Authors: Mandee Mae,M.C. Cerny,Phalla S. Rios,Niquel,Missy Johnson,Carly Grey,Amalie Silver,Elle Bright,Vicki Green,Liv Morris,Nicole Blanchard
My heart begins to race because I know this isn’t good. My Denver? He’s moving
here
? I can already feel the pressure to meet up with him, especially now that I’ve given in to the talking on the phone part.
“Jill?” he laughs. “I’ll admit, dead silence was not the response I was going for. I was hoping for a little more excitement.”
“I’m sorry,” I mumble, my face growing warm. “It was just a shock. Wow. You’re moving out here.”
“You sound thrilled,” he comments dryly. “Anyone would think you’re not too keen to meet me.”
I groan and bury my head in my pillow. How do I explain this to him? “It’s not that. I do want to meet you. I’m just afraid you won’t like what you see,” I say carefully.
“Jill, look at it as gaining another friend. If it’s more than that, then great. But no pressure, okay?”
Another friend?
I snort. You’d need friends in the first place for that.
“Okay,” I sigh. “So, when do you move here?”
“Tomorrow.” I can almost hear his smile through the phone. “I don’t suppose you want to catch up for dinner?”
“Shouldn’t you be spending time with your ailing father?” I tease, but inside I’m dying. I can’t meet him tomorrow. There is now way I can carry on my lie in person. One look at me and he’ll see it in my eyes because ironically, I’m the worst liar ever.
“That’s what my sisters are for. I’m there to help him out at work.” He pauses. “Dad and I have…issues.”
“Oh.”
“Can I call you when I get in?”
“Sure.”
What the hell am I saying? I’m agreeing to meet the guy?
This is insane. He’s going to take one look at me and know I’m not twenty.
Fuck, fuck, fuck
.
“Good.” He sounds happy. “I guess I’ll be seeing you tomorrow, Jill.”
“I guess,” I say, my voice glum.
He laughs. “God, I love your enthusiasm.”
I’m officially a wreck.
There is no way in hell I’m going to be able to get through tomorrow night. I grab my phone and call Alice. She shrieks when I tell her I’m meeting Eli and then yells at me for not calling her earlier.
“Really?” she yells gleefully. “You little slut, I love you! When did this happen?”
“Before. He…called me this afternoon.”
“He
called
you? He called you hours ago and you’re telling me this now? I’m hurt, Jilly,” she whines. “You little bitch, you’ve been holding out on me. I’ve been telling you for weeks to talk to the guy!”
I laugh and sit down on my bed. “Thanks,” I reply. “What am I going to do? I can’t meet him.” I flop backwards onto the mattress and groan.
Alice and I met at school number eight, two years ago, and even though I’d moved on four times since then, we’d somehow remained strong friends. She is my only real friend. I convince myself I don’t need other people in my life because then it hurts less when I have to leave them, but having someone I can call in situations like this is great. Without her, I don’t know what I’d do.
She lives across the country but I see her on most holidays. With any luck, we’ll get into the same college and share a house and the awesome college experience I so desperately want. That’s the plan, anyway.
“What are you wearing?” she asks immediately.
“I’m sitting here in my bra and thong, you perve,” I tease, letting out a laugh. I glance down at my flannelette sleep shirt. I have no idea what to wear to meet him. At the moment,
this
is winning.
She howls with laughter. “Oh my god, you’re a dork. I mean tomorrow. It has to be the back chiffon number. You look way older in that. With your silver heels, and that diamond necklace your dad gave you,” she adds.
That’s a good choice, actually.
I get up and walk over to my closet and pull the dress out. Holding it against me, I check my reflection in the mirror. It’s perfect, and it really does make me look older. Maybe this won’t be the total flop I’m expecting.
“Thanks, Al. This is why I love you.”
“You have to call me tomorrow night and tell me everything. And if you wimp out I swear I’ll kill you,” she warns. “I’m serious. I want second-to-second details, okay? And text me so I know he hasn’t murdered you.”
“Okay,” I giggle. “If you don’t hear from me by eleven, call the police.”
