I Never Thought I'd See You Again: A Novelists Inc. Anthology (37 page)

“Janie, you’re killin’ me.”

“Good.” She kept up the sweet abrasion of his body for a long time.

Finally, she took his penis between her palms and massaged him as he’d taught her to do.

He moaned. “Jesus, baby…”

She kept up the motions, shifting subtly, until he grasped onto her hips. “ her so-called friends their your Now,” he growled.

Smiling, she went up on her knees and straddled him. Slowly, easily, he lifted her further and settled her on him. Her pulse skyrocketed at how full and feminine she felt.

“I love this part,” he whispered raggedly. “When I’m first inside you.”

“Me, too.” Like most everything else, they were on the same wavelength about sex.

She began to move. She increased the speed in tiny increments. His grip on her hips tightened and he helped escalate her movements. Groans of pleasure rumbled out of him as all his muscles tightened.

Her body was in sync with his. She felt the spiral build and build and build until he gave one last thrust. He started first and she joined him with bursts of light, color, and sensation floating around her. The same gentle completion consumed them.

After they’d climaxed, he pushed a few more times, causing aftershocks to rock through her. Sounds of pleasure echoed from him, too.

He eased her off him and down onto the bed. Tugged her into the crook of his shoulder. Entangled their legs.

Jane liked this valley as much as the peaks. She felt him kiss her hair and murmur sleepily, “There. That’s just what I needed.”

Me too,
she thought. She was where she belonged and was going to stay here, regardless of their differences.

“Rye?”

“Hmm?”

“I’ll try to let you have your own feelings about your dad.”

“Me, too. I’ll be better at letting you have yours.”

Turning her nose into his chest, she vowed they’d get through this drama of his father’s return.

The sound of the doorbell woke them. Riley stirred first. Glancing at the clock, he saw it was ten a.m. Not too early for company, but inconvenient as hell.

“Who’s that?” Janie’s voice was fuzzy.

“God knows. I’ll get up.”

He grabbed for his sweats and T-shirt again, dressed, and headed to the foyer barefoot. Checking the front window, he saw his mother’s car in the driveway. She was always circumspect and never invaded their privacy, so he’d tease her a bit.

Pulling open the door, he said sassily, “Do you even want to know what you interrupted, Mave darlin’?”

His mother’s face blanked and she just stared at him.

Uh-oh.

“Mom, I was kidding.” He kissed her on the cheek. This was another woman he loved deeply.

“Rye, we have to talk. And I have to say, I’m not happy with you.”

That’s what she’d said since he was young and did something wrong.
Riley Benjamin Gallagher, I’m not happy right now.

Through his sex-induced and sleep-caused haze, it took him until she said the words to they wouldd fas remember what happened.

“I got a call from the hospital. How
could
you not tell me your father showed up last night?”

Staring at the woman who gave birth to him, Riley tried to choose his words carefully. In the past, he’d managed to keep from her his anger and despair over what his dad had done and be there for her and Abby. “I’m sorry if I upset you.”

“I don’t want an apology. I want to know why you didn’t call me right away.”

“Janie was subbing on my group. She fell through a floor. I was busy taking care of her.”

Mave’s eyes rounded. “Is she all right?”

“Yes, she’s still asleep.”

“That’s good.” His mother hesitated. “Honey, I know you had a lot of feelings about your dad you didn’t share with me in the past. But I also know my son better than you think. You suffered the most over what he did; you two were so close because of the fire department.”

He ran a hand through his hair. “You knew? I didn’t want to hurt you with my feelings.” He watched her for a moment. “But now that it’s out, and especially now that you’ve been through with him for years, I’ll confess that I have no intention of seeing him. I assumed you’d feel the same, so why even tell you he was in town?”

Her eyes misted. His father had hurt her irrevocably. “I had a right to know.”

“Janie thought so, too. Maybe I was wrong. Who told you?”

“The hospital called me. Just said your father was there and gave me next of kin.”

“You divorced.”

“Technically.”

His stomach clenched. It had been in a permanent knot for months during the aftermath of his father’s admission. “What does that mean?”

