“I’d already lost one family, I didn’t want to lose the one I’d created at school. I was so afraid to risk you turning your back on me.”
Rory pointed a finger at him, and Justice winced as if it had poked him in the chest. “That right there. That’s why I’m angry. The fact that you actually thought it would
be
a risk. I thought you knew me better than that, Jus.”
Now Rory just looked sad and disappointed, and Justice’s heart broke. He hoped he hadn’t broken their friendship as well. “I’m sorry,” he said quietly, because there wasn’t really much else to say.
“I know.” Rory sighed and scrubbed a hand over his two-day scruff. “I get that you were trying to protect yourself. I just need some time to get over the fact that you thought you couldn’t trust me.”
Justice raised his head abruptly and his gaze snapped back to Rory. “You mean we’re still gonna be friends.”
Rory rolled his eyes and Justice’s pulse pounded, because maybe, just maybe, he wasn’t losing his best friend. “Of course we are, idiot. I just need a little time to get over being mad at you.”
Sagging against the chair, Justice breathed a sigh of relief. “And then you have to deal with the whole me being gay thing.”
“Yeah, that is kind of a paradigm-shifting revelation. But we’ll deal with it. It’s what best friends do. Are you okay if I leave you alone now? I’ve got to go kick Rich’s pinstriped ass.”
* * * *
Nic wasn’t sure what had woken him. He looked around his dark cabin, listening, but all he heard was the rhythmic slapping of the waves against the hull. Nothing was out of place in the darkness, but something was amiss all the same. Nic’s ‘spidey sense’ was pinging, and it caused his heart to start tapping a rapid cadence against his ribs.
He pulled on some sweats and padded barefoot through the galley and out to the foredeck. He looked out onto the pier but couldn’t see much, as the security light had burned out two nights ago.
Nic was about to go inside when one of the shadows below the light post moved ever so slightly.
Fuck
. He grabbed a flashlight that was hanging beside the gangway, and carefully climbed down. Shining the light towards the post, Nic startled when the beam swept over the figure of a man.
It was Justice. He was still wearing the suit that Nic assumed he’d worn to the dinner party, but it was rumpled and bedraggled. His dress shirt was half untucked and while his tie was still knotted, it was loosened and hung limp around his neck. If he didn’t look like hammered shit, Nic would think he’d just hooked up with someone else.
The reality was a lot scarier. This was the worst Nic had ever seen Justice looking. He was so pale, he was almost translucent. His damp brown hair stood up at odd ends, his eyes were wild and glassy with dark shadows around them, and sweat beaded along his brow and temples. Even at a distance, in the dim light, Nic could see him shivering. And he smelled like vomit.
Nic’s heart lurched. Something had happened. Something bad. He was dying to find out right then; the unfamiliar feeling of anxiety crept up on him. But first, he had to take care of his man. He wasn’t sure when or how it had become his job to take care of Justice —he just accepted it as fact.
Nic walked over to Justice, shoved a shoulder under his armpit and snaked an arm around his waist. “C’mon. Let’s get you inside.”
He just wanted to hold Justice; to wrap him up, keep him safe, and fix whatever was wrong. But he knew Justice would want to clean up first. When they got back to his quarters, Nic steered him to the private en suite washroom. He ran a hand down Justice’s spine and nudged him into the little room.
“Take a nice hot shower, baby. There’s a fresh toothbrush in the medicine cabinet.” Justice nodded numbly, and Nic leaned forward to kiss his temple. “I’ll leave you some sweats just outside the door. When you’re cleaned up, come on back and we’ll talk. Or not. Whatever you want.”
Justice leaned into him and sighed, heavy and world-weary. “Thanks.”
Nic nodded and backed out of the room before he pushed for something the kid wasn’t ready to give. Instead, he dug some sweats out of the bureau and left them for Justice. Then he attempted to straighten his bed so that it wasn’t the giant heap of linens he’d woken up in.
