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Authors: Unknown
‘Such as?’ Riona knew already she wouldn’t like them.
‘Should you remarry or wish to cohabit with someone before Rory was eighteen, possession of the Hal and custody of Rory would revert to me,’ he
stated. ‘You would, of course, get visitation rights.’
‘That’s monstrous!’ Riona protested angrily, although she had no thoughts of remarriage—or even marriage, period. ‘Why are you trying to punish
me, Cameron? What have I ever done to you?’
A flicker of something—it looked like pain—crossed his face, but was quickly gone. ‘You don’t come into it.’ His voice reflected indifference. ‘I’m simply ensuring Rory doesn’t have some stepfather or so-cal ed “uncle” thrust on him at some vulnerable stage of his life.’
‘Now, Cameron, you’re being unfair,’ the doctor stepped in, as the atmosphere turned sour once more. ‘You’re not offering Riona a proper
marriage, and at the same time you’re condemning her to a life of loneliness.’
Cameron’s lips thinned at the doctor’s analysis. ‘I’m safeguarding my son’s interests and his future position as laird. If she feels the need for a man, she can always go away for a dir—discreet weekend to Edinburgh.’ He changed mid-sentence but it was obvious what word he was going to use. The curl of his lip told her that.
Riona paled as she thought of their own few days in Edinburgh. Had that just been a dirty weekend to him, too?
‘Now, just a minute, Cameron.’ Dr Macnab came to her defence. ‘I’ve known the lass here al her life, and, though she might have gone with you,
she’s not the type to sleep around.’
‘Isn’t she?’ Cameron stared past the doctor to Riona. ‘That’s what I thought, Doc, but I wised up. I suggest you do the same. Why don’t you ask
her about Fergus Ross? Ask her how often she’d been with him.’
‘No, no.’ The doctor shook his head. ‘You’ve quite the wrong idea. Fergus and Riona have been friends since childhood, but that’s al . If someone
told you otherwise—’
‘Oh, someone did,’ Cameron cut in, ‘only I was too stupid to listen. Isobel Fraser told me Fergus Ross had practical y lived up at your croft on his last leave,’ he directed at Riona, ‘but I chose to believe it was al innocent boy-girl stuff. After al , you were stil a virgin when we met, weren’t you?’ A sneer made his face almost ugly.
‘I never told you that,’ Riona claimed in her own defence.
It drew a bitter laugh. ‘No, you just let me think it and go right ahead and make a fool of myself.’
Dr Macnab looked from one angry face to another, and, stil believing it was a simple matter of misunderstanding, appealed, ‘Calm down, both of
you. I don’t know who’s said what to whom, but I certainly wouldn’t go by Isobel Fraser’s word. If you didn’t know it, Isobel had her eye on you herself, Cameron, lad. That’s why she up and left after you yourself went.’
‘Maybe,’ Cameron conceded, holding Riona’s gaze, ‘but she was stil tel ing the truth in this case. She didn’t even know about us. I mentioned the
fact that you were struggling to keep the croft going and that I needed one of the estate workers to help with repairs. She suggested that your difficulties might be temporary as Fergus Ross would be home soon on leave and would probably move in with you again. I didn’t believe her. I was so sure of you, I thought, if Fergus does return, you’l choose me. How wrong can a man be?’ He scoffed at his own naiveté.
Riona shook her head, betraying herself as she replied softly, ‘But I would have. You know I would—’
‘Like hel !’ he exploded back at her. ‘You chose Fergus. We both know that... And why not? After al , he was your first lover, wasn’t he? And
before you deny it, that didn’t come from Isobel, but the man himself.’
Riona stared at him blankly, while the doctor concluded, ‘Fergus told you this.’
Cameron nodded. ‘Only he didn’t just tel me, he boasted of having the prettiest girl in Invergair—with the emphasis on “having”... I assume he
informed you of our accidental meeting,’ he threw at Riona.
She continued to stare at him until suddenly the truth hit her hard.
Fergus had been at sea when Cameron had appeared on the scene. She hadn’t been expecting him back when he’d suddenly turned up on a
weekend pass. It had been the night Cameron had been away in Glasgow and she remembered being relieved at his absence, as Fergus had arrived on her doorstep late. He’d hitched home and it had been dark when a tourist had picked him up and delivered him to the foot of her road. An American tourist, Riona recal ed Fergus’s words at the time, but only now understood their significance. How stupid she’d been not to see the connection then!
