Homo Avatarius: ( Your Consciousness is an Alien ) (9 page)

1

Do you know how long you have existed? I think the answer is always the same: you exist from the first moment you remember. Before that moment, it is only what is transferred to you. For me, the first moment I remember occurred long after my birth:

My close neighbor had just let me that he was now ready. Having completed his preparations, he was in the final stages of a careful creation. He provided us with the information and said he had the necessary material and energy stocks. Then he opened the protection wall, divided it and pulled down the border between the two equal particles. This was the most difficult and dangerous stage. As the protection wall partly lost its effect, we could be harmed by pale blues, an uncontrolled release of energy, or even grays. Although others tried to protect him, using themselves as shields around him and standing guard, it was still a dangerous stage.

Somehow, a storm cloud composed of pale blues appeared above us. Although we were very carefully perceiving the messages, we could do nothing. Little pale blue monsters rained on us. They were hitting my shield, sometimes bouncing off, sometimes getting stuck. As we rapidly modified the walls so as not to have holes, throwing the stuck ones away was the only answer we could give, at first, to the sudden attack. Unfortunately, one of us, close to the end of the production stage, pulled down his shield.

Having sensed the weakness, the pale blues moved quickly to exploit the gap in the wall. Only one of them could make it inside at a time, while the others bounced off of the wall. Overcoming the shock of the sudden attack, we rapidly activated the guided weapons system and defended ourselves against the onslaught. Complete chaos and confusion spread everywhere, and we counted many losses from those who were exposed to the cloud in the first attack. Still we performed a successful offensive and defensive strategy. The enemies from the cloud were brought under control and either turned gray or remained pale blue.

We began the ordinary process of collecting the spoils, counting the bodies, and repairing the walls. The walls were strengthened using new materials, and the necessary reinforcements and repairs were made.

Now that things were calm, I had the opportunity to assist my neighbor. The first piece that was parted was undamaged and in its natural function. The other piece didn’t have any problem, even though a pale blue came inside.

“
The pale blue is still inside, keeping its color, but it has been inactivated,” my neighbor told me.

“
You got off easy,” I said teasing him.

When the busy day and stories of the Great War were over, everyone except for the guards in our community fell asleep.

I began to scan around with a feeling of unease, drifting between a sleeping and waking state. Everything seemed fine, but somehow, the feeling of unease was increasing.

Then, I realized the change in my neighbor. He was dying and becoming gray, but as I looked closer, I saw that it was a balanced change from pale blue to white. He was turning into something new.

It was an unexpected situation, and I did what was necessary. I sent powerful emergency messages and began to run away. My poor neighbor was now unrecognizable. He was severely swollen, and his shields were about to explode because of the inner pressure. Getting away as fast as I could, I was completely panicked. I tried to increase the thickness of my shield while also pushing whatever I had close to the surface. Suddenly, it happened: my unlucky neighbor exploded. Yes, literally exploded. Hundreds and thousands of little pale blues scattered around. Unlike the attack in the day, they could now pass through all our shields whether we were asleep or awake.

When the pale blue went inside, it transmitted the information to the others about how to pass our defensive walls. But being aware of this didn’t have any significance now. Escape was the only way to survive.

It was a complete massacre. The pale blue bastards stopped the motion of whoever they moved into. Those who tried to run away bumped into the walls of their friends and became the next victims. The huge colony was captured in a very short time, and the war was over without any struggle. Dishonorably, I ran away from the battlefield, hoping to reach an old colony that would outnumber the countless little pale blue bastards. Staying was stupid, as all my friends were exploding and spreading death as soon as they were captured.

I couldn’t even tell where the goddamn bastards came from, but I saw that one had gotten stuck in my extra-strengthened wall and was slowly wiggling inside. I didn’t know how to fight it, and it was terrible to know that it was the end. Suddenly turning gray and disappearing is one thing, but knowing that I would slowly explode…What is it like to explode? I wondered. Is there any awareness?

No! No! I wouldn’t give up! I wasn’t ready. I didn’t have enough energy or materials, but I didn’t have any other way. I rapidly began the partition process. As the most precious unit was the control and information unit, I carefully divided it first. I placed the materials opposite them and started the process of copying. I began to carefully copy the energy conversion unit, the communication module, and the waste and drainage systems. Meanwhile, the pale blue bastard had already passed through the upper layers of the defensive shield. It was almost inside. I felt panic, anger, and despair all at once.

Everything was over. The little bastard was inside now. I desperately tried to stop him, throwing at it whatever I could use. But that horrible, pale blue was moving steadily towards the information and control unit. Closer…closer!

I continued the process in a state of panic, out of control. It was almost over.

The little monster was stuck on an incomplete part of the information and control unit. I could tell that it was rapidly configuring the interconnections in order to have control. My movements got slower, my consciousness weakened.

Still, I finished the partition, destroying the part where the monster got stuck and tried to heal the damage on the other side. As the little bastard decided what to do next, I parted the defensive wall as fast as I could. I suddenly pulled myself inside my chamber and recreated my shield. As the bastard was locked in my other half, I escaped in a hurry. I went away, leaving the pieces of me behind.

