Read How to Catch a Wild Viscount Online
Authors: Tessa Dare
Tags: #Romance, #Historical Romance, #Tessa Dare, #regency romance
“
Luke
.”
Her peak came quickly. Too quickly. She gave a startled cry of pleasure and clutched his neck. Shamelessly, he slid a finger inside her, needing to feel that part of her grip him too.
Then it was over. All of it, over.
He caressed her until her breathing slowed. Then, with a light parting kiss to her thigh, he rearranged her drawers and petticoats before lifting his weight on shaky legs.
What to say, when she looked at him thus? Her heart shining in her eyes, her taste lingering on his tongue. After what they’d just shared, he couldn’t lie to her. He couldn’t tell her she meant nothing to him, then callously walk away. No, he had to find some way to make her understand she meant everything to him. And while he still must walk away, there would be nothing callous about it.
“Cecy.” He smoothed the hair from her face. And then, in a solemn tone of farewell, “You’re lovely.”
“No.” She grasped his lapel with one hand and reached for his trouser falls with the other. “No, don’t go.” Cupping the hard ridge of his erection, she kissed his neck and whispered fiercely, “I know you want me. You must know I want you too. Luke, I—”
“Don’t.” Summoning his last shred of restraint, he tugged her hand from the buttons and brought it to his lips. “You may think you want me, but it’s Denny you need. You deserve to be happy, Cecily. Adored, doted upon, surrounded by a half-dozen blue-eyed children. I want you to have that life.”
“Then give me that life.”
“I can’t. Don’t you see? Everything’s different now. I’m different now. I’m not that dashing, immortal youth who kissed you in the garden all those years ago.”
She stroked his cheek. “I’m not the giddy, moonstruck girl you kissed. I’m a woman now, with my own fears and desires. And a heart that’s grown stronger than you’d credit. Strong enough to contain four years’ worth of love.”
He cleared his throat and studied the wood paneling. The whorls of grain twisted and churned as he blinked. “You should have saved it for someone else.”
“I’ve never wanted anyone else.” She tugged on his chin until he met her gaze. “
Luke
. Fight for me.”
He shook his head. “I’m done with fighting.”
“And I’m done with waiting,” she said. “If you walk away from me again . . .”
“We’re finished. I know.” Tenderly, he hooked a wisp of her hair with his fingertip and slowly tucked it behind her ear. “Marry Denny.”
She stared at him, lips parted in disbelief. “What a liar you are. You keep insisting you’ve changed, but you haven’t changed one bit. Toying with my affections one moment, callously discarding them the next. I can’t decide whether you’re deceiving me or just lying to yourself.”
“Don’t overthink it, Cecy.” Turning aside, he tugged casually on each of his cuffs. “You said it best last night. I’m an arrogant, insufferable cad.”
He stepped away, stretching the taut thread of silence between them.
Long moments passed before she spoke. “Very well,” she said numbly. “I’ll speak with Denny today.”
“Cecily! Merritt! There you are.” Portia burst into the room, clearly too full of excitement to notice Cecily’s mussed hair or Luke’s skewed cravat, much less the tension hanging in the air. “I’ve been searching this whole blasted house for you.”
Thank God for rambling old estates. If Portia had found them a few minutes earlier . . .
“Come quickly, both of you. Denny’s gamekeeper found—” She made an impatient gesture and ran to Cecily’s side, taking her arm. “I’ll give you the details on the way. We’re off to the woods, all of us.”
Cecily shot Luke a strange glance before turning to her friend. “What is it, Portia?”
“Why, the werestag, of course.”
“S
o you’ve decided
to join us this time,” Denny said.
Luke shrugged. “Didn’t want to miss the entertainment.”
Together the men covered the sloping green in long, easy strides. Luke glanced over his shoulder at Cecily, who walked between Portia and Brooke. Her pale blue muslin gown caught the late-afternoon breeze, pulling against her soft, feminine curves, and he damn near sighed with longing. Things might be finished between them—they had to be—but he’d be damned if he’d let her wander loose in that forest a second time. The devil only knew what fearsome creature she might meet with, or shed her stocking for, next.
“We’re going another way this time,” Denny explained. “There’s a cottage tucked deep in the forest there.” Shading his eyes with one hand, he indicated the direction with the other. “My gamekeeper uses it from time to time, and he found something suspicious there this morning.”
