“Thank you.”
Their eyes met, and the air filled with electricity. In that moment something changed between them, something wonderful. She forgot anyone else was in the room until Astrid cleared her throat.
“Erik, since neither of you got much sleep last night, why don’t you take your wife upstairs and try to get some rest?”
“But I haven’t washed the separator,” Anne protested.
“We’ll take care of it,” Astrid said with a smile. “After everything you’ve been through, you deserve a little break.”
Anne rose to her feet and stepped around the table to give Astrid a hug. “Thank you. I’ll see you in the morning.”
With that she climbed the steep stairs to their room, Erik following closely behind. Once they were inside their room he shut the door and reached for her hand.
“I couldn’t sleep without you,” he said. He stared at her hand, turning it over and tracing the lines in her palm with his finger. “It felt all wrong. We’ve only been married a few weeks, but you’ve become the most important person in the world to me.”
He looked up at her then, and Anne saw the conviction in his eyes. Perhaps this was the closest thing to a confession of love she would get from him. Happiness swelled in her heart.
“You’re the most important person in the world to me, too.”
“Would you make love with me, Anne?”
“Yes.”
In minutes they shed their clothes, feverishly helping each other to remove the barriers between them. Erik’s kisses against her eyes, her cheeks, her neck, caused bursts of fire to erupt across her skin. His touch felt more tender, more loving than ever before. Yes, something had definitely changed tonight.
Erik pulled back the covers and slipped inside, wordlessly reaching out his hand for her. She grasped it and slid into the bed next to him, her legs entangling with his, and her hands stroking his broad chest. As he kissed her, her excitement built.
He turned her onto her back and covered her with his big body, his eyes intent on hers. “Do you trust me, Anne?”
“Yes, of course.”
“I want to make you happy.”
She stroked his face, loving him so much her heart wanted to burst. “You make me very happy.”
He kissed her, their tongues mating in a long, drugging kiss. When he abruptly broke away, she whimpered her distress. But then he began to kiss his way down her body, stopping to suckle each breast until she was writhing on the bed, on the edge of release. He left her breasts, trailing hot, wet kisses down her belly until he reached the apex of her thighs. He touched his tongue to her most sensitive spot. The breath caught in Anne’s throat.
“Erik!”
His tongue swirled around the delicate folds, sucking and licking until her climax exploded inside her, ripping her into a million pieces. She threw her arm across her mouth to keep from screaming her joy. Nothing had ever felt like this before.
The last spasms had barely subsided when Erik covered her with his body once more and pushed inside her. She wrapped her legs around his waist, urging him on. He pulled her hands over her head and stared into her eyes as he pressed into her, harder and faster with each thrust. With one final drive, his release came. He collapsed on top of her and she held him, not wanting this perfect moment to end.
Too soon he rolled off her, but then he pulled her closer, and she sighed in contentment as she laid her cheek against his chest and felt it rise and fall with his breath. How she loved him. She wanted to shout it from the top of the grain elevator in Emerald. And she wanted to whisper it to him here, now, in their room.
“Erik?” she whispered.
His only reply was a deep inhale of breath as he slept. She’d waited too long.
Tomorrow, for sure, she’d tell him. Perhaps that would be best. She’d been holding another secret in her heart, hoping it would come true. Her period was almost two weeks late, and she prayed that meant she was pregnant. She wanted Erik’s baby more than she’d ever wanted anything in her life.
She fell asleep thinking of tiny fingers and toes, of sweet-smelling babies swaddled in feather-soft blankets.
Chapter Eleven
Anne woke to cramps and an urgent need to use the toilet. She swung her legs to the side of the bed and sat for a moment, fearing that her hopes had been dashed. She dressed quickly and ran outside to the outhouse, where she confirmed that her period had indeed arrived.
She wanted to weep. She’d wanted a child so much, not just for herself but for Erik. Pushing away the negative thoughts, she made her way back to the house. They’d only been married a little over a month. They had plenty of time to conceive a child.
