It Had to Be Him (33 page)

She was an idiot. Josh was no different from every other guy who’d hurt her.

“Meg, listen—”

She poked him in the chest. “So how many other women have you charmed into bed with that trick? Did you get any of them pregnant and then leave them too?” A thought sent a hard punch to Meg’s gut. “For God’s sake, please don’t tell me you’re married!”

“No. I’m not married.” Josh closed his eyes and ran his hand down his face. “And I don’t have any other children. After I joined the agency, I never slept with anyone who wasn’t a fellow agent. Until you.”

“Yeah, about that! Why did that woman think your name was Sam? You obviously slept with her too. Who are you lying to, Josh? Her or me?”

“The only person at the agency who knew my real name was
my boss, Watts, the man you saw inside. Everyone else knew me as Sam Coulter. Call the FBI’s main number and ask for Watts. He’ll answer any questions you have.”

Meg crossed her arms, swallowing back her angry tears. “Why bother? He’ll probably just lie to me too. So was any of what you told me about your past even real?”

“Most of it.”

“So you went to college, but didn’t work as a programmer? You joined the FBI when you graduated?”

“Yeah. My specialty was extracting the truth from all levels of scumbags. I’m good at knowing when people are lying. I was so immersed in that filth I had no outside life and was losing it. I needed a break. That’s why they assigned me to this case.”

“So did you . . . torture people to get the truth?” She wasn’t sure she really wanted to know, but needed to ask.

“Not physically. But psychologically . . . yeah.” He looked away.

She didn’t know him at all. “I don’t understand why you couldn’t have just said something like ‘I work for the government and can’t discuss it, but I need to leave for your safety.’ I believed all your other lies. I certainly would have believed that statement too!”

He shook his head. “Undercover doesn’t work that way, Meg. An innocent slipup on your part could endanger others’ lives. It’s a strict no-tell policy we all live by.”

“So, when you asked me to move in with you, it was just for the case? To make it easier to check up on me, or to see if I talk in my sleep?”

“No. I asked you to move in because I fell in love with you.”

She stared into his eyes, searching for the truth—but that was pointless. The man lied so well it’d do no good. “How could you sleep with me again, knowing you’d be sending my father to jail
soon, Josh? He and I have our differences, but he’s still the man who raised me. As someone who grew up with no family, maybe you can’t understand, but that’s a deeper betrayal than even all the lies you’ve told me. Pack your things and leave.”

When she turned to walk away, he said softly, “That’s not entirely true, Meg.”

She stopped walking, but wouldn’t look him in the eye. She couldn’t. It hurt too much. “Then what is?”

“I’m not the one sending your dad to jail. I told Watts I couldn’t investigate your father the night I met you. I have no idea what they have on him. I haven’t wanted to know. If you’d like me to find out, I’ll do anything I can to help.”

He laid his big hands on her shoulders, gently turning her around to face him. “I’m sorry, Meg. For every single lie I’ve told you. I’ll never lie to you again. But we have a deal. I get to stay until the end of summer.”

“The only thing I’ve ever asked of you was not to lie to me. So our deal is null and void. We’re done. I want you out of my house and out of Anderson Butte.”

“If I could have told you the truth I would have.” He slowly slid his hands from her shoulders and took a step back. “I love you, Meg. But I’ll move my and Eric’s things out of the lodge. And I’ll take the dogs.” He turned to leave.

She called out to his retreating back. “Eric and the dogs can stay. I’ll sign whatever papers I have to for his guardianship.”

He stopped walking and faced her. “What about Haley? I need to be part of her life.”

Meg bit her lip, struggling to hold it together. How was Haley going to react to all of this? She loved Josh. “I don’t know yet. I have to think about that. But not right now. With my dad being arrested and now you being . . . it’s just too much at once. Just leave!”

Fighting back a sob, Meg went back inside the church to get the kids. Everyone was gone except for Zeke. “Where’d everyone go?”

“Your grandma took the kids to her house and said to take your time.”

Meg slumped down into the front pew and held her head in her hands. Zeke slipped beside her and sat quietly.

Every new so-called fact buzzed around inside her head, clashing with each of the lies Josh had told her. If she believed in signs, they’d all be pointing to the highway and back to Denver, away from Amber, the people in this town who judged her, her father, and away from Josh and his maze of lies.

“I can’t take much more, Zeke. It’s tempting to pack up and go.”

“I’d sure hate to see you leave. Especially now that the cat’s out of the bag about you being my favorite niece. You belong here, Meggy. And you deserve to be happy. I’ve never seen you happier than you’ve been with Josh these past few weeks.”

“You were my favorite uncle even before I knew you were my real one. But how can I live with a man like that? He’s a trained agent who can look me in the eye and sell me a pack of lies. How do I even know he’s telling me the truth now?”

“You don’t. And I guess you never will. If you want him, you’ll have to learn to let go of all your mistrust and give him the benefit of the doubt.” He gave her hand a quick squeeze and then stood. “I’ve got a carburetor calling my name. Take some time to cool off. Nothing has to be decided today. But if it matters to you, I still trust him.”

Zeke walked slowly down the long aisle and through the back doors. After they closed with a loud thud behind him, Meg sat alone in the silent church, afraid to ask what else could possibly go wrong in her life.

Josh drove around the lake to gather his things from the lodge. His knuckles whitened on the steering wheel. Fury, not only at the situation, but also at himself for failing, burned in his gut. She loved him, he’d seen it in her eyes. But maybe love wasn’t enough? Meg’s distrust of people already ran deep, and he hadn’t helped. Had he betrayed her trust one too many times?

He needed a new plan. But what could he say or do to fix what he’d done?

It might just take some time to win back Meg’s love, and he’d do whatever it took to keep Haley and Eric in his life. He’d not fail there.

