Jennifer's Surrender (17 page)

Once in my
office, I dove into work, committing myself to delivering the best I could to
Bill and not thinking about Sir while I was here, as much as I could control
that. Ironically, work wasn’t just about work given that I was focused on the
Tutto account, so even if I could have ignored thoughts about Sir, everything I
was working on all kept coming back to my brilliant idea of ‘surrender’.

As the day got
going, and the deeper I dug into the campaign, the more naturally it started
flowing. All of the concepts, all of the ideas that were coming to me now felt
completely authentic and on target. I was actually able to tap into the feeling
that I now knew. It was no longer a theory or an idea. It was reality.

Greg was in my
office and we were going over things when he said, “Wow, Jen, I feel like you
don’t even need me here. You’re so into this idea, I feel like I can’t
contribute anything.”

 
“Don’t be silly, Greg. It’s a team
effort.” I didn’t want him to feel badly. “This account makes sense to me. I’m
sure the next one will probably be about motorcycles or football, and then
you’re going to be the guru and I’ll be way out of my depth.”

 
“Whatever you say.” He said and then
added, “So, um, you doin’ better? You seem a lot happier than last week.”

I laughed,
“Yeah, I’m better thanks. Must have been PMS or something.” I knew if I pulled
out the female card, that would be the end of that conversation.

 
“Oookaay, well then.” He said
uncomfortably. Then he added, “Hey, a few of us are going out to grab some
drinks after work. Wanna join?”

All I really
wanted to do was go home and sleep, but I thought it was a good idea not to put
all my eggs in Sir’s basket. Perhaps going out with ‘normal’ people would give
me a little balance take my mind off of him. “Yeah, that sounds great!”

 
“Cool.” He said simply and we got back to
work.

A group of
five of us ended up walking down the street to a local bar / coffee house /
book shop. It was me, Greg, another art director named Chris, Valerie who was
one of the account execs and Michael, a designer.

We had settled
into a table that had a clear view of the book store portion. Conversation was
mostly work-related until two women in their 40s were walking out of the book
shop, giggling, clutching
that
book
as they were obviously reading one of the steamier passages.

Greg said,
“What is it about that book? Seriously! It’s everywhere.” The other guys nodded
and I just stared into my cocktail. “Jen, Val, you’re girls, have
you
read it?”

Damn me and my
blushing. I knew I was bright red. “Oh My God Jen! You have read it!” Greg
accused.

 
“Well, jeez, Greg, me and 10 million
other people. It’s not like I’m some deviant. It’s part of the lexicon now…You
know, we have to keep up with pop culture and all. Know what’s trending.” I was
sounding lamer and lamer as I spoke.

Chris piped
in, “Yeah, sure Jen, trending. So it was just research to keep your finger on
the pulse of what’s current?”

I laughed,
“Exactly! Thank you, Chris!”

Then Michael
said, “I’m not embarrassed to say that I read it.” We all turned to him. “What?
If that’s what chicks want, I’m doing my duty as a red-blooded heterosexual man
to give it to them!” groans and laughs all around.

 
“Dude, seriously? Have you tried some of
the stuff in there? Do chicks like it?” Chris asked.

Michael got
cocky, “Haven’t gotten any complaints” and then he and Chris high fived. I
looked at Val and she rolled her eyes at me. I returned the look.

 
“So, like, is it all about whips and
chains and stuff?” Chris asked.

 
“Ok, guys, I don’t really want to hear
about what Michael does on his dates!” I interrupted, trying to head this
conversation off before it got any more detailed.

 
“You never know, Jen. You might learn a
thing or two.” Michael said.

 
“Thanks, Michael, but I’m good.”
If you only knew how good…

 
“Ok, but I’m just sayin’. I’ve put some
of the things to practice and it can be pretty hot.”

I could see
Chris and Greg hanging on his every word.

Val leaned
over and whispered in my ear, “these guys are so clueless.” I stifled my laugh
and nodded.

Michael kept
talking, “Dude, this one chick wanted me to—“

I cut him off
and said, “Ok, I’m going to take off. You guys can compare notes.”

