I am Wolf (The Wolfboy Chronicles) (22 page)

The gun was shaking in his hands. He shook with a
mixture of anger and fear. He was still scared of me.

As I was of him.

I
was ordered into
a small room and the door
was locked behind me. I felt defeated and the anger that had been my strength
for so long slowly left me. As dawn came I changed back. I lay on the cold
floor as my wolf left me when suddenly I realized I wasn’t alone in the room.
There was someone in the corner, laying crumpled up with his back turned at me.
His body was shaking heavily. I stared at him and suddenly recognized him. I
crept closer to be sure. The long white hair had grown thinner and so had his
body which suddenly seemed very old.

“Caspian?” I whispered.

He turned his head and his almost white eyes stared at
me with a strange look I hadn’t seen in them before. As he realized it was me
he jumped further into the corner holding his hands up in front of his face.
“Stay away from me Sami. Stay far away from me.”

“But Caspian ... “

He looked at me, then hissed. “Don’t come any closer.”

“What happened to you?”

His voice was hoarse and worn. “I’m sick, Sami. I am
very sick. Don’t come close to me.”

My heart started racing in my chest. “Sick? What do
you mean you’re sick? You can’t get sick. You’re a wolf, like me. No diseases
can bring us down!”

His eyes stared at me. They flickered and it was like
someone else was in them, like someone else was inside of Caspian’s body
looking out. I didn’t recognize him, he was a different person. It scared me
and I drew away from him. The almost manic eyes flickered back and forth. Then
they changed again and he was back. Caspian’s eyes looked at me with desperation
while he spoke.

“Yes. There is one,” he said his voice trembling
heavily. “There is one illness. The desire for the human flesh.”

I exhaled. I didn’t understand. “I know about that.
But that shouldn’t ... You’ve never ... have you?”

He looked deeply into my eyes and I sensed the regret,
the shame.

“When? Why?” I asked both startled and anxious. “How?”

Caspian turned his face away and sighed. “A few weeks
before I bit you. I was sick from hunger after months of starvation. I hadn’t
been able to find much to eat and it drove me out of the woods where I normally
hunt in search of food. I came across a woman who had been killed recently. Her
body was in a ditch next to the road. I think she had been shot by one of the
soldiers. I don’t know what happened to her, but she had died shortly before I
found her. Her body was still warm and it smelled heavenly. I stared at her and
all that meat. Everything inside of me screamed that I shouldn’t do it, that it
was wrong, and that it would end up killing me. But I was beyond reasoning. My
flesh wanted it, my wolf desired it and it took over, it took complete control
of my body and mind. So I sank my teeth into her soft skin and just like that
it was all over. I had done the forbidden. I ate all of the meat and drank her
blood and it gave me the rush of a lifetime. But it didn’t last long. By the
next day my wolf wanted more, it demanded more human flesh. Soon I became a
slave to it and it my master. Since that day I have craved the meat of the
humans where ever I went, leaving nothing but death and devastation behind me.
I have killed people, Sami. To satisfy my hunger I killed them in cold blood
because I could no longer control myself. It had taken me over.”

I backed up feeling confused. I stared at him in
disbelief. “But ...

Caspian shook his head heavily. His eyes avoided mine.
“I didn’t want you to know this about me. I hid it from you. I knew it would
kill me eventually or make me lose my mind. I was protecting Catalina when they
came for her and her family. But my weakness, my addiction had slowed my
senses. I should have gotten her out of there, but ... but I wasn’t there when
they came. I had come upon a new grave and dug up the corpse to eat the meat.
It was still fresh and filled with the intoxicating blood. That was how low I
had come, feasting on corpses. Meanwhile Catalina and her family were being
attacked. When I came back it was too late. I was devastated and cursed myself.
It was my job to protect her while she was in this world. I had promised myself
to never take my eyes of her. But I failed. Luckily she managed to escape on
her own. While dwelling in my own self-condemnation and self-pity thinking I
had lost her, I watched her escape from the house and run towards the forest.
Determined to protect her I followed her as she met you and asked you to help
her. When I saw you I knew you had wolf-blood in you already. I could smell you
from far away. I knew you would be able to carry on my legacy and protect
Catalina. I didn’t trust myself any longer. You could take over when I was no
longer myself. All I had to do was to bite you and pass it on. Once my salvia
met your blood it would awake the wolf in you and make you turn. You were my
savior. If I passed on the torch I could die in peace.” Caspian paused with a
sigh.

“So that was what happened when you killed that
soldier and smelled his blood. That was why you froze?” I asked. “Because you
wanted it badly?”

“Yes. My entire being wanted that meat. It was the
hardest thing I ever had to do, walk away from that, to restrain my craving for
the blood.” Caspian sighed again and looked at me with eyes of shame. “The dead
people were also me.”

“What dead people?” I asked.

Caspian sighed deeply before he continued. “I followed
you in the beginning wherever you went, protecting you and hoping you would try
and look for Catalina. I was constantly looking to find the right moment to
reveal myself for you and tell you the entire story. Tell you the awful truth
about me and about the people you thought you had killed ... But I kept
postponing it. Until I had to interfere, when you went into that house,
maddened with hunger. That was when I had to step up before it was too late.
Before you destroyed yourself.”

“It was you?” I felt tears pilling up inside of me. I
couldn’t believe this. All this time I had thought myself to be evil, I thought
that I had ... that I had killed those people. Thought that I was eventually
going to lose my mind to the cravings of the human flesh.

