should involve something outdoorsy, like hiking in ice and snow. None of us had any real experience beyond things we’d done in college, but we all agreed and set out the next morning. Except none of us had bothered to check the weather forecasts, and as luck would have it, we somehow got separated just as a storm hit.” Annie shrugged as the memory sent a visible shiver through her. “Lesley and I had just gotten together during that trip. Finally admitted our feelings for one another. And when everyone got back to the lodge and they realized I hadn’t made it back, Lesley decided she wasn’t willing to take any chances.”