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Authors: Unknown
reached for the brown patterned Indian muslin Emily had chosen
for her at Madame Wallace’s.
«You were the one who encouraged me to defy him, so why
this sudden change of heart?»
Emily frowned at her. «Because I don’t want you to get hurt
again and disappear.»
Jane reached out to clasp Emily’s gloved hands. «You won’t
lose me. I’m a much stronger person than I was then. I’ll never
lose faith in myself like that again.»
Emily’s smile returned. «You’d better not, or I won’t come
after you this time.» She sighed. «All right, I probably will, but
you’d have to beg awfully hard to make me forgive you this
time.»
«And I would beg, Emily, never doubt it. I don’t want to lose
you either.» Jane knelt on the carriage floor and turned her back
so that Emily could tie her laces and the three buttons at the top
of the bodice. She flinched when Emily touched her throat.
«What have we here? A love bite? Have you and Minshom
actually been... ?»
«Been what?» Jane struggled to her feet and sat down opposite
Emily again. «Biting each other?»
«Are you actually blushing, Jane?» Emily gave her a sly wink.
«Perhaps I was wrong in my assumptions. Obviously you are
more than capable of bringing Minshom to heel without any
assistance from me.»
«I wish it were that simple.» Jane sighed. «So far all he’s
proved to me is that I am still a fool where he is concerned. He
just has to look at me and I’m contemplating climbing into bed
with him and doing anything he wants.»
«But that’s good, isn’t it? Isn’t that what you want?»
«Not on his terms, Emily. I’d be selling myself to him for
nothing.» After last night’s adventure, Jane realized the truth of
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that anew. What on earth was she going to do to stop herself
craving him?
She smiled at Emily, determined to forget her irritating
husband and enjoy her outing. «Where exactly are we going
today?»
«To visit my orphans school and then have lunch together?»
«That sounds delightful.» Jane smoothed the fine fabric of her
new gown and pulled a face. «Perhaps I should’ve kept my old
gown on after all.»
«It’s all right, Jane. You don’t actually have to do anything
except look gracious and smile.»
Jane shot her friend a mischievous look. «And when have I
ever managed to do that? You know I’ll want to play with them.»
She took another glance at her discarded dress. «I think you’d
better help me change back after all.»
«Good morning, my lord.»
Minshom raised his head and stared steadily at his valet. He’d
got up and dressed unaided, had breakfast and started work, all
without Robert’s assistance. In truth, he’d instructed Broadman
not to let Robert into his study until he was summoned. Robert
had obviously made an effort to look his sartorial best this
morning. His cravat was ironed, his auburn hair tamed and he
wore his favorite brown coat. If it hadn’t been for the telltale rash
from another man’s stubble on his face, he might almost have
looked respectable.
«Good morning, Robert. Did you have a good night?»
Robert sighed. «You know I got back here just after you did.
You simply locked me out of your rooms.»
«Did I? Maybe I assumed you’d be too busy expressing
undying love to the extremely dull Captain Gray to come home.»
«I wouldn’t do that, sir.»
«Why not? The man is obviously infatuated with you.»
Robert met his gaze, his brown eyes steady. «You know why,
sir.»
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«Because of me?»
«Yes, sir. I was worried about you.»
A spark of anger ignited low in Minshom’s gut. «Did you
think I’d use my wife as a substitute for you?»
Robert briefly closed his eyes. «Please tell me you didn’t, sir?
Minshom smiled at the anxiety in his voice. «She certainly
made me come in a rather painful manner, if that is what you
mean, but she didn’t provide quite what I needed.»
«Perhaps that is for the best, my lord. Perhaps with her
ladyship here you no longer need me to...»
«Fight with?» Minshom paused. «Lady Minshom isn’t staying,
Robert.»
«But if she did, sir?»
Minshom hated the gleam of hope in Robert’s brown eyes and
moved to crush it. «You are tired of catering to my needs, then?
You no longer wish to give me sexual satisfaction?»
«My lord, this isn’t fair. I never said that, I just hoped you had
found someone else who loves you enough to help you Robert
trailed off.
«To help me.» Minshom echoed, his gaze on his lover’s
flushed face. «I know you hate ‘helping me,’ Robert. Why do you
still do it?»
«Because I love you, sir?»
«And if I told you I didn’t care, that your ‘love’ means nothing
to me?»
Robert half-smiled. «I wouldn’t believe you.»
Minshom glanced down at his hands, which were folded
tightly together on his desk. He was becoming tired of Jane and
Robert assuming that somehow they meant something to him.
He didn’t need anybody, didn’t deserve anybody’s loyalty and
certainly had nothing to give back except pain.
After his dealings with Jane, he’d needed Robert last night,
but even though he’d just had to unlock the door and Robert
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would come, he hadn’t done it. Sometimes his own desires
disgusted him. He slowly raised his head.
«Robert, did it ever occur to you that the debt you think you
owe me is false?»
«You saved my life. If you hadn’t intervened, your father
would’ve beaten me to death.»
«I doubt it.»
«I don’t. I wasn’t a true member of The Little Gentleman’s
Club; I was just some lower class thing for you all to practice on.
I was expendable. No one would’ve asked any awkward
questions if I’d disappeared.»
«Perhaps I didn’t save you for the reasons you believe.»
Robert frowned. «I don’t understand, sir.»
«Perhaps I saved you because I wanted that beating, wanted to
show my father that I was tougher than you were, that I could
take anything he or the other boys could hand out to me.»
«I’m not sure that makes the outcome any different, does it?»
Robert shrugged. «You still saved my life.»
Minshom stared at him. «I didn’t care whether you lived or
died. All I cared about was myself. That’s all I’ve ever cared
about.»
