I Won't Give Up (8 page)

“Yeah.”

“Don’t do anything like that again alright.”

“Whatever you say there Cooper.”

“I’m serious.”

“I know, I’m sorry.” I closed my eyes and drifted into a troubled sleep.

CHAPTER THREE

Please Don’t

Stop, please don’t.
I pleaded.

I felt shaking.

“Fiona wake up it’s just a dream.” I opened my eyes to see Cooper standing next to the bed looking horrified. “You okay?” The
concern
in his voice made the dam break free
,
everything I’d been holding in for the last three months just came pouring out
, again
. Cooper knelt down next to the bed and gently rubbed my back only making me sob harder. What was wrong with me? I needed to stop this path of self-destruction.
I didn’t even know who I was anymore.
He stood up and walked away. He left, they always leave. My body was shaking and I was having a hard time catching my breath when he came back carrying a box of tissues and a bottle of water. He handed them to me. I patted the bed next to me I just wanted to be held if only for a little while
,
I needed the feeling of closeness. He sat next to me and I laid my head on his chest while the waterworks continued.
I must’ve fallen asleep at some point because when I woke up it was light out and my head was pounding something fierce.
Cooper was still in bed, his arm wrapped protectively around me.
The sunlight was filtering through the blinds and I finally got to get a good look at his face
since
I was always trying not to stare
at him
. He really was handsome. He looked like something you would see in an old movie. I looked at his free arm, which was covered in different tattoos that all entwined into one masterpiece, then I looked at his chest which had even more ink. I saw a quote on his ribcage.

“
I’ve loved the stars too fondly to be afraid of the dark. ~Galileo
”

I realized that I
too
had been living in the dark for far too long and needed to make some changes.
I looked at the clock it was just after six in the morning.
I shook him awake.

“Cooper, I really need to get home.” He looked at me sleepily and I really didn’t want to leave.

“M-kay just give me another minute.” He
said pulling me closer and I gave in to the warmth and decided I could give myself a few more minutes of happiness. He looked down at me and our faces inched closer together unti
l our lips touched. It was the best kiss I’d ever had even though there was nothing dirty about
it
but I did lightly bite his lip where his spider bite piercing was. When we pulled away
it almost felt as if it sealed a bond between us.
I felt myself relax for the first time in months.
We
snuggled as close as we could get to one another
and fell back asleep.

I
woke up to hear banging and watching the bedroom door fly open.

“Unbelievable!” Tabby roared.

“How did you get in here?” Cooper asked
sitting up
shocked
.

“Your dad let me in. I was worried about you all night. I tried calling you and texting you. You said you’d be right back and then you just disappeared.”

“Tabby now’s not a really good time. Can we talk later?”

“I can’t believe I let you have your way and then you go and do this? You’re supposed to be my boyfriend.”
She shrieked.
Ugh, he screwed
her last night and here I am all snuggled up with him. I jumped out of bed grabbed my skirt and shoes and headed downstairs
and out the door ignoring the
very shocked
look from who I assume is Cooper
’
s dad
.
How could I let myself be so stupid, again! I fished my phone out of my skirt pocket and called Luke.

“Where are you? I’ve been driving around all morning looking for you. No one’s seen you.”
He sounded like he was having a panic attack.

“I’m on Magnolia heading towards Wilson.”

“I’m about five minutes from there. I’ll be there soon. What happened last night?”

“I really don’t want to talk about it. Let’s just say I saw the light last night and I’m changing my ways and we’ll leave it at that for now.”

“Glad to hear that but still I was losing my mind last night when you didn’t call or text. That’s not like you.”
“I had to much to drink and fell asleep.”

“I see you.” He said as he hung up and pulled around the corner. I heard the motorcycle pull up behind me and shut off while he was pushing it with his feet tr
ying to keep pace with me, it
turned into more of a sprint towards the Range Rover.

“Fiona
,
please talk to me.” Cooper pleaded.

“There’s nothing to say. It was a lapse in my judgment and it
will not
happen again.” I climbed into the Range Rover and slammed the door in Coopers face.
“Drive.”
I shouted.

“You slept with Cooper?”
He asked shocked.

“Yes, I
mean no. I slept there,
I had a nightmare, we kissed and we ended up falling asleep together but nothing else. Then
this morning
Tabby
came storming in
. It would seem
she got her vagina, I mean claws into him earlier last night.”

“Man, Fiona I’m sorry. She’s such a bitch. I tried to warn him, honest.”

“It’s fine, I’m over it.” I said before shutting my eyes and willing the drive home to go as fast as possible.

Finally we pulled into the driveway and I rushed upstai
rs still wearing Cooper’s shirt.
I ripped it off and threw it on the floor grabbing a pair of pajamas from my dresser I hastily put them on and climbed back into bed and cried myself to sleep. When I finally woke up it was after one in the afternoon. I went into my bathroom and turned on the shower needing to get the rest of Cooper off of me. When I was done I walked into my room and looked at my phone there was five missed calls and a slew of texts from Cooper.