“I swear to god, Jill, don’t fucking joke about that because I will. You know how my imagination likes to wander.”
That is an understatement if I’ve ever heard one. Alice has the mind of an artist: it’s always moving and usually freaking out.
“I’ll text, I promise,” I giggle. “Love you.”
After hanging up with Alice, I’m freaking out even more.
Am I crazy to do this? You know all the warnings you hear about meeting people online? How they could be rapists, murderers, etc.? Well, that’s not what I’m worried about; I’m worried about him finding out the truth. Why the fuck didn’t I just tell him the truth from the start?
I laugh. I’m a freak. He could have his way with me and bury me in a shallow grave and I’m concerned about him finding out the
truth
?
I’m contemplating sending a text to cancel, to the point where I actually pull out my phone and type a short apology that I can’t make it. Just as I’m about to push send, I press cancel instead.
Fuck it.
I’m going to do it. I’m going to meet Eli.
He’s only going to be a friend anyway…right?
The day arrives to meet Eli, and from the minute I open my eyes to the sun shining through the window, I want to bury my head under the pillows and stay in bed.
I’m so freaking anxious. Couple that with being tired as hell because I hardly got a wink of sleep last night and I’m a hot mess. The worst part is, when I’m super tired I have this thing where I blurt out the most inappropriate things. This whole event is going to be a big embarrassment on my part, I can
feel
it.
At the very least, Alice will get a laugh out of it.
Mom knocks on the door and I stifle a yawn and sit up in bed. She walks over and sits next to me, her fingers brushing my hair back from my face.
“Are you planning on getting up today?” she teases.
“If you’ll let me get away with saying no, then I’ll go with that.”
She laughs and rips the covers off me. I reluctantly sit up and lean my head on her shoulder. I’m so tired.
“How’s everything going, darling? School going okay?”
“Yeah same as every other school I’ve been to,” I say, a snide edge to my voice. Then I feel bad. It’s hardly Mom’s fault we have to move every two seconds. It’s nobody’s fault. “I’m making friends and I’m learning, so that’s the main thing,” I fib.
If you count Eli and the history teacher I’ve secretly christened as my grandfather as friends.
She doesn’t need to know about Jamie. The little prick will get what’s coming to him one day, and I certainly don’t need my parents pulling him into line.
Because
that
would help the situation about as much as swimming in a pool full of acid would.
“How about we have a mom-and-daughter day?” She bumps my shoulder and I smile. We used to have days together all the time. “Go downtown and have a look at some shops, get Chinese for lunch and then a mani or pedi?”
“That’s a great idea,” I smile. I feel bad that the main reason I’m going with the idea is to keep my mind off my date tonight. I don’t see my mom often these days and I
do
miss her.
Mom and I have a lovely afternoon together. I tell her about Mr. A and the history assignment I’m working on. I don’t mention Eli. We talk a lot about her job and Dad. She loves being a nurse. I have to admire people who work long hours dedicating their time to caring for others. To do all of that, look after me, and cope with Dad being away so often, she really is my hero.
I lean back in my chair as my feet are being massaged, and I sigh. I think I needed this: the time with Mom and the time to relax. School this year is much harder than I was expecting, and I need to do well to get into the college course I want to do, especially on a scholarship.
For as long as I can remember I’ve wanted to be a historian. But the course is competitive, and then even doing well doesn’t guarantee you a job when you’re done.
“Ohhhhhh this is soooooooo good,” Mom groans beside me as the masseuse works on her toes.
I stifle a small laugh. Seems my mother is long overdue for a massage. I wonder when Dad is due back?
Ewww.
I curse my mind for going there. I don’t even want to
think
about that!
Maybe I’m trying to sabotage myself from throwing myself at Eli tonight? Because that’s a real possibility.
We arrive home shortly before five. I run up the stairs to start getting ready, even though at this stage all I want to do is crawl into bed. I exfoliate my skin, curl my long, dark hair, put on a light layer of makeup, and finish with a spray of my favorite perfume.
