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27

N
oah’s palms were sweating when he showed up at the Norths’. He’d spent a lot of time at their house when he was a kid, but he hadn’t been back that often since college. After San Diego State, he and Baxter had rented an apartment above the mercantile in town until Noah had launched his cycling career and earned enough to open the store and buy a house. He’d moved out of the apartment after a couple of years, but Baxter had chosen to stay there until he could afford his own place.

Although the Norths’ middle-class rambler was both familiar and comfortable to Noah—his own parents still lived next door—Noah was feeling anything but comfortable right now. What he was about to do went against everything he’d always believed about letting people work out their own problems.

But he’d thought it through carefully, and he was committed. Maybe Baxter wouldn’t thank him, but the truth needed to be told—and if he had to be the one to take the fall, so be it.

The porch light went on before the door opened. “Noah!” Baxter’s mother smiled. “What a pleasant surprise.”

Noah glanced at his watch. It was 9:45 p.m., a bit late to be visiting, but he’d needed some time to work up the nerve.

“Sorry to bother you. Is Mr. North around?”

“He is. We got back from the hospital an hour ago. He’s watching the Niners. He recorded the game on the DVR while we were out.”

Noah already knew the Niners had won, but he didn’t say anything about that. “I’d like to talk to both of you, if you don’t mind.”

“Of course not. Come in.” She held the door and he stepped past a couple of jack-o’-lanterns that were starting to soften and cave in.

“Sam, it’s Noah,” she called.

“Noah?”

As Noah entered the room, the TV went silent and Baxter’s dad leaned forward, bringing his recliner to a sitting position.

“Don’t get up,” Noah said.

“What brings you over?” Mr. North asked. “Were you next door visiting your parents?”

“No, I made a special trip.”

At Noah’s somber tone, his eyes narrowed slightly. “What for?”

“I’d like to talk to you.”

Mrs. North smoothed her blouse. “Of course. Have a seat. Can I...can I get you a drink or—”

“No, thanks. I’m fine.”

“What’s this about?” Mr. North asked.

“It’s about Baxter.”

“I figured as much. But...he’s going to be okay, Noah. He’s through the worst of it. And we’re getting him the help he needs. I’ve been calling around, looking for a reputable psychologist. He’s agreed to get some counseling.”

“That’s a good idea. But...I think it’s going to take more than that.”

After a moment of silence, his father said, “What do you mean?”

“I think it’s going to take the truth.”

Mr. North frowned at his wife before returning his attention to Noah. “And what is the truth?”

“Your son is gay, Mr. North.”

His jaw hardened. “Excuse me?”

“I believe he’s struggling with self-esteem issues, and I highly doubt he can overcome them until he feels he’s accepted by you, just as he is.”

“Baxter’s no filthy homosexual! What gives you the right to come here and tell me this, anyway?”

Noah’s stomach churned. “He’s my best friend. That’s what gives me the right. Although, after this, he probably won’t be my friend anymore. Regardless of that, I’m hoping the truth will...will
finally
let him feel comfortable in his own skin.”

Mr. North got to his feet. “Are you his
lover?
Is that what you’re saying? You know he’s gay because you’ve been having sex with my son?”

The mental image that evoked made Noah squirm. “No!”

“Then he admitted it?”

No way was Noah going to tell anyone besides Addy about The Kiss. “It wasn’t easy for him, but, yes.”

“You’re lying!” Those two words seemed to thunder through the whole house. “There would’ve been some sign. He...he wouldn’t make that choice. He knows I hate homos.
Even God hates homos!
”

“I think it’s that sentiment that’s at the root of the problem,” Noah said.

“I don’t believe it!” His hands flexed and unflexed. “Martha, he’s saying he knows our son better than we do. He’s talking nonsense. He—” Mr. North fell silent when he saw his wife. She was sitting on the couch with her hand over her mouth, tears streaming down her cheeks.

“You agree with me, don’t you?” he pressed. “I’m right, aren’t I?”

“Sit down, Sam,” she said.

“No, I won’t sit down. I want this bastard out of my house. Get out, Noah! We don’t need you to come around here, telling us what’s best for our son. And shame on you for spreading such nasty rumors. Baxter’s not even talking to you. There’s got to be a reason. You two had a falling out, and this is how you’re getting back at him.”

