Journals of the Secret Keeper (15 page)

"What she say," Willetta asked.
"She said, ""Well, I guess I gotta forgive
you Mr. Ricky, because I'm gone need some
forgiveness too.""
CHAPTER 37
Volume 4, pg. 2 (June 1972):
"I asked Anita if she
knew anything about Martha and Ricky. She said
Martha was the talk of the town. Everybody knew
she liked married men. Even Anita's daddy, the
righteous Reverend Ferguson Mosley, had fallen
under her spell. "
#
Time got away from Willetta completely.
She was enjoying talking with Mr. Ricky and
Martha about old times. She was thoroughly
charmed by Mr. Ricky and because of this, felt an
acute sense of disloyalty towards Andrik. He would
never understand it, especially if he didn't listen to
reason. He was deeply affected by his childhood
and he had two live people to blame for it. There
was no way he'd exonerate them ever in his
lifetime, if he ever got wind of the whole truth.
It was three o'clock in the afternoon before
Willetta reached the gate to find it closed. She
immediately thought the worse. Had he somehow
found out what she and Martha had done? She
pushed the button.
"Is that you, Willetta," he asked. His voiced
sounded strained.
"Yes. Open the gate please," she said.
The gate immediately opened and Willetta
drove through. She got out and walked onto the
porch. He opened the door before she could touch
the handle.
It was on the tip of Andrik's tongue to ask
her where she'd been, but he thought better of it and
stepped aside to let her in. He did not want to
appear overbearing, even if he had been burning
with curiosity all afternoon. So, he asked the most
obvious and most sensible question.
"Where is Martha?"
"She decided to stay out at Mama Jean's for
a while.
Don't ask why. She's a mystery to me
too." She stared at Andrik for good measure. She'd
always heard that the best liars could look you dead
in the eye.
"Why are you staring at me like that," he
laughed.
Willetta shrugged and headed for the stairs.
She was at the top when Andrik called her name.
"Don't you want to hear about my day," he
asked. He'd missed her presence in the house. It
had surprised him that she was gone. The last ten
days had been filled with one adventure after
another, but always with Willetta at his side. She'd
never left the house without him but for that one
time and then she'd promised not to leave him alone
with Martha and she hadn't.
"What happened? I can see it on your face,"
she said from the top of the stairs. She wore creamcolored slacks and a chocolate brown blouse. Her
hair was down for a change and curled around her
neck and shoulders. Andrik's eyes slid to the curve
of her hip and he decided she was the finest woman
he'd ever seen.
"Octavia and Olivia came by. They said
Aunt Olivia sent them. She thinks the white woman
on the screen is her mother and she wants it," he
said.
"What," Willetta said. She turned to walk
on up the stairs and into her room. Andrik
followed. She flicked the light on and crossed the
room to the screen. She turned it into the light and
stared at the woman.
"What do you think," Andrik asked.
"I don't know. It doesn't make any sense.
Why would Etta have a picture of Aunt Olivia's
mom and how would she have gotten it?" Willetta
asked.
"Probably the same way she got the
woman's child," Andrik said.
Willetta took a deep breath and dropped
down on the bed. "This is so tiring. All these
mysteries and secrets and tales from the past. Will
it ever end," She groaned and fell backwards onto
the bed.
Andrik watched as she kicked her sandals
off and flipped over onto her stomach. "I think we
should read everyone of Mama Jean's journals,
Andrik. Maybe it will explain some things and give
us a different perspective on what we think we
know," she said.
"How about I let you read the journals and
then you can help me gain a new perspective on
what I already know," he said.
"I never took you for a coward, but that's
how you're acting," she said. She half laughed and
half screamed when he poked one of his long
fingers into her shoulder.
"What you call me," he scowled playfully.
"I said you a yella belly!" Willetta yelled
laughingly.
"You got three seconds to take that back or
I'm gone do something real bad to you," he
growled.
"I ain't nevah been scared of no yella
bellies," she cried in a ridiculously high-pitched
southern voice. She crawled off the bed and stood
before him with her hands on her hips.
"I should beat the hide off ya for that, but I
know how to teach a lady to stay in her place,"
Andrik laughed.