2

The universe is gargantuan—beyond comprehension—and it hosts a tremendous number of things. We are only little dots in this spectacular formation, and when we lose our awareness, we fade away as if we had never existed.

My loneliness and the times I was on my own gave me the opportunity to know myself and get to know those around me. I wandered around from one land to another, on my own, a traveler. I understood what was real, and the only important thing was the energy that formed the blue light.

Small individuals like me transfer their blue light to the next generation to keep it after partitioning. They live together to protect their species, and they keep their blue color. In the course of life, you can lose your blue, but you can’t increase its intensity. However, if the small blues unite and form a common structure, the strength of their blue doubles. There is no limit to the strength. After uniting, some of them have the energy to create a city or a planet. Such formations are always in need of outside energy.

When the amount of united blue light surpasses the limit, something enormous happens. They become stars, and the stars spread their blue all over the galaxy.

I led the lonely life of a traveler for a long time, but I gained a lot of power and made changes to the information unit during the struggle with the pale blue monster inside me. I survived an attack which would have turned me gray. I felt stronger. Using these talents, I found myself a new colony. Those who accepted me called me “the guest.” I wasn’t one of them, but they respected me. I shared my talents and knowledge, and they believed in me.

First, we were small wanderers trying to capture the energy of those around us. However, thanks to our ambition, determination, and irrepressible desire, we spread out, away from our inefficient and energy-poor territory. We captured the blue of whoever got in our way and turned it to gray. We learned to manage the planets and used them as tools to get to the stars. Even stars couldn’t stand against our determination and cruelty when we captured them and sucked their energy.

The dreams of a small blue on its own were fulfilled. Our empire invaded the entire universe and all the blue energy was our colony.

Limbo

I suppose I regained my consciousness first. My first perceptions were a feeling of lightness, a sweet sense of happiness, a sense of serenity and.…

“
Hey! What’s going on?” I started yelling in my mind.

“
Sir, calm down. You overreacted. I had to stop the program immediately. You worried me.”

“
Why? Did I give an unexpected response? What was…that? Goddamn it, you turned me into a strange life form, and I didn’t even know what I was. Was I a creature travelling in space? Another universe, another place? Answer me!”

“
No, sir. It was just your life experience on Earth.”

“
Come on. As if I didn’t know the Earth. Are you kidding me?”

“
Yersinia Pestis
.”

“
What are you talking about? What the hell is
Yersinia Pestis
? Wait, you mean the bacteria? Is it dysentery? No…that’s
Vibrio Cholerae
.”

“
Yersinia Pestis
is the bacteria that caused the plague.”

“
Yes, yes, that’s right. It was on the tip of my tongue. But why—”

“
Sir, the organisms you just saw have been ruling the world for billions of years. They are the oldest and most perfect beings in the universe. They believe “blue” means to be alive. “Gray” is their way of perceiving the dead.”

“
The pale blue little monster?”

“
Viruses exist between the living and the dead. They attack the cells and bacteria and go inside them. They interfere with their genetic code and adhere to the main cell. As you experienced, the cells explode and attack their surroundings in numbers of hundreds and thousands.”

“
Okay, I get it. I mean, I remember it. They even cause genetic mutation. Most mutations kill the living, but very few of them are transferred into new generations as a new characteristic or even a superior one,” I added, not to be outdone by a snobbish program.

“
Yes, sir. As
Yersinia Pestis
lived peacefully in northern Mongolia, it mutated in a strange way and adapted to live inside fleas without killing them. Later, these fleas infested rodents, especially mice, and reached mammals. They stuck in the throats of fleas and caused them to get extremely thirsty. As a result, fleas were driven to attack everything and suck blood from their hosts non-stop. Finally, the disease infected people and caused the greatest outbreak of all time. Half of the human population was destroyed. Those people were erased from the genetic pool, making space for others.”

“
So the Plague evolved in Central Asia and spread over Europe?”

“
Conventional history says it was because of the fleas inside the pelts sold by the hunters of the north, but you have already experienced the entire period. Actually, the plague came to Crimea in the wolf pelt that Cuci carried with him. From there, it went to Europe by a Genoese commerce fleet and spread death.”

“
Why did you make me have the same experience?”

“
Sir, don’t forget: the setup is not mine. It is yours. You wrote the program. I am only the interface. What you witnessed was the subconscious of the disease. I mean, it was the subconscious of a huge organism at the cellular level. It was a ‘micro-consciousness.’”

“
So, will this process continue? I don’t want it to. I am the programmer, so I’m changing the program. I don’t want to experience the program anymore. I will be satisfied by just being told.”

“
Unfortunately, sir, your directives cannot be followed until you attain all your abilities and become yourself again. Are you ready to continue?”

“
Now? What will happen now? At least tell me about it. I don’t want any surprises.”

“
You are going to experience life as the over-conscious of the plague. Your journey will start at a harbor in Crimea and continue to Medieval Europe.”

“
The Black Death?”

“
Yes, sir. The Black Death.”

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Once you get used to the taste of humans, nothing else will satisfy you. No living being in the world feeds you as intensely as their fear and pain. Ensure that they are in contact and you will be surprised by how quickly they mix their fears with their hopelessness. Humans continuously transmit their desired feelings and emotional pressure to each other, starting from their central cluster which they call “family.”