“Not suspicious,” Portia objected, as the other group joined them at the trailhead. “Gothic and intriguing.”
“Please,” said Brooke. “A discarded stocking is neither gothic nor intriguing. It’s laundry.”
Luke’s eyes shot to Cecily. “He found the stocking?” He swallowed. “
Your
stocking?”
“So it would seem.” She clasped her hands together. “It was . . . soiled.”
“Crusted with blood, you mean.” Portia’s dark eyes widened as she touched Luke’s arm. “
Werestag
blood. It’s positively chilling. He truly must be the most fearsome, violent sort of creature. I tell you, Lord Merritt, if you could have seen the mincemeat he made of that boar . . .” She shuddered. “No one who witnessed that scene could doubt Cecily’s rescuer was half wild beast.”
All eyes turned to Cecily. Denny laid a hand on her pale blue sleeve, and Luke felt a possessive fury surge through his veins.
Let it go
, he told himself.
Let her go
.
“Portia, he saved my life.” Cecily’s voice was indignant, and she shrugged off Denny’s touch. “Unarmed and unaided, he killed a ferocious boar that would have gored and devoured me. Yes, it was messy. Battles to the death often are. Stop speaking as though he took pleasure in it.”
“Your defense is most stirring, Miss Hale.” Luke deliberately adopted a formal, detached tone that he knew would only inflame her anger. “You seem to have developed a rather personal attachment to this man-beast.”
Tears glittered in her eyes as she glared at him. Tears, and accusations. “He fought for me.”
The group fell into an uncomfortable silence. She sniffed and dropped her eyes, and Luke took the opportunity to study her pale expression of distress.
Cecily, Cecily.
Foolish girl, to think herself enamored with a beast. She could have no conception of Luke’s animal side. There were times during the war he’d been stripped down to it—become a base, feral creature that knew only hunger, sweat and the smells of blood and fear.
She was dreaming after a myth: a gentleman who dallied as a noble beast, rescuing damsels in some enchanted forest. With Luke, she would get a beast wearing the clothes of a man. An uncivilized creature who’d lost all enjoyment in balls and parlor games, who’d forgotten the words to all her trite little songs of green meadows and shepherds and love.
Enjoy your fantasy world, Cecily. Let me visit you there, from time to time.
“Now this is a thrilling development,” Portia sang. “I knew it. What an enchanting twist this will make for my novel. The heroine is in love with the werestag.”
“No, the heroine is
not
.” Fingers pressed to her temples and eyes squeezed shut, Cecily took a deep breath and began again. “Forgive me. But I tell you with perfect candor, I am not in love with a werestag. I’m just feeling . . . a bit out of sorts. Perhaps I’ve a headache coming on.” She extended a hand to Denny. “Will you walk with me? I feel better when you’re near.”
“But of course.” He tucked her hand into the crook of his elbow, and then addressed Luke. “Why don’t you lead the others on ahead? The path leads directly to the cottage. It’s not as though you could become lost. Cecily and I will catch up.”
Luke nodded. He turned and marched forward, a sense of hopelessness hollowing out his chest. He knew exactly what conversation would take place between Cecily and Denny on the way to the cottage. Well. That was that. When they returned to Swinford Manor this evening, he’d instruct his valet to pack up his things. Perhaps Luke would even ride out tonight. He could bring himself to let her go, but he’d be damned if he’d sit around and toast the happy couple’s betrothal.
To that, he would drink alone. In copious amounts.
“Very well,” said Portia thoughtfully. “Perhaps the heroine is not in love with the werestag. It makes a much better story if the beast is in love with her. So close, and yet so far from his beloved. Doomed to watch her from afar, never to hold her again. How tragically romantic.”
“How patently ridiculous,” Brooke replied.
Luke strode briskly ahead, leaving them to their quarrel. He would not have admitted it, but he rather agreed with them both.
She would tell
him, Cecily bargained with herself, once they reached that small boulder. Or perhaps the little patch of ferns. Failing that, she would most certainly break the news before they passed that gnarled birch tree.
Denny kept pace with her easily, as he always did. Their silence was companionable, as it always was. All the while, Cecily kept up this internal bartering, staving off the inevitable just one more minute . . . and then again one minute more.