Willetta knew instantly that the game had
shifted. The intensity in Andrik's eyes changed and
his intent was clear.
"What you gone do, cowboy," she
whispered bracing herself for the touch of his
hands.
"You layin down a gauntlet, Lettie?" he
asked huskily.
Willetta knew what he was really asking and
she refused to answer.
Let the dice fall where they
may
whispered into her conscience. She tried to
shut it out.
Andrik didn't move. He stared openly at
Willetta. His eyes boldly perused the length of her
body and he wasn't satisfied. He'd never
experienced this kind of wanting. It was a novelty
that wanting could feel so good. He savored the
feeling as his eyes rose from Willetta's bare feet to
her lips. He took one large step into her space and
slid his arms around her waist pulling her tightly
against him.
"Cat got your tongue," he whispered into her
mouth. "Let me have it instead."
Willetta melted against him and slid her
arms up around his neck. The kiss was the same
and yet even better than the ones they'd already
shared. This added new meaning to getting beneath
someone's skin. Andrik was initiating a slow
insidious invasion of her skin. She sighed against
his lips in resignation. This was going to happen
eventually, but not tonight. She pulled away.
"Andrik, I want you to read Mama Jean's
journals. I saw your psychology certificates in your
room. You know you need to read those journals,"
she said.
"I see my kiss was very inspirational," he
murmured.
He took his hands from her waist and
crossed over to the suitcase. He looked down at it
as if it were a snake.
"I can't get involved with you until you
resolve some of your past issues," she said quietly.
Andrik's whole body stiffened. Her words
cut him to the heart. He'd spent his whole life
feeling like half a man because of his past issues.
His interest in Willetta was far above and beyond
carnal; yet her words hinted at possible rejection.
He turned and looked at her.
Willetta saw the hurt in his eyes and opened
her mouth to explain what she meant, but he was
already walking through the door. He slammed it in
her face.
CHAPTER 38
Volume 1, pg.1 (December 1981):
" Maureen had
a little girl. I know it's Stanley's baby. She got
word out that it ain't though. This sho is a tangle. I
wonder why Maureen denying Stanley his right to
know he got a baby? I named the baby Willetta.
With a name like that, she sho to end up where she
belong. I ain't wanting no more lost babies. "
#
Two days later Andrik was still avoiding
Willetta. The house was silent as a tomb. She'd
passed him in the hall and on the stairs several
times. Each time he'd been cordial, but distant and
closemouthed. Willetta wanted to scream, but she
hoped he would come to his senses and realize she
was right. She was only trying to help.
She left the house each day for a couple of
hours to check on Martha and Mr. Ricky. They
were having a jolly good time with each other. Mr.
Ricky was laughing more and Martha's sarcasm and
cynicism had vanished. She was fairly bouncing
and probably would have been if not for the eighty
years of life that slowed her down. Willetta was
amazed at their transformations.
Monday morning she asked Martha if she
was going with her to meet Gwenneth and Samuel
and Martha quickly declined saying she couldn't
leave Mr. Ricky.
"Why don't both of you come," she asked.
"Ricky we been closed up in this house for
days now. Let's go on and go," Martha said. She
was standing at the kitchen sink and he and Willetta
were sitting at the table.
Mr. Ricky looked over at Martha and
smiled. Willetta's heart skipped a beat. It was like
looking into Andrik's face. She looked away
because it saddened her to know that two men so
much alike would never know each other.
"We can go, Martha. That's all you been
talking about anyway. You got me wanting to see
some of Etta's folks," he said.
"Good. I'll be around at eleven to pick you
up," Willetta said.
#
Willetta took her time getting reading for
lunch with her relatives from Atlanta. After
dissolving scented beads in her bath, she soaked for
a long time, before dressing carefully.
She didn't
want to remind them in word or deed of the
vulnerable girl they used to know. She was strong
and mature now. Her black pants suit with a silk
cream colored blouse beneath it would fit the part.
She slipped a pair of black pumps onto her feet;
pearl studded earrings into her earlobes; a brush of
eye shadow; eye liner; gloss for her lips and she was
ready.