“Oh, honey, I’ve never stopped loving the man. After twenty five years of marriage, you don’t let go easily. Could you ever stop loving Jane if you split?”

“No, of course not. But this is different.” And he was horrified at her confession. “After the shame he brought on us all?”

“Shame is a useless emotion. What I felt was deep sadness. The shame was all yours.”

Had she told him that before? “Fine, it was mine. And Abby’s. Her husband’s a cop, for God’s sake. Imagine what he had to endure.”

“This is such old ground, honey.” She shook her head, her pretty auburn hair, shot with a bit of gray, moving with the motion. “And no, Abby and Aiden didn’t feel shame. They were overwrought at what he’d done but saw him as a man who’d made a terrible mistake and lost everything.”

“Mom, he loved gambling more than us.” Riley hated how whiny he sounded.

“Oh, honey, no.”

“Yes. He got in over his head and racked up so much debt they wouldd fashe was forced commit a crime. God, he helped Steele hurt the fire department, which we
all
love.”

“He was weak, I’ll give you that. But did you ever think what it did to him to know how he failed us?”

“No. I refuse to.” He came to the edge of his seat. “Mom, where is all of this going? Why are we dredging it up? We never fight about anything.”

For some reason, she checked her watch. “Because I’m on my way to the hospital to pick him up. Abby’s meeting me there. I thought you might have forgiven him enough to go with us.”

He felt cold dread seep through him, a feeling he’d lived with for a long time and hoped never to experience again. “I can’t.”

She gave him a pitying look. “I’m sorry to hear that. You’ve lived for years with your anger and resentment. I’m sure it’s doing awful things to you, inside.” She stood. “I’m leaving. If you want to know how everything is, you can call me.”

“Wait.” He stood, too. Her face showed rays of hope and he hated disappointing her. “He’s homeless. He was with a lot of other vagrants in that building.”

“It doesn’t matter. I’m taking him to the house he paid for.”

Riley stilled. “Jesus Christ, Mom. You can’t do that.”

She cupped his cheek with her palm. “Yes, dear, I can.” Her gaze strayed to something behind him. “Oh, Janie, hi.”

“I was listening.” He turned to see Jane dressed in sweats, hair tousled and eyes troubled.

“Good. Maybe you can get somewhere with my son. It’s time to put his father’s sins behind us.”

Please let her stand by me, God, please.

“I’m sorry, Rye, I agree with your mother.”

They took a hilly path on the outskirts of town, running as if their lives depended on it. After last night’s fall, Jane was having trouble keeping up. Earlier today, when she told the truth — damn it, he’d said he’d let her have her feelings — he’d walked out of the room, went to the bedroom and changed into running clothes. He’d come back down after Mave left, told Jane he was going out for a jog, and she followed him. They hadn’t talked for three miles. “Wait for a minute, will you?” she said, stopping.

“If you can’t keep up, I’ll just go ahead. You rest here.”

Rarely did she purposely manipulate him. But today he needed it. “You wouldn’t be able to keep up either, if you fell through the floor of a burning building.”

He halted immediately. For their whole lives, whenever she needed him, he was there for her. In high school when the football team teased him about dating a nerd, he took them on one by one. When her mother had run off with another man, he’d consoled her. And she couldn’t have made it through her father’s death if he hadn’t stayed with her every minute. With the exception of his stubbornness about his d what comes next?”y voad, he always put her first. So she wasn’t surprised when he said, “You look exhausted. You shouldn’t be running.”

“I came along because I want to talk.”

“I don’t.”

“Tough shit. I told you earlier, we’re not letting this happen again.”

He stared at her.

She said, “This is how it started off the last time. Not communicating. Staying away from me as much as you could.”

“I had to. Turning in to myself was the only way I could deal with what happened. And I didn’t want to hurt you anymore by fighting about him.”

“I’m not letting you shut me out, Riley. I’m not letting you turn into a jerk, and almost ruin our life together because of your father.”

“Well, excuse me,” he said, kicking the dirt like a little kid who’d just gotten scolded. “The man shamed us in front of the whole town, in addition to hurting our fellow firefighters.
You
should be more upset than you are.”

That stung. “So much for letting me have my own feelings about that.”

