Something she still wanted, if she were
honest with herself. But while she’d stood there, waiting for him
to come back, she started to panic. She asked herself what she was
doing and what she thought would happen if she and Matt had sex.
Suddenly, with him not there in the room, she’d lost her nerve.
Now, she pushed her hand through her damp hair and wondered if
she’d ever get that nerve again. If it was even a good idea.
“Thanks for doing this, Matt.”
“It’s not a problem,
chère
.”
Evie blew out a breath. “This night has
definitely not turned out the way I expected it to when Julie
dragged me to the lake.”
Matt chuckled. “No, I imagine not.” He
glanced over at her. “Do you have any idea where Sarah likes to
hang out? Who her friends are?”
Evie closed her eyes. She’d been home a month
and, no, she didn’t know any of that. Why didn’t she? She should
have known everything about her sister’s life. But she didn’t have
the first clue. What did that say about her?
“I don’t really know,” she said softly.
“Sarah and I aren’t all that close.”
“I’m sorry.”
“It’s my fault.” Evie twisted her fingers
together in her lap. “I was so determined to shake off the dust of
this town that I hardly ever came back. In almost eight years, I’ve
been home twice.”
He was quiet for a moment. “Rochambeau is the
kind of place that gets under your skin. You’re never quite free of
it.”
“That’s certainly true.” She stifled a bitter
laugh. “And here I am, back again, dying to get out as soon as I
can.”
“Is it still so bad?”
Evie shrugged. She’d been asking herself that
question for the past month. Was Rochambeau all that bad, or was it
just the way
she
felt whenever she was here? No one treated
her badly. No one seemed to care about anything that had happened
in the past. Oh, that wouldn’t stop them from gossiping over
something juicy—her and Matt together again after the Night That
Changed Everything—but they weren’t malicious or vindictive about
it.
“Honestly, I don’t know. I just know there
are a lot of memories here, and not all of them good.”
His hands flexed on the wheel. “Was it really
that bad? After I left?”
She swung her head toward him. He was in
profile to her, his handsome face so strong and beautiful. But his
jaw was tight. She had an urge to reach out and run her fingers
along his skin, to see him soften, even if only for a moment. She’d
sensed such pain in him tonight.
He wasn’t the same cocky bastard he’d been in
high school. She wanted to know what had happened to him. And yet
she knew he wasn’t going to share it with her. Matt had always kept
his secrets close.
“We keep coming back to this, don’t we?”
He glanced at her and then back at the road.
“Yeah, I suppose we do.”
“I could lie and tell you it was nothing. And
maybe it was, in retrospect. But not then. Then, I wasn’t prepared
for the teasing and bullying.”
He swore. “Jesus, I’m sorry. If I could go
back and kick my own ass, I’d do it.”
She shrugged. “It made me stronger in the
end.”
“You were always strong.”
She gave him a sad smile. “No, I was just
good at pretending.”
“I don’t believe that, Evie. You never let
anything stop you back then.”
“Maybe I was just too scared to give up.”
“Sometimes that’s all it takes. There have
been days—missions—when giving up would have been easier. But fear
of the unknown stops you, and then you come out on the other
side.”
“I suppose it’s a part of what made me who I
am today. It wasn’t a picnic, Matt, but I’m not still crying myself
to sleep over it at night.”
His throat worked as he swallowed. “You cried
yourself to sleep?”
“I was sixteen. Of course I did. But not
forever. These days, I never cry myself to sleep. I just deal.”
He frowned. “I’m sorry you lost your
restaurant.”
“Thanks. But I’ll start again. Eventually. I
lost my business, my life savings, a bit of my pride—but I’m
determined to fight until things get better.”
Because she would fling herself at the brick
wall again and again until she finally scaled it. She wasn’t the
kind of girl who gave up. She liked that about herself.
Matt shook his head. “I should have never
touched you, Evie.”
She laughed. “Matt, you were seventeen! What
kind of seventeen-year-old boy is going to turn down sex when it’s
offered?”
He pushed a hand through his hair and shot
her a self-deprecating grin. “Yeah, not likely, is it?”