When she opened the door to leave, she
walked right into Andrik's hard body. He caught her
and steadied her with his hands. He was dressed to
go out too. The white dress shirt he wore opened at
the collar revealing smooth black skin from neck to
chest. His slacks were close-fitting and clearly
outlined the muscles in his hard thighs.
"Where are you going," she asked without
thinking. She certainly didn't want him asking her
the same question.
"With you. I remember being invited too,"
he said.
Willetta was speechless. She nervously
hitched her purse strap further up on her shoulder to
bid for time. Andrik hadn't had much of anything to
say to her for two days. She couldn't believe he
even remembered. Now what was she going to do?
She couldn't let him go anywhere near Mama Jean's
house. It would ruin the whole day. Andrik would
go crazy if he found out Mr. Ricky was in Mama
Jean's house. She couldn't very well leave Martha
either. History was in the making as far as Martha
was concerned. She was about to get to know the
names and faces of people in her blood line. A line
she and her mother both had been alienated from
because of Etta's crime.
"Okay, great. Well, we'll see you at Western
Sizzlin. I'm going to get Martha," she said and tried
to ease past him.
Andrik reached out and wrapped his hand
around her forearm. "Willetta, you were right. I do
have some past issues to work out, but I'm still
capable of having this relationship with you."
She took a deep breath to steady herself.
Andrik's face was filled with an emotion she could
not define. She knew he had given his words a lot
of thought and needed her full attention.
"Andrik, I didn't say you were incapable of
handling a relationship. I just want everything out
in the open. I want the mystery of the past gone.
We both have a lot to work through. There are
some things about me you don't even know," she
said.
Andrik looked down into the face of the
woman before him. Everything about her
impressed him.
She was still strong in the face of
being raped, Damion Racy's abuse and finding out
the tangles of insanities and lies surrounding their
family.
He viewed her as a woman among women
and she was nothing but whole and complete in his
eyes.
"I'll read the journals," he said.
Willetta smiled widely and held her arms
out to hug him. Andrik wrapped his hands around
her waist instead. He lifted her up against him.
Willetta didn't feel she would ever get used to being
handled so easily by this big man, but she put her
hands on his shoulders and waited for the searing
kiss she knew would come. He did not disappoint.
By the time he slid her down his body and to the
floor, she had completely forgotten the dilemma she
was in.
"Ride with me," Andrik whispered.
Willetta's head cleared immediately and she
felt a sense of doom rush in on her as she realized
there was nothing remotely sensible she could say
to convince Andrik she and Martha should ride in
her car instead of his.
CHAPTER 39
Volume 1, pg.1 (February 1981):
"Maureen told
me to stay out of her business. She don't want
Stanley no more. She say Willetta is enough now
and she done let Stanley go. She say he can't be
two men at once. He still thinking that baby is
another man's baby."
#
Just as Willetta thought, Martha and Mr.
Ricky were waiting on the porch. She thanked God
that Andrik had not read the journals yet and didn't
know the full truth about those two. Willetta felt
sorry for both of them. When they realized Andrik
was in the car, the smiles on their faces vanished
and they looked resigned for a confrontation.
Willetta looked at Andrik as he sat behind
the steering wheel. His eyes narrowed dangerously
and his jaw clenched. "I don't believe this," His
voice sounded strangled.
"Andrik, please. He was drunk and he
thought Anita was someone else. She had on the
same coat as the other woman wore," she said
rapidly.
"Oh, so you've heard his excuses and
decided to believe him and forgive him for raping
my mother," he said with heated sarcasm.
"Andrik, nobody is asking you to forgive
him. If you can't do this, then take me back to get
my car. That man is seventy-six years old and
Martha is eighty. You can't be mean to them," she
pleaded.
"Relax, Willetta," he said soothingly. "I'm
not about to fall apart, here. I'm just not ready.
You should have told me," he said.
Willetta didn't wait to give him an answer.
As soon as she realized he was in control of his
emotions and there would be no scene, she got out
of the car. She walked up to the porch and saw the
distressed expressions on Martha and Mr. Ricky's
faces.
"It's okay. He's fine. Let's just get in the car
and say very little. I'm so sorry. I couldn't convince
him to go ahead without us," she said quickly.