Finally, clasping his hands awkwardly behind his back, he said quietly, “We need to talk.”
She looked briefly at his face. “Agreed.” With a glance over her shoulder at the others trying hard not to stare at them, she said more loudly, “I suggest we borrow Rufus’s study. I believe you know the way.” At his nod of agreement, she calmly walked out of the room.
Her dark crimson and gold skirts floated behind her. Richard could not help but remember the day he’d saved her from the Chesterton bullies at this very estate. That day seemed so long ago now. However, he remembered he’d told her that one day he’d be protecting her for another reason—even then he knew she’d be a beauty. And now she would be his.
His body reacted as Maddy squeezed past him. Her scent of lilies filled his nostrils. She looked as delicate and as beautiful as the flowers she loved. With a growing realization, he acknowledged that she’d become a stunningly beautiful woman. As they waited for a footman to light several candelabras about the room, Richard studied his bride-to-be, and thought how his situation could be so much worse. Not only was she beautiful, but she was also an extremely desirable woman. If he couldn’t marry Sarah, then Madeline was an excellent second best.
He took the chair opposite her and smiled. Richard waited for the footman to close the door, and then said, “Who would ever have thought we’d find ourselves in this—situation.”
She played with the edges of her skirt. “I’m sorry.” She raised pleading eyes to him. “You don’t know how sorry I am for putting you in this position.”
The troubled sound of her voice pierced his soul. “It wasn’t your fault, Maddy. I am to blame.”
She seemed not to have heard him. “I’ve hurt so many people. God, Rufus… and after everything he’s done with his life to restore the Strathmore name and I then taint us again.”
Richard watched a tear slide down her cheek. He moved to kneel at her feet, taking her tiny hands in his. “Don’t cry, Maddy,” he uttered helplessly. “It will be all right. We will be all right.”
“Isn’t there some other way?” she cried anxiously. “I know you have no wish to marry me.”
“If I could think of another option, I would. We must face the fact that we have little choice but to marry.” He gave her hands a squeeze. “Is that so terrible? Am I such a monster?”
She shook her head. “I feel so guilty.” She pressed a fist against her mouth to stifle a sob. “You’re trapped.”
He hugged her. “Hush there, Maddy. Feeling sorry for ourselves does us no good. We can’t go back. We can only go forward—together.”
She pushed out of his arms and sat up straight. “You’re right. Feeling sorry for myself, for you, won’t change anything.”
Richard moved back to his seat. “That’s my girl. Are you feeling up to discussing our situation?”
“I’m quite composed now, thank you.”
He nodded. “Good.” Sitting forward in his chair, he leaned his elbows on his knees and cupped his chin in his hands. Earnestly he spoke. “I will try to make the next few days as painless as possible for you. The wedding will take place here at Hascombe, in two days’ time.”
“So soon?”
“Rufus thinks that is best.”
“My brother is probably happy to see me wed and off his hands. Now he can have Rheda all to himself.”
Richard sighed. “That’s a bit mean, Mads. Rufus loves you and is only thinking of your reputation.”
“You must think me very ungrateful.”
“Not at all. You forget I know you very well. I’ve watched you grow into a beautiful young woman.” He heard her breath catch.
“Beautiful?”
He chuckled. “I remember telling you many years ago that one day I’d have to protect you from the males of the species. I just didn’t think it would be me.”
A gorgeous flush raced up her décolleté, but a frown clouded her lovely features.
“Hmmm, that leads me onto a question.” He watched her fidget.
This couldn’t be good.
“Go on. You know you can always ask me anything. Nothing will change our friendship. I won’t let it,” he added sternly.
“That’s part of the problem. Friendship. I am rather curious about how our relationship will be after we marry.”
“I suspect it will be much the same as it is now.”
Her pinkish flush turned into a full on blush. “Umm, I’m not sure you fully understand my concern. We will be husband and wife…Will you expect us to behave as such?”
Richard let a wolfish smile envelop his lips. “Are you referring to the fact that you will have to share my bed? I’m sure I’ll cope, Mads. I have had a bit of experience in this area.”
She raised an eyebrow. “
A bit?”
He had to laugh at her affronted response. That’s what he loved about his relationship with Maddy. They had always been able to talk about
anything.
His laughter died away. He hoped their marriage would not change that. “I know you. You’re not one to hide your thoughts from me. What is it you’re really concerned about?”
Her eyes became pleading. “I want children. I want a lot of children.”
Richard shrugged. “I still do not grasp the problem.”
“You won’t expect the marriage to be in name only then.”
“Bloody hell. Where on earth did you get that idea? I suspect we will live as most husbands and wives do.”
She sat up straighter and looked him in the eye. “I don’t want to be bedded out of obligation or duty-”
“You think I’d bed you because you’re an obligation? A beautiful woman like you? Come now, Maddy. You know me better than that.” She remained silent.
Where in God’s name would she have got this absurd notion?
“You’re very desirable. Bedding you will be no obligation. It will be my pleasure.
Our
mutual pleasure.”
“Mother and Rheda have already told me I’ll have nothing to worry about on my wedding night. That I should leave everything to you and that no doubt I’ll enjoy your attentions.” She wrung her hands. “But you mentioned that our marriage will be like most other marriages. What if I don’t please
you
?”
“Please me? As in the bedroom?”
She nodded seriously.
“I taught you how to shoot and ride astride. You’re better than most men I know. You’re a fast learner. How can you not please me when you’ll have the best teacher?” he hoped his teasing tone would allay her fears.
“I know your heart belongs to another. What if… what if you grow tired of bedding me?” She raised a hand at his sound of outrage. “Promise me one thing.”
“Mads, you are being silly.”
“I know your reputation, Richard. You have enjoyed a lot of women. I don’t see how I’ll hold a man of your—appetites—interested when I don’t own your heart. Promise me that when you no longer enjoy my bed that you’ll tell me. I couldn’t bear to hear from anyone else that you’ve taken a mistress. The one thing I’ve treasured most in our friendship is the fact you’ve never lied to me, or hidden the truth from me—even if the subject was unpleasant. Rufus would most likely want to skin you alive if he knew some of the things I’ve asked, and you’ve answered, with no hesitation. Being stuck in the country, growing up alone, I can’t tell you what your honesty meant to me. It gave me the world even if I couldn’t see it, or be a part of it.”
“I’ll show you the world if you’ll let me.”
She drew in a quick breath. “Swear to me that we will always be honest with each other, no matter how difficult our lives become.”
Richard was about to vehemently deny that he would ever take a lover but he couldn’t. He thought about the women he’d had relationships with and how those intense feelings had never lasted. He wanted to promise that he’d never take a mistress or another lover, but he’d never once lied to Maddy and he refused to start their marriage on lies. He didn’t know if he’d be strong enough to honor his word.
She continued. “The one thing I alone among the female population have shared with you is your enduring friendship—as well as respect and trust. Don’t let our marriage put that in jeopardy. I can live with many things, but not losing my best friend. That, more than anything, would cut me to my core.”
Their marriage would change everything. She was right. How had he thought it wouldn’t? She was wrong about one thing though. He did love her. He just wasn’t
in
love with her. He hoped one day he would love Maddy like Anthony loved Melissa. Maddy deserved that. He silently vowed he would try to give her his heart and he hoped the organ that beat in his chest would stay true.
“Will you promise me?” she asked softly. “In this marriage, I have the most to lose for I could lose you. I don’t have many friends.”
He rose and moved to her chair and pulled her up into his arms. “I won’t let that happen, Maddy. I swear I will never lie to you. And Maddy, please remember, I will never knowingly hurt you. I will try to be an honorable husband and father. That’s the best I can promise.”
She sighed and hugged him back tightly. “Thank you.”
They stood holding each other. He rested his chin on her head. “You do realize our relationship is bound to change. We are going to become more intimate with each other and not just in the physical sense. We will be sharing a life together—children, family…I’m hoping we will grow closer, because I too value your friendship.
He wanted a marriage that was bearable. He’d always hoped he’d marry for love, because he never wanted a cold business-like arrangement so often found within the
ton
. Marrying Maddy was close enough. She would be a wonderful wife and mother. He’d never have to be concerned that she’d do anything to dishonor him.