Cameron saw realisation dawn on her face, and he twisted the knife. ‘You see, I changed my mind about staying overnight. I drove back from
Glasgow and picked up this kid on the road. He was anxious to get home to his girlfriend and I gave him a ride to the bottom of her hil . It was late at night, but he was sure of his welcome. I waited two, three hours, but it seems he was right. I drove past the next morning and saw him on the road. The sun was just up. I kept driving.’
He spoke with a hard, factual edge, as if he no longer cared. His pride had been hurt, but that was al .
For Riona, only now learning the truth, it was as if it had just happened. She imagined Fergus, ful of himself, having to show off, confiding to a stranger what should have been private. Perhaps he had mentioned her name then been encouraged to say more. And Cameron, she imagined him sitting at the bottom of her road, giving her a chance, waiting for a couple of hours, waiting for her to turn Fergus away. Only she hadn’t and it had spoiled everything.
‘Didn’t he want you,’ Cameron added cruel y, ‘when the baby turned out to be mine?’
‘I...’ Riona couldn’t speak; she was hurting too much.
He was merciless, continuing, ‘Maybe he wasn’t such a mug as me. Maybe he didn’t fancy a lifetime of wondering who you were going to cheat
with next.’
Riona shook her head, appealing for him to understand. It wasn’t the way he thought. The fault might be hers, for not tel ing him about Fergus, but it hadn’t been like that.
‘That’s enough!’ was directed at him by an angry Dr Macnab. ‘Can’t you see what you’re doing to her?’
Cameron’s eyes remained on Riona. He saw al right. He wanted her hurt. Her tears didn’t move him.
‘I think you’d better go,’ Dr Macnab told him, and, not waiting for a response, turned to gather Riona in his arms. ‘Hush, lass, hush. I know, I know.
It isn’t true. Hush, lass...’
His words made her cry al the harder, while Cameron, making a sound of disgust, pushed past them, out of the door. He slammed it hard behind him.
With the door shut, it was a moment or two before Riona heard Rory crying. When she did, she put her own misery second, and, freeing herself from
the doctor’s comforting arms, hurried outside.
She was too late. Cameron had picked up Rory from his pram and was holding him on high. Rory had ceased crying and was staring round-eyed
down at the man. Riona’s heart froze.
Her fear must have been written al over her face as Cameron turned and, lowering the baby to his shoulder, said, ‘You think I’d do that? Just take the baby?’
Riona remained silent, for that was exactly what she’d thought on seeing Rory in his arms.
‘Here.’ He handed the baby back to her. ‘I don’t intend to kidnap him. You’ve heard my proposition. I’l wait your answer.’
‘You can have it now,’ she said, feeling stronger with Rory in her arms. ‘I won’t marry you, not in any circumstances.’
‘Fair enough.’ He accepted rejection rather easily, but then added, ‘I’l see you in court.’
‘Court?’ Riona echoed in fright, remembering his threat of a custody battle.
‘You don’t think I’m going to give up my son so easily?’ he went on relentlessly. ‘I suggest you find yourself a good lawyer. I already have.’
‘Lawyer?’ Riona echoed again, shaking her head. ‘But I don’t know any lawyers. And I have no money...’
‘That’s your problem,’ he dismissed coldly, and, before she could appeal for reason, turned on his heel and walked away.
The doctor appeared on the doorstep and ushered her inside. He led the way through to the sitting-room and sat her down on an armchair.
‘Could you eat lunch?’ he asked her, and wasn’t too surprised when she shook her head. The baby, however, began to cry slightly, a hungry cry, and
the doctor suggested gently, ‘You’d better feed him, lass, while I get us a cup of tea.’
He left the room and, unbuttoning her blouse, Riona put the baby to her breast. He drew on her milk, but for once she drew no comfort from his
closeness. She was stil shaken by her encounter with Cameron.
The baby was fed by the time the doctor returned with a tray of tea things. Riona put him down on the carpet and he lay there happily, trying but not quite managing to rol over. She felt calmer herself, already distancing her mind and her heart from Cameron Adams, as she’d done once before.
‘I’m sorry, lass,’ the doctor said when he’d served the tea, ‘I’m an interfering old man. I just thought... wel , if the two of you got together, you might make up your differences.’
Riona shook her head. ‘As you probably noticed, Doctor, he hates me.’
‘Och, no,’ Dr Macnab denied, ‘he doesna hate you, lass. It’s jealousy that’s driving him. He’s got some mad idea that you’ve been with Fergus as
wel as himself, and he can’t stand it.’