“Especially not a boy like you. Rich,
spoiled, entitled.”
“Damn, you know how to jab a guy when he’s
down.” He was smiling at her, but she knew it bothered him.
“If I’d been in your place, I’d have done the
same thing. I don’t really blame you anymore, you know. It takes
two, and I was definitely a participant.”
“If I could change it, I would.”
She reached over and squeezed his arm. His
skin was warm, and a tingle slid over her. “I know.”
He glanced over at her one more time. “Now
please tell me there’s not a secret baby stashed away
somewhere.”
Evie stifled a groan. She’d heard that rumor.
It had started a couple of years after she’d left Rochambeau, but
so far as she’d known, Matt had never heard it. Clearly, she’d been
wrong.
“Oh God no! Believe me, if I’d gotten
pregnant, you’d have known. My mama would have marched out to
Reynier’s Retreat and demanded that your daddy haul your ass back
to Rochambeau.”
He laughed. “Yeah, and he’d have probably
done it too. Nobody crosses Norma Breaux.”
Evie put her face in her hands. “Sometimes,
this town. I had no idea you’d heard that one.”
“I figured if it had been true, things would
have happened as you said.” He shrugged. And then he looked somber
again. “I’m glad we didn’t make a baby, Evie. I don’t think either
of us was prepared to deal with that back then.”
“Definitely not. Can you imagine? We’d have a
nine-year-old right now.”
He looked… sad, she thought. Or maybe
troubled. “My life is not conducive to raising children.”
“Is that why you’ve never married?”
He sighed. “It’s kind of hard to maintain a
relationship doing what I do. Most women think twice before getting
involved with a guy like me.”
Evie shook her head. “I still don’t get why
you do it, but okay. Who am I to judge? If I’d done what I was
supposed to do, I’d have stayed in Rochambeau and found a guy to
settle down with.”
“But you aren’t the settling down type?”
“Oh, I think I probably am. Just not yet.”
She toyed with the edge of the shorts she wore. “I still have to
figure my own life out. See if I can accomplish my dreams without
always running into a roadblock of my own making.”
“We all make mistakes, Evie. I wouldn’t be
too hard on yourself for them. Could you have honestly known your
partner was going to steal from you?”
She’d asked herself that before. Many times.
“I like to think I might have realized it before he stole the
payroll, but he was really good at what he did. He was patient too.
I didn’t let him handle the money for months, but his advice was so
damn good. I could see the profits coming in and after a while it
just made sense to let him handle it. I looked at the books, but
there was nothing wrong.”
“Two sets of books then.”
“Yes. I’d just like to get to that point in
my life where the mistakes I make don’t have quite so many
consequences. For now, I’m back in Rochambeau and trying to figure
out how I can escape again.”
“You’ll figure it out, I’m sure. And just
remember, it could always be worse.”
“I’m not sure how.” She sounded glum and she
knew it.
He turned the car onto a dirt road and put
his foot on the brake. And then he looked at her steadily, the
harsh planes and angles of his face stark in the dimly lit
interior. “When you make a mistake, no one dies. Nothing on this
earth will make that kind of mistake better, I assure you.”
Evie swallowed back the lump in her throat.
Matt was a soldier, the kind of man who lived with life-and-death
decisions on a regular basis. How could she have forgotten that for
even a moment? She suddenly felt petty and small. As if he knew
what she was thinking, he reached out and ran his fingers along her
cheek.
“You’ve made mistakes, and you have every
right to regret them. But don’t let them own you, Evie. Don’t let
them be more important than they are.”
Before she could say a word, he flashed her
that famous smile again. “Now come on, let’s go cruise the make-out
spots and see if we can track down your sister.”
He turned back to driving, but Evie couldn’t
seem to drag her eyes away from him. He was definitely not the same
boy he’d been ten years ago. She’d had a crush on that boy—that
popular, gorgeous, unattainable boy.
But the man before her now was terrifying in
ways that boy hadn’t been. The man was empathetic, authentic—and
far more appealing than the boy had ever been.
Evie fixed her eyes on the dirt track in
front of the headlights, her heart thrumming a little bit faster
than it had before. He might be appealing, but she had to remember
that Matthew Girard was just as unattainable as ever.
