JACE (Lane Brothers Book 3) (2 page)

“Stay away from Ronny, Tracy. You have no idea what that woman is capable of,” he says, turning back to give me another look.

“I don’t care. Stay away from me, Jason, and for God’s sake, leave Ronny alone. Your family has given her enough grief as it is.”

I close the door with a sigh, ignoring that look of hurt and betrayal he throws me.

The ticket to finally being done with this mess is staring me right in the face, and I’ll do what I have to to get it.

No matter how much it hurts to be here with the man I let go of a long time ago. Or how much it’ll hurt to have to see the family I left behind.

Jace

She’s getting married.

That’s all I’ve thought about since the words left her lips, all I could focus on while she spouted that bullshit about me never loving her and changing her and…

Is that what Trace thinks? That I changed her and came away dissatisfied with the end result? The truth is so far from the filth she just hurled at me that I’m still reeling and struggling to wrap my head around it all.

Tracy Mayfield was the one bright, shiny thing I’ve ever allowed myself to have in this life I chose to build. My job is not what many would call aboveboard, and for this reason I decided a long time ago to cut all ties and just do what I need to do to serve my country.

This is the longest stretch I’ve had at home in years, and only because I refuse to leave until this mess with the family is cleared up. After that, it’ll be back to long, sleepless nights tracking the worst that humanity has to offer and rescuing hostages in countries most people don’t even know exist.

That is my life.

I have no room for long family holidays spent…what am I saying? Of course there’s room for all that shit, and even, dare I say it, a family of my own.

I just only recently came to understand this when my father collapsed from a heart attack and almost left us. Life is way too short to give up on the things that make us happy.

And, well, I just admitted to myself that part of the reason I cut and ran with Trace was that I was afraid of everything I felt for her. Imagine being this badass, shadow assassin who spends his life running around the globe taking out the worst of the worst and just not giving a fuck really.

Now imagine being that badass tough guy and meeting a girl who was so bright and perfect but for the gilded cage she seemed to exist in. Trace was always just as I wanted her to be, except she wasn’t allowing herself to live an actual life outside the shit her father allowed her to do.

So I pursued her and spent a long time trying to awaken the butterfly I saw struggling to emerge from the smothering cocoon she existed in, and Trace was wonderful once she started loosening up and living….

I’ve never been that happy, and I probably would have gotten over the fear I felt every second of the day, knowing that she was mine and that I was responsible for every aspect of her existence, if not for the call I got from my commanding officer to let me know that my time was up.

In my line of work, I could go for months from one mission to the next, never getting any downtime. Then they insist that we take a few weeks, even months to relax and unwind from the shit we’d see.

One of those rare times was when I spotted Tracy Mayfield standing across from me in a ballroom, surrounded by other women who were just as trapped and stuck as she was.

I saw something else in Trace, though, something crying out to the man in me. I won’t deny her beauty, either, because the woman is gorgeous.

What red-blooded male wouldn’t take a look at her and not be interested with all that silky brown hair and eyes the color of frosted blue jewels. She’s gorgeous and sexy and a million other things that my young heart couldn’t ignore.

Add to that equation the fact that she was pure and untouched and I felt like I hit the jackpot. And I did, I knew it then just as I know it now. Tracy Mayfield is my match in every way.

So, here I sit, in my car, watching her pace her living room, and all I can think about is the fact that I made a huge mistake letting her go instead of just ensconcing her in my family home where she would have been perfectly content to wait for me to come home.

She’s getting married.

Goddammit, how the hell am I supposed to convince myself to stay away from her after I get her to bring her father in on this if my inner beast keeps roaring at me?

The simple answer is that I can’t. If I’m honest here, I’d admit that it was probably too late for her or myself the minute she landed back in my neck of the woods.

I should have seen that this obsession I have has nothing to do with getting to her father and the intel he can provide, and that it’s all about wanting another shot at the woman I’ve never forgotten.

She’s getting married, asshole!

