Junie B., First Grader: Cheater Pants (5 page)

I printed it very neat on my paper.

“The next word is
box,
” said Mr. Scary. “I keep all my toys in a
box. Box.
”

I sat up even perkier. Because ha!
Box
is just as easy as
fox!

Mr. Scary smiled. “The next word is
would,
” he said. “I
would
like all of you to do well on this test.
Would.
”

Just then, I stopped perking. ’Cause sometimes I get mixed up on that one.

I wrote down some letters.

Then I crossed them out. On account of that was the wrong kind of wood, I believe.

I tried again.

I shook my head. That didn't look right, either.

Finally, I covered my face and I did a groan.

“Shh!” said May.

Herb started to turn around to see what was the matter. Then he quick stopped himself. ’Cause no turning around during a test, of course.

I looked at what I wrote some more. Then I strained my brain to try and remember how to spell it. Only nothing came to me.

Finally, I did another groan.

And
that's
when a miracle happened!

My friend Herbert came to my rescue!

First, he shifted a teensy bit in his chair. Then he moved his test paper to where I could see it. And he pointed to the word with his finger.

My mouth came open at that lovely gesture.

’Cause I didn't even ask him to do that! Herb just
gave
that word to me.

Like a gift!

I stretched my neck to see it better.

And yay! As soon as I saw the word, my imagination got sparked! And I remembered the letter
l
perfectly good!

I quick wrote it down on my paper.

I was just in time!

Mr. Scary was already on the next word.

“Peek,”
he said. “I saw you
peek. Peek.”

Just then, I sat in my seat very still. And I did a gulp. ’Cause I really thought he saw me
peek
, that's why.

Only good news! I was wrong!

On account of he
didn't
see me peek. He
didn't
! And besides, what I did this time wasn't even bad, probably. Because Herb
shared
that word with me. Just like we shared words for our poem.

Finally, I did a little sigh. And I wrote
peek
on my paper.

After that, I took the rest of the spelling test very perfect.

And I put what happened right out of my brain.

Sort of.

That night, me and Philip Johnny Bob didn't sleep that good.

We tossed and turned a real lot.

Also, Philip Johnny Bob talked in his sleep a little bit. ’Cause I heard him say the word
cheater pants.

I woke him up when I heard that. Then both of us got a drink of water. And we talked about what was the trouble.

The next morning, our eyes were poopish and droopy.

And guess what? We were not the only
ones who looked like that, either. ’Cause when my friend Herb got on the bus, his eyes were poopish and droopy, too.

He plopped down next to me. And he did a big yawn.

“I didn't sleep good last night,” he said real tired.

I nodded. “Me too, Herb. I didn't sleep good, too,” I said.

Herb sat there a minute. Then he did a sigh.

“Yeah, only I don't even want to tell you
why
I didn't sleep,” he said. “Or maybe you might get mad at me.”

I raised my eyebrows at him. “Oh?”

Herb squirmed in his seat kind of uncomfortable. Then he quieted his voice.

“It's kind of about the spelling test,” he whispered.

I thought about that. “Oh,” I said. “Oh, yeah. I guess I didn't thank you for helping me, did I?”

I patted his arm.

“Thank you, Herb,” I said. “Because of
you, I will always remember how to spell the word
would.
”

Herb's shoulders slumped way down.

“Yeah, see … but
that's
the problem, Junie B.,” he said.
“That's
why I didn't sleep last night. Because I'm sorry, but I don't feel that good about helping you.”

He squirmed some more.

“I mean, at the time, I thought it would be nice. But as soon as I showed you my test, it didn't feel nice at all. Instead, it felt like … well, you know, it felt like I was a—”

I quick sat up and interrupted him.

“A
cheater pants
!” I said. “It felt like you were a cheater pants. Right, Herb? Right?
That's
how come you couldn't sleep last night, correct? ’Cause at first you thought it would be nice to share with me.
Only as soon as you did it, it felt kind of wrong inside.”

Herb looked surprised at me. “Yeah, it did. But how did you even
know
that?”

“Because
, Herb.
Because,”
I said. “Have you forgotten who you are talking to here? I am a cheater pants myself, remember? So I know exactly what it feels like!”

I shook my head.

“I can't believe it, Herb. I can't believe I did it two days in a row,” I said. “’Cause on Monday I copied May's homework. And yesterday I copied your spelling word. Only at first, I tried to pretend that you and me were just sharing.”

Herb nodded kind of sad. “Yeah. But we weren't, were we?” he said.

“No,” I said back. “We really weren't, Herbert. On account of sharing on a
spelling test is called
cheating.
”

Herbert did a wince at that word.

I patted him. “I know just how you feel, pally,” I said. “The word
cheater
makes you feel like a nasty, rotten ratty pants who can't even be trusted.”

Herb nodded. Then he smiled a little bit.

“You have a nice way with words,” he said.

I did a shrug. “Actually, Philip Johnny Bob came up with that one.”

After that, me and Herb rode the rest of the way to school without talking.

We both felt better, I think.

We told on ourselves at recess.

Me and Herbert.

Both of us.

Together.

We went to Room One after lunch. And we told Mr. Scary that we cheated on the spelling test.