Infamous (5 page)

Back in the den, he rifled through her handbag until he found her car keys. No sense taking any chances that she would wake up and try to drive home before she sobered up.

Looking down at the keys, a memory surfaced. The newspaper article. A car wrapped around a tree. Jessica. And Knight. It had been before Morgan met her, but he had seen the story. Everyone had. The spark of anger finally appeared.

He poured himself a drink and carried his laptop into his office. Turning it on, he logged in with his password and brought up the folder that contained his personal projects. The next folder had a further level of security protection. He typed in the password reluctantly. His guilty little secret.

The file was full of images. Jessica appeared across the screen in hundreds of thumbnails: Jessica on red carpet in a silver Versace gown; Jessica sitting next to Knight at a fundraiser; Jessica with her skirt riding up as she stepped out of a limousine.

He skimmed files impassively. With the ease of practice, his gaze skipped over one image, the car, without pause.

He clicked on the next folder and a shorter list of thumbnails appeared. Here was
his
Jessica: Jessica and Kinsey on the beach; Jessica trying to pry her favorite shoes away from Sandy; Jessica asleep on the porch chaise.

He tried to remember that she had not wanted him, that there were no more pictures in this folder because she had walked out of his life as casually as she had walked into it. He tried to remember that she had left him to go back to her red carpets and limousines and Knight. When it came down to it, she had never been his at all.

Had his father felt like this about his mother? Was this why he had always acquiesced when she pleaded with him not to move or sell the shop? The hardware store had been in the family for generations. His father must have seen it was a losing battle, but he had continued pouring blood into the failing business year after year. After his father’s death, it had been up to Morgan to finally do the unthinkable — to close the doors despite his mother’s pleas.

He sat in front of the computer for a long time before turning it off and going to his own bed.

• • •

“Kinsey,” Morgan tapped on the closed door, “breakfast in five.” He hesitated a minute in front of the guest room door, then shrugged and headed back to the kitchen. He wasn’t sure he was ready to face her yet this morning.

In any event, Jessica made it into the kitchen before Kinsey. He ladled pancake batter onto the griddle and watched as she poured her coffee. She got straight to point.

“I can’t find my keys.”

“They’re in my desk drawer.”

She quirked an eyebrow, but anything she might have said was forestalled by Kinsey bouncing into the kitchen.

“Awesome, you’re making pancakes! Hey, Jessica, I didn’t know you stayed over.”

“Saturday morning special.” He flipped the pancakes with a little extra flourish — their Saturday morning routine. “How are you feeling this morning?”

“
Dad
!” Kinsey blushed bright red, “I’m totally fine.” She poured a glass of orange juice from the carton on the island. “In fact, is it okay if I go over to Rachel’s right after breakfast?”

“What’s the rush?”

“Her mom has her yoga class on Saturday mornings; she can pick me up on her way home — that way you won’t have to drive me.” She gave him her best smile. “Please?”

“As long as it isn’t any trouble for Mrs. Williams.”

“No way. She said she’s going to dump us on you tomorrow and maybe next weekend, too.”

Morgan slid a stack of pancakes in front of Kinsey and turned to Jessica.

“How many?”

“I’ll just have the coffee.”

“When do you expect to eat? It’s at least an hour back to the city.” He divided the rest of the pancakes onto two plates and pushed the shorter stack over to her. “The last thing I need to worry about is you passing out from hunger on the highway.”

Jessica gave him an unfriendly look but picked up her fork. He dug into his own stack and tried to concentrate on his food rather than Jessica sitting across from him.

After passing out on the couch and sleeping in her clothes, she should have looked wrinkled and bleary-eyed. Instead, she looked warmly rumpled, her eyes sultry rather than bleary. It made him think about taking her back to bed and rumpling her a little more — giving her a satisfied smile to go with the sultry eyes.

He was jolted out of his reverie by the phone. Mrs. Williams was at the gate waiting to be buzzed through.

Kinsey dumped her plate in the sink and kissed his cheek on her way past.

“Thanks for coming Jessica, I’ll text you later — see you, Dad.”

