Interrupted Vol 1 (11 page)

“Honey?” I turn around and see my mom walking in, taking a seat. “Sit down.”

“Mother, now is not a good time.”

“Sit down.” I do as she says. “You need to realize what you’re doing. You’ve been up and down and things are getting out of control. You’re in the office all day, every day. What is going on? Talk to me, honey.”

“I can’t.” With my mom, I can tell her nearly everything and she understands, but I can’t tell her this. Her hand finds mine and I soon find myself relaxed. It doesn’t seem dark when she’s near me.

“Try.”

“There’s this woman at my company, and she’s breaking all my rules.”

“Rules?” I give her a look, “okay I don’t need to know. Go on.”

“I’m falling for her, and it’s scaring me.”

“That’s normal, Honey. Love comes at unexpected times. If she makes you smile. If she makes your day better. If she challenges you for the better and puts up with your rollercoaster moods, then I say she’s a keeper. So what are you going to do?”

I have no fucking idea. At this point, I’m not sure what the right direction is. I realize how honest she’s been, and I’m the one who’s lying. I want her, and I will have her.

I look at my phone again, but there’s nothing from her. The only thing that makes sense is she’s upset with Henry. Something happened, but why is she letting him get to her? I roll my eyes. Pathetic people. This is why there are deception and lies in this world. You want to believe what you hear and you want to believe in forever, but there’s no such thing. Even if there is, sometimes it’s too late. Sometimes hate invades you for so long it’s hard to let it go.

People say the truth will set you free, and sometimes it does. But sometimes the truth can cause more pain than it should. Finding out the truth about my past, doesn’t change what I’ve already done.

That night changed my life. I turned into a different man. I didn’t know who I was, but I knew what I wanted to do. My heart broke, and I was numb. All the unimaginable lies. I believed it all. I tried hard to get through the shit and felt lost. I was dead for so long. I disappeared from the world until I was found and given purpose and an idea.

Before, I wasn’t in control; now I am. I’m in control of what will happen.

“CAM?” I LOOK UP and see Natalie and Beverly staring at me. I shake my head and finish my wine.

“I’m fine. Trust me, I am fine.”

I push back my brown hair, closing my eyes and thinking about how Sharp is going to kill me tomorrow when I go back to work. I’m usually not like this. I needed time to gather myself. The divorce is final, and I’m all moved out of my house. Everything’s been quick and painful. I hired movers to pack the house because I couldn’t do it. Locking myself away in a hotel until things were done was what I needed.

Now I need something else. “I need a night out to let loose. My divorce is final, and I have a sweet apartment, plus it’s Thirsty Thursday, so let’s go fucking wild.” Getting up from the bed I grab clothes from my closet and rush to get ready. I hear the girls mumbling. Dylan’s probably going to kill me for taking Beverly out, but she’ll be the DD because I need to get wasted tonight.

Walking into
One
nightclub, I order a round of shots for Natalie and myself. Wearing a very low-cut shirt with my tightest dark-wash jeans and black heels I look damn fucking good. If I were a guy, I’d want to fuck me too.

Taking the shots, I hand one to Natalie as we raise our glasses and cheers to a great night. We spend the first hour at the bar getting drunk. Well, mostly it’s me drinking. Natalie’s watching Beverly, and Beverly’s watching me. I feel bad having her come out since she’s pregnant, but surprisingly Dylan agreed and wanted her here.

Sipping on my drink, I finish it when a very sexy guy comes walking my way. At least, I think he’s sexy. Cocking my head to the right, I blink a few times, trying to clear my vision. Shit, I’m so gone.

“I gotta take Bev to the bathroom. But stay here!”

“Okay,” I nod, keeping my eyes on the distant sexy guy. I turn to the bartender and ask for another drink, when I turn around he’s gone. “The hell?”

• • •

Sitting at my desk, I look at the bottle of water on my desk. Last night is so blurry. I remember drinking at the bar, laughing with my girls, and then seeing someone sexy. Then that’s it.

I woke up in my own bed, with pajamas on, with medicine and juice on my nightstand. I texted Beverly, but she didn’t text me back and neither has Natalie. Nothing makes sense. Did I black out? I had to have blacked out. I know I wasn’t roofied, but I have the symptoms. It doesn’t make sense.

Not able to dwell on this for long, I grab the
Starbucks
bag and head to Taylor’s office. Tapping on her office door, I walk in holding a latte and a cranberry walnut muffin. “I come in peace.”

“Oh, look who’s here.”

I set her goodies down and pray she’ll listen. “I’m sorry things have been a mess with the divorce and selling my house.”

“Are you okay?” She asks, taking her latté. She’s concerned and worried. Her eyes soften with care and she’s looking at me with a slight frown.

“Yeah, I’ll be fine.” And it’s true.

“Cam?”

“Hmm?”

“Are you okay being here today?”

“I have to be,” I whisper, “I have to be. I can’t jeopardize my position, and I’m so surprised I haven’t been fired so no more dwelling on this shit. I’m here, and I’m ready.”

