How to Handle Your Emotions (Counseling Through the Bible Series) (32 page)

Believe that God…

—created you because He loves you.

—has a purpose and a plan for your life.

—has the right to have authority over you.

—wants you to entrust your life to Him.

—has the power to change you.

—will keep you safe as you trust in Him.

“The fear of the L
ORD
is the beginning of knowledge, but fools despise wisdom and discipline”

(P
ROVERBS
1:7).

Fear-based thinking…

—reveals you are not trusting God.

—does not appropriate the grace of God.

—keeps you in bondage to fear.

—is physically, emotionally, and spiritually damaging.

“In God I trust; I will not be afraid.

What can mortal man do to me?”

(P
SALM
56:4).

Are you fearful of experiencing…

—rejection: Do you need to be loved?

—failure: Do you need to feel significant?

—financial loss: Do you need to feel secure?

“Fear of man will prove to be a snare, but whoever trusts in the L
ORD
is kept safe”

(P
ROVERBS
29:25).

God’s love provides you with…

—complete acceptance.

—a realization of your true value.

—the power to overcome fear.

—true security.

“I have loved you with an everlasting love; I have drawn you with loving-kindness”

(J
EREMIAH
31:3).

Ask God to help you be…

—actively involved in a Bible study (2 Timothy 2:15).

—in daily prayer, truly talking with God (Philippians 4:6).

—active in a local church that teaches the Word of God (Hebrews 10:25).

—committed to memorizing and meditating on God’s Word (Philippians 4:8).

—obedient to God’s promptings in your spirit (Philippians 4:5).

“His delight is in the law of the L
ORD
, and on his law he meditates day and night”

(P
SALM
1:2).

As you cultivate fellowship, be…

—engaged with fellow Christians (Hebrews 10:25).

—willing to testify to God’s faithfulness in your life (Lamentations 3:22-23).

—focused on serving others (Philippians 4:10).

—aware of the twofold responsibility (Christ’s and yours) in assisting others in need (Philippians 4:13-14).

—accountable to a small, close group of growing Christians.

“As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another”

(P
ROVERBS
27:17).

Meditate on these truths:

—“When I am afraid, I will trust in you” (Psalm 56:3).

—“The L
ORD
is my light and my salvation—whom shall I fear? The
L
ORD
is the stronghold of my life—of whom shall I be afraid?” (Psalm 27:1).

—“God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble” (Psalm 46:1).

Ask God for the grace to…

—know that Christ is always ready to respond to your needs.

—acknowledge Christ’s presence in your life and call for His help.

—release your fear to Him and receive His powerful love.

—act in love toward others by focusing on their needs and relying on God.

“The one who calls you is faithful and he will do it”

(1 T
HESSALONIANS
5:24).

As you do, you will also become…

—more trusting.

—more peaceful.

—more thankful.

—more Christlike.

“Just as you received Christ Jesus as Lord, continue to live in him, rooted and built up in him, strengthened in the faith as you were taught, and overflowing with thankfulness”

(C
OLOSSIANS
2:6-7).

From Fear to Faith

Imagine what it must have been like: the disciples, in a boat, on the lake, in the darkness, before the dawn.

Imagine their wavering emotions, their startled surprise. They saw “something”…something not seen before, something fearful, something terrifying. They saw a ghost!

Is their fear based on fantasy or fact? Myth or truth? Is their perception of the situation true or false? Notice how quickly they move back and forth from fear to faith to fear to faith. It all depended on what they
perceived
to be true.

Fear:
“When the disciples saw Jesus walking on the lake, they were terrified. ‘It’s a ghost,’ they said, and cried out in fear. But Jesus immediately said to them: ‘Take courage! It is I. Don’t be afraid.’ ‘Lord, if it’s you,’ Peter replied, ‘tell me to come to you on the water.’ ‘Come,’ he said” (Matthew 14:26-29).

Faith:
“Then Peter got down out of the boat, walked on the water and came toward Jesus” (verse 29).

Fear:
“But when he saw the wind, he was afraid and, beginning to sink, cried out, ‘Lord, save me!’ Immediately Jesus reached out his hand and caught him. ‘You of little faith,’ he said, ‘why did you doubt?’ And when they climbed into the boat, the wind died down” (verses 30-32).

Faith:
“Then those who were in the boat worshiped him, saying, ‘Truly you are the Son of God’” (verse 33).

What the disciples
perceived
as true controlled their emotions—though at times their perception was false. Of course, when Truth entered the boat, they moved from fear to faith, and His truth set them free.

In spite of his enormous initial fear, Gideon eventually accomplishes the supernatural in the power of God because he believes in the promises of God and acts on them in faith. At first he sees himself as a weak thresher, but God sees him as a mighty warrior. Then as Gideon takes God at His word and acts out of faith rather than fear, his faith in God grows, his courage as a warrior grows, and finally he comes to see himself as God sees him. With each progressively more fearful situation, God’s reassurance helps Gideon to choose, as an act of his will, to trust God and move forward in victory. With each new step, Gideon’s fear becomes weaker and his faith becomes stronger.

Identifying your fear and its “triggers” will help deprive those triggers of their power. Your regular, repeated exposure to a trigger (something that initiates a sense of fear or danger) can help to desensitize you to it. If your fear is situational or if you are under medical care for panic attacks,
you can move toward victory as you walk one step at a time through the following process.

After repeating a specific step day after day for a week or two, or until you no longer have a strong emotional reaction, move on to the next step. A slight reaction is expected and permissible before moving to the next step.

Gradually increase your exposure to the fear

Example of a specific phobia:
fear of elevators

—Stand near an elevator and watch people get on and off.

—Push the button
as if
getting ready to step inside.

—Step inside when other people are not around. Hold the “Door Open” button, count to five and step out.

—Step inside again (when others are not around). Hold the “Door Open” button, count to ten, then step out.

—Step inside, ride to only one floor, and exit.

—Ride to two floors…three…eventually all the way up and down for ten minutes.

A supportive person can be present for each step, initially also doing the activity—then later not participating, but remaining present to encourage and praise.

Practice facing your fear

Example of a social phobia:
fear of initiating conversation

—Initiate by simply saying hello with a smile.

—Practice being genuinely interested in each person you speak with. Ask yourself,
What is truly meaningful to that person?
Then mention it or ask about it.

—Listen carefully to what is said by others.

—Ask follow-up questions.

—Ask simple, open-ended questions of others about themselves—questions that can’t be answered with just a yes or no.

—Intentionally use the words
you
and
yours
more in conversations than you use
I
and
my.

—Make brief comments about yourself.

—Practice by asking a salesperson questions.

—Every day, practice saying general questions you could ask anyone:

“Who has been the most influential person in your life?”

“What was your favorite subject in school?”

“What do you enjoy doing more than anything else?”

“Of all that you have done, what has given you the greatest satisfaction?”

Repeat each step until it evokes little reaction

Example of agoraphobia:
fear of a panic attack (fear in open spaces)

—Open your front door and leave it open.

—Stand in the open doorway for as long as possible.

—Go out the door and stand on the porch—breathe deeply.

—Walk down the sidewalk to the edge of your property.

—Walk around the outside of your house.

—Sit in the car while it is in the driveway.