The thought is in my head, playing on a loop every few seconds, and it’s all I can do not to storm back into her house and tell her that I’d kill the man she tried to marry before I’d let that happen.

It was fine thinking that she was still free and available, that I could get another shot anytime I wanted—maybe when I finally pulled my head out of my ass.

But now, knowing that some other dick thinks he has a shot at what’s mine…no fucking way in hell.

“Bro, what’s up?” Jared asks, answering my call after one ring.

“She’s engaged, man. She’s getting married.”

Jared is my best friend, the one guy I can count on to pull me back from the edge and help me whenever the darkness that I carry around threatens to overwhelm me.

He and Miah are SEALs and into some black ops shit that makes them practically invisible to the world. I went the same route but chose a different unit in the beginning, believing that separating myself from the men who are more my brothers than cousins would release the last anchors I had to the life I didn’t want to live.

Two years in and I ended up there anyway after my unit took a direct hit from enemy fire and half of us made it out in body bags, or worse—injured but alive to relive the nightmare of that night.

Jared helped me get through some of the worst shit imaginable, and while I do not suffer from PTSD, thanks to the training and psych evals, I went through a rough patch with survivor’s guilt.

Now, after many long nights spent talking and just baring my soul to him, Jared is the only one I trust to have my back. Not that Wyatt, Miah, or Roman aren’t my brothers or anything, but Jared, the mean asshole, is my go-to in times like these when I feel that darkness start creeping up out of the box I shoved it into.

“Jace, bro, do not do anything stupid, man. Just breathe with me and talk to me, alright?” he says slowly, almost making me smile despite that emotions coursing through me.

“I went in and…she’s here to see that bitch Ronny and talk about wedding stuff. She’s getting married.”

I keep saying the words but it still feels like this is some sort of sick joke or something, and that’s the worst part—I know it isn’t. I should be happy for her knowing that she moved on and didn’t hurt for too long after I dropped her, and yet all I feel is betrayal and the need to start ripping shit apart right now.

Doesn’t she know that she’s…

She can’t be mine, though, can she? I shouldn’t even be thinking that way because I no longer believe in that kind of love. Sure, I grew up with love and can even appreciate it in my brothers and my parents, but not for me. The things that I’ve seen were all about hate and the need to destroy.

Show a man enough of that filth and it makes you realize that the world is a sick place and that love is too fragile to trust. I know what love is; I just don’t want it clouding my judgement.

“Jace, stop grinding your teeth. I can hear it through the phone, dude. Okay, so…”

I hear the clicking of keys before he lets out a low whistle and a string of curses that would blister my ears if I weren’t such a hardened ass myself.

“Dude, this guy…” Jared breathes after a long pause and some more cursing.

“What, man? Tell me,” I bark, gripping the steering wheel so hard, my knuckles pop.

“Jace…this guy is squeaky fucking clean, man. He’s like the poster boy for the perfect son-in-law. Says here he’s fast-tracking his way into the political arena and has the support of Mayfield, himself. Harvard grad, a clean record, and shit, man, he even volunteers at shelters and runs marathons to raise money for charity.”

“There’s got to be something.”

I’m basically praying right now because it’ll be hard to justify killing an innocent man who helps the poor just to get him out of the picture. I’m okay with offing some dick who steals from the needy and uses his wealth to trample on others. I probably wouldn’t even blink at ridding the world of another crooked politician, but a good boy is so rare that I’d think twice about it.

Shit. Goddammit. I hate the guy already and all he’s done so far is have the balls to want to marry my girl.

“Jace.”

“Don’t. Don’t you say it, Jared,” I warn, closing my eyes against the onslaught of the pain I felt years ago.

“Jace, come on, bro, you have to let this go. Please. I was there when you decided that your career and the life you wanted was not one you could offer Trace. I was there when you used to sneak into her house late at night and watch her cry herself to sleep. I was there when you’d chase meaningless tail and then drink yourself to sleep after. I remember how long it took for you to finally let go, man, and I remember how hard that was for you.”