Clearly the doctor didn’t believe Cameron’s accusations, and Riona could have left him with his il usions. But that was what she’d done with
Cameron. She’d let him imagine her total y innocent and it had resulted in disaster.
This time she decided to be honest. ‘I have, Doctor.’
‘You have what, lass?’ Dr Macnab didn’t realise she was answering him.
‘I have been with Fergus,’ she stated plainly.
Stil the doctor doubted what she was trying to say. ‘Wel , of course, lass,’ he agreed. ‘As I remember, Fergus was a great deal of help to you on his last leave, when your grandfather was il . But that hardly has you sleeping with him, as Cameron thinks. You’ve never felt that way about Fergus, have you, lass?’ he ended with certainty.
‘No, I never real y loved Fergus,’ she told him quietly, ‘but that’s what makes it worse. Because, you see... I did sleep with him, Doctor,’ she final y confessed, raising her eyes to his, so he could read the truth in them.
‘Och, no, lass.’ Dr Macnab didn’t want to believe what she was tel ing him. ‘You’re no saying Cameron was right—that you were sleeping with
both of them?’
Riona shook her head. ‘Not the way he meant it.’ She recal ed his words with a mixture of anger and pain. ‘I slept with Fergus just the once—a
week or so after my grandfather’s funeral. He’d been so good to me, so kind, and I felt so alone. I thought I loved him. I wanted to. I guess I was scared of having no one.’
‘I understand, lass.’ Dr Macnab was quick to support her. ‘Don’t blame yourself. It happens sometimes. You won’t be the first person to have
turned to the nearest person in grief.’
‘I suppose it was that.’ She nodded. ‘I felt guilty, too. He’d helped so much around the place. At first it was just as a friend, but then he said he was in love with me. I don’t think now he was... I just wanted to believe it. At any rate, we did sleep together,’ she admitted, more ashamed of the fact than she’d ever been of her relationship with Cameron.
‘Don’t be so hard on yourself, lass.’ Dr Hamish squeezed her hand gently. ‘Roddy had just died and you were confused and depressed and perhaps
a little scared of being on your own. You were vulnerable and Fergus took advantage.’
Riona shook her head. She didn’t think it fair to blame Fergus. ‘We used each other, Doctor. I was relieved when he returned to sea and he was
happy to go. I think we both knew we weren’t real y suited. He never wrote and it was a surprise when he turned up that night.’
‘It was Cameron who gave him the lift here.’ The doctor recal ed what the American had said.
‘Apparently.’ Riona’s eyes became shadowed. ‘I didn’t know it then. Fergus just told me he’d hitched a lift from a tourist, and Cameron... wel , I
never saw him again.’
‘I remember. He left very suddenly.’ The doctor frowned, as he concluded, ‘Presumably because he found out about you and Fergus.’
‘I suppose.’ Riona wasn’t altogether sure; perhaps he’d just used it as an excuse. If he’d real y loved her, wouldn’t he have given her a chance to explain? ‘Except there was nothing to find out, not that time,’ she declared a little angrily, ‘because al Fergus and I did was talk. I told him there was someone else and, though he was angry, he accepted it. I let him spend the night there because it was too late for him to go home, but, whatever Cameron Adams thinks, Fergus spent it on the couch. Believe me, Doctor, we didn’t—’
‘I do,’ the older man was quick to assure. ‘You don’t have to convince me, lass. But you can see how it must have looked to Cameron—Fergus
returns and you go back with him, just like Isobel suggested. If only he’d known the truth. Maybe if you told him now—’
‘No!’ Riona stopped the doctor from saying more. If there had ever been a chance for her and Cameron, it was gone.
‘But why not?’ Dr Macnab stil hoped for a happy ending.
‘He chose to believe the worst,’ Riona reasoned, ‘because he wanted to. He wanted to ditch me, and I just made it easy for him.’
‘No, lass, no.’ The doctor saw no logic in what she was saying. ‘The man was mad with jealousy. He stil is. Why would he want to ditch you?’
Riona shook her head, not wishing to discuss the matter further. It wouldn’t change the past, and she had to look to the future. The future was the baby who reached out his little arms to her from the floor. She picked him up and cradled his dark head to her.
The doctor watched the two of them together, and asked, ‘What are you going to do, lass?’
‘I don’t know, Doctor,’ she admitted heavily. ‘I don’t want to marry him, yet what he’s offering Rory...’