Taylor fills me in with what I’ve been missing. She tells me that Sharp’s been in a bad mood, and I should email him as soon as I get back to my office. I nod listening to her, but I really want to get out of her office and text Sharp. Taylor tells me I’ll be okay, smiling, I realize she’s right. I am going to be okay.

Me:
I’m here at work.

Sharp:
Really? I thought you fucking died.

Me:
Sharp, I’m sorry.

Sharp:
Camila, what you pulled fucked over a lot of projects. You put the company in a terrible position. I should fire your ass.

Me:
I know, and I’m so sorry.

Sharp:
I have two options. One, I could fire you.

Me:
What’s option two?

Sharp:
I like option two better. You’ll find out soon.

Me:
Well, I’ll let you plan out the better option. I have to get work done.

Sharp:
Don’t run off again.

Me:
Way to make me feel better, Sharp.

Sharp:
It’s my pleasure.

It’s nearly nine when I’m done with my work. I don’t feel like heading back to my apartment and Beverly’s in bed now. I think about texting Sharp, but decide against it. Taylor and Natalie are gone, and I’m sure they’re busy with their lives. Looks like one is the loneliest number.

I run to Wegmans and pick up some dinner. Walking around the prepared area, in the refrigerated area, there’s really nothing that catches my sight. There are chicken tenders and some Asian cuisine. I’m not terribly hungry, so I settle on a salad with a fruit smoothie.

When I get back home, I see a man standing near the door. I hesitate and pull out my can of mace. Slowly approaching the door, the man looks at me and smiles.

“Camila?

“Yes?” I hesitate.

“These are for you.” He hands me a beautiful arrangement of lilies and roses.

“Thank you.” I watch him leave and go inside, holding my flowers. I know who they’re from. Entering my quiet apartment, I set down the flowers and open the card.

I miss our fucked-up conversations.

I miss your sexy and sassy mouth.

I miss you.

-Sharp

My heart races. He misses me! I think about texting him, but for now I wait. I want to enjoy this moment to myself before I let him know how happy he’s made me. Sharp cares.

Sitting in front of my bay window of my apartment I finish a glass of wine and set it out the table. Reaching for my phone again, I turn on the song “
Back at One”
by Brian McKnight and let the memories take over.

I miss you. Where are you? Are you happy?

Thinking about him makes things better, in some strange ways. Before meeting him, my life was routine. Wake up, get ready, make sure Mom approves my outfit via video chat, have Stuart take me to school, hang out with friends, go to class, be the star and make sure I represent the Ellison name to the upmost pride, but with him in my life it kept getting better. For the first time in fifteen years, I was living. I was happy and loved life because of him. It kills me that I can’t find my first love, the one who believed in me and made me want to live.

He grabs me from behind, spinning me around. “Ahh
,
put me down!”

“Nope.” His lips find my cheek, kissing me all over, whispering how beautiful I am. “I love you so much, Baby.”

“I love you too!”

“Come on let’s get lunch.” Taking my hand, we head to his car and grab lunch off campus. It’s a beautiful day in Atlanta, and he looks happy. Carefree.

“We’re graduating in a few weeks,” I smile, knowing what we’re going to be doing after graduation.

“I know,” he kisses my hand, “I have so many plans for us. You’re still on board, right?”

I nod. “Of course. It’s you and me forever.”

“Forever,” he smiles. “You’re my forever, Camila.”

Drying my tears with a cigarette in my hand, I stare at nothing outside. Sitting here, alone, on the balcony of my apartment isn’t doing anything for me. Pulling the plush throw blanket around my shoulders, I place my lips around my cigarette, inhale the nicotine and blow it out, watching the smoke fly into the air.

Why the fuck am I doing this to myself? Sitting here crying like a bitch. I don’t cry. I don’t let things get to me. This cold, icy heart doesn’t know happiness. She’s gone, and has been gone since I was eighteen.

THE NEXT MORNING I send Sharp a text thanking him for the flowers and his card. Both made me smile. He hasn’t said anything back, and I hope he’ll answer soon. I feel like a teenager waiting for the popular boy to text me back.

Settling on the massage table, I let the music of the ocean take me to a place when things were simple, and all I had to worry about was passing a test. The massage therapist knows I want a quiet session, so she works on my neck down to my back. I can feel the knots as she’s working them and feel the stress leaving my body. I breathe in and out, keeping my eyes closed and focusing on letting her work my body. A two-hour massage is needed today.

“Cam, I know you want a quiet session, but your back is all jacked up. Want me to focus on your neck and back today?”

“Please,” I mumble before falling asleep.

This massage is what I need right now. Just two hours to myself to forget about what’s going on in my life. Our divorce is final, and the house has been sold. It happened so fast. Henry and I haven’t talked, not that I want to. Money has been deposited into my account, but I don’t touch it. Part of me wants to donate it to charity, while the other part of me wants to burn it and watch the ashes, like our marriage, blow away. So many years lost. So many years I’m not getting back.