Day-um
, what a night.
And what a morning, too. He’d slipped away
before first light, when the woman he’d spent the night loving lay
tangled in the sheets, gently snoring. He’d left thinking that he
had things to do before he could come back to her. He had to get
his life in order here before he could ask her for more.
If he had to sit at that damn desk in Girard
Oil headquarters, he’d do it. Provided the choice was still his, of
course. The board could recommend a court-martial, and then
Leavenworth was a sure thing for a while. He’d cross that bridge
when he came to it.
Matt’s eyes snapped open as he sensed another
presence. Colonel Mendez stood inside the door, glaring at him.
“You’ve caused a lot of trouble, son. I hope
you got a piece of ass out of it at least.”
Matt tamped down on the urge to strike. Yeah,
like punching a colonel would help his case any. “I did what was
necessary to save lives, sir.”
Mendez blew out a breath. “Horseshit. You
were dazzled by a woman. And you compromised HOT assets to perform
an unauthorized mission.”
“I’m willing to accept the consequences,
sir.”
Mendez cocked an eyebrow. “Are you now?”
Matt stood at stiff military attention. “Sir,
yessir.”
“Goddamn it, boy, knock it off.” Mendez
flopped into a chair. “You make me tired, you know that? I had you
pegged for this job someday. You were due to make major soon. Light
colonel would come in due course, and HOT could’ve been yours.”
“I fucked up.”
“Damn right. What are you planning to do
about it?”
Matt took a deep breath and closed his eyes
briefly. When he opened them again, Mendez was watching. “I’m
resigning my commission, sir. Effective immediately—if the board
will accept it.”
Mendez rocketed to his feet. “What? You can’t
possibly want that, Matt.”
“I do, sir.”
“The woman?”
Matt swallowed hard. The woman. Evie. “I’m in
love, sir.”
Mendez’s eyes glittered. “You better be damn
sure, soldier. Don’t give up your career for a piece of pussy.”
Matt stiffened. “Sir, I respectfully request
you shut the fuck up.”
Mendez let out a bark of laughter. “Okay, you
got it bad. I see that. But there’s still the hearing to get
through.”
“I’ll accept whatever they decide. And I
won’t contest I used HOT assets to aid a civilian.”
“That’d be a fucking shame then.”
Matt shook his head. “I’m not following
you.”
“If you admit to that, then I got to admit I
authorized it. And then Kev and the boys will have to admit they
were involved. That cell’ll get mighty crowded out there in
Leavenworth. And if you think I’m sharing a shower with you, stud,
you’re crazy. You’ve been eyeing my ass since you came to work
here.”
Matt couldn’t help laughing. “Respectfully,
sir, your ass notwithstanding, I’d rather shower with a rabid
monkey.”
Mendez laid a hand on his shoulder. “We’re
getting orders, son. HOT’s moving to D.C. We’re going deep black,
deeper than we’ve ever been. I need you there, leading your team.
We have so much to do in this crazy world these days. The Freedom
Force is still out there, still making plans to kill innocent
people. We’re gonna get Ibn-Rashad, and any other terrorist shitbag
that gets in our way. I need your help to do all these things.”
Matt let out a shaky breath. It’s what he
wanted, what he’d always dreamed of. But what about Evie? What
about his plans for the future? How could he have everything he
wanted without compromise? “I have to get through this hearing
first. I’ll decide what comes next when it’s over.”
“Fair enough,” Mendez replied. “But you just
remember that no relationship built on lies ever succeeds.”
“Sir?”
“Assuming you get through this hearing in one
piece, you better be damn sure resigning your commission is what
you want. Don’t lie to yourself. You’ll end up blaming her for it,
and that’s not fair to her or you. Take time to be sure it’s the
right choice first.”
Matt’s chin dipped in a firm nod. “Hoo-ah,
sir.”
Mendez glanced at his watch. “They’re waiting
for us. You ready, kid?”
* * *
“Mm-mm, look at that boy, all grown up and
better looking than a man ought to be.”
Evie’s gaze snapped to the front of the
beauty parlor. The ladies were looking out the picture window where
a dark-haired man climbed from a silver BMW. He stood there for a
second, staring at the shop like he was about to enter a nest of
vipers.