Noah had felt like slugging Baxter’s father when he’d said God hated homos. But he wanted to hit him even more now. He felt it might knock some sense into his thick, bigoted skull. But he knew he couldn’t let his temper get involved. “I care about your son. I want to help him.”

“He knows what he’s talking about.” Martha had spoken so quietly it took a second for what she said to sink in. When it did, Sam turned on her as if he’d tear her to pieces, and Noah got up, just in case.

“I...I found something once.” Martha gazed up at her husband with tears in her eyes. “Some...magazines. I...put them back under the bed where he’d hidden them, and I never said a word to him or to you, but...they weren’t the typical girlie magazines a mother might expect to find under her son’s bed.”

Sam looked as if he was trying to incinerate her with his eyes. “You don’t know they were his! Maybe he was hiding them for someone else, a...a friend. Maybe even Noah!”

“No.” She dropped her head in her hands. “His sister and I have talked about this before. She...she’s wondered. I told her not to bring it up. But it...explains so much.”

“Then you can both get the hell out!” Mr. North shouted.

Mrs. North’s eyes widened in obvious hurt, and that seemed to bring him in check. At least a little.

“Ah, shit!” he said, and stalked out of the room.

Noah stared down at Mrs. North’s bent head. “I’m sorry I had to be the one to tell you,” he said. “It...it was his place, not mine. But...”

She wiped her cheeks. “I know why you did it.”

“I’m sorry,” he said again.

“I know that, too. But...it’s better if you go. I—I’ll handle Sam.”

“You’ll be okay?”

“Of course. He’s just upset. This is his son, his only son. I think every man wants a boy who takes after him, and...Baxter definitely doesn’t.”

“Different doesn’t make him any less worthy.”

She forced a smile. “It’s a shock, that’s all.”

He nodded. It’d been a shock to him, too. “Good night.”

As Noah closed the door quietly behind him, he felt sick inside, terrified that he’d made Baxter’s life worse. What would the Norths do? How would they respond?

He was so busy cursing himself for trying to help in what was probably the wrong way that he wandered over to his parents’ house instead of going to his car. He wasn’t planning to tell anyone else about Baxter, even his folks, but he thought it might comfort him to visit his mom and dad, to feel a hint of the security they’d provided when he was a kid. This had to be one of the worst weekends of his life. He’d hoped Addy would call today, but he had to battle that disappointment along with all the rest.

He was just edging past his mother’s Lexus when he noticed that his father’s Range Rover had been damaged. When did that happen? He and his father had taken the Range Rover to go golfing just...what? Three weeks ago?

“Hello?” he said as he strode into the kitchen through the garage.

“In here!” his mother called.

He found his parents in the office/library situated off the living room, where they each had a desk. They were wearing reading glasses so when they glanced up, they both peered at him over their lenses.

“How’d we get lucky enough to receive another visit from you so soon?” his mother teased. “I thought you might be too wrapped up in the new woman in your life to bother with us.”

Noah didn’t respond to that comment. He
was
wrapped up in Adelaide. Too wrapped up to feel at ease about it. “What happened to the Rover, Dad?”

His father rested his elbows on the arms of his chair. “What do you mean?”

“It’s been in a crash.”

“Oh, that.” He waved a hand. “Just a little fender bender.”

“You never mentioned it.”

“Dylan over at Amos Auto Body will fix it up once I have a minute to get it in.”

His mother spoke at the same time, her voice full of exasperation. “He hit a tree. Can you believe it?”

Noah lounged on a love seat by a coffee table laden with magazines. “When?”

“Last week.” His father closed his laptop. “How’s Baxter?”

“Doing better.” Noah didn’t want to go into any more detail than that, didn’t want to tell them he’d been next door.

“Glad to hear it. And—” his mother cleared her throat “—Adelaide?”

His father spoke before he could reply. “I’m not sure she’s the right kind of girl for you, Noah.”

“The right kind of girl?”
he echoed.

“What do you see in her, anyway?”

Noah couldn’t help being offended. “Besides the fact that she’s beautiful? And smart? And sweet?”

