In Your Arms: A Small Town Love Story (Safe Haven Book 1) (29 page)

As I watched them I caught the fresh scent of a dog. I couldn’t see it, but I knew by its energy it was coming my way. It wasn’t the main dog I always smelled on Marlo. That dog must have her heart because her scent permeates every part of Marlo, so subtle and so ingrained. I’d even had an idea about meeting that dog someday, another indication I was making small steps to recovery.

Around the corner came Lulah with a dog bouncing alongside her, a picture of exuberance. I sensed his spirit and joy and I lifted my head to read his scent and find out more about him. He was taller than me, strongly built. His coat was mainly white and he had a large black patch over one eye, another black patch on his body. They called him Joker.

Lulah brought him to the fence alongside my run and he stood there, calm and happy and cocked his head at me. We measured each other up and I knew from his demeanor he’d never had a fight.

As we connected he sent me signals in a language I thought I’d forgotten, telling me he meant no harm. Dogs are good at communicating with each other using both bold and subtle displays but throughout my life every innate signal was misread so that I stopped communicating altogether. Yet here in front of me was a dog telling me he wanted to be my friend, and when I signaled back my uncertainty, he told me that was fine and we’d go out my speed.

Something inside me cracked open and in that instant I felt the tickle of the grass beneath my belly and the warmth of the sun on my back. Joker had been on a leash and when he was released he trotted confidently to the fence that separated us and continued to send me happy
come-play
signals. Ignoring the humans I blinked back at him and made some sideways glances, telling him I was still hesitant, but he encouraged me to my feet and slowly I rose to a safe half-crouch.

My legs trembled with the effort and the rush of energy that came to me. I kept my tail curved tightly between my legs and cautiously made my way towards Joker, flicking my tongue out of my mouth, turning my head slightly, hoping he understood my meaning. He bounced with glee then stood, slowing his energy until he relaxed, while I concentrated on making it across the short expanse of grass towards him.

The people watching were silent and I could feel their collective will helping me on my journey.

Finally I made it to the fence and Joker settled on the other side to wait and greet me. I got there and placed my muzzle close to the wire all the while Joker remaining still, apart from his tail which thrashed with joy.

Joker continued sending me messages of encouragement, telling me how well I was doing and, without conscious thought, I’d discovered my tail had risen to a semi-confident height and twitched in a small arc suggesting a barely perceptible wag. I blew out my breath, my lips puffing a little. Being this close to Joker, his joy was infectious.

The need to thank this dog who had essentially sent a pulse of life through me was overwhelming and I pressed my entire body against the fence trying to reach every part of him. When I managed to get part of my nose through, Joker came close and I licked his muzzle furiously. My feet performed an impromptu dance as if all the tension that had knotted my body now uncoiled and was trying to leave.

I was alive.

T
he energy
from the people on the other side of the fence was immense but I was, for the moment, totally invested in Joker. Everything about him felt pure and I knew he had much to teach me about becoming a useful dog, able to fulfill my purpose. The amount of emotion and pleasure and fear I experienced all but overwhelmed me and quite soon, it seemed, Joker left with Lulah.

Marlo and Adam coaxed me out of the big run and down to a meadow. I was able to sniff—something so inherently important to a dog. Now I experienced my environment in a positive way. Often I would stop, my head lifting to catch the messages carried to me on the breeze. Other moments I listened and heard so much more than the birds. I had been so closed off to the world that I needed to relearn the environmental clues like a new language.

I had other things to learn, too. Like how to follow Marlo, my new leader. She taught me cues and basic commands to enable me to get along in the human world, and I loved to learn. Lessons came with rewards, and I eagerly anticipated our regular sessions.

One of the biggest treats was her approval, the immense pleasure she showed when I got things right. Another treat was playtime with Joker which we had the chance to enjoy each day. I knew there were other dogs around this place, I heard them, sensed them and could smell them on Joker and the humans, but I wasn’t introduced to them immediately.

We played games with the humans, too, and I particularly loved to fetch the ball or tug on the long plaited rope.