Then she was out the door, and he was alone in the kitchen with Jessica.

She was pushing what was left of her pancakes around on the plate. As far as he could see, she had eaten all of two bites.

“If you’ll get my keys, I should leave. As you said, it will take me a while to get back.”

Was she really so anxious to get away from him again that she couldn’t even finish breakfast?

He shoved his stool back and headed into his office. Jessica trailed along behind him.

At his desk, he took a firm grip on his emotions. He was behaving irrationally. Jessica had gone out of her way to be with Kinsey when she needed a friend. It wasn’t fair for him to be angry with her because he wanted her more than she wanted him. He turned to her and forced a smile.

“Look, I owe you an apology. I was rude yesterday on the phone. I appreciate you driving out her to be with Kinsey. I have no idea why she called you instead of Mrs. Williams or someone else.”

The apology did not have the effect he expected. She looked as if he had slapped her. The sultry look disappeared. Her eyes went from deep, still lagoons of blue to St. Elmo’s fire in a heartbeat.

“Why shouldn’t she call me? At least
I
answered the phone when she called! Can’t you be bothered to take a call from your daughter when you’re with a client?”

She was accusing him of being a bad parent?
Him
?

“Of course I take Kinsey’s calls. What kind of parent do you think I am? I left my phone in the car. I didn’t realize I didn’t have it until almost the end of the day.”

Jessica barely let him finish.

“And then what? It took you hours to get home. What if she
had
been sick? Or hurt? How often do you leave her stuck out here in the middle of nowhere like that?”

“It’s hardly the middle of nowhere and — ”

“It certainly is if you’re thirteen years old and can’t drive.”

He forgot his intention to keep his temper under control and rounded on her. “And speaking of driving, what were you thinking last night? You drank a full bottle wine. If breakfast was any indication you probably ate a carrot stick for dinner. Were you planning on driving all the way back to L.A. in that state?”

“Worried about me?”

“It’s certainly something I wouldn’t want Kinsey to see you doing!”

She had the grace to blush a little at that.

“Well, no worries, the great and perfect Morgan Riley stole my car keys, because obviously I can’t be trusted to make that decision for myself.”

She made him sound like an overbearing bully.

“Damnit, Jessica … .”

“I forgot what a control freak you can be, Morgan. And since you’re so good at planning for every little thing, why didn’t Kinsey have the number of the company you were at? Somebody could have paged you if there was an emergency.” She threw her hands up, “Jesus, J.T. was always gone, but at least there was staff in the house if something went really wrong.”

Just like that, she took all the fight out of him. Had that been what it was like for her? Had she had anyone to call if she was sick or scared?

It seemed that the fight had gone out of Jessica, too. She held out her hand.

“Just give me the keys,” she said, “and I’ll leave.”

He shook his head.

“Jessica … .” He closed his eyes. “Jessica,” he tried again, “I don’t want to argue with you. I really do appreciate you being here for Kinsey.”

“You don’t need to thank me. I know you don’t think much of me, but I care about Kinsey. I’ll always come if she needs me.”

Shit.

“I know you will.” And he did know it, he realized. Jessica might regret her marriage to him, but she had loved Kinsey from day one. She could understand Kinsey in ways he couldn’t. Maybe that was why he found himself confiding in her.

“To be honest, things have been a little difficult with Kinsey lately. She’s a great kid, but she’s at an age where she wants to be more grown up than she is. She thinks she doesn’t need a nanny. She made life so difficult for the last two that they both left within weeks, despite offers of higher wages. I’m home more than most working parents, but I can’t run everything from here.”

She snorted. “I can relate. Embarrassing for your friends to know you have a nanny when you’re thirteen.”

Yes, Jessica would know what it was like. He took a deep breath and jumped in. “So…what would you do?”

She looked surprised, then thoughtful. “Maybe your problem is just the job title. Why not hire a live-in housekeeper instead of a daily? It would save face for Kinsey, but you would know there was an adult on premises.”

“I might have to.” It was the obvious solution, but it stuck in his craw. “The problem is, I
am
here a lot. I don’t like a lot of household staff intruding on our privacy when I’m home.”

“Tricky,” Jessica agreed. “Plus, it’s really not the same. When I was a kid, I knew the nanny was in charge when J.T. was gone. When I stopped having nannies and there was just the household staff,
I
told
them
what to do. It was a different dynamic — to be honest, not the best situation for a teenager.”

She paused and gave him a quick look from under her lashes. “Are you dating anyone seriously?”

Her voice sounded a little funny, but he was too thrown by the sudden change in the conversation to pay much attention. Surely she couldn’t care who he was dating? He cleared his throat.

“No one in particular.”

“Well, I was just thinking that the obvious solution to your problem would be to provide Kinsey with a new mother. I suppose that’s out if you’re not already seeing someone regularly.”

Stupid, she was just interested in Kinsey’s welfare. Of course it didn’t matter to her who he was dating.

“I would hardly marry someone just to provide Kinsey with a mother.”

“Just a thought.” Inexplicably, she sounded happier than she had a few minutes ago. He felt the anger start to build again.

“In case it slipped your mind,” he said, “it might be a little difficult for me to marry someone else
since I’m already married to you
!”

He realized he was almost shouting again. How did she do that? He never lost his temper like this with anyone else.

“Calm down.” Jessica flapped her hands at him. “I just meant that the best solution was for Kinsey to have someone who was part of the family here when you’re gone — someone she could have a real relationship with. What about your mother, would she consider moving down here?”

“No, she’s very happy where she is. Not only that, but I want Kinsey to enjoy having a grandmother. It wouldn’t be the same between them if Mom were here all the time.”

A horrible idea was forming in his mind — a horrible idea that was really not so new. An idea that he had carefully
not
thought about ever since he had heard Jessica’s voice on the phone yesterday. Something that would totally destroy any peace he had achieved over the last four years.

“There
is
one person who might fit the bill.”

He was insane. Words were coming out of his mouth without any direction from his very rational brain.

“Someone that Kinsey trusts enough to call when she is in trouble.” He shut up and waited for her to laugh, to tell him she had no interest in coming back here under any circumstances.

“Well, there you go.” Her mouth shut. She shook her head. “You can’t even be considering — ”

“Someone,” his runaway mouth continued, “that she has already accepted as part of our family.”

“Morgan, it just wouldn’t work. We already tried it and it was a disaster.”

“Why not? You just said you would come whenever Kinsey needs you … . I’m telling you she needs you as part of her life.” And what kind of father used his daughter as bait? This was probably the stupidest thing he had ever done.

“Uh, uh,” Jessica was shaking her head. “I am
not
the person you want as a role model for your daughter. You don’t approve of a thing I do. Don’t think that Kinsey hasn’t seen the same newspapers and web sites that you have — you can’t pretend that side of my life doesn’t exist.”

“I’m not saying I’m thrilled about the way you live your life, but the bottom line is that Kinsey trusts you. The situation yesterday made me realize that there are probably a lot of things a girl her age just isn’t comfortable talking about with her father. Right now, the fact that she already confides in you is more important to me than your …” he searched for a word, “lifestyle.”

“I see. So, for Kinsey’s sake you want me to move out here to the sticks and turn into a Stepford Mom? I do have a career, you know. It’s not as important as jotting up and down the countryside singlehandedly saving entrepreneurship in California, but it does pay the bills.”

“Jessica, you’re a writer. You have a laptop. You can write on the moon if you want to. I’ll even set you up your own office space here.”

“I write about
Hollywood
— how can I do that if I’m not
in
Hollywood?”

“We are not moving to outer Mongolia anytime soon. You can be in L.A. in under two hours. It’s barely any different from living there.”

“It’s not the same,” she insisted.

The woman would argue that the sky was green. And why was he continuing this conversation if she was so unwilling, anyway?

“If I did it,” Jessica said, “
if
I did it, what exactly are we talking about here? Am I just a third roommate — someone to be home with Kinsey when you’re not?”