Her stomach dropped to her toes and her pulse
kicked up.
God, he looked good. Tall and gorgeous in
jeans and a white T-shirt that set off his tanned skin and clung to
the ripples of hard muscle she’d personally explored with her
tongue.
Her heart slammed painfully against her ribs.
Her mouth dried up like baked dirt. Four weeks. He’d crept away in
the early dawn hours while she’d slept and she hadn’t heard from
him again. She’d known that last night was all they’d had, but
she’d still been stunned to wake alone.
She’d thought they would say their goodbyes
face-to-face. That they’d part with a last kiss and touch. But they
hadn’t. After she’d realized he was gone, she’d given herself a
good talking to. She’d known going over there that day what would
happen if she did. She’d walked right into the lion’s den.
Willingly.
She couldn’t blame him for doing what he’d
said he was going to do. So she’d picked herself up and got on with
the task of rebuilding her life.
She’d sunk so low as to call him once, but he
hadn’t answered his phone and she hadn’t left a message. She’d
worried he might have gotten tossed into prison for helping her,
but she’d seen Misty Lee Girard a few times and finally broke down
to ask if they’d heard from Matt. He’d called home once, she said,
to tell them he was moving to Washington D.C. Since Leavenworth was
in Kansas, Evie figured he’d gotten away with using his connections
to help her. She’d been thankful for that.
He finally seemed to make up his mind after
striding back and forth a couple of times and headed toward the
door.
Butterflies swirled in her belly. But this
time she wasn’t hiding in the stock room. This time, she’d stand
right here and wait. If he wanted a haircut, fine. If he wanted to
talk to her, fine.
She could handle it. They were friends,
nothing more.
No one knew how she ached inside, not even
Mama, Julie, or Sarah. Evie and Matt were heroes in Rochambeau. No
one stopped to think for two seconds that her heart might be
broken, despite the picture the wedding photographer took that was
featured on page one of the
Rochambeau Bee
. The one of her
and Matt kissing before they’d taken off to the guesthouse for that
night of incredible sex.
Her heart turned over just remembering what
he’d done to her. What they’d done to each other. She bent over and
picked up a magazine, fanning herself. It was August. Notoriously
hot.
“You gonna be okay, sugar?” Mama asked softly
as she sidled up. Sarah stood on the other side of her, reached
out, and squeezed her hand.
“You want me to tell him to get lost?”
Sarah’s dark eyes flashed with anger.
Evie looked at them both in shock. Okay, so
much for no one knowing. They’d never said anything, but clearly
they’d known.
“I’ll be fine.” She put an arm around each of
them and hugged them close.
“Why don’t I just tell him we don’t cut
gentlemen’s hair anymore?” Mama held her scissors in one hand. Her
wrist was still encased in a splint, but it was healing well.
Somehow she managed to cut hair as long as the style wasn’t too
complicated. She couldn’t do perms, but she’d hired two new
stylists who took up the slack for her. The shop was doing better
than ever, in fact.
Evie smiled. “No, I’ll handle it. You go back
to cutting Mrs. Landry’s hair.”
The bell tinkled then and Matt stood on the
threshold, scanning the shop. “Afternoon, ladies.”
“Afternoon,” they said in chorus with a lilt
on the last syllable.
The instant he found her, she felt a jolt
right down to her toes. The shop got oddly silent, the ladies’
heads moving as their gazes ping-ponged between Matt and Evie. She
wanted to disappear.
“Can I talk to you?”
Evie tossed the magazine onto a chair,
forcing a smile. “Sure.”
Sarah reached for her hand one more time, and
Evie gave her an answering squeeze before crossing the floor. Matt
held the door open and she passed outside with him. He walked over
to a bench beneath a magnolia tree a few feet away. He sat. She
crossed her arms and stood looking down at him. The air was hot,
still, and a bead of sweat trickled between her breasts.
A car without a muffler rumbled by on the
street and Matt finally looked up and met her gaze. “Will you sit
with me?”
“I’ll stand, thanks.”
He took a deep breath, then blew it out.
“You’re probably pissed at me, right?”
“What makes you think that?”
“I left without saying goodbye.”
“No, you said goodbye. Several times in
fact.”
“I had orders.”