 
“Chicken!” Michael said. I just shook my
head and rolled my eyes.

 
“Yep, that must be it. All right
everyone, I’ll see you tomorrow.” I tossed some cash down onto the table and
started to leave.

 
“Hey, I’m sorry, Jen. I wasn’t trying to
make you uncomfortable. Stay, I promise I’ll stop talking about it.” Michael
said.

 
“No worries. I’m just not comfortable
talking about sex with my co-workers. That’s all. And, I wanted to get to sleep
early anyway.”

 
“Hold up, I’m coming.” Val said and we
both made our way out of the bar. Once outside she said, “Thank you for
stopping Michael’s play-by-play. I wasn’t sure I’d be able to keep my drink
down if I heard any more.” I laughed. Val and I weren’t especially close, but
she always had seemed nice enough.

 
“No kidding. The last thing I want is to
talk about sex with people I work with. Hello, boundaries people!” I said and
we both laughed. We talked about random things the rest of the way back to the
office. After we said our goodbyes, and once I was in my car, I laughed at
myself for talking about boundaries knowing how I had given up pretty much all
boundaries with Sir.

I was
comforted though that ‘I am a submissive and doing all kinds of kinky things’ wasn’t
plastered on my forehead. Keeping work and my relationship with Sir separate
helped me feel some sense of balance or normalcy. And when it came to what I
felt with him, normal or balance weren’t usually two words that came to mind.

Little did I
know that this separation of church and state would be so short lived.

Buoyed by the
fact that I would be seeing Sir on Wednesday, getting through the first few
days at work was much more manageable this week. I embraced the power that I
had, as Creative Director, and used it to remind myself that I wasn’t weak. I
chose to submit to Sir, but that didn’t have to define who I was in other parts
of my life.

It was 6pm and
I still hadn’t heard from him. I wanted to call, but once again knew that it
wasn’t my place. I really didn’t like this aspect of the relationship. Waiting
for him to call when he was ready, leaving me in the dark. There were other
ways that the anticipation made the payoff better, but this wasn’t one of them.
I focused on my work and resolved that I wouldn’t think about it because there
wasn’t anything I could do about it. He would call when he would call.

I had my
headphones on as I was listening to a TV spot on my computer. Since Bill didn’t
like closed doors, we typically watched spots this way so that the whole office
didn’t have to hear them play over and over as we made edits.

I think I must
have literally jumped when I realized that Sir was standing in the doorway. A
slow smile crept over his face and I knew I was blushing as I fumbled removing
the headphones.

 
“Hi, um, hi.” I said lamely. I didn’t
know what to call him here at work. Stephen sounded weird, and would probably
upset him, but calling him Sir in front of my coworkers?

 
“Hi yourself. You seem jumpy, little
bird.” His smile was so carnal, so mischievous.

 
“I wasn’t expecting you. I mean, I knew”
then I hushed my voice, “I knew I’d be seeing you tonight, I just didn’t know
you’d be coming to my office.” And then I added for good measure, since I was
whispering, “Sir.”

I was feeling
like a little girl. My heart was pounding, I was flustered. I was blushing. I
was grinning…

He took a seat
in front of my desk. “I wanted to see you at work. Plus, I wanted to start our
evening out here.”

 
“Sir?” Now I was nervous. He had a plan.

 
“Take off your bra and panties.” He said
calmly. I was reminded that he really didn’t do small talk or beat around the
bush.

I started to
get up to go to the bathroom and he said, “Take them off here, right there, behind
your desk.”

 
“Ok, I’ll just close the door.” I said
shakily.

 
“If I wanted the door closed, I would
have closed it myself.”

 
“What if someone comes in?”

 
“They’ll see you undressing in front of
me, which is very, very unprofessional, deserving of punishment, I’d say. So it
would behoove you to get them off quickly and without much fuss, wouldn’t it?”
he raised one eyebrow, challenging me. I worried that if I didn’t do it, the
evening would not go well. And I reminded myself, he wants this, so I just need
to do it.

