Innocence Lost (12 page)

Ben

              There wasn’t a grand celebration or a parade to acknowledge their accomplishment, even the people in the town seemed to be glad they were leaving. All that happened was they slapped each other on the backs and headed out. Ben was ashamed to admit he had expected more. In the movies and on TV, when the good guys triumphed over the good it was a momentous occasion; in reality, not so much.

              They buried Rook’s body and marked where he lay so, as Zima put it, they could give him a proper burial when shit turned back to normal. Then they loaded back in the Jeep and headed to Kentucky. The rest of the trip there was unremarkable. They thought on a couple of occasions they stumbled upon another roadblock but they were all abandoned. The only thing of note that happened was they stopped at another hidden supply cache to reload and get some more gas. Ben enjoyed the lack of excitement.

              When they finally got to the base in Kentucky, Ben couldn’t help but feel disappointed. He had imagined they would pull up to a giant high-tech military outpost with jets, tanks, and all other kinds of military weaponry. Instead he was met with barbed wire fences, tents, trailers and from what he could tell, two helicopters off to the side. The only thing that made him feel better was seeing his disappointed reflected in Mason’s face.

              “It looks like they have seen better days.” Mason had commented to him.

              Ben had stayed off to the side while Mason and the others reported to their superiors. He knew what was probably coming after that. Mason had said before once they got to a safe haven he was sending him back home. Ben didn’t know how to feel about that. He felt like a different person now. He could readily admit that hiding away in Mason’s truck was a childish thing to do and he had put them both at risk, but all he had been through had changed him. He decided he would talk with Mason about it like an adult, it was the least he could do. When the men finally came out Ben felt his palms sweat.

              “Well, it looks like we are going to be here for a while.” Mason’s face didn’t show any emotion but his tone indicated that was not what he had been wanting.

              “What do you mean?”

              “They are short-handed here and winter is on the doorstep.”

              Ben had been so lost in everything that had happened he had not noticed the gradual approach of winter. Now that he thought about it, he couldn’t remember the last time he had been hot.

              “So we are going to be stationed here until winter passes. Or at least until they can get some more help.”

              Ben wasn’t going to bring it up if Mason wasn’t. “Anything new with the war?”

              Mason’s jaw clenched just briefly. “At this time our unit’s services are not needed on the front line.”

              Ben waited for more but Mason wasn’t forthcoming. “So are we winning?”

              “I doubt we would be hanging around here if we weren’t.”

              That logic made sense to Ben. “So where are we staying?”

              “We?” Mason asked and looked to Ben.

He knew this was going to come up sooner or later. “Are you sending me back?”

“No,” Mason said shaking his head. “This place doesn’t have the resources or manpower right now to allow that.”

Right now
, was the only part of that Ben could concentrate on. “Good, I want to help.”

They walked over to a small hastily built building that had just enough room for four people. Mason told him this was where they were going to be staying for the foreseeable future. The base served as a military-policed community for close to a thousand people. Mason told him that until they were relieved he would be policing and protecting this community, and Ben had been given permission to help out.

Ben had dinner that night with Mason and Zima, while Stevenson had reconnected with some old friends and ate with them. Ben hadn’t realized how much he had missed a regular home-cooked meal and he demolished his mashed potatoes and buttered corn. By the time they had finished dinner, night had fallen, and instead of going back to his bed, he went on a walk of the base with Mason.

“Doesn’t look like much, but at least they know how to cook.” Mason said with a smile.

“That was the best meal I’ve had in years.”

Mason laughed and they continued their walk down the old streets. To house most of the civilians they used the leftover homes in the town. Interspersed in these blocks were military personal and patrols to keep the peace. There were a few civilians out on the street but most of them had already gone inside for the night.

“You feeling okay?” Mason asked.

“About what?”

“What you had to do at the brick plant. Taking a life.”

Ben would have lied if he said he didn’t think about it. He remembered the feeling of his gun kicking when he fired it and the man flying back when the bullets struck him. Seeing the man die in front of him had been rough, but it was the sound of the man struggling to breathe that he couldn’t shake.

“I was as green as a twig when I deployed to Iraq for the first time,” Mason said when Ben didn’t answer. “I was patrolling with my unit when a man came out of the alley with an AK-47 in his hands, so I smoked him.” Mason shooed away a mosquito and continued walking. “Everyone congratulated me on losing my cherry and I gladly took the compliments. Despite all that, when it got dark at night all I could think about is whether that man was actually an insurgent attacking us, or just a guy with an assault rifle trying to protect his family.”

Ben glanced up at the man who continued to walk while staring out at nothing in particular.

“Did you ever find out?” Ben asked.

“Nope, and honestly I will probably wonder for the rest of my life whether or not I should have fired. I even said something once to one of the veterans on my team, and you know what he told me? He asked if I would rather wonder my entire life if I killed an innocent man that was walking around with an AK-47, or if I’d rather wonder if I’d acted sooner if I could have saved the lives of some of the men in my unit?”

“You mean, if the guy had been bad and you didn’t act?”

Mason nodded. “Yep. You did the right thing. If you had not shot the man he would have tried to kill you.”

Ben knew that but it still felt good hearing someone else say it.

“It never gets easy Ben, and that’s probably a good thing.”

The look on the dying man’s face flashed into Ben’s mind and he looked up at the starry sky and focused on the moon. He didn’t want to have to kill people but that wasn’t always going to be an option, at least not while the power was out. Knowing that Mason struggled the first time he had to take a life, and knowing the man still struggled with it put Ben at ease. He had spent so much time trying to prove himself and second guessing himself, it was nice to know that everyone struggled with something. It gave Ben hope.