In order to build my confidence we did a lot of nose work where I got to use my scenting ability to find my favorite treats and toys which had been hidden. First we started with lots of boxes, some decoys, and always one holding the prize. As I became more successful at discovering my hidden treats, they were substituted for scented pieces of cotton which could be hidden anywhere.

Over time, my coat become soft and richer in color, my scars, though, were still evident. I rebuilt my atrophied muscle although I didn’t bulk up to my previous size because we only ate good food here, no steroids, no drugs.

Of course, there was much I didn’t understand about this new world, and sights and situations still sneaked up and flooded me with fear. At first, walking on a short leash made my courage wane as the only experience I had of being closely tethered to a human was when I was taken for conditioning and fighting.

Experience meant the presence of a leash provoked a surge of adrenaline so that no matter how kindly or carefully my handler treated me, I couldn’t break past the idea that my safest move was flat to the ground. Marlo and Lulah were tireless with their patience, and instead of trying to lure me out of my funk, they simply waited quietly as I worked my way through it. I had to overcome my internal battles in a way that was manageable for me.

To help me, a leash was clipped to my collar when I was about to be fed. Somebody was always with me at feeding time, playing with my food while I ate and I understood that if they took something from my bowl, it was immediately replaced so there was no need to guard my resources. Soon I came to acquaint the leash with pleasurable experiences and I no longer pancaked when I felt the weight of the clip on my collar.

A
s I regained
my strength and continued to improve emotionally, more was added to my daily routine. Some afternoons when the others were busy with work, I walked with Adam. These were long rambles through the woods taken at a leisurely pace. Adam talked non-stop about a place called New Zealand, and his feelings for Marlo. To be honest, I didn’t really understand the finer details of his conversation, but how I loved the sound of his voice as it went through me, soothing my nerves.

When he spoke of New Zealand his energy became stable and warm, but when he spoke of Marlo it not only changed, but varied in its intensity as if sometimes he tried to control his emotional output. Silly man—as if it were possible!

I remained settled and stable so long as I had my routine.

One afternoon Marlo arrived with Adam and that was a break in routine I was happy with. I knew they were here before they appeared in my field of vision but I was wary when I caught the scent of the dog whose odor was consistently merged with Marlo’s own scent.

I went on full alert. How would I feel about meeting the dog who obviously spent so much time in Marlo’s life? What if the dog didn’t like me? I wanted to ingratiate myself with Marlo but I stayed back to take my cue from the body language of this new dog.

Her name was Fala and she was brought to the other side of the fence that enclosed my run. Her signals were those of calm acceptance; a welcome greeting rather than an invitation to play. Immediately I liked her. She was gracious, like a duchess, and getting on in years but I could feel the immense love she and Marlo had for each other. It was open, flowing freely between them in a manner that was non-exclusive. Fala had a generous heart and immediately welcomed me.

Together we walked down through the meadow and the anxiety I experienced prior to meeting Fala bubbled out of me so that I wanted to run and burn it all off. When I invited Fala to play she politely declined a run so I did a couple of quick circuits around the group, to release my energy, then followed Marlo’s request to calm down. At the bottom of the meadow Fala and I went together to sniff the boundary and already I felt an overwhelming need to be with her. She seemed to extinguish any residual anguish I felt.

Marlo and Adam were discussing us when we returned, and I understood they were pleased by the connection we’d made.

We left the meadow for the path to the quarantine area where I lived. As we approached my kennel area I hesitated, waiting to be taken through the locked gate but instead we carried on up the path, past Marlo’s office and up a driveway. We came to a building and Marlo went ahead and opened a door. Fala trotted through the doorway and disappeared from view.

I froze.

Most of me wanted to follow Fala but the only building like this I’d been in before had stairs leading to a large basement which was the fighting pit. I was sure Marlo and Adam wouldn’t make me do something like that. I could tell Fala had never fought but I couldn’t make my legs work.

“Fala, come.”