Inside the house, she poured warm water from the reservoir in the woodstove into the basin in the washroom to clean herself. What she wouldn’t give to be able to fill the tub with hot, soapy water and sink to her nose in bubbles. Perhaps the comfort of a nice hot bath would take away the ache in her heart. Again, she told herself to be patient.
She splashed more water on her face to wash away her melancholy before it had a chance to take hold. After patting her face dry, she took a deep breath and stepped out into the kitchen just as a knock sounded at the door. When Astrid opened it, her face beamed.
“Anders! It’s so wonderful to see you!”
Anders lifted his mother off her feet and swung her around. “I missed you, Ma.”
Ingrid launched herself at her brother. “I missed you too, you big oaf! Where’s Signe?”
“She’s at her folks’ place. I borrowed my father-in-law’s team to get here.”
Tears streamed down Astrid’s face. “What are you doing here?”
“Do I need a reason to see my family?”
“No, but you know how Erik feels.”
“Yes, I know. I wanted to see you and Ingrid—and to talk to Erik.” His gaze locked with Anne’s across the room. “Anne asked me to come.”
Ingrid and Astrid turned to stare at her. “I wrote a letter to Anders shortly after our wedding, and when Carl Bjornson visited just after Christmas, I asked him to post it. It didn’t seem right that Erik and his brother should be so estranged from each other. I just want him to be happy.”
She tried to decide how she felt about seeing Anders again. Though they’d once been close, and she’d imagined herself in love with him, their relationship had been only a pale imitation of what she now felt for Erik. She suffered no regrets.
Anders went to her, his handsome features strained. “I’m sorry, Anne, for everything. I hurt you and turned your life upside down. I never should have asked you to marry me. I never stopped loving Signe. It wasn’t fair to either of you.”
“No, it wasn’t fair. But then if you hadn’t brought me here, I wouldn’t have met Erik.”
Anders shook his head. “You and Erik married. I can’t believe it. Are you happy?”
“Yes, very happy.” Tears obscured Anne’s vision. “I love him very much.”
Anders wrapped her in his arms. “You deserve all the happiness in the world.”
Anne kissed his cheek, glad that she could put this part of her life behind her. “So do you.”
****
Today he’d tell her he loved her.
Erik whistled a cheery off-key song as he shoveled manure from the stalls. After making love with Anne last night he’d slept as sound as a rock, waking more refreshed and happy than he could ever remember feeling. Even his leg didn’t bother him so much today.
He’d left the bedroom as quietly as he could, not wanting to disturb Anne. She deserved a chance to sleep late for a change. She worked as hard as any of them. He was proud of the way she’d thrown herself into learning how to cook, to milk cows, even deliver babies.
She was an amazing woman. It couldn’t have been easy for her, coming from England to what she must consider the primitive conditions on the farm. No electricity, no telephone, and weather harsher than anything she’d ever experienced before. But she’d coped without fuss or complaint.
What he’d done to deserve her he didn’t know. He was one lucky bastard.
When he finished his work, he leaned his shovel against the wall and made his way back to the house. A team of horses he didn’t recognize stood next to the house, indicating company had arrived. Erik pushed open the door, curious to see who was visiting.
His heart stopped when he saw his wife enveloped in his brother’s arms. His happiness blew away like so many petals in the wind.
“Anders, what are you doing here?”
Anne slipped out of his brother’s embrace, a happy smile on her face, as if she were thrilled to see Anders again. Pain knifed through his gut.
Anders cleared his throat. “I came to see everyone, and to talk to you. Anne wrote to tell me that the two of you married just before Christmas. I wanted to tell you how happy I was for both of you.”
Anger and fear danced in his head. Was he here to win Anne back?
“I also hoped that maybe you and I could talk. You’re my brother, Erik. I hate that we act more like rivals than family.”
Anne touched Erik’s arm. “Whatever happened before doesn’t matter. It’s time for a new start.”
He looked into her beautiful brown eyes, his heart breaking. “You wrote to Anders.”
“Yes, because I want the two of you to reconcile.” She squeezed his arm. “I want you to be happy.”
Happy? How could he be happy when she’d written his brother, the man she’d once been engaged to? He’d deluded himself into believing Anne felt something for him, something that had made her forget Anders. But now he saw nothing had changed.