She nodded. “Yes, the hearing. You told me
about it. How did it go?”
He dropped his gaze to his clasped hands. “I
was cleared. They said it wasn’t my fault my team members died. But
I still blame myself for it, Evie.”
She wanted to reach for him. She didn’t do
it. “I think that’s natural, but maybe it wasn’t your fault, you
know? You told me it’s a dangerous job. Surely those men knew it
too.”
His jaw tightened. “Yeah.”
Evie drew in a breath. “Well, that’s good you
were cleared.” He loved his job. She was happy for him if he could
continue doing what he wanted. And yet she was sad too. Because he
couldn’t see past what he wanted to do to think she could be a part
of his life anyway. He’d taken the choice away from her.
And that made her angry.
“It’s certainly not bad.” He shoved a hand
through his close-cropped hair. He’d gotten it cut since he was
last here. It was super short—and yet it looked hot on him. “I’m
not going about this well.”
“What is it you’re trying to say, Matt? Just
say it and be done with it, okay? I have to get to work soon.”
“Work?”
“I took a job over at Charlie’s. I’m teaching
him how to make some new dishes. We’re adding to the menu.”
His smile made her heart skip a beat. “That’s
awesome, Evie.”
“Yes. I’m waiting tables too. For the tips,”
she added. “Maybe I’ll save enough to someday start my own place
again.”
It wasn’t likely, waiting tables, but she was
no longer sitting and waiting for a way out of Rochambeau. Whatever
the future held, she’d deal with it. If that future was here in
Rochambeau—well, she could think of worse fates. She was too strong
to let it worry her anymore. Something she’d realized over the last
few weeks was that Rochambeau had never been the problem. She had.
And she’d finally made her peace with that.
She sank beside Matt on the bench, as far
away as she could get.
But he captured her hand in his, rubbing the
skin of her wrist with his thumb. Her skin sizzled and she tried to
pull away. He held on a moment. Then he let go, sighing.
“I’m sorry. For everything. I shouldn’t have
left the way I did.”
Evie tucked her hands between her knees. “You
had to go.”
He looked up, his gaze capturing hers. She
saw something in the gray depths, something that made her chest
ache. “I resigned. Or I tried to. For you.”
Her heart gave a little hiccup. “What?”
“They wouldn’t accept it.”
“Wait a minute.” She shook her head in
disbelief. “You can’t resign from the military.”
“Well, you can as an officer, but they don’t
have to accept it. I figured the stuff that happened here had
pretty much sealed my fate so far as my job went. I thought they’d
be only too happy to let me go.”
“But they weren’t.”
He shook his head. “No.”
Frustration swirled inside her. “I never
wanted you to resign your job. It’s clear you do something
important. How could I ask you to stop when what you do saved
Sarah? You help people, and you’re good at it. I wouldn’t ask you
to stop.”
“I didn’t think I could ask you to live with
the fear.”
“That’s supposed to be my choice, don’t you
think?”
He was looking at her steadily. “Yeah.”
She processed that. “So you got to keep your
job. Why didn’t you call and let me know that much at least?”
He rubbed one hand across the back of his
neck. “I’ve made a hash of this from the beginning.” He spoke
almost to himself. “But I was out in the field. Deep cover, Evie. I
can’t call when I’m out there. And I know I should have called
before we went, but I wasn’t sure what you would say.”
“I’d have said ‘thank God you’re okay and not
going to jail.’ Or something like that.”
He blew out a breath. “I’ve misjudged you,
Evie. From the beginning. But I only wanted to protect you.”
She crossed her arms and glared. “I can make
up my own mind, thanks.”
“I know you can.”
This whole conversation was surreal. “So why
are you here?”
His gaze was suddenly intense. “Because I
couldn’t stop thinking about you. Because I couldn’t stop wondering
if you’d still want me.”
Her pulse hammered a wild drumbeat. “I think
I’ve wanted you since I was six years old. But that’s not something
that’s ever done me a lot of good.”
“I know, and I’m sorry for every time I ever
made you feel like your faith in me was misplaced.”
She sighed. “You only disappointed me twice,
Matt. Both times when you left.”
“I seem to be good at that.” He was staring
across the street now, his hands hanging between his legs as he
leaned forward on the bench.