Please talk to me.

Don’t shut me out Fiona. It’s not what you think.

Wow original. I’ve heard that before. I believe that’s what my mom said to my mom
when Gigi first came to town
.

Fiona please just let me know you’re okay.
I’m worried.

His texts were growing more frantic.

If you don’t at least text me back I’m coming there. I don’t know where there is yet but it can’t be that hard to find out.

Great, just what I need. I quickly texted him back.

I’m home, I’m fine, lose my #!

Then it dawned on me how the hell did he get my number in the first place…

I was so confused. I wanted to forget but I promised myself I wasn’t going to let myself get drunk anymore
. I felt hurt and betrayed but did I really even have a right to feel that way? It’s not like we were dating, we kissed and sure it was an amazing kiss but I had no claim to him like Tabby did
, nor did I want one
. I looked around my mess of a room and decided I would clean it would help keep my mind occupied.
I needed music because the quiet seemed to do nothing but scream the
bitter
truth.
I walked over to my iPod dock and put my Gaslight Anthem playlist on and turned the volume up. I was singing loudly and off key when I looked to see the door open and Cooper leaning in the doorway.

“How’d you get in?”
I practically screamed, he scared the shit out of me.

“Luke.”
He said with a smug look on his face.

“That traitor.”
Luke was sooo getting payback.

“Just needed to make sure you were fine for myself. I really to have some explaining to do.”
He looked stressed.
“No you don’t. I have no claim to you, nor do I want one. It’s fine, really.” I lied hoping I could keep my emotions in check.

“
Can
I come in?
Please.
”
He pleaded.

“I’d
rather you didn’t but if you insis
t.” He came in and walked over to the iPod dock and turned the music down
until it was background noise
.

“
I love Gaslight.
” He smiled. At least he had good taste in music.
“
Can we sit?”

“This really isn’t necessary Cooper. I get it.”

“No Fiona I really don’t think you do.” He looked uncomfortable as we both sat on the edge of my bed. “I didn’t sleep with Tabitha, I swear on my mother’s grave. Th
e kiss you saw that was all her.
I didn’t want it to happen. I know you’re too good for the likes of me but it doesn’t mean that a guy can’t dream. I would love to get the chance to get to know you, the real you.”
His mother’s grave?

“I don’t even know who the real me is anymore.
I’m broken Cooper. I don’t trust anyone, myself included. Just
forget me
.
”

“I can’t Fiona. I’m drawn to y
ou like
a flame. Please let’s just try and b
e friends, that’s enough for now
, I promise
.
I will get you to trust me you’ll see.” He leaned over and kissed my cheek and was out the door before I could give him an answer. 

I really wished I wasn’t
so fucked up, that I could trust him. I wanted to but I just couldn’t let myself get hurt anymore than I already was
;
I don’t
think my heart can
take it.

Over t
he next couple
weeks Cooper
was relentless in his pursuit
. He had been doing his research on me and was doing really sweet things like
making me CD’s,
leaving little quotes and notes in my locker.

I opened my locker and there was a
stuffed
unicorn in it with a note attached.

Fiona,

Please give me a chance.
It will be all rainbows and uni
corns.
             
             
~Cooper

Damn Casey for telling him I always told her she shit rainbows and unicorns cause she was always
so damn happy;
the eternal optimist.
He texted me “sweet dreams” every night at ten-thirty like clockwork
.
I could feel him
slowly
wearing me down
.
One day he even left me a can of unicorn meat as a gag gift.
I was in third period when
I felt my phone go off. It was a text from Cooper.

Hey m
y dad wants to take us out to dinner tonight.
(i
t’s the five-
month anniversary of losing my mom)
It would mean a lot.
Pick you up @ 7?

Ugh
,
I didn’t want to
do
dinner with his dad but I was pretty much out of excuses
and
now that I knew it was five
month anniversary of his mom being gone and I couldn’t even imagine the pain that he was experiencing
.
I should be there for him tonight…

Fine. C U @ 7

When I got home I practically ran to my closet to look for something to wear. Why is it that even with an entire closet full of clothes I still can’t find anything to wear! I finally settled on a black corset type dress that had a tulle skirt, which made it look
whipsy
. I added a red leather jacket and black ankle boots that had a really cute heel. I
curled
my hair and hoped for the best. At exactly seven the doorbell rang. I t
ook a deep breath and opened it,
Cooper handed me a bouquet of calla lilies
and red roses, my favorite. I noticed his breath intake when he finally looked me over; I took that as a good thing. He had on a pair of light denim jeans and a fitted black button up with his usual black boots.
He looked so handsome it literally made my heart speed up.