He pushed the pile of pillows up against the headboard, and leaned his back against it. While listening and waiting for Justice, Nic ran the gamut in his mind of what could have happened tonight. He kept coming up with the same conclusion, but he’d need Justice to fill in the how and the why of it.
In the dark, Nic heard the shower cut off, and a few minutes later the sink started running. He forced himself to remain calm as he heard the door open and shut when Justice grabbed the clothes.
After a couple of minutes, Justice came out, wearing nothing but Nic’s sweatpants that bagged a little on his slender hips. Nic tamped down the shot of lust that raced through his body, and the surge of possessiveness that came from seeing his man wearing his clothes.
Justice crossed his arms over a chest that was slightly concave, like he was crumpling right before Nic’s eyes.
Like hell
, Nic thought. Somebody had stolen his boy’s light.
Nic patted the bed beside him, urging Justice to come sit. And so he did. He sat beside Nic without touching, pulling his knees up and wrapping his arms around them.
“Hey,” Nic said.
Shudder. Sigh. “Hey,” Justice answered.
“You want to tell me what happened?”
“Rich outed me to Rory.” Justice’s voice was tinny, as if Nic was hearing it through a bad telephone connection. “In front of everyone.”
Nic sighed, feeling sick. He can only imagine what kind of panic attack that caused. “That little shit. Rich, not Rory. Obviously.” He was actually kind of babbling. What did you say to someone who’d just had their life blown apart? “What did Rory say?”
“After I finished puking, he came to talk to me. He was pissed.”
Nic’s entire body clenched up, ready to do battle.
Some fucking friend
. “He was pissed that you’re gay? What a homophobic jackass!”
“No, no, that’s what I thought at first, too. I thought for sure he was going to think back on all the times I’d seen him in various states of undress, and deck me but good.”
“He didn’t.”
“No, he didn’t. He was pissed that I never told him. But more importantly, he was pissed that I thought telling him would be a risk, like it was ridiculous to think he’d be anything but okay with it.”
“Huh.”
“In hindsight, of course he’s right. But there’s nothing I can do about it now.”
“Guess not. All you can do is take what you’ve got and try to move on. Is Rory still, you know, gonna get over it?”
Justice smiled then. It was a small, brittle smile, but it was something. “Yeah, he is. He said best friends stick around —that once he got over being pissed at me, we’d still be friends.”
“That’s really good.”
“Yeah. I just… I fell apart. I’ve never felt such fear. Not even when I told my parents. It’s not even so much the coming out, but rather the loss of control. It felt like I was shoved off a cliff. Out of a plane without a parachute. Something.”
“Christ,” Nic spat. Truly at a loss for words, he searched out Justice’s hand and gripped it hard. “So…what now?”
Justice took a deep breath and when he looked at Nic, Nic could see his face clearly in the moonlight that shone through the porthole. He looked a little less haggard, a little less lost. In fact, what Nic saw might have been something like acceptance.
“I guess I just move on from here. It will take some getting used to, not hiding, and I’m sure there are battles left to fight…but it’s kind of liberating.”
He flashed Nic a genuine grin, one that turned feral in the shadows. Without a word, Justice stood up and tugged on Nic’s hand to get him to stand up as well. Nic almost swallowed his tongue when Justice hooked his index fingers in Nic’s sweats and yanked them down. Just that easily, Nic’s cock sprang to life, realizing the time for talking was done.
Just as quickly, Justice stepped out of his own sweats. His skin was luminous, shining as if it had its own light source. Actually, Justice’s entire body had a lightness to it that hadn’t existed before. The world had lifted from his shoulders.
“You wanna know what I think?” he asked Nic.
“What?” Nic croaked, aroused beyond belief.
Justice stepped forward, planted a hand on Nic’s chest and pushed him backward onto the bed. He landed on his back with a bounce, and immediately propped himself up on his elbows to watch the show.
“I think…” Justice said as he stalked toward the bed, “…that since the whole goddamn world knows I’m gay now, I might as well fucking enjoy the hell out of it, yeah?”
