Imperfectly Real (A Series of Imperfections) (2 page)

“What do you mean, why are you here?” Shane questioned, as we sat down amongst the sea of empty bar stools.

“I
mean
why am I even here in New York? I came here to live the dream.” I motioned for the bar tender’s attention. He recognized us and nodded to let me know he’d bring us the usual. “But I could be doing the same thing back home, making the same amount of money, and living a little more comfortably.” It was true—my job would pay exactly the same in Maine, and the cost of living was a fraction of what it was in New York.

Shane shook his head, apparently disgusted with my little pity-party. “You’re here because we’re your family, Tyler. You know that, and you know you couldn’t go back there.” The bartender sat our beer bottles in front of us and Shane paused to mumble a quick thank you. “Overreacting a bit don’t ya think?”

I raised the bottle to my lips. Shane was right. If I went back to Maine I would go fucking insane. I didn’t know which would kill me first—my mother or the boredom. Mom had become well acquainted with the wine bottle after Dad died. She was still my mom, but her constant drunken chatter was annoying, and I knew I didn’t have the patience for it. I felt bad for my brother, Talon, because he had yet to escape her.

“You’re just pissed you didn’t get offered that position, aren’t you?” he said very matter-of-factly.

I scoffed at him. “How do you fucking do that?” I laughed. It never ceased to amaze me that, somehow, he knew everything about everybody—whether we wanted him to or not.

He looked at me and smiled, obviously reveling in my absentmindedness. “Well, you did mention last week that you thought ESPN was coming to scout out the station for announcers.”

I had forgot that I’d said that. Damn it, Shane remembered everything. “Shit, that’s right, I did.”

“So it didn’t happen?” he questioned, his attention directed at the television hanging behind the bar.

My blood boiled as I remembered hearing the news. “No, it happened alright. They came swooping in and chose some fuckin’ rookie!” I spat. “Like seriously, he’s fresh out of college. And to make matters worse he’s a goddamn pretty boy … just like you.” I smiled again at my own wit.

“Well, then you can’t blame them for choosing him,” he laughed. “He sounds like quite the guy.” Shane threw his hand up on my shoulder and gave a squeeze. He knew he didn’t need to say anything in order to support me. “I think we need some shots.” My grin grew wider. Shane certainly knew the way to my heart—booze.

We motioned for the bartender again … and again … and again. The drinks kept coming, and we kept drinking. We sat there for hours just chatting, something we didn’t really have a lot of time for as of late. With Shane working towards becoming partner, and Felix, he really didn’t have time to just be my friend as of late. I understood. I was envious as all get out, but I got it.

I should take a second to clarify that I didn’t want what Shane had per se. Like, I didn’t want Emma—Shane would be the first one to tell you that. Sure, it took some heavy explaining on my part when we returned from Vegas, but I finally made him understand how things had been between Em and I. What I envied about Shane was that he had his shit together—he had it all figured out. He had Emma and Felix, the job, and the money. Let’s face it, he and Rob were the main reasons we could afford our condo. He’d taken the world by the balls but although I was a little green about that, I was also as proud as hell of him. I guess you could say I was having an ‘Emma moment’—like the one she had before turning thirty.

“Thanks for this,” I said as he paid for my drinks. The proud part of me wanted to argue with him, but we both knew I really couldn’t afford to foot the bill this time.

We stood to leave and I felt the effects of the alcohol in my legs. “No problem, buddy, seriously, anytime. But I’m asking for a favor in return.”

“Sure, sure. What do you need?” I would do anything for him, just as I knew he would give me the shirt off his own back.

“Yeah, I’m going to need you to pull one a.m. diaper duty,” he smirked. “Em and I missed our ‘date night’.” He used his fingers to air quote, but I knew what he meant without them. Those two were crazy over each other.

Laughing, we stumbled out onto the sidewalk. “Of course. I’d do anything for that little guy.”

Shane slung his arm on my shoulder, we leaned on each other for support while we walked. “I know you would man.”

We walked quickly back to the condo, Shane was hoping to try and get some alone time in with Emma before Felix woke up for his night feeding. We hushed our voices as we stumbled into the entry, not wanting to disturb Emma, or wake the baby.

We managed to get in and a smile immediately spread across Shane’s face. From the door, I saw Rob and Em huddled up on our nasty futon, watching a movie together. To an outsider it might have appeared to be an intimate moment, but to us it was nothing short of normal. Emma was curled up on the left side, Rob leaning his back against her side.

“Felix asleep?” Shane questioned, wedging himself in between the two of them, making sure to grin at Rob while he did it.

“Dude!” Rob moaned jokingly as he moved toward the other end of the couch. “What do you think you’re doing? You’re fuckin’ with my mojo!”

Shane casually smacked Rob in the back of the head. Even though Shane and Emma had been together for over a year, it didn’t prevent Rob from making his inappropriate and asinine comments. He still brought up the fact that he was the only one to not have had a shot with Emma whenever he drank too much. That usually ended with Emma slapping him across the face while Shane and I laughed from afar.

“He went down about an hour ago.” She paused and kissed Shane’s cheek. “You guys have a good time?”

I flopped down onto the beanbag next to the futon and sighed contentedly. I’d had a great time—the numbness in my legs was a reminder of that. “Don’t we always?”