At last she halted at a rotted, mossy stump. “I cannot marry you,” she told the clump of toadstools flourishing at its base. “I’m so terribly sorry. I should have told you years ago, but—”
“For God’s sake, Cecily.” His soft laugh startled her, and she lifted her gaze. “You can’t do this, not yet. How can a lady refuse a man, when he hasn’t even proposed? I won’t stand for it.”
“It’s not right, Denny. I’ve known for some time now that we wouldn’t . . . that I couldn’t . . .”
He shushed her gently, placing his hands on her shoulders. “The truth is, we know nothing of what could be or would be. We’ve been delaying this conversation for years now, haven’t we? I’ve been waiting for . . . Well, I hardly know what I’ve been waiting for. Something indefinable, I suppose. And you’ve been waiting for Luke.”
Her breath caught. Denny knew?
Oh, dear
. Perhaps she shouldn’t be so surprised. They’d grown up together. He’d known her longer than anyone.
“Yes, of course I knew,” he said, as if reading her thoughts. “Why do you think I invited you both here, to my home? I wanted to know how matters stood between you.”
“And how do they stand?” she asked, hoping he would understand her better than she knew herself.
He sighed. “I know he has some strange hold on your heart. But I believe you’d be happier marrying me.”
Cecily shook her head in disbelief. If she didn’t know better, she would think him working in concert with Luke. Their arguments were one and the same.
“But, Denny . . .” She prayed these words would not hurt his pride overmuch. “But we don’t love one another, not in that way.”
“Perhaps not. But you’ve been in love with Luke for four years now. Has it made you happy?”
She had no answer to that.
“And I’ll admit, bachelorhood is losing its charms for me.” Gently, he folded her hands in his. “I know there is no grand passion between us, Cecily. But there is genuine caring. Honesty. Respect. Lasting unions have been built on foundations far weaker than these. And in time, perhaps some deeper attachment would grow. We don’t know what could happen, if only we gave it a chance.”
He brought her hands to his lips and kissed them warmly—first the knuckles, then each sensitive palm—before pressing them to either side of his face and holding them there. The sweetness in the gesture surprised her, as did the fond regard in his eyes.
This was Denny’s face she held in her hands. Dear, familiar, uncomplicated Denny, with the dimple on his right cheek and the tiny pockmark on the other. She’d known this face since her childhood. Could she learn to see to him in a new light, as a husband? She did want children and companionship and a happy home—all the things Luke refused to offer her.
She sighed. “I don’t know what to say.”
“That’s all right. I’m not asking you to say yes, not right now. Just . . . don’t say no quite yet?”
He smiled then, that crooked, endearing Denny smile. And he kissed her, still holding her hands pressed against his face.
It was sweet. He tasted of tea and peppermint, and his lips felt soft and warm. Denny’s kiss was mild, tender. Comforting and comfortable. And it was wretchedly unfair to him, that even as he claimed her lips, her heart remained divided. She couldn’t stop comparing this kiss to Luke’s.
It just wasn’t the same.
“Do you hear
something?” Portia asked, after they’d been walking some time.
“No,” said Brooke.
“Wait!” Portia signaled the men to halt, then put a finger to her lips for silence.
Luke shifted his feet impatiently, anxious to move on. If they stood here too long, Cecily and Denny might catch them.
“There,” Portia said, cupping one hand around her ear. “Do you hear it? That rustling sound, like dry leaves.”
“Dry leaves, in a forest,” Brooke replied. “Imagine.”
Luke forged ahead, and the pair followed, bickering in agitated whispers. The cottage couldn’t be much farther. Perhaps he could simply barricade the two of them in it and leave. The sooner these two shared a bed, the sooner everyone else could get some peace.
“Wait!” she called again.
Luke pivoted on his heel. “What now?”
“Look at these marks.” Portia pointed to a narrow stripe of depressions in the soil. “Why, they look like deer tracks.”
Brooke rubbed his eyes. “Deer tracks, in a forest. Imagine.”
“But we don’t know they belong to a deer! They could belong to him.” With a self-conscious hunch of her shoulders, she lowered her voice to a murmur. “You know, the
werestag
.”
“Why are you whispering? Afraid the man-deer might overhear you?” Brooke gave a caustic laugh. “My dear Mrs. Yardley, your fancies grow more amusing by the moment. What on earth would lead you to believe these simple deer tracks are the marks of a vicious werestag?”