“Uh huh,” Nic said, enraptured. He licked his dry lips as Justice began crawling over him on hands and knees, blissfully naked, until they were eye to eye. Nic shivered when Justice’s hard cock brushed against his own.
This was it. Justice was gaining confidence and he was going to want to top. Nic was one of those rare men that truly enjoyed both equally. Because he was tall and muscular, most guys assumed he was a top. But he’d topped Justice because Justice’s body had been practically begging for it. Nic had suspected that Jus was a power bottom in the making, so Nic was a little surprised at the dominant behavior. Turned on? Hell yes. But also surprised.
And then Justice blew his fucking mind. He sat back on his haunches and burned a hole through Nic’s skull with his gaze.
“Remember all that stuff you said you wanted to do, back at the restaurant?”
Nic merely nodded, beyond words.
“That’s what we’re going to do.” He punctuated the words by grinding his hips, teasing Nic with delicious friction.
Nic sucked in a breath and let his head fall back. Christ, Justice would be the death of him.
“You got stuff?”
Nic jerked his chin toward the bedside table. “Top drawer.” He closed his eyes, hearing rather than seeing Justice getting out the lube and condoms. When he felt Justice’s weight drop back down on him, straddling him, Nic cracked his eyelids open.
He watched, mesmerized, in some kind of dream-state, as Justice stretched and slicked himself. He lay flat on his back, giving up control to Justice, because God knew the man needed some after the day he’d had.
Not that Nic was complaining. Nope, not even a little. He groaned as Justice rolled the condom down on him and drizzled lube on his cock. Justice raised himself up with lean yet powerful thighs, positioned Nic’s cock at his hole, and sank down on one long thrust.
“Jesus,
fuck!
” Nic yelped, because
damn
, Justice was still so tight. His velvety channel damn near clenched Nic’s orgasm right out of him. He gritted his teeth and tried to rein it back. He wanted to let Justice play. And hell if he didn’t love the confident, even smug, look on Justice’s face that replaced the miserable one from an hour ago.
“Hang on, baby,” Justice said. “It’s gonna get rough.”
“Christ,” Nic hissed. He stretched his arms above his head and gripped the headboard. “Do your worst, kid.”
It seemed like this fuck was going to be quick and dirty; no blowjobs or kissing, no foreplay of any kind. Nic was pretty all right with it. As long as it made Justice happy and they both got off, it was what he wanted. It didn’t hurt that Justice looked hot as fuck straddling Nic, rising up on his knees and slowly dropping down repeatedly.
Nic had to go to a place outside of himself —sort of an out of body experience —to keep from shooting off immediately. It was as if he was watching them from above, observing Justice’s sleek form taking his own pleasure from Nic’s body.
Grunting, Justice shoved his hips down hard, and Nic saw stars. Justice leaned back slightly to brace his hands on Nic’s thighs while he swiveled his hips in a merciless rhythmic roll.
Nic enjoyed seeing Justice’s low-hanging balls rub his stomach, and Justice’s hard cock slap his own abdomen as he rapidly moved up and down. Justice ran his hands over his lean, cut chest and pinched his own nipples. Nic growled with the need to do it for him —with his teeth. Then one of Justice’s hands continued down along the vee of muscle that pointed to his equipment, and he gripped his cock and balls, lifting so that Nic could see his own cock sliding in and out of Justice’s stretched hole. Nic contorted enough to reach down and tease the skin there with a single finger.
Justice closed his eyes and tipped his head back, so that all Nic could see of his face was his slender neck and chiseled jawline. That view alone was enough to make his cock jump inside Justice’s ass. Impossibly aroused, Nic dug his heels into the mattress and thrust up with his hips, meeting Justice on the downstroke. He’d apparently hit a happy place for Justice, because he sat up ramrod straight and shuddered.
When his wide green eyes opened again, they sparked with something fierce, and Nic had a feeling he was in for it. Justice leaned forward, wrapping one long-fingered hand around Nic’s neck at the clavicle, and placed another over Nic’s hand on the headboard. Then he crushed his mouth over Nic’s as he began riding in earnest, providing a different sort of friction between them.