She laughed and directed her attention back to the movie.

I closed my eyes and started to relax in the silence.

“So Liz called today …” Emma mumbled, directing her conversation toward Shane.

“What did
she
want?” he questioned, knowing full well that Elizabeth only spoke to Emma when she needed something. There had been a time when the sisters were close, but that was ages ago. I could barely remember it myself.

“She’s coming out for a visit,” Emma continued.

Shane sputtered for a moment. “What the hell for?”

“She claims that she wants Felix and Emily to have some cousin time,” Emma sighed. “But I honestly just think she’s lonely.”

“Must be, you’d be the last person she’d want to hang out with.” Shane muttered. I heard Emma playfully slap Shane’s body. They giggled a bit before finally directing their attention to the movie.

I opened my eyes and pretended to be interested in what was on the screen but for some reason my mind kept wandering to Elizabeth. As peculiar as it was, I found myself slightly excited to see her. It’d been years since I’d seen her, but there had been a time when I considered her to be like a sister to me.

I still remembered her as an annoying, but harmless little kid, following us everywhere. But despite constantly having her under foot, I took her under my wing and protected her like she was my own. I understood that nowadays she was the furthest thing from the kid I once knew, but even the most unlikable people deserved a little light in their life. I found myself hoping that everything was okay, and that this visit wasn’t a sign of trouble for her. She deserved everything she had. While her and Emma might not get along the best—and my loyalties definitely lay with Em—deep down, I wanted Elizabeth to be happy, too.

Anger.

Humiliation.

And confusion.

She was in a constant state of all three. How did she get to this place in her life? Why did this have to happen to her?

Sure she’d made poor choices in her life, but who hadn’t? Nobody deserved to be ignored and left alone … right?

Alone. Always.

The phone calls and quick visits don’t constitute a marriage—at least not in her opinion. She wanted an all-consuming love, but she’d lost that a long time ago. She might not have deserved it, but it was what it was—no second chances. This was her life. She’d made the ‘right’ choices and become her mother, just like the good perfect daughter she’d been raised to be.

But for some reason she was always so angry. She knew she couldn’t fly off the handle like that anymore … especially with Emily around. It was nobody’s fault but her own. Hell, even her own mother knew that.

“Choices, Elizabeth. Choices are key in making you into who you are, and who you’ll become.”

But she was finally making a choice for herself. Probably for the first time ever. She’d already talked to Emma who was, for once, doing her best to be supportive. Offering her a place to clear her head—although how anyone managed to think in the city was beyond her.

Exhaustion had set in by the time I found my way back to the condo. The evening broadcast had been hellacious. I fumbled with my keys, anxious to get inside and finally relax. I was sick and tired of being the peon—doing all the leg work and getting none of the glory. Nothing outside of the normal day-to-day bull, and I just wanted a beer … or two … or ten.

On a mission, I dropped my shit by the door and immediately headed for the kitchen. I mindlessly rifled through the fridge until I finally found a lonely beer, shoved way in the back behind a tower of Tupperware that contained some sort of leftovers. I laughed to myself thinking of the irony of the situation. Years ago we’d vowed to never let our beer situation drop to critical levels—we’d promised to always have
at least
six on hand. These days I had no trouble finding breast-milk but I was lucky to locate one beer. So sad.

I cracked it open and immediately began chugging as I made my way towards the living room.

“Hey.”

My heart jumped into my throat and I tripped over my own feet in surprise. Once I gathered myself I looked at the futon to see Elizabeth Sloan—I didn’t know what her married name was, and in fact I didn’t really give a shit—stiffly perched on one end. It had totally slipped my mind that she was going to be in town visiting us—her rugrat in tow.

“Jesus Christ, Half-Pint, you scared the shit out of me,” I groaned, flopping down onto my favorite beanbag.

She cleared her throat, seemingly uncomfortable being in the same room with me. I wondered if the uneasiness was because I’d used my nickname for her. I immediately wanted to take it back, but it was too late. I’d slipped up already.

“Sorry,” she whispered. “Emma left the spare key with the doorman so that when Emily and I got here we could come right up. She knew no one would be here to let me in.”

I shifted my gaze to her direction. It’d been a while since I’d seen her and the last time she’d still been just a kid—well, a teenager, but a kid nonetheless. At seventeen she’d been cute, but now? Damn. She was certainly no kid and was more gorgeous than I remembered. Her short blonde hair framed her round face perfectly. Her tiny little body—despite being hidden behind her “proper” clothes—looked amazing. I shook the thought from my head, and reasoned that I seriously needed to get laid. As of late, I swear I could have caught sight of an old schoolmarm and gotten excited. It was pathetic.

Looking at Elizabeth, I couldn’t really believe that she and Emma were sisters. Sure, they looked alike, but the similarities stopped there. With their clashing personalities and mannerisms, it was apparent to everybody that they were as different as day and night. Emma was a free spirit, always relaxed, whereas, just by looking at Elizabeth, you could tell that she was a tight-ass. But the truth was there had been a time when Elizabeth
had
been more like Emma. She’d been a carefree kid once upon a time. For a while she followed Emma and I everywhere. Emma had found it annoying, but I’d liked it—I’d always wanted a little sister to watch out for. But for whatever reason, Elizabeth had grown up to be too much like their mother, and it was a damn shame.