He ran a hand through his shaggy hair and groaned. “We’ll talk later, girlie,” Yank said. He pulled on Noodle’s leash and he and the dog strode out of the room.
They were alone. Roper might have won the battle but he didn’t kid himself. He hadn’t yet won the war.
Amy’s heart beat fast in her chest and her head pounded so hard she thought both might explode. “How dare you!” She faced Roper and poked him hard in the chest. “This is my office. Where do you get off walking in here and calling the shots?”
Despite her words, a traitorous part of her was glad to see him. In the time since she’d been home, she’d been fighting her deepest feelings. The rational part of her understood that she and Roper were trouble waiting to happen. But looking at him now, it was difficult to remember why.
“You need to calm down and listen.”
She inhaled deeply. “What?” she asked, her voice deliberately cold.
He shook his head and laughed. “You don’t make things easy.”
She opted for silence.
“We grew close at the lodge,” he said in his most seductive voice.
She swallowed hard.
He stepped nearer. She stepped back. He stepped closer. She stepped back. The dance continued until her back hit the radiator by the window and he had her cornered.
Just as he had at the solarium. Memories and seductive heat swept through her.
“Very close,” he said as he took his final step, his thighs coming into direct contact with hers. “Remember?” He stroked her cheek with his hand.
“It’s over,” she said in a shaky tone. Damn, she hated the effect he had on her. The longing and wanting threatened to make her forget her reasons for not being with him.
“Actually, it’s just beginning.” His eyes bore into hers and his fingertips stroked her face, her cheek, her throat. “I love you, Amy.”
She couldn’t have heard him correctly, though everything inside her turned to liquid, molten heat and a sudden yearning for so much more settled inside her chest. “You—”
He inclined his head. “I love you and I believe you love me, too.”
Oh, my God. Oh, my God.
How long had she dreamed of the day when the man she loved would tell her he felt the same?
And she did love Roper.
She knew it in a soul-deep way and had for a while, though denying and pushing it away from her consciousness had become second nature.
“Tell me, Amy,” he said, his lips inches from hers.
She was enveloped by the sensual cologne he wore that made her weak. She wanted to let herself be swept away by the dream. But she couldn’t.
Because it was nothing more than a dream.
“I can’t.”
“No, you won’t. You’re scared. I understand that. I’ve never said those three words to any woman before in my life. But we can make it work.” His tone was low and imploring.
She drew a deep breath, steadying herself. Reminding herself of the reasons she’d left the lodge and had steered clear of him since. “We can’t. I gave you all the tools to fix your life. I took you away, I showed you what you needed. But the first time you were faced with a choice, you chose to cave into your family’s needs.”
“Let me explain.”
“In a minute. I need to finish first. Until you can make that separation between yourself and your family in a way that leaves you healthy emotionally, you aren’t remotely ready for the kind of relationship that love entails.” Her heart and her voice cracked as she spoke.
“Are you saying you love me, too?”
When she didn’t reply, the knowing smile that had teased the corners of his mouth disappeared. “I
will
handle my family. You just can’t expect me to shut them down with no explanation after a lifetime of doing just the opposite.”
He made sense. He did. But it wasn’t enough. She merely shook her head.
“There’s more bothering you than just my family,” he stated with certainty.
She trembled, unwilling to admit to anything more. She couldn’t put it into words herself. “The family issue’s enough, considering it’s not going to change.”
“It will. And when it does, are you going to admit you love me? Or are you going to use the press as another excuse to stay away?” Once again, he spoke as if he knew the answer.
She wondered why he even bothered asking the question. “The press is another part of the problem,” she admitted.
He narrowed his gaze. “But there’s more, isn’t there?”
Before she could answer, his cell phone rang.
Both Amy and Roper froze.
He glanced down at the number. “It’s Ben,” he said, meeting her gaze. “Ben never calls.”
“Unless something’s wrong. Go ahead and answer it,” she said, resigned, as she raised her hand, waving him away.
She wasn’t surprised at the intrusion. She supposed it was just as well. She didn’t want to have this painful talk, anyway.