There was
something so wrong, so naughty about this. But mostly, it was sexy as hell to
me. It turned me on.

I listened to
see if I could hear footsteps and at the moment, the coast was clear. Luckily,
I was wearing a sleeveless blouse, so it would be easy to slide the bra straps
out the arm holes. And I had a sweater to wear when we walked out, so I was
safe. I reached back and unclasped it, maintaining eye contact with him.
Feeling it slide down, I paused, listening again, and then quickly slipped one
strap off and then the other. He held out his hand and I looked at him
quizzically. He wanted my bra? Ok. I handed it to him, suddenly aware of my
breasts moving under me. I swallowed as I watched him tuck it into his jacket
pocket. Then he raised his eyebrows, as if to say “and your panties?”

These were
going to be much more difficult as I was wearing jeans. As quickly as possible,
I slid off my pumps, then pants and underwear off all in one quick move. I knew
my breasts were swaying with the bouncing and assumed he was enjoying the show.
Separating my panties, I pulled my jeans back on as quickly as possible. As I
was mid zip I heard footsteps coming towards the office and quickly finished
buttoning them. I shoved the panties in between my legs and scooted my chair in
just as Bill walked into my office. I knew I was bright red.

 
“Looks like the client’s checking up on
you, Jen.” Bill said, smiling. All I could think was, oh my God he can probably
see that I’m not wearing a bra. I knew my nipples were hard, and my blouse was
silk. There was no hiding them. Or my flushed cheeks.

I tried to
regain my composure and said, “Yes, what a nice surprise.”

Then Sir said,
“Come, have a seat Bill.” I couldn’t believe what he was doing. He knew what
Bill would see. And I knew I was helpless to stop it. So I relaxed, took a deep
breath and thought, they’re just breasts. I’m sure Bill has seen them before…
not mine, but someone’s.

 
“How’s my campaign coming along, Jennifer?”
Sir asked me.

 
“Um, good, good. I was just watching one
of the launch spots when you walked in.” I gestured towards my computer screen.
“It’s still rough, but would you like to see it, since you’re here?” I turned
my screen towards them. If they focus on the screen, they won’t be looking at
my boobs, I rationalized.

 
“Would love to. But can you close the
blinds? It’s a bit glary.” Sir said. This meant that I had to stand up and move
and reach. As calmly as possible I stood, having forgotten about the panties in
between my legs. They fell to the ground, though it was likely no one saw since
they were beneath the desk. I turned and reached for the string to lower the
blinds. I knew that, as I did, the light from the window probably shone through
my blouse giving both of them a clear view of the shape of my breasts as I
reached up, completely profile to them. I turned to look over my shoulder and
both sets of eyes were very much on me. I should have been unnerved, but I was
turned on. I actually felt powerful, knowing that both of these men were
completely focused, and I assumed, turned on, by me. Yes, it was unprofessional
and I should have been embarrassed. But the feelings that Sir was awakening in
me made me feel lust, made me feel sexy.

I lowered the
blinds slowly, letting both of them get their full view. The die was cast.
There was no point in rushing through this and risking upsetting Sir. If this
is what he wanted, then I would give it to him. I did the same to the second
window, and then, when I sat down, instead of lowering myself slowly, I
actually plopped down, knowing my tits bounced and jiggled. If Bill hadn’t
noticed before, he certainly did now. I looked at Sir and saw a satisfied
smile, which I returned, then I hit the space bar and played the spot.

After it played
through, I asked, “Did you like what you saw?” fully aware of the double
entendre. He smiled again.

 
“Very much so, Jennifer. I appreciated
the show.” Sir said, his eyes not leaving mine.

 
“Yes, thank you, Jen. Everything looks
great.” Bill said in the same low voice that he had used Monday morning. Then
he got up, shook Sir’s hand and said, “I’ve got some things to wrap up. Good
seeing you, Stephen.” He gave me one last look as he walked out.

Once he left,
Sir looked at me and said, “You seemed to enjoy that.”

 
“I shouldn’t have, but yes, I did.”

 
“Why did you do it?” he asked.