When he pulled into the drive, Ryan waited on the front steps of Meg’s house.

Great. That’s all he needed.

“Watts filled me in.” Ryan stood and crossed his arms. “But I still have some questions, Granger.”

Josh nodded. “You can ask while I pack. Meg wants me out right away.”

“Can you blame her?”

“Nope.” He led the way to the master bedroom.

He grabbed his duffel from the closet and threw it on the bed. The letter he’d written to Meg the day he’d broken up with her was still taped to the bottom of the bag. Wouldn’t much matter after what happened earlier. Meg knew the truth now.

He ripped the envelope out and tossed it into the trash can by the door.

Ryan leaned against the wall, silently watching as Josh packed his things. He expected Ryan to lash out, but his voice was steady when he said, “Meg has a thing about people keeping the truth from her. She’d always wondered about our mother when she was a kid and hated when no one in town would talk about her. She
didn’t understand they were keeping the promise they all made to my dad. No one wanted to risk retaliation.”

Josh stopped packing. “Retaliation?” Ryan hadn’t said that many words since Josh had met him. He hoped he wouldn’t stop now.

Ryan shrugged. “My dad convinced everyone years ago the only way for our small town to thrive was to provide a place for celebrities to come where they could have complete privacy. The town was on the verge of bankruptcy, so Dad made everyone promise we’d never go to the rags or alert the paparazzi. In order to have a retirement fund and net profits, we had to sign the ‘pact.’ It’s a profit-sharing corporation. But my dad has all the power. He controls the land, the buildings, and all the money. So far, everyone has stuck to it because while so many small towns are failing, ours is thriving. Anderson Butte wouldn’t still be here if not for Dad’s business smarts. Everyone knows it. So when he
asks
for a favor, they don’t go against him. Never have.”

Josh grunted. “I
knew
that was Jim Carrey.”

Ignoring that, Ryan said, “Didn’t help that Dad was always extra hard on Meg. She never understood why.”

“Because he’s not her father?” Josh stuffed the rest of his shirts into the bag.

“Partly. But mostly because she’s a lot like our mother was. But we’ve all noticed a real change in Meg since she’s been back this time. Maybe even since she’s had Haley.”

“Meg’s the same person I’ve always known. She’s a great mother.” Josh only hoped he’d be as good a father to Haley.

“Speaking of Haley, what are your intentions there?”

The challenge dug at Josh. He met Ryan’s gaze, unflinching. “To be her father. Meg asked me to leave, but I’m not going far.”

Josh crossed to the bathroom and grabbed his dopp kit. When he returned, he found Ryan settled on the edge of the bed, looking like he’d gone ten rounds. “That’s what she’d expect you to
do. Leave her while she pretends it doesn’t matter to her—like the others have.”

“Others?” Meg kept her past as close to her chest as he did.

“Meg’s track record with men isn’t great. It started with Randy, who ran off with Amber, and it just got worse from there. I wanted to beat the crap outta each and every one of them.”

“Me included?”

“You most of all. You got her pregnant and
then
ran off on her.” Ryan’s hand balled into a fist before he shook his head and relaxed his fingers again. “My dad convinced Meg she’s not worth loving or something. No one’s ever fought for her.”

“I’d like to
beat the crap
out of your father for that.” Josh tugged the zipper closed on his duffel and looked around one last time for anything he might have missed. “So I should stay, even though she asked me to go?”

“Yeah. But you didn’t hear that from me.”

“Would I be wasting my time asking Casey for a room?”

One side of Ryan’s mouth quirked up. “Casey will take Meg’s side. But you could beg and come clean. Then, maybe . . .” Ryan stood. “Can you help me decipher some of these federal charges against my father? My dad can be a real SOB, but he’s not tech savvy enough to pull something like that off. I’d like your help to prove it.”

Josh hadn’t gotten a guilty vibe from the mayor during the arrest. And he trusted his instincts . . . with most everything but Meg. The Duncan lady was going to jail for a long time. Watts would give Josh’s opinion weight. “Let me see about a place to stay, then I’ll make a few phone calls. Catch up with you at your office?”

“Yeah.” Ryan stood and held out his hand. “Appreciate it.”

“No problem.” Josh returned the shake.

As they walked out together, Ryan pointed at Josh’s bag. “Besides your truck, is that really all you own?”

“Nope.” Josh cranked his truck’s door open. “I have a registered gun, and those two dogs in the pen over there. See you later.”

Josh drove to the other side of the lake and pulled up to the hotel. He left his bag in the truck. It’d be a tough sell to get Casey to agree to let him have a room. He might have to stay at the hotel fifteen miles down the road, but he wasn’t going any farther away than that. Hopefully Zeke would still let him keep his job.

He wouldn’t be like the other guys who left Meg, but if she couldn’t love him back, he’d stay for Haley and Eric’s sake. Even if it’d kill him to see Meg every day, knowing he could never have her.

When the lobby doors swished open, someone he hadn’t met stood behind the front desk. She smiled and said, “Hi. May I help you?”

“Looking for Casey?”

“She’s in her office.”

“Thanks.” Josh made his way down the long hall, then tapped a knuckle on her doorjamb.

She had her eyes closed and was rubbing at her temples. When Casey looked up, she sighed. “Go away, Granger. Haven’t you done enough damage for one day?”

“You all lied to Meg for her own good. I did the same.” He held his hand out toward the chair in front of her desk, silently asking permission to sit.

When Casey rolled her eyes, he took that as a yes and settled in. “I love Meg and Haley, Casey. I was just doing my job. And I’m going to help your brother prove your dad’s innocence. Will you let me explain? Please?”

She leaned back in her chair and crossed her arms. “You get five minutes. Go!”