I check my reflection in the mirror. I’m no model, but with the dress and the heels on, I look older and hot. Very hot. I almost don’t look like me, which is exactly what I was hoping for. He doesn’t want to meet plain, high school Jill. He’s expecting sexy, older, experienced Jill, and that is who I’m going to give him.
I want to keep my age a secret for as long as possible. I love talking to Eli, and if this goes nowhere I’d still like to keep him as a friend.
Because, you know, I have so many.
I walk into the kitchen to say goodbye to Mom.
“Can I borrow your car?” I ask sweetly, wrapping my arms around her neck. Her eyebrows shoot up as she takes in my appearance.
“Where are you going all dressed up like that?” she asks suspiciously.
“I’m meeting a few friends from school.”
Ha!
“We’re going out for dinner in town, then maybe a movie or something. I won’t be home too late.”
“Have fun, then. If you need me, call me.” The look she gives me tells me she doesn’t believe me, but she doesn’t fight it.
“And you’ll what, walk down to get me?” I snigger, trying to lighten the mood. I hate lying to my mom, but worrying about me is the last thing she needs.
“I’ll ride your dad’s bike if I need to.”
I snort. Calling her later would almost be worth it to see her trying to wrangle Dad’s Harley.
“Home by twelve, my dear.”
***
I take the twenty-minute drive to the restaurant, purposely going the long way through all the traffic to buy myself some time. My hands are sweating and I keep checking myself in the mirror. I’m nervous as fuck—so nervous that I feel like I’m going to be sick.
Parking right outside the venue, I walk in and notice Eli immediately.
Unlike me, he actually has many pictures on his profile. He’s got his side turned to me but I can already see how gorgeously sexy he is. If it’s even possible, his photos do not do him justice.
God, this guy is way out of my league.
I feel like a little girl playing dress-up.
His shirt isn’t tight, but it’s fitted enough to see the definition of muscle and the strong lines of his body.
I want to run my nails down his naked back whilst screaming his name.
I inwardly cringe at my thoughts.
Could I sound any more high school?
For the first time I notice that he’s sitting at the bar and talking to a petite blonde with massive fake tits. Makeup is plastered all over her face, and her dress barely covers—well, anything. In fact, less would be on display if she were wearing nothing.
Fucking awesome.
He’s smiling and engaging with her. Maybe she’s his type. How the fuck am I supposed to compete with Barbie here? I can feel the jealousy rise up in me and I need to get a lid on it. I have no right to be jealous. I have no claim on this guy, and all they’re doing is talking.
Besides, Barbie is probably more his age than
I
am.
Eli turns his head and notices me standing there staring at him. I groan, feeling like an idiot.
Way to start the date, Jill.
I just want to turn around and leave, and I almost do, considering he has no idea what I look like, apart from a vague description.
But the next thing I know, he’s right in front of me. My knees go weak as I get a whiff of his aftershave. Up close he’s even hotter. I have visions of him taking me right here on the floor, with Barbie watching.
Focus, Jill!
“Jill?” he asks with a hopeful look on his face. At least I
hope
it’s hopeful. Maybe he’s hoping I’m not me. Part of me wants to laugh and say ‘what? No!’ but I’ve come this far. Besides, I know I’d never hear the end of it from Alice if I did that.
“The one and only,” I say and hold my hand out for him to shake.
He bypasses the hand and pulls me in for a hug. I get lost in his strong spicy scent and the feel of his broad shoulders enveloping me. Strong…sexy…God, those lips…I want…I flush.
“Thanks for rescuing me from Legally Blonde over there. You have no idea how many times I’ve tried to escape the conversation. You’re much more my kind of girl.” He steps back, his gaze running over my body. “You’re stunning,” he murmurs.
I blush and look anywhere except at Eli. I make the mistake of looking at the bar, where Barbie is giving me the stink eye. The sides his of mouth turn up into a sexy grin and I’m sure I see steam coming out of her ears.
Just at that right moment, the waiter comes over and escorts us to our table.
Thank fucking god.
The first thing I notice is how much easier it is to talk through a computer screen than in person, but it’s not long before we both relax and the conversation lightens up.