“Shut the hell up, Jared.”

“Nah, man, listen. I know that she was always the one, I fucking saw enough of your pain to know that she was it even when you set out to hurt her. She’s happy now, bro, so just—”

“What, Jared? Let her go? What happens if Ronny does something to her to get back at us? What if—”

“You’re grasping at straws here and you know it, Jace. Tracy has been pals with Veronica and Paulie for years. She’s perfectly safe and you know it. You’re just looking for excuses to justify taking her when you know it’s wrong. She’s engaged, man. Taken.”

“She’s mine!”

Do I know that going in and fucking up whatever she has with this guy is a bad idea? Yeah, I’m not an idiot, of course I know that I’m being a prick.

The thing is I do not care, not one little bit.

I’ve worked for years to keep thoughts of her out of my mind, out of this beating lump in my chest. Some days it was a struggle just to fly through DC without stopping over to see her again.

I know that I left her hanging, that I basically broke her young heart without a thought to how it would affect her life, but I also know that whoever she’s engaged to is some rich little asshole her daddy chose for her.

My gut is screaming at me that whoever this guy is is someone my Trace would never go for. I know this because I just so happen to be her exact brand, and I am one of a fucking kind.

Whatever she’s fixing to do, whatever choice she’s made or allowed her folks to make for her is the wrong one, and the nice sort of guy that I am, I think I’ll make it my business to rescue her from that folly.

“Jason. Whatever it is you’re preparing to do, get that shit right out of your head now, man,” Jared barks, making the smile that’s spreading across my face go dental in its intensity.

Oh yeah, I think I just drew a line in the sand for little Miss Mayfield, soon-to-be Mrs. Lane, and I like it. A lot.

“Jared, remember when you had that talk with Wyatt and he told you to stay away from the innocent little Paulie Hayes?” I ask, grinning when I hear his teeth start grinding.

Oh yeah, I remember the look on Jared’s face when his older brother told him to stay away from a woman he won’t claim but watches like a freaking hawk watches a field mouse.

My brother looked like he was getting ready to start ripping heads off, and that’s before he admitted to me that he was as afraid of Paulie wanting him as he was of her not wanting him.

“That’s different.”

“Yeah? How?” I ask, narrowing my eyes when the lights in Trace’s house go off and I see her silhouette in the bedroom window.

“Well, for starters, I never broke her heart. For another, I have absolutely no intention of claiming Paulette Hayes,” he snarls, making me chuckle silently beneath my breath.

“Dude, you’re fighting a losing battle here. Take it from me, a man who, not even an hour ago, was flying high on the knowledge that I was going to use Trace to get to Senator Mayfield and then walk away, clean and clear.” I laugh, feeling a million times lighter.

It’s funny what an epiphany will do for a guy, and even funnier to acknowledge that my own epiphany came on the heels of some other guy marking my territory.

Jared curses and lets out a long sigh that makes me laugh harder.

“Just don’t get arrested, you asshole, and for the love of God, do not take a leaf out of Wyatt’s handbook. Kidnapping is against the law and not all women are as cool as our Ellie. Oh, and FYI, no matter how invaluable you may be to Uncle Sam, fucking with a senator’s only kid is not a good idea.”

“Like I give a good damn. You ever met Mayfield? He’s an asshole, and the only reason I didn’t beat his ass years ago was because Trace loves him.”

“What about your big bad plan to squeeze him about the leak in the unit?” Jared growls, reminding me of what’s at stake here.

As much as I’m focused on Trace and my plans to ruin her engagement and keep her away from Ronny, I can’t forget my mission, which is not only to expose the heads of this homegrown extremist militia that’s been planting bombs in some of our biggest cities and planning a coup of our government—if rumor is to be believed—but also to weed out the rot in some of our major military echelons.

“I’ll get to Mayfield, and I will get what it is we need without alerting the rat inside our unit. I just need to ensure that my girl is safe before we start digging any deeper.”