“We’ll make this work, Maddy. We both have too much to lose if we don’t.” She looked up and smiled at him shyly. He wanted to kiss her, but he was unsure of Maddy’s response. Instead, like a coward, he said, “Shall we join the others?” He untangled himself and reached for her hand. “I’m surprised your brother hasn’t barged in already.”
She laughed and it warmed him. “I’m sure Rheda is holding him back.”
The smiles that greeted them as they re-entered the drawing room, still hand in hand, were less strained when everyone saw how relaxed the couple was. Unbeknown to Madeline, she glowed and Anthony inwardly sighed in relief; his brother was looking content.
This could work. They could make a happy life together. Anthony prayed that that was so. More than anything, he wanted his brother to be happy and Madeline too. She was a sweet girl and deserved more than life had previously given her.
But his sense of relief was almost banished by a niggle of concern. He hoped Richard understood Madeline was in love with him. Perhaps he should tell him. No. Richard surely knew. Everyone in this room understood that Maddy had been in love with his brother for at least the past twelve months.
Richard couldn’t be that blind.
Or could he?
#
The rain of the last few days cleared on her wedding day. It was a brilliant, cloudless day and Maddy hoped the weather was an omen of future happiness. Perhaps their marriage would be all she had hoped for. Perhaps Richard would learn to love her—at least a little.
She’d seen hardly anything of him since their talk in the study.
“You look beautiful.” Rufus’s soft words gave her a warm glow.
“You’re biased.”
He walked to her side and kissed her cheek. “No. I’m not. You really do look a vision.”
“I’m so sorry I disappointed you.”
“You’ve never disappointed me, darling. I’m proud of you for trying to help your friend even though I’d like to kick his arse to kingdom come,” he said with a small laugh. “I just hope I’m doing the right thing by forcing you to marry him.”
She cupped his chin. “
You’re
not forcing me. Richard and I have made our decision, the best decision considering the circumstances. Be happy for us.”
He took her face in both his hands. “But will you be happy? God, I wish this hadn’t happened.”
“I’ll be content, Rufus. Richard will be a good husband to me. He’s promised.”
Her brother stood looking at her for a few moments. “He’ll have me to answer to if he isn’t.” He dropped his hands from her face and cleared his throat. Color crept up his neck. “Has mother talked with you?”
“Talked with me?” She knew what Rufus was trying to ask and she loved him for it, but couldn’t resist a bit of teasing.
“That is, Richard and you, he will be your husband and he’ll expect…”
“What will he expect?”
Too late, he caught the gleam of mischief in her eyes.
He hugged her close. “You scamp.”
“Yes, mother, and your wife too, have imparted advice on the marriage bed.”
Rufus face flushed with color. “Good.”
“I’m sure Richard will look after me in his bed very well. If he’s as good as you are, I shall be as content as Rheda.”
The flush deepened. Under his breath he whispered, “I’m beginning to feel slightly sorry for Richard.” Maddy playfully punched him.
He offered her his arm. “Ready?”
She gave a wan smile and took a deep breath. Her stomach lurched. “As I’ll ever be…”
She walked proudly beside her brother across the manicured lawn towards their tiny chapel. A small crowd of staff and villagers had gathered around the steps of the chapel, murmuring faint congratulations. She nodded her thanks as she passed.
Just inside the door, she paused. Maddy looked down. She hoped she looked beautiful enough for a man as gorgeous as Richard. She’d chosen her gown carefully. The pale blue velvet had an overskirt of very fine, transparent chiffon, intermittently decorated with tiny pearls that glowed ethereally in the soft candlelight. As she looked up and saw Richard standing so tall and majestically at the altar, she wished the bodice wasn’t so tight. She could barely breathe.
Rufus squeezed her hand. “It’s time.”
She walked proudly towards her fate. Even though she’d been forced into this, she intended to marry with her head held high.
A sea of the people she loved rose to their feet, their heads turning until all eyes were upon her. Her vision blurred as she saw her mother’s proud face. She would not cry.
Focus
. She looked toward the altar…