“You told me you weren’t going to say anything,” his mother murmured, chiding his father. “You said it would blow itself out.”

His dad’s expression turned contrite. “I know. I should have taken my own advice.”

“But now it’s too late for that...so, what don’t you like about her?” Noah asked.

His mother’s eyes darted between them. She could’ve answered this question; she obviously agreed with his father. But she waited for Brent to take the lead.

“In high school, she used to come on to Cody all the time,” he said. “She was
so
forward, wouldn’t leave him alone.”

Noah felt his jaw drop open. “You can’t be serious.”

“I’m completely serious. Shania will tell you. Ask her.”

“If Shania felt threatened by Addy, I would’ve heard about it long before now,” Noah said.

His mother frowned. “Not necessarily. She’s a good Christian, doesn’t like to gossip.”

But if anyone was forward, it was her. How many times had she approached
him
since Cody’s death? “There would’ve been a major fight, at the very least,” he insisted. “Anyway, I was with Cody far more than she was. I think I’d know if Addy was coming on to him.”

“I’m telling you how it was,” his father said.

“Do you have any idea how shy Addy was in high school?”

His mother removed her glasses. “Apparently, she wasn’t as shy as you thought.”

“Yes, she was.” She’d also had a huge crush on
him.
She’d admitted as much. To the best of his memory, she’d never even mentioned Cody. “She’s slept with three men in her whole life. She married the second one.
I’m
number three.”

His father shook his head as he chuckled. “She’s slept with a lot more than that, son. From what I’ve heard, she even slept with your brother.”

Noah felt as if he’d been punched in the face.
“When?”

“At the graduation party.”

“That’s a lie!”

“Ask Shania,” his father said with a shrug.

“She wasn’t even there. She went to Europe right after she got her diploma.”

“You weren’t at the party, either,” he pointed out, but Noah scarcely heard him. He was heading outside, to his car.

* * *

Kevin waited in the empty lot behind the liquor store for Shania to join him. She’d texted him earlier, when he was leaving church with his family, saying she needed to speak to him. He’d sent her this location and “six o’clock” so she wouldn’t show up at his house, then left “to run an errand” while his wife was making dinner.

It was the first time Shania had contacted him in years. She had to be upset about something.

Kevin had a feeling he knew what it was.

When she pulled in, she didn’t waste time on hello. She got out of some boxy little Nissan, slammed the door and led with, “Can you believe that bitch Adelaide is going out with
Noah?
”

“I’ve heard.” And he’d been wondering how to defuse Shania’s reaction. He’d been strategic in sharing information with her fifteen years ago, but there were pitfalls to any game plan. Right now, his future hung in a very delicate balance. No one was talking. He needed to keep it that way, couldn’t let anyone tip the scales for fear they’d fall in the wrong direction.

“It’s not fair,” she railed. “If he only knew!”

Kevin moved toward her so she’d lower her voice. “Whatever you do, you can’t tell him.”

“Why not? She deserves for
everyone
to hear what she’s really like, especially Noah!”

“Think about how she might react. What she might do.”

She kicked a pebble and sent it skittering across the broken pavement. “What
could
she do?”

“She could claim we raped her! She put that in a letter to Cody’s parents the summer Cody died, remember?”

She studied him for a second. “You told me that letter was anonymous.”

“Who else would have written it?” Kevin responded. It had to have come from Tom, but he didn’t want her to know that. “Who else would lie about grad night?”

“It won’t matter. It’s her word against yours. And Tom’s. And Derek’s. And Stephen’s. You’re all well-known and well-liked. She hasn’t even been in town for...years.”

“We can’t rely on being well-liked. For all we know, she’s kept DNA evidence. Her panties or something. They can test for semen years after a crime. I’ve seen it on TV.”

“So your semen’s on her underpants. What does that mean? Consensual sex isn’t rape. Everyone was drunk at that party. How will she prove she wasn’t a willing participant?”

This was the tricky part. But Shania
wanted
to believe him, so he had that going for him. “You and I know she had a thing for baseball players. She came to every single game and hung around the team as much as possible. She wanted to do us
all
that night, even though most people would say she was too shy to be so sexually aggressive.”