How to Handle Your Emotions (Counseling Through the Bible Series) (65 page)

Jesus emphasizes the again and again nature of forgiveness when He says,

“If he sins against you seven times in a day…forgive him”

(L
UKE
17:4).

When Dorie went to school, she had no lunch…and no money to buy lunch. So during lunchtime she would tell others, “I’m going for a walk.” Dorie later confessed that if she had stayed in the lunchroom, “the sight of food would have been too much.”
³⁶
The only clothes she owned were three tattered dresses and her scuffed shoes. To Dorie, the thought that she was valuable was beyond comprehension. But oh, how wrong she was!

If you struggle with a sense of low self-worth, realize just how
worthy
you are and embrace these words as your own, pursuing them as your goal:

“As a prisoner for the Lord, then, I urge you to live a life worthy of the calling you have received”

(E
PHESIANS
4:1).

You Are Worthy

W
Work on eliminating negative attitudes and beliefs.

“I will not hide my feelings or refuse to face them.”

“I will not wallow in feelings of self-pity.”

“I will not project my feelings onto others and become critical.”

“Whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things”

(P
HILIPPIANS
4:8).

O
Obtain a scriptural understanding of the love you are to have for yourself.

“I am not to love myself with conceited love or pride.”

“I am to love the truth that God loves me and has a purpose for me.”

—
agape
love for myself: seeking God’s highest purpose for me

—
agape
love for others: seeking the highest good of another

“The entire law is summed up in a single command: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself’”

(G
ALATIANS
5:14).

R
Refuse to compare yourself with others.

“I will not measure myself by others.”

“I will thank God for what He has given me and what He is making of me.”

“We do not dare to classify or compare ourselves with some who commend themselves”

(2 C
ORINTHIANS
10:12).

T
Thank God for His unconditional love for you.

“I will choose an attitude of thanksgiving even when I do not feel thankful.”

“I will spend personal time with God, thanking Him for His unfailing love.”

“We meditate on your unfailing love”

(P
SALM
48:9).

H
Hope in God’s promise to mold you to be like Christ.

“I know that personal growth is a process.”

“I know that God is committed to my growth.”

“For those God foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the likeness of his Son”

(R
OMANS
8:29).

Y
Yield your talents and abilities to helping others.

“I will be generous with my God-given gifts.”

“I will realize my God-given worth as I focus on others.”

“Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ”

(G
ALATIANS
6:2).

Dorie’s image of herself was shaped in part by her father, whom she never met until after she became a young adult. Her time with him was very limited, yet he was still a major influence on her sense of self-worth.

Before they met, Dorie hoped she would finally have the father she had longed for. When she met with him, he seemed to care about her, and for the first time, she felt parental love. Then later, she shared her conviction that the Lord had called her to go as a missionary to New Guinea. Her sense of loss was profound when he scoffed, “If that’s what you plan to do, then don’t unpack your suitcase. From this moment on, you are not my daughter! I never want to see you again!”

As Dorie traveled back home, she cried out to the Lord, “He was the only person in the world who ever loved me. How could he do this to me?” Dorie’s father had not only rejected her one last, painful time, but he had rejected Christ during that visit as well.

Soon, however, Dorie had the presence of mind to remember that God had not left her. She was not alone. She said, “When you have nothing left but God, you realize that God is enough. God has stood beside me when no one else wanted me; He was not going to abandon me now. God would have to heal the emotional pain that throbbed through my body.”

From this time onward, Dorie began to allow the Lord to change her image of herself that had been perpetuated by her parents. She could choose to believe what the Lord said about her, not what her parents had said.

Here is how to answer seven self-defeating statements:

If you say,
“I just can’t do anything right,”

The Lord says,
“I’ll give you My strength to do what is right.”

“I can do everything through him who gives me strength”

(P
HILIPPIANS
4:13).

If you say,
“I feel that I’m too weak,”

The Lord says,
“My power is perfect when you are weak.”

“My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness”

(2 C
ORINTHIANS
12:9).

If you say,
“I feel I’m not able to measure up,”

The Lord says,
“Rely on Me. I am able.”

“God is able to make all grace abound to you, so that in all things at all times, having all that you need, you will abound in every good work”

(2 C
ORINTHIANS
9:8).

If you say,
“I don’t feel that anyone loves me,”

The Lord says,
“I love you.”

“I have loved you with an everlasting love; I have drawn you with loving-kindness”

(J
EREMIAH
31:3).

If you say,
“I can’t forgive myself,”

The Lord says,
“I can forgive you.”

“I, even I, am he who blots out your transgressions, for my own sake, and remembers your sins no more”

(I
SAIAH
43:25).

If you say,
“I wish I’d never been born.”

The Lord says,
“Since before you were born, I’ve had plans for you.”

“Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart”

(J
EREMIAH
1:5).

If you say,
“I feel my future is hopeless,”

The Lord says,
“I know the future I have for you.”

“‘I know the plans I have for you,’ declares the L
ORD
, ‘plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future’”

(J
EREMIAH
29:11).

At times, do you feel inadequate, fearful, and insecure, even when you know you shouldn’t? If so, you’re not alone. When God first spoke to Moses, Moses was filled with insecurity and fear. At the burning bush, the Lord supernaturally appeared to Moses and instructed him to confront Pharaoh.

In response, Moses argued with God. He felt he was a nobody with no
authority, no credentials, and no skills. He felt totally inadequate for the job and was terrified of failing. And on top of all that, he felt he couldn’t speak well enough. So he told God to send someone else! But God wouldn’t accept Moses’ excuses. God said,

“Who gave man his mouth? Who makes him deaf or mute? Who gives him sight or makes him blind? Is it not I, the L
ORD
? Now go; I will help you speak and will teach you what to say”

(E
XODUS
4:11-12).

Take comfort in this: God knows your limitations better than you do, and those limitations cannot impede the work the Lord has laid out for you. Just as God used Moses to lead an entire nation to freedom, God will work in and through you to accomplish His purposes for you.

“Being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus”

(P
HILIPPIANS
1:6).

The rejection Dorie endured as a child was a seemingly impossible obstacle to overcome, at least as most people would view her life. Even though she had overcome much of her childhood pain after she became a Christian, when her father died, some of the pain resurfaced.

When Dorie heard about her father’s death, she and her husband drove to Oklahoma for the funeral. She signed the registry as his daughter and was stunned when the funeral director informed her that her father had no children! The director insisted that her presence would upset the family, and she was turned away from the funeral home. Later, Dorie’s aunt called to ask that she not attend the funeral because the obituary had stated “no children” and there would be discomfort among the other family members if Dorie appeared. Dorie’s father, even in death, had stung Dorie with yet another rejection—and this one delivered a great blow. She said, “My father’s death ended all earthly ties with my relatives.”
³⁹

However, Dorie did not lose her new sense of worth because of her father’s rejection. She knew the Lord would always love her, have compassion on her, and be faithful to her. That was His promise of hope to her:

“I remember my affliction and my wandering, the bitterness and the gall. I well remember them, and my soul is downcast within me. Yet this I call to mind and therefore I have hope. Because of the L
ORD
’s great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail”