Hope (27 page)

"What shall we talk about, Hope? The weather? The war? My desire to feel your hair between my fingers?"

His last question took her off guard and she looked at him in surprise. "Um..."

He smiled and placed a gentle hand upon her shoulder. "I wouldn’t force you to do anything, Hope. I’m just probing your intentions. I wouldn’t want you to take advantage of me."

She laughed and shook off his hand. "You think I couldn’t force you to do anything?" Pursing her lips, she felt some annoyance. "So, you think just because I’m short I can’t hold my own?"

"Well..." He held his hand to the top of his head, and then lowered it down to Kathryn’s. Her head came just above his shoulder even while sitting. "Yeah, I’d say barring any type of spell, you couldn’t really force me to do anything."

One night of freedom in the middle of a war. Screw it. If that wasn’t life on the edge, she didn’t know what was. Everyone agreed the rules didn’t apply tonight, so she would follow suit. She needed something—anything—to fill that empty space.

"Fine, let’s test the theory." Kathryn brought her legs up to her chest and pivoted until she faced the opposite direction. She extended her legs to her left and scooted toward Matthis to her right, with her hands coming to rest upon his shoulders.

With her wings facing the view of the trees and her chest an inch away from his, she looked up at him and pulled herself up using his shoulders until their eyes were even with each other. He brought both of his arms up around her to keep her from falling backwards. She was close enough to see the flecks of gold in his light brown eyes.

Licking her lips, she moved her mouth close to his and stopped just short of meeting them. She felt the heat of his body through her blouse and saw the look of desire in his eyes.

"Am I twisting your arm?" She whispered and felt her lips brush his as they formed the words.

He leaned his head forward and met her lips with the gentlest kiss she’d ever felt. Her other boyfriends had always kissed her with a forceful passion that left her feeling dominated. She gave in and returned the kiss with the same tenderness, reveling in the unexpected passion she felt stirring inside her.

She’d never kissed a complete stranger before and it felt exhilarating. Then again, he may not be a stranger at all. Normally so careful, she dismissed her fear of repercussions and lived in the moment. So many months of working beside men she couldn’t have, all protected by the barrier of their armor. Her days were void of physical human contact beyond self-defense and she hadn’t realized how much she longed for intimate contact.

The kiss continued and she felt his tongue gently caress hers, sending chills of pleasure throughout her body. She wrapped her arms around his neck and leaned her chest against his. With a low growl deep in his throat, he pulled her onto his lap and she felt his arousal. Unless she wanted to go all of the way right there on the balcony, she had to stop this or she’d lose control of herself.

Kathryn pulled away just enough to break the kiss. They were both breathing heavy and she glanced to her right to see if others had noticed their passion. The other couples were focused on themselves and paid them no heed.

"I believe your theory has been proven." He purred in her ear. She turned to face him and was surprised when he lifted her off him and set her beside him in their former position. "If you stayed on my lap, I couldn’t guarantee that we’d be ignored."

Kathryn smiled and looked away in embarrassment. They’d been thinking the same thoughts. His admission emboldened her to move beyond excuses and tell the truth. Facing him, she met his eye and said, "I had to stop or I couldn’t guarantee the same thing."

His eyes widened in surprise and a smile touched his lips. "You’re an intriguing woman, Hope."

"Thank you, Matthis."

"Let’s talk about something ordinary so we’re calm enough for the toast in an hour. Everyone has to stay for that and then we can decide how to spend our evening."

She nodded, wracking her brain for something ordinary that wouldn’t give away her identity. Her favorite food was chocolate and they didn’t have any here. They sat in silence for some time.

"All right, maybe talking right now isn’t the best thing." He said with a smile. "I can’t think of anything beyond questions that could give away your identity and I’m not sure you feel comfortable doing that. So, how about we dance?"

"I’d love to." Her classmates had always picked on Kathryn throughout high school and college about her passion for ballroom dancing. Everyone else preferred sports or drama, but dancing was the only thing beyond her academics that she did well. Smiling, they rose together and headed back into the ballroom, melting into the hundreds of couples flowing around the dance floor.

The opportunity to tune everything out and focus solely on her dance partner proved the perfect remedy for her stress. She didn’t know the dance steps, but Matthis’ gentle guidance allowed her to catch on after a few bars and she realized the Av’lorian dances resembled classic ballroom with a hint of swing.

She hadn’t smiled this much in years. Occasionally, she gripped Matthis’ shoulders to overcome her dizziness after the spins and he smiled in turn and gripped her tighter. During the few slow songs, he held her the proper distance away while still indicating his desire for her with his eyes and a smoldering smile. Political suicide be damned.

Hours after the toast, Kathryn and Matthis found themselves back out on the balcony watching the shadows of the buildings grow while the sun made its descent behind them.

"You’re a beautiful dancer." He said in a soft voice. "Most women I’ve danced with tire quickly, but you have the stamina to dance for hours and never lose your grace."

"You dance pretty well yourself. I love dancing. Sorry if I forced you to dance longer than you anticipated. The toast is long over." She looked down, feeling guilty that she had wanted to dance so much. Greg was the only one of her boyfriends who had ever danced with her for more than an hour and she remembered the days that followed with his bickering over his sore feet. She felt Matthis’ hand upon her shoulder and looked up at him.

"I enjoy dancing. You didn’t force me to do anything. I chose to dance with you for that long and not just to get lucky." He grinned and looked her over with exaggerated movements of his eyes. "Dancing with someone tells me a lot about them."

"Really? Like what?"

"Well, you’ll follow my lead when it suits you, but you stand up for yourself if I push you in a direction you don’t want to go. If you don’t know the dance, you cautiously follow my lead and after a few rounds, you relax. You’re a fast learner."

"I never really thought about it like that. You’re an interesting man, Matthis." Kathryn meant it. He was unlike any man she had ever known. He didn’t use a condescending tone or lather her with insincere praise.

He removed his hand from her shoulder and gazed out at the trees. She saw his jaw clench. "I’ve not yet heard ‘interesting’ when describing me."

Fearing she had insulted him, she placed her hand upon his forearm until he looked at her. "I didn’t mean it as an insult. By interesting, I mean you aren’t like other men I’ve known." She struggled to find the right words. "The other men I’ve known were all lacking one big thing. Respect."

"Respect? I’m not sure I follow." His jaw remained clenched.

Kathryn feared she lost him. Maybe she had misjudged him and it was all an act? This entire night could have been one big act to get another notch in his belt. Might as well plow on and find out.

"We didn’t have to stay for the toast. You didn’t have to dance for that long just because I enjoyed myself. You showed me enough respect to allow me to choose what I wanted to do. Respect enough to allow me the extra hours of dancing. I didn’t have to put your needs above my own tonight, which I can tell you, is very rare for me."

With his jaw relaxed, he brought his hands up to her face and used his thumbs to wipe away the tears she hadn’t realized she had shed. Kathryn, embarrassed by her show of weakness, tried to turn away, but his hands held her face toward his.

"You should never have to put others needs above your own when it comes to relationships. A relationship is a partnership, not a dictatorship. Never forget that." He let go of her face, but she didn’t try to turn away from his gaze. They had just this one night. Elena said he wasn’t someone Kathryn could handle beyond tonight.

Kathryn’s hand was still upon his forearm and she gave it a gentle squeeze, leaving it there to see how he’d react to the contact. He placed his other hand upon hers and they sat in silence for several minutes looking out over the darkening skyline.

Matthis broke the silence first. "I’m going to retire to a room at the Inn. Would you like to join me?"

Kathryn stared at the first star to appear in the evening sky. At midnight, the spells would fade and their identities would reveal themselves by dawn. They must have read Cinderella too many times. "Yes."

He reached over and lifted her onto his lap with his arms beneath her shoulders, wings and legs. "Hold on."

"What?"

He grinned and inched closer to the edge of the balcony.

"No, wait, I thought flying with another in your arms was too risky." She gripped his forearms.

"Relax. Unarmored and as light as you are, I won’t have a problem. Trust me." He waited for her response.

Kathryn looked down then back at Matthis. She put her arms around his neck and gave him a nod. "I trust you."

Her stomach dropped as they fell from the ledge, then her fear receded as she let him carry her over the trees and circle the pond. His flight was effortless and she dismissed her earlier fear. They flew toward the small town cradled between the castle and the outer wall.

Landing upon the rooftop of the only Inn catering to visiting knights, Matthis set her down and they walked together toward the entrance. He nodded to a man behind the desk just beyond the door and the man tossed him a room key.

Once inside the room, Kathryn put her hand upon her hip and gave him a knowing smile. "Planned to get lucky with someone tonight, huh?"

He grinned. "I will not deny that I look forward to this day every couple of cycles. I need a room most times."

"Ah, I can see you’re not a very confident man." Kathryn smiled and shook her head. Glancing around the room, she took in the large bed and sparse furnishings. "There’s really only one purpose for this room, isn’t there?" When she turned back, she found Matthis with his hand still upon the doorknob.

"We can just sit and talk if you’d like. I’ll not force you to do anything you don’t want to do." No smile touched his lips.

Kathryn saw something in his eyes that made her pause. It wasn’t the expected lust or humor, but a look filled with sadness and anger. It seemed so familiar. She turned away and looked back at the room, trying to gather her thoughts. He must have been playing a part after all. He acted not for her benefit, but his own. The war was not something that could be set-aside for even a day.

A day is what they had and she wasn’t going to throw it away.

She turned back and Matthis still had his hand upon the door, but a forced smile was upon his face. Kathryn walked over to him and he looked away as his hand twisted the doorknob. Placing her hand upon the door, she held it closed and took his hand away from the doorknob with her other hand.

"The war doesn’t intrude upon our lives today. I’d like to make the most of it." She moved his hand to her side and put both of her arms around his neck, pulling him down to a gentle kiss. Matthis didn’t resist.

He wrapped his arms around her, caressing her lower back and running his hands up to where her wings joined her back. Her skin was very sensitive around her wings and she found herself giggling at his soft touch. His caress turned into a firm rub and Kathryn’s giggling turned to soft moaning.

Matthis had the touch of a professional masseuse. After almost a year of flying, she had never had anyone massage her new back muscles. The massage alone would have made the memories of the war fall away. His lips again met hers and she had trouble concentrating on the kiss as he lowered her onto the bed while still massaging her back.