“So what am I going to help out with?” Ben asked.

“I’m not sure. There is a lot to be done so they’ll find something for you.”

“Do you think I can help out with patrols and stuff like that?”

Mason gave him a half-smile. “That’s possible.”

“Because if so, there are still some things I would need to learn to do it right.”

Mason didn’t try to hide his smile. “I’ll see what I can work out.”

With Clive out of the way, most of the drama had disappeared. There were still disagreements from time to time, but nothing like it had once been. The police force added a few members from Centralia but were still low on guns and ammunition. Things, for the first time in a long while, were peaceful.

When winter came they were ready. The crops they had grown helped to make up for the days when the snares and hunting parties came home empty. Along with Jack’s pond, they had several others they took turns using to keep a constant supply of fish coming in. Sure, there were days when all they had was a stew with a microscopic amount of meat in it, but it was warm. Even providing heat for everyone seemed to come easy. The extra hands made cutting and providing wood a simple task compared to what it used to be. The only thing they couldn’t control was sickness.

Even with the new additions from Centralia, a large majority of the people in their settlement were well over the hill, which meant that even a minor bug turned into a big thing. With limited medicine available, Trevor worked overtime to treat, and when he could, try to prevent the spread of sickness, but the man could only do so much. That was why Alec sat in one of the trailer’s they had set aside for people who weren’t feeling well. There were a few people in the trailer in good condition just resting the last of the bug away, but April was a different story.

              She had come with Alec and the others when their town was destroyed but their interactions had been limited. She was, for the most part, all by herself. She had friends from the old town and from their settlement but no family. She had her garden, helped cook a couple times a week and stayed to herself. A couple of weeks ago she caught a version of the flu that was going around and had gradually gotten worse and worse.

              “There is nothing we can do now.” Trevor whispered.

              The fire crackling in the background mixed with April’s labored breathing were the only sounds that filled the room.

              “She will either make it through the night or…” Trevor left the rest unsaid. “I’m going to try and catch a few hours of sleep….you good?”

              “Yes for the last time, Trevor. Get some well-deserved rest.”

              Trevor nodded but didn’t move.

              “Hey Al, Jamie’s doing better.” he said.

              “Good to hear. I told you she would come around, she’s a tough kid.”

              “I understand she had some help,” Trevor said. “I talked with her and she told me what you said.”

              For a moment Alec didn’t know what to say. Their conversation had gone well but even he wasn’t sure if having that conversation was crossing the line. She was Trevor’s child after all.

              “Look, I hope I didn-“

              “Thank you,” Trevor said simply. “You’re right she’s tough, too tough. I tried for the longest time to get her to talk to me about her mother but…..she just kept moving forward and pretending things were fine. I thought she had moved past it.”

              “She told me it was this place. The feeling of a home that made it all come back.”

              Trevor thought about that for a moment. “Yeah, I guess that makes sense. You’re a good man Alec.”

              “Right back at you Trevor. Now why don’t you take your tired sentimental ass to bed?”

              Trevor laughed softly. “I am, I am.”

              “I’ll hold everything down here for the night.”

              Trevor gave him a tired smile and yawned immediately after. “If she…you know….then wake me.”

              Alec nodded and watched as the man left the room leaving him with his thoughts. Alec hated being alone late at night. If he was by himself during the day, he could find something to keep his mind busy, but at night if he wasn’t sleeping, he was thinking about them. A sister that was taken away and a brother that ran away. This place had a solid foundation, it didn’t need him there to help keep it together, not that it ever really did. Several times leading up to winter he had considered leaving to search for Ben and Ally, but the approaching winter had served as an excuse to put it off. Once winter passed he wasn’t sure what he was going to do. How was he going to find two people in a world so big, and did Ben even want to be found?

              April’s lungs tried to expel the fluid that was slowing building up in them. Alec laid his hand on her forehead as her body shook harder and harder with every cough. She had gone from blazing hot earlier in the day to cold and clammy. Just when he thought she would never stop, she finally did, but her every breath was now filled with a wet wheezing sound.

              Alec didn’t know what was going to happen next. Once the snows melted they would begin the process of strengthening this place and preparing for the next winter. Was this his life now? Building a small town in the middle of nowhere, until what? Until the lights came back on? After all this time was that even possible?

              April began coughing again and Alec tried to steady her. At first the coughs came out stronger and stronger until soon the wheezing sound took over. April began to turn red as her body continued to try and cough up the fluid in her lungs while also preventing her from breathing. Panic began to rise in Alec as he realized he had no idea what he was doing. He pulled April onto her side and gave her several forceful pats on the back to help. Just as the woman seemed like she was on the brink, she stopped. He breathed a sigh of relief as she returned to her normal wheezing breaths.

              She had several more fits during the night, Alec lost count as he drifted in and out of sleep. Finally sleep embraced him and he fell into it willingly. When he woke up, the first rays of sunlight were beginning to make their way into the trailer. Just as he started to appreciate how beautiful it was he realized something was wrong. The fire was down to embers so its crackling had disappeared long ago, but the room was also missing April’s wheezing. Even before Alec saw her he already knew. She was turned away from him on her side but the little bit of color she had left was gone.

              He took a few long breaths to steady himself. He shouldn’t have fallen asleep. Had she started coughing in the night and he had not woken up? No, surely her coughing fits would have woken him up. There wasn’t anything he could have done, Trevor had told him that, and he fought to believe it. He had brought these people here to give them a chance, that’s all he could do.

He sat there with next to her until Trevor came. They buried her in the afternoon.