A flush mounted on Robert’s pale skin. «You think I don’t
know that, sir? I’ve never had any illusions about who and what
you are.»
«And yet you still profess your love for me.» Minshom
managed a derisive laugh. «How pathetic is that?»
«As pathetic as Captain Gray loving me probably.» Robert
shrugged. «But that’s how it is, and that is how it will remain.»
«Unless I dismiss you.»
Robert stilled, all the color draining from his face. «Sir?»
Minshom sat back and stretched. «I’ll think about it and let
you know after I’ve dealt with my wife.»
Robert swallowed hard. «If you wish me to leave, I’ll go.»
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«Really? Has the estimable Captain Gray offered you a
refuge?» He paused. «Of course he has. He is a far more
honorable man than I’ll ever be.»
Minshom tried to imagine his life without Robert and found it
surprisingly difficult. Then he remembered Captain’s Gray’s face
as Robert had sucked his cock. The man had looked as if he was
in ecstasy. How could he deny another man that? Because he had
been denied, because he’d never been allowed to choose what he
wanted, apart from his decision to marry Jane. Damnation, why
did everything come back to her? She’d even started affecting his
relationship with Robert!
He shrugged and picked up his pen. «It’s up to you, Robert.
Stay or go; I care not.»
Robert simply turned and walked out, leaving Minshom alone.
He contemplated the carefully closed door. What would Robert
do? And why the devil should he care? He tried to return his
attention to his work, realized his ears were straining to hear any
sound of Robert returning, or worse, leaving for good.
A knock at the door interrupted his thoughts and he sat up
straight. «Come in.»
Broadman, his butler, appeared, his round face anxious.
«I’m sorry to disturb you, my lord, but there is a gentleman
who would like to see you.»
Minshom held out his hand. «Did he give you his card?»
«Indeed he did, sir.» Broadman deposited it in his palm and
quickly backed away.
Minshom read the engraved black writing and almost stopped
breathing. It seemed that all his demons were coming back to
torment him this year. He let the card slide through his fingers
onto his desk.
«Tell Major Lord Thomas Wesley that I am not at home.»
«But you are, sir.»
«Tell him I am not and if he calls again, keep telling him, do
you understand?»
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«Yes, sir. But if I might say, sir, he seems like a very nice
gentleman. He’s just returned from India.»
Minshom fixed Broadman with a quelling stare. «I don’t care
what he’s like. I don’t want to see him. Is that clear?»
«Yes, sir, very clear.» Broadman backed out of the room, his
face troubled. «I’m not the best liar, sir, but I’ll tell him you’re not
home.»
Minshom hid his face in his hand and groaned. Sometimes he
wondered why he put up with Broadman and his chatty nature.
Despite his years of service, he seemed more at home acting like
a meddling nurse than a snobbish London butler. Perhaps it was
time to pension him off along with Robert and start anew.
His gaze fell on the card again and he couldn’t repress a
shiver. Thomas was a distant cousin of his whose titled father
had died the previous year. Thomas had obviously decided to
make the long journey from India to settle his father’s affairs. But
why the hell did he want to see Minshom? True, they’d once
been good friends despite their two-year age gap, but the yearly
summer fighting tournaments had put paid to that, made them
the deadliest of enemies, each one vying for superiority.
Minshom sighed. He couldn’t face another potential battle of
wills today. Robert had sucked out his energy and Jane continued
to defy him without seeming to do anything at all. The dress
she’d worn down for breakfast that morning had been fit for
only a pigsty. It had taken all his hard-won restraint to allow her
to leave the house in such a garment. And she’d known it, had
smiled triumphantly at him as she left.
Too restless to settle to his work, he rose from his desk and
went to the window. His life seemed to be dissolving around
him. Jane had done this to him once before when he’d first met
her and wanted her and married her. Perhaps it wasn’t surprising
that now she was here again he was floundering. And then there
was Sokorvsky, Robert and his new visitor, Thomas Wesley...
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Damnation, he was going to take a long ride in the park and
forget the lot of them. Surely after some physical exercise his
beleaguered brain would start working and he’d come up with
some new strategies to beat them all. Because his father was
right: winning was everything. He’d stake his life and soul on
that. He smiled savagely at his faint reflection. In truth, he
already had.
«It’s all right, Emily. I’ll go and change.»
Jane picked up the skirts of her old green dress and laughed
out loud. After her highly successful morning at the foundling’s
school, she was covered in glue, feathers and other
unmentionable messes she didn’t want to identify. After all the
incessant tugging from the younger children, her hair had come
unpinned and streamed down her back.
«Yes, go up immediately, Jane, you look like a ragamuffin!»
Emily tried to shoo Jane up the stairs whilst simultaneously
sneezing into her handkerchief.
«Good afternoon, Emily. What on earth is going on? Have
you started keeping chickens in the house?»
Jane froze, her bottom foot on the stairs, and turned slowly
around. A tall blond-haired man in naval uniform stood laughing
in the hallway batting at the feathers swirling in the draughts.
Oh God, would Captain Gray recognize her from the night
before? She met his sea blue gaze, watched his eyes widen and a
faint color appear on his cheeks. Oh dear. It appeared that he
did. She smiled brightly and sketched a curtsey.
«Captain Gray. How delightful to see you again.»
Emily nodded at her brother-in-law. «You remember Lady
Minshom, don’t you, David? She was at my wedding.»
He bowed, hat in hand. «Of course I do, Emily. It’s a pleasure
to see you again, my lady.»
Emily gestured to Jane to keep moving. «Go and get changed
and meet us in the small dining room. David will be joining us
for lunch so you can enjoy a quiet chat.»
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«I’ll be as quick as I can, Emily.» Jane trudged up the stairs