And far more dangerous.
THEY SPENT OVER AN HOUR searching all the
popular spots where teens hung out. The kids weren’t happy to see
them, but a wad of cash waved under a few noses—thanks to Matt—made
them more talkative. Still, the only thing Evie knew about Sarah at
the end of it was that she was going out with a guy named Kyle
Jenkins.
But Kyle had been seen only a half hour
before and Sarah wasn’t with him. According to Mindy, Kyle had been
pretty pissed off when he’d blown through their little group
earlier. When Mindy asked where Sarah was, Kyle said they’d had a
fight and he didn’t know or care.
Mindy had no idea where Kyle had dropped
Sarah off, but it wasn’t with her. And it clearly wasn’t at home
either. Or hadn’t been in the last couple of hours.
“Why don’t you call your mother,” Matt said
as they drove away from the farmer’s field where Mindy and her
friends claimed they were only drinking sodas and smoking
cigarettes.
As if. She’d been sixteen once. She knew what
they were doing.
“If she had a falling out with this Kyle guy,
maybe she’s home by now,” Matt continued.
“I will. But we can’t leave those kids like
that.” Evie turned to peer out the back window at the gathering of
cars. “They have beer for sure. And who knows what else.”
Ten years ago, she’d have been doing the same
thing and thinking it was perfectly acceptable. But get a little
older, get a little more righteous. It wasn’t acceptable and she
couldn’t pretend it didn’t worry her.
“We won’t. I’ll call the RPD and have them
send a cruiser out.”
While Matt made a quick call to the police,
Evie punched in her mama’s number and waited as it rang and rang.
When it clicked over to the answering machine, Evie hung up with a
growl of frustration.
“No answer. Mama probably went out on her
own. Or maybe Sarah called her from the convenience store.”
That was one place they hadn’t gone yet. The
store was also a popular hangout for teens, who gathered in the
parking lot in their cars. They listened to their radios, danced,
and did whatever kids did. She’d spent many nights in that parking
lot when she’d been a teen. The owner, Mr. Landry, said he’d rather
have them there than out in a field somewhere. It worked for the
ones who couldn’t get someone to buy them any alcohol.
“So we’ll check it out. Then we’ll head for
your house. Keep trying.”
Evie’s phone blared suddenly. It startled her
so much that she fumbled it. “Shit!” She scrambled to pick it up
before it went to voice mail.
She punched the call button without looking
at the display. “Mama?”
“Hey, baby.”
Evie’s heart throttled up as she nearly
dropped the phone again. She clutched it tight and wished she could
reach through the other end. If she could, she’d choke the bastard.
“David? What the hell do you want?”
“Aw, is that any way to greet me, honey?”
Heat rolled inside her. Angry heat. He’d
disappeared from her life months ago. She’d spent weeks imagining
him behind bars, forced to listen while she told him how much she
hated him and what a prick he was. She’d wasted enough breath on
him in those imaginary conversations that she had no desire to
repeat any of it now.
“Unless you plan to tell me you’ve brought my
money back, I don’t want to hear anything you have to say. A lot of
people didn’t get paid that night you disappeared. You stole from
all of us, asshole.”
“Maybe you better listen anyway.” David’s
voice shifted, becoming low and menacing. “If you want to live,
that is.”
An arrow of fear sliced through her. Followed
by a wave of fury. “You dare call me and threaten me after what you
did? You think I believe you? You lied to me, stole my money, and
ruined my business. No way in hell do I believe anything you
say.”
David swore. “Yeah, yeah, I get it. You hate
me. But listen, damn it, I’m not kidding. I need your help or we’re
both dead. And maybe your mother and sister too. How about them,
huh?”
Evie forced herself to breathe normally.
Beside her, Matt was still, and she realized he’d pulled over to
the side of the road. She glanced at him. He watched her with a
single-minded focus that was almost unnerving.
“What do you want from me?”
“I need to talk to you.”
“You are talking to me.”
“No, I need to see you. It’s too dangerous to
explain over the phone. Can you meet me?”