“Right back at ya.”

She raised her chin. “I’m comfortable with my feelings about your dad.”

“Because he took you in when your father died.”

“Partly. But he was a good man with a disease.”

“I could live with a man who had a disease. But not what he did to our guys.”

“It has the same origin.”

“No, it doesn’t.”

Once again, she found her anger spiking. How could such a wonderful man be so myopic about something? “Rye, he’s back. Your mother told me she’s taking him home. And that Abs was excited about seeing him.”

“Well, he has a way with women. I’ll bet he cheated on Mom, too.”

Like her mother had cheated — and he knew how Jane felt about that. She turned and walked away. She’d only taken a few steps when he caught up to her, grasped her arm and pulled her around. “I’m sorry. That was thoughtless. I didn’t mean for that to come up. But now that it has, have you ever forgiven her?”

“It’s not the same thing, and you know it. And that you’d use that against me to win an argument sucks big time.”

He just stared at her. So she gave in. Moving closer, she circled his neck with her arms. “You need help. Go see Jack Harrison.” The department shrink. “Talk out your feelings, your anger and hurt. Otherwise you’ll never be rid of what’s obviously gnawed at you inside for seven years.”

That was the same advice she’d given him when the incident happened. “I can’t, Janie. It hurts too much to dredge this all up.”

“It’s hurting you anyway. This thing is like backdraft. Suddenly you turn around and the fire6">

She said simply, “You already are hurting me.” She started back down the trail.

This time, he didn’t come after her.

Tony Ramirez was a great guy. Everybody loved having him as the officer in their group. He was fair and caring. Riley had spent some time with him and his family, and he loved their kids, especially the baby, Nia. He even insisted he and Jane babysit her sometimes. Riley had wanted kids for years now, but Jane kept delaying, and of course, the decision was more hers than his. “Come in my office for a few minutes, will you Gallagher?”

“Sure.”

Once they were seated in the small space, Tony stared over at Riley. “I’ll come right to the point. Something’s eating at you. You’ve been quiet since the shift started yesterday. I don’t mean to pry, but if you want to talk, it’ll stay confidential unless it hinders your performance.”

“No, I’m okay.”

“I don’t think you are. Things happen in our lives we can’t control and they affect us. I’ve been there.” He waited. “I left the line a couple of years ago because of something that seemed insurmountable at the time.”

Riley had heard that before he became officer for this shift, the lieutenant had taken a teaching position at the Academy because of his wife. He never knew all the details.

As if Tony read his mind, he asked, “Is it Jane? I got a pretty good understanding of relationships. Sophia and I met in high school, like you two did.”

“I didn’t know that. And yeah, it’s Jane, at least partly.” He thought about the last few days since his mother came over and how he and Jane had been distant. How he’d avoided her on their whole tour off. How last night, he heard her crying in the bathroom, which just about killed him, especially when he tried to get inside and she locked him out.

“We’re not getting along is all.”

“People say the same thing about you two as they do about me and Sophia. You’re a match made in heaven.”

“I know. But something’s come between us.” Had been between them for seven years, he guessed.

“Does finding your father in that abandoned building have anything to do with it?”

He felt himself closing down, so he nodded and said, “I can’t talk about it.”

“I know what he did. I know he spent two years in jail. But I heard he went to the city.”

Riley stood. “Sorry, Tony, I just can’t.”

“Okay, but remember what I said about this affecting your job.” Riley started away. “Wait a sec.” He fished for a something in his drawer and handed Riley a card. “This is Jack Harrison’s number. He helped us through some rough waters.” there the whole time., Gr

Riley took the card and walked out of the office thinking,
Jesus, the fucker
is
affecting my job
.

His phone rang as en. Jane’s number. He clicked on, needing to hear from her. “Hey, sweetie,” he said, hoping the whole strain between them would just blow over and they could be who they were four days ago.

“Hi, Rye. Listen, Claire Anderson’s kid is sick. I’m going to sub for her on the day shift tomorrow.”

Some of the guys were around the table, so he walked through the kitchen door out to the backyard and sat on top of a picnic table. It was dark but he needed the privacy and the evening was warm. “Did you already agree?”