Caspian nodded slowly. “The two soldiers and the woman
you found, that was me. I didn’t kill her though, they did, and then you
attacked them. You had heard her screams and then the gunshot. You ran towards
the sound and ripped them up in anger for what they had done. But it was too
late. The woman was already dead. I was the one who ate their flesh, not you.
The man in the village where Camelia lives, that was me as well. He had seen
you. He watched you walk towards Camelia’s house. You saw him too, stared
directly into his face. I killed him, attacked him on my way back following you
through the forest. I was sick,” he said. “I am sick.
 
“

“But ... but what does that mean? Do you have to die?”

“The only way out is to starve my wolf. Deprive it of
what it craves the most: human flesh. Either that or it will end up driving me
mad. I haven’t eaten since they brought me here. They caught me right after you
left me. I wasn’t careful. I was mad with hunger since I hadn’t had any human
meat for days travelling with you. At first I tried to get as far away from the
dead humans as possible, so I travelled for a day and a half but eventually I
found myself back at the place where you had left me. Once again to satisfy my
wolf’s desire so I ran towards where we had heard the shooting and where I
could smell the blood of humans. I found maybe twenty bodies buried only by a
thin layer of soil. I dragged out a few of them and started feasting, letting
it sedate me and all of my senses. But I never got to eat much. I didn’t even
hear them come. Suddenly a man with a gun carrying a silver bullet was behind
me. He told me he knew who and what I was. At that moment I wanted him to shoot
me, I wanted to die with my shame, but he spared my life for some reason and
brought me here. I haven’t eaten since.”

Caspian coughed weakly. I could see his bones
underneath his pale skin. “I’m not going to either,” he continued. “This time
I’m steadfast. I’d rather die than taste human blood again. It’s over. I don’t
have much time before I’ll completely lose my mind, then if I don’t eat human
flesh my body will slowly die. Until now there have been no temptations. Now
that you are here I am afraid I might try and attack you. But as you see I am
weak. You should be able to fight me off. You are still young and strong.”

I exhaled deeply, then reached out to touch Caspian’s
arm gently. He pulled away.

“Don’t pity me,” he hissed. “I was weak, now I’m
paying the price.”

He stared into my eyes. His eyes were glassy, almost
feverish. “Don’t ever be weak, Sami.” He reached out and grabbed my arm. It
felt so feeble, his bones touched my skin. “Promise me you’ll never be weak.”

I nodded slowly while looking into his eyes. “I
promise,” I said.

“Catalina will need you to protect her when I’m gone.
You need to be strong for her.”

“I will,” I said.

“No matter what happens. You hear me? No matter what!
Do you understand? I need you to understand this.” Caspian looked at me
intently.

I nodded. “Of course. You have my word,” I said.

Caspian’s eyes were filled with relief. “You need to
find the book,” he continued. “It will help you and guide you. I have to
emphasize the importance of protecting it. Many a wolf would want to get their
fingers on it. It contains power. Whoever possesses it will gain great
abilities. Never let it fall into the wrong hands.”

“I’ll do what I can. But where is it now?” I asked.

Caspian coughed loudly. He spat blood on the floor. I
gasped. He was really sick now. His manic eyes stared at me. They flickered in
true desperation, for a second he was gone again, there seemed to be a battle
going on inside of him, and then he returned to his own self.

“I hid it,” he said. “When you left me I was afraid it
would fall in the wrong hands. I didn’t trust myself with it. It belongs to you
now so I hid it close to where you left me hoping you’d come back. I found a
big oak tree and dug a hole. I marked it with ten rocks shaping a cross in the
soil above.” Caspian grabbed my neck and held on to it. “When you get out of
here you have to find it. Do you hear me? You have to find it.”

That was when the door to the room was opened and two
soldiers entered. Something was thrown on the floor. It was a pair of brown
pants and a white shirt. It was my older brother Leon’s clothes. I felt tears
in my eyes thinking of him and my family and what might have become of them.

“Put this on,” one of the soldiers said to me. “The
general wants to see you.”

Caspian stared at me as I got dressed and was taken
away.

“Goodbye, Sami,” I heard his voice say just before I
watched his eyes grow wild and manic again.

I
was sad to
leave Caspian in the chamber
all alone, but I had no choice. They still had Catalina and my parents, if they
were still alive. Plus they knew how to kill me, so I had no choice but to obey
their orders. For now.

Following the soldiers down the hallway I began
looking forward to meeting this general in person and maybe get some questions
answered. I sniffed the hallway and caught Catalina’s scent. I was overwhelmed
with the feeling that she was close, maybe even still in the storage room. Her
scent was fresh so she had to be alive and close. I was overwhelmed with a
strong feeling. I wasn’t going to give up. I was determined to get us out of
here alive. I began plotting mine and Catalina’s escape, thinking I had an
advantage since this was my childhood home. There were many places to hide and
I knew more entrances and ways to get out. Maybe if I could somehow kill this
general, then take out Alexandru then the rest would be easy. But could I just
leave Caspian? Was that really what he wanted?

“Move faster!” one soldier said and hit me in my back
with a rifle. I growled and turned to look at him. I sensed my wolf’s presence
strongly in me. It wouldn’t take many aggravations to make him appear in his
full hairy form. My growl made the soldier back up with fear in his eyes. I
knew the beast was evident in the blue iris of my eyes while I was in my human
form.

We stopped in front of a door, the same door that used
to be my father’s study. The soldier in front knocked, then someone shouted
“enter” and the door was opened. I felt a push on my back and I was thrown
inside. The door was quickly closed behind me. I scanned the room and found my
father’s beloved study completely ravaged. Books and belongings were thrown to
the floor, the expensive carpet devastated with burns from cigarettes that had
been extinguished under big boots. I growled again but this time felt worry
rise in me, a worry for my family and especially for my dear mother.