“I’m going to handle this. I’m going to break my family into the way things are going to be from now on. And then I’m coming back to finish this conversation. We aren’t done. Not by a long shot,” he said, before answering his phone.
Oh, yes, we are,
she thought as she watched him engage in the same frustrating discussion with his brother that he always had.
Then he left without another word.
They were over.
It was exactly what she told herself she wanted and needed. Yet she’d never felt so miserable in her entire life.
BEN HATED SLEEPING ON
a friend’s couch. He hated feeling like a loser who couldn’t hold a job or make a go at any career he started. And he absolutely hated having to ask his brother for money.
“I just know I can make this gym thing work,” he muttered. But Roper didn’t want to talk about money. He wanted to talk to Ben about taking a demeaning coaching job. One that was beneath him.
But his big brother in the major leagues wouldn’t understand that he wouldn’t compromise his principles. Everything came easy for Roper. A father whose genes guaranteed talent and the magic touch with both women and baseball. So what if he was having one bad season?
It wasn’t the same as having a bad life.
“Are you moping again?” his friend Dave Martin, whose couch he currently occupied, asked.
Ben shrugged. “Feeling sorry for myself, I guess.”
“Well, your brother surfaced, so that ought to cheer you up. It means you can talk to him about our gym idea. My friend still hasn’t found a buyer, but he is talking with some people, so you need to step up the pressure before we lose out.” Dave sat down beside him and kicked his feet up on the table.
“At least you have a decent, well-paying job.”
“Being a trainer at Equinnox means I work for someone else. I want to work for myself. Make my own hours, boss someone else around.
I’ve been there more than ten years and I have the experience.”
“You just don’t have the money. I know.” And he was counting on Ben for the cash. Or rather Ben’s famous brother. “It just so happens my brother called a family meeting. I’m heading over to my mother’s suite for lunch.”
“Good. Just make sure you get some time alone with Roper and be your charming, persuasive self,” Dave said. “Your brother shouldn’t be so stingy with his money. He ought to share the wealth with his family.
Besides, it’s not as if he’s doing anything to earn it lately,” Dave said in a round of Roper-bashing Ben had become used to.
It bothered him, though. Ben didn’t mind complaining about his brother, but it irked him when others did it. For all Ben’s jealousy, Roper had been good to him and they
were
brothers. Which Ben was counting on to convince Roper not to give up on him just yet.
“I’m going to shower,” Ben said, rising. “And for the record, it’s not my charm I’m worried about. It’s my brother’s built-in immunity.”
“Make it happen,” Dave warned him. “Or else.”
Or else he’d be out a couch and on the street, Ben thought, finishing his friend’s sentence in his mind. There wasn’t much else he could do.
AS MUCH AS ROPER WANTED
a quick fix to his and Amy’s problems, he also understood he had obligations to his team, and so he threw himself wholeheartedly into his rehabilitation. Not only did he hope to return as quickly as his body allowed, but he hoped to prove to Amy that he was a man who learned—from his mistakes and from good, solid advice. That he was a man who kept his word.
Through it all, he also dealt with the daily traumas from his family that never seemed to cease. Complaints from his sister that his mother was lining up people and events for the wedding she wanted no part of.
Meetings with his mother and Harrison, mediating in order to keep his mother from being in breach of contract before actual work on the television project began. Ben wanting to show him the gym he wanted to invest in, all the while constantly pushing him for money.
Roper tried to tell them things had to change, but they weren’t listening. Or maybe, he realized, he wasn’t speaking clearly.
Just as Amy wasn’t coming after him. It was time he took charge in a decisive way, then acted on it.
So he’d called a family meeting. He wasn’t surprised when his mother balked at going out and insisted on hosting the family at her suite. Her new ploy to irritate Harrison was to avoid the public and the reporters questioning her about her new television series. He wanted them to be seen in public, so she adamantly refused to be seen at all.