He had to let her go, no matter how painful.
“I have work to do.”
He hurried from the house, pain and anger dogging his steps. How would he survive when Anne left?
He slid open the barn door and sat on the tack box, resting his head against the wooden stall. The sounds of the animals failed to soothe him as they usually did. He groaned and dropped his head into his hands. Why couldn’t Anne love him?
The creaking of the door drew his attention back to the here and now. His brother stepped inside and closed the door against the cold.
Anders rubbed his hands together. “I certainly don’t miss freezing my ass in the cold.”
“Then why did you come out here?”
“To talk to you. This bad blood between us has to stop. We’re brothers, for Christ’s sake.” He took a tentative step toward Erik. “I was thrilled when I heard you and Anne had married. She’s a wonderful girl.”
Erik gave a bitter laugh. “That’s strange coming from you, considering the way you treated her.”
“What I did to Anne was inexcusable. But marrying her would have been even worse. I didn’t love her.”
Erik pushed himself to his feet. “You’ve seen us, you’ve said your piece. Now you can go.”
“Don’t send me away like this. We’re brothers. Our father is dead, and for reasons neither of us understood, he treated us differently. I know you still resent it. I want to get past that. You’re the only brother I have.”
“And brothers share everything, right?”
“What do you mean?” Anders asked.
“Sometimes they even share women. Tell me brother, did you sleep with my wife?”
Anders stared at him for a moment, disappointment evident on his face. He turned to leave. “I’ll come back and talk to you another time. Maybe you’ll be more rational.”
“Answer me, dammit! Did you sleep with Anne? Did you sleep with my wife?”
“I’m not answering that.” He took a step toward the door.
Rage engulfed Erik. He felt as if he were seeing himself from a distance, unable to stop his actions. He threw his cane, hitting Anders on the back of the knees.
“Tell me, dammit!”
Anders threw the cane into a stall. “Yes! Is that what you want to hear? Yes, I slept with Anne! But don’t forget—she wasn’t your wife then. She was my fiancée, and it only happened one time. It was the night before my last bombing run. It was to be my last sortie before shipping home, and I was convinced I was going to die. Anne held me all through the night. We were both scared and lonely, and we needed each other. That’s all.”
“That’s all?” Erik leaned against a stall, shaking with anger. “All our lives you’ve been the privileged one, the golden boy, our father’s favorite. Everything always goes your way. Look how we ended up after the war. I’m damaged goods and you make it through without a scratch.”
“Not all wounds are on the outside,” Anders said. “My wounds are the nightly terrors, the dreams I see over and over where little children are running from bombed-out buildings, their clothes on fire.”
For a moment Erik let himself feel his brother’s pain. Then he hardened his heart.
“All my life I’ve lived in your shadow. You always got the best of everything. Just this once I wanted to be the one who got the best. But you’ve taken that away from me, too.”
“She stayed for you! She could have gone back to England. She could have gone to one of the big cities like Toronto or Montreal, where they have telephones and electricity and indoor toilets. She could have found work as a nurse there. But instead she decided to stay on this Godforsaken farm and work her fingers to the bone. Doesn’t that tell you something?”
He couldn’t hear any more. “Go! Get off my land and don’t come back.”
“Don’t make Anne pay for our father’s mistakes.”
With one last look back, Anders opened the barn door and left. Erik slid down the side of the stall and sat on the floor. So now he knew. And nothing would ever be the same.
****
Anne watched Anders climb into his sleigh and drive his team out of the yard. She waited for Erik to return to the house, anxious to see if he was all right. An hour passed, and then two, and still Erik didn’t return. Worried, she dressed warmly and walked through the snow to the barn. When she opened the door and slipped inside, she found Erik shoveling manure onto the stoneboat, the flat wooden raft-like contraption on skids that he hitched to one of the horses to remove the manure from the barn. He didn’t look up at her. Anne inched closer.
“You’ve been working out here a long time,” she said. “Why don’t you come into the house and warm up? I’ll make you some tea.”
“When were you going to tell me?” His voice was flat, colorless. He still didn’t look at her.