We talk mainly about his move to Denver as I try to avoid any conversation about my work—or my web of lies, I should say.
“You said you moved around a lot growing up?” he asks, lifting his wine to his lips. Thank god I said I was twenty and not twenty-one. It would be just my luck that the waiter would ask for my ID.
I nod and take a sip of my water. “We rarely stayed in the one place long enough to get used to it.”
“Must have been hard, especially as an only child,” he comments.
“It was, but it was my life. You get used to it after a while. The hardest thing was not being able to form friendships. It can be lonely.”
“So you must love being settled then. Why Denver?” he asks.
I shrug. “Why not?” It was the only response I had.
I had no idea where I’d go from here—as in after this year. The thought of not having to pack up my life was scarier than moving, because that’s what I was used to. Letting people in is something I’ve never established the skills to do.
Will I stay in Denver? Apply for colleges elsewhere? I have no idea. I guess I’ll wait to see which colleges Alice gets into.
“Jill?”
I blush, realizing he’s caught me daydreaming. He probably thinks I was thinking about
him
.
“I asked what you feel like for dessert.” He laughs as my blush gives me away. “Trust me, I’d love that, but I’m not sure the staff here would agree. How about we share a chocolate mousse instead?” he suggests, his dark eyes sparkling.
As the night wears on, I become much more comfortable in his presence.
It’s like we’ve known each other forever. I could really see myself falling for this guy. He’s smart, kind, and he’s gorgeous to look at too, which always helps. I bite my mouth and stare at his soft, kissable lips. I can’t help but wonder . . . will he kiss me goodnight?
Checking my watch, I realize it’s close to 11:00 p.m. We are the only ones left in the restaurant.
“I guess I should probably get going. Work and all tomorrow.” I cover my mouth as I yawn. I didn’t realize how tired I was—and I should be, given the lack of sleep I’ve been getting.
“You work on a Sunday?” he asks, surprised.
“Shit, no. I forgot what day it was.” Could I look any more like a fool right now?
He chuckles. “I do that too. I’ve had a great time tonight. You’ve exceeded my expectations.”
I laugh and smooth my hair over my shoulder. “I’m glad to hear it.”
Eli walks me to my car. As I turn around to say good night, he pushes me against the car and presses his mouth against mine in a quick but urgent kiss. My eyes widen and I blush. I hadn’t been expecting that. Before I have time to over-think things, I wrap my arms around his neck and open my mouth to initiate a real kiss.
Our tongues clash and I let out a moan as his mouth explores mine. Pressing my palms against his abs, I gasp as his long fingers run through my hair.
This is total bliss.
Who knew a kiss could feel so amazing? I sure as hell didn’t.
I’ve been with a few guys, but nothing has come close to how primal he is making me feel. I want him. I
need
him.
I smirk as his length becomes obvious through his pants. I love that I excite him. My underwear is absolutely soaked, but I know I need to put a stop this now. As much as I’d love to take him back home and let him do me six ways to Sunday, I’m sure my mother wouldn’t appreciate the situation.
I push on Eli’s chest slightly and look up at him. He seems to be in a daze.
“I better get going,” I whisper, stealing another kiss. I’m trying to ignore the voice in the back of my head reminding me how much older than me he is.
“Christ, what are you doing to me? You’re un-fucking-believable. The things I want to do to you, I feel dirty just thinking about them.” He pauses and smiles, a glint in his eye. “But I promise you’ll be screaming my name a few times. Or ten. Your neighbors will think I’m named ‘God’ by the end of the night.”
Thoughts of Jamie enter my head and I push them aside.
You can guaran-fucking-tee that I don’t like my neighbor. The thought of him lying in bed listening to my hot sex makes me smile. Of course, knowing him, he’d probably be recording it, ready to distribute it around school.
“I had fun,” I say, biting my lip. “Maybe you can text me some of those things you want to do to me,” I tease.
He pushes up against me for one final kiss and then lets me climb inside my car.
“Think about me when you’re touching yourself tonight,” he smirks.
I raise an eyebrow. “You’re very, uh, sure of yourself,” I smirk.