Cassandra hadn’t come to terms with her contract and she was still running from Harrison Smith’s presence in her life. Ironically, Roper was beginning to accept and like the man. He appreciated the stability Harrison provided Roper’s mother and how he encouraged her independence and her career even if he had to manipulate her into agreement. Harrison could aid Roper’s need to free himself from his mother’s neediness—Roper just had to make the break, as guilty as he felt doing it. If Cassandra chose to rely on Harrison more instead of becoming more independent, that was
her
decision.
Roper would just have to assert his priorities in a way his family couldn’t misunderstand. Then he had to follow through. He hoped once his family understood, they’d support his efforts, if not now, eventually.
In the meantime, he’d get his ducks in a row, so to speak, and then challenge Amy to step up as he had.
That was in a perfect world, Roper thought. He entered his mother’s apartment to find his family already assembled. This was
his
world, and here, anything could happen.
“I’m glad everyone could make it,” Roper said.
“I was under the impression it was a command performance,” his mother said, obviously miffed.
He laughed. “Yes, it is. We’re
here
at
your
command,” he said.
“The food looks delicious. Everyone dig in,” he said, figuring they should have full stomachs before they heard what he had to say.
He chose a chicken wrap and a bottle of water and was on his way to sit beside Sabrina and Kevin when Ben grabbed his arm. “Got a minute for your brother?” he asked.
“Sure.” After today Roper would control his own minutes, so he didn’t mind talking to Ben now. He refrained from asking,
what can I
do for you?
knowing he probably wouldn’t like the answer.
They made their way to the empty kitchenette area. Ben pulled a can of Coke from the fridge, popped the top and took a long drink.
Roper ate his lunch standing, waiting for his brother to talk first.
“How’s the rehab?” Ben asked.
Roper wiped his mouth with a paper napkin. “Coming along,” he said warily.
It pained him to realize that gone were the days when he could confide in his brother about anything—and vice versa. Sure, Roper knew Ben bounced from idea to idea and rarely held a full-time job, but he didn’t understand why. Communication between the brothers had died a slow death about the same time Roper’s major league career had started to soar.
“Are you still crashing on Dave’s couch?”
Ben nodded. “It’s not bad. He’s got a fifty-inch flat screen so he can catch the Renegades away games and feel as if he’s really there.”
“He’s a fan,” Roper said.
“Season ticket holder.”
Roper nodded. The small talk wasn’t working for him. “What’s going on?” he asked his brother.
Ben shifted from foot to foot. “Here’s the thing. I need to talk to you and I don’t want you to turn me down without hearing me out.”
Here it comes, Roper thought. “Okay, what’s your pitch?” he asked, then listened to Ben expound on the perfect gym location in SoHo and how he hoped to bring the money, while Dave would bring the experience, and together they’d set up a fantastic business.
“There’s just one problem,” Roper said to his brother.
“What’s that?”
“You don’t have the money.” He had no choice but to lay it on the line for Ben in a way he’d never done before. He’d come here today to do just that with each family member, and Ben had given him the opening first.
Ben’s eyes opened wide in disbelief. “But you—”
“I don’t have it, either, and before you argue, call my accountant if you don’t believe me. Incoming money is tied to endorsements and performance. The rest is tied up for the future. My future.” He squared his shoulders and faced the brother he’d rarely refused.
This gym proposal was probably the only thing Roper had pushed aside and refused to discuss—proof he’d already been taking a stand even before Amy had entered his life.
“What about me? It’s not as if I have the talent to make it the way you did.” Ben’s voice dropped to a whine and his expression turned to a pout.
“That’s what I came here to talk about. Even if I did have the money in liquid cash, I wouldn’t be giving it to you. It’s time you stood on your own. You may not have what it takes to make it in the majors but you have plenty of other talents. Certainly enough to make a living and support yourself. More than support yourself, really.”
Ben rolled his eyes. “Oh, here it comes again. The old ‘why don’t you take a high school coaching job’ speech.”
“Why
don’t
you take a coaching job?”
“Because I’m better than that. But you wouldn’t know what it’s like to fall short, now would you?”