How to Handle Your Emotions (Counseling Through the Bible Series) (21 page)

—Dark thoughts:
“I can’t see the path I should take.”
Light of truth:
“The Lord will direct my path.”

“Trust in the L
ORD
with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight”

(P
ROVERBS
3:5-6).

—Dark thoughts:
“My burden is too heavy to bear.”
Light of truth:
“The Lord is my Burden-Bearer.”

“Praise be to the Lord, to God our Savior, who daily bears our burdens”

(P
SALM
68:19).

—Dark thoughts:
“I’m afraid to be around people.”
Light of truth:
“The L
ORD
will give me strength to be around people.”

“The L
ORD
is my light and my salvation— whom shall I fear? The L
ORD
is the stronghold of my life—of whom shall I be afraid?”

(P
SALM
27:1).

—Dark thoughts:
“My confidence is completely shaken.”
Light:
“The Lord will keep my life from being shaken.”

“I have set the Lord always before me. Because he is at my right hand, I will not be shaken”

(P
SALM
16:8).

T
HE
W
ILL

People who have prolonged depression often have a paralysis of the will and feel that life has stripped them of their choices. They feel stranded in the middle of the storm with no real options. But that is far from the truth. While it is true that life is sprinkled with unavoidable discouragement, you
can
avoid letting your mind become drenched with discouragement. That is your choice; it’s an
act of the will.

After an initial downpour, you can choose to stay in bed, procrastinate, and
rely on yourself
for relief, or you can choose to get underneath God’s umbrella of protection and
rely on Him.
Jesus said, “Do not let your hearts be troubled. Trust in God; trust also in me” (John 14:1). You can choose to trust the Lord with your life; He is worthy of your trust.

Even if you don’t feel like it…

•
Listen
to uplifting and inspirational music.

•
Keep
your living environment bright and cheerful.

•
Maintain
a clean, uncluttered environment.

•
Clear
your home of objects associated with activities related to the demonic or the occult.

•
Resist
long periods of time on the telephone, which keep you from accomplishing what is needed.

•
Avoid
spending too much time watching television.

•
Write
thank-you and encouragement notes to others.

•
Set
small, attainable goals every day.

•
Look
for something you can do for someone else each day, and you will experience God’s truth that, indeed, “it is more blessed to give than to receive” (Acts 20:35).

“Preserve sound judgment and discernment, do not let them out of your sight; they will be life for you, an ornament to grace your neck”

(P
ROVERBS
3:21-22).

T
HE
E
MOTIONS

Often people who are depressed have difficulty expressing their feelings in a healthy way. A common cause of depression is buried feelings as a result of loss or past hurts. Yet ignored or denied feelings won’t go away. They are buried alive, deep inside your soul, where they fester and create an infection that produces poison in your body. That is why it is vital to face your feelings.

Bring your heartache and hurts, your anger and anxieties, your fear and frustrations to Jesus. Pour out your heart to Him and receive His comfort. He alone understands the depth of your pain. The Bible assures us that

“we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are—yet was without sin. Let us then approach the throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need”

(H
EBREWS
4:15-16).

Question:
“What is anniversary depression?”

Answer:
Anniversary depression is a yearly, recurring depression related to
the anniversary date of a traumatic event. Triggered by painful memories, this involuntary, emotional reaction lasts for only a limited period of time.

Examples:

—Many women dive into a depression each year around the anniversary of the abortion of their child or the anniversary of placing their child into another home for adoption.

—Widowed men and women can have anniversary depression around the date of their mate’s death.

The Bible speaks of being mired in the pain from the past, but also offers the key to getting unstuck and restoring our hope. We have to make the choice to change our focus.

“I remember my affliction and my wandering, the bitterness and the gall. I well remember them, and my soul is downcast within me. Yet this I call to mind and therefore I have hope: Because of the L
ORD
’s great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness”

(L
AMENTATIONS
3:19-23).

Here are some ways to deal with anniversary depression:

—Understand that your depression is rooted in a real loss from your past and that what you are experiencing is not uncommon.

—Acknowledge your emotions. Write out all painful memories and process them with a helpful person you can trust.

—Release your pain to the Lord, and receive His comfort and healing.

Lord,

You know the pain I’ve felt over
(
specifically list each hurt, each failure,
and each person associated with the pain
).

I now release all this pain into Your hands.

Set me free in my soul and spirit.
Thank You for wanting to heal me and make me whole.

In Your precious name I pray. Amen.

“The L
ORD
is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit”

(P
SALM
34:18).

•
Anticipate any upcoming anniversary and plan ahead for ways to counter possible depression. For instance, plan a trip with someone or arrange a social event so you will not be alone and so your mind will be focused on something other than the past event.

•
Turn your anniversary date into an occasion that will produce new, positive memories by serving others in a meaningful way.

“It is more blessed to give than to receive”

(A
CTS
20:35).

3. T
HE
S
PIRIT

The security and strength of every Christian is the day-by-day indwelling presence of the Holy Spirit. Zechariah 4:6 reveals that God plans for you to be an overcomer—“not by might nor by power, but by [His] Spirit.” Since He is literally God living within you, you are to live dependently on Him for everything.

Even in the depths of your despair and the darkness of your depression, God is with you, for His Spirit is within you. When you cry in the night, He sees every teardrop and holds your soul as a mother holds her crying infant to her heart. Though you do not see Him with your physical eyes, nor feel Him with your physical touch, you can see Him with your spiritual eyes and you can experience His joy and His “peace…which transcends all understanding” (Philippians 4:7). He promises to give you hope for your heart. To overcome depression, look not to yourself, but to Him who is the God of hope.

“May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit”

(R
OMANS
15:13).

When darkness enters into our lives, we can too easily become consumed with the situation that causes our darkness. At such times, we have difficulty seeing all that God wants for us to see. During those days when we are shrouded in darkness, we must not trust in our own perspective. Instead, we need to see life from God’s perspective. And the only way to have that view is to confront our losses, offer our hearts to God, and allow Him to shed His light on our lives.

“Let him who walks in the dark, who has no light, trust in the name of the L
ORD
and rely on his God”

(I
SAIAH
50:10).

How can you C-O-N-Q-U-E-R depression?

C
Confront all the losses in your life.

Allow yourself to grieve and be healed.

“[There is] a time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance”

(E
CCLESIASTES
3:4).

O
Offer your heart to Christ and give Him control.

Confess your sins and He will cleanse you.

“If we claim to be without sin, we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us. If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness”

(1 J
OHN
1:8-9).

N
Nurture the thoughts of God’s love for you.

God’s love for you will never end.

“I have loved you with an everlasting love; I have drawn you with loving-kindness”

(J
EREMIAH
31:3).

Q
Quit all negative thinking.

Replace all negative self-talk by focusing on the positive.

“Whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things”