I prayed she would follow Marlo’s instructions and return to her because I needed help. Sure enough she appeared through the door, serene as ever, and in that moment I knew I was safe. Adam dropped the leash and let me follow Fala at a pace with which I was comfortable. With nobody hanging onto me, with the door left open, I had the necessary escape route.

Inside, the house was filled with every smell imaginable and I was overwhelmed at first, unable to filter out the scents that weren’t of concern at this moment. Marlo prepared food and we went through to another room to a garden to eat. Fala ate her dinner on the patio and I was taken to the bottom of the garden. Perhaps they thought I might want to take Fala’s food but I would never take anything that was hers. I simply wanted to follow her around, forever.

Later, I was allowed into the kitchen and I could tell by the looks and petting Fala and I received from Marlo and Adam that they were very pleased with us. It had been a big day for me, being exposed to new situations and despite the fantastic smells of cooking in the kitchen, I wanted to rest. Fala lay in one of two beds by the door leading out to the patio, so I went and sniffed the bed alongside her. It had a trace of her scent, though not much. I was uncertain what to do and was about to go outside and lay on the grass when Fala indicated I could share her bed.

I put my forefeet in the bed and stared at her, wanting to be certain that I hadn’t misread her cue. She shifted a little and I added another foot, waiting for her signal. Finally I had all four feet in the bed and I circled and lowered myself carefully into the space. It was cramped, so I rested my head on her shoulder. She nuzzled my neck and closed her eyes.

My eyes were heavy, my need to constantly scrutinize my environment abated, and I drifted in and out of a half-sleep. Fala’s scent filled my nostrils but better than that was the beat of her heart that lulled me to a place of peace. I hadn’t experienced anything like this contentment since I was a puppy, still with my mother and siblings.

At one stage I awoke and listened to Marlo and Adam talking.

“Are you taking Justice back to the quarantine kennel tonight?” Adam asked

I felt Marlo’s gaze on me and I watched her through heavy-lidded eyes.

“I can’t put him back there. Look how well he and Fala have bonded.”

“He’s still essentially evidence for the dog fighting trial. He has to be protected.”

“He couldn’t be better protected than he is here with me—physically and for his emotional wellbeing. Having Justice here will allow me to work on his domestic skills. I’ll have him helping with dinner and dishes in no time.”

I shivered with pleasure when the happiness rippled between them as they laughed. It was one of my favorite human sounds.

I must have slept because there was a bang, and I jumped to my feet, and dashed under a table. The sound came from another place in the house and I wasn’t certain whether we were in danger. When I looked to Fala, she yawned, rolled onto her back and snuggled deeper into her bed. Her front feet flopped over, a picture of total relaxation and I decided if she wasn’t worried by the noise, I wouldn’t be concerned.

When Marlo and Adam went to the patio with their food, I moved outside to watch them, always waiting for the moment they would return me to my kennel.

After their dinner Adam went to the kitchen and Marlo sat on a long seat on the patio. I wanted to thank her in the only way I knew how, so I put my head on her lap and made that deep eye connection where I could look inside her and find her soul. If I could convey my gratitude then maybe they would continue to allow me to live in this house.

Marlo’s gentle hand rubbed across the top of my head, working at my ears, fingering the deep scar that ran as a ridge through one of them.

“You like it here, don’t you, Justice?”

More than she could ever imagine. And it wasn’t just a matter of simply liking it; this place helped me heal and forgive myself for the fighting, and for the injuries I’d caused my fellow dogs.

“Would you like to sleep up here tonight?” she asked me, her hands never leaving my head. Her eyes stayed with mine, pulling me into a place that connected us. That’s the part I got; the idea that I was to stay at the house with them. And the other part—the image she’d created when she thought of Fala and me asleep in one bed throughout the night—I wanted that image to become real.

Later Adam walked about, moving with purpose, picking up things and pulling on a jacket that signaled to me he was preparing to leave. I became anxious, thinking he might walk me back to my kennel but instead Marlo took Fala and me outside, and we watched Adam drive away.