His Heart's Desire (24 page)

Turning, she made her way to the inviting bed. She slipped under the duvet and closed her eyes. She went to sleep praying that tonight, her last night in Scotland, Braden would finally come and visit her in her dreams.

He never came.

* * *

The next morning Cat slipped downstairs, intent on calling a cab to come and fetch her to the airport. Braden had already told her he’d take care of her rental.

Thinking that the others were still asleep, she entered the great hall which was the family room and found Braden sitting on the couch with a cup of coffee in his hand.

“Thought to sneak out without saying goodbye?”

Guilt pricked her conscience. That’s exactly what she’d planned on doing and that was no way to thank someone for their hospitality.

“Don’t bother lying, I can see it on your face.” He indicated the couch. “Have a seat, I’ll take you to the airport in a bit.”

Cat sat across from her host and waited. For what, she didn’t know.

“Would you like some coffee?”

“No, thank you, I don’t much care for the stuff.”

Braden smiled. “I admit it took me awhile to develop a taste but thanks to exams at university and all night study sessions, I’m a regular connoisseur of the coffee bean.”

Cat smiled. “Thank you again for inviting me to stay with you.”

“You’re welcome. Tell me, where are you from anyhow?”

A laugh escaped her. “I’m from New Orleans, Louisiana.”

“Ah, birthplace of jazz.”

“Amongst other things.”

“Never been there. Maybe one day I’ll make a trip to the States and I’ll visit your home.”

“Well, if you do, let me know so I can return the hospitality.”

“I’ll
do that, Catrìona MacDougall.”

Braden stood and put his coffee cup down on an end table. “I guess we better get going if we’re going to get you to Inverness in time to catch your flight.”

Cat followed, oddly sad to be leaving this castle once again. “If you’d prefer, I’d be happy to call a cab.”

“No, you won’t. I’ll see you to the airport. Let me just grab my coat and keys.”

Braden left her alone while he got his things. Cat went to the door and waited for him. She had her suitcase in hand when he finally returned with a wrapped package.

“Here, let me take your suitcase. Happy Christmas.”

“No, you can’t give me anything else. You’ve already given me enough as it is.”

“Please, take this, I want you to have it but you can’t open it until you get home.” He gave her a devilish smile
, which pulled a grin from her.

“Very well, thank you very much.”

Braden opened the door. “You don’t even know what it contains. Maybe it’s a haggis?”

Cat shook the box. “Nope, not a haggis.”

Braden laughed. “If you say so.”

They both climbed into the SUV and the trip to Invernes
s was made in relative silence.

They reached the te
rminal and Braden went to park.

“No, you don’t have to do that, please just drop me off.” Cat moved to release her seatbelt and Braden stilled her hand.

“I hope you find what you’re looking for, lass.” He lifted her hand to his mouth and placed a kiss on her knuckles. “
Bon voyage
, Catrìona MacDougall.”

Her eyes welled with tears. Lord, when did she become such a watering pot? She hated that this seemed to be her natural reaction to just about anything and she couldn’t even blame the affliction on PMS. “Thank you.”

Braden put the car in park and assisted her with her suitcase. He didn’t say anything else as she pulled her suitcase behind her and entered the airport.

Before long, she was sitting by her gate waiting for her flight to be called. She watched as a crew de-iced the plane. She’d come to Scotland looking for answers and possibly a way to mend her heart. She came away with a few answers and the understanding that she was strong and could deal with the future. At least, she hoped she could. The call for boarding pulled her from her thoughts and s
he gathered her carry-on items.

Thankfully the flight wasn’t a full one and the seat beside her was empty. She belted herself in and sat back and waited until it was their turn on the runway. As they took off, she said her final farewell to Scotland. After the plane climbed above the clouds, she pulled the shade down and closed her eyes. She vowed she’d make the entire flight tear-free. Her vow was not easily kept.

CHAPTER THIRTY-FIVE

The ringing of her doorbell pulled Cat from a restless sleep. Her eyes burned from the copious tears she’d shed throughout the night, and a fair deal of exhaustion. She lay listening to the banging on the door, wishing whoever was on the other side to perdition. She didn’t want to see anyone.

Pulling a pillow over her head, she tried to ignore the sound. How dare anyone interrupt her grieving? She’d just returned from Scotland and was suffering from a multitude of issues such as jetlag and the ever-present confusion and heartache. She’d promised herself one more day of a pity party before doing her best to get on with her life. At least, that was the plan.

For a brief moment the cacophony of sound ceased and she breathed a sigh of relief. But it was short lived. The banging resumed and, with it, Cat’s temper rose. Deciding to murder whoever was on the other side of her door, she stumbled down the stairs, tripping over the suitcase she hadn’t bothered to carry up stairs the day before.

She stood, her head pounding from the previous evening’s crying jag, and made her way to the front entry. Fearing she looked like an extra from Night of the Living Dead, she swung the door open. “What?” She stood agape. Standing on the other side was the very last person she thought she’d see, or wanted to set eyes on for that matter.

“What are you doing here?” She heard the venom dripping from each word. Cat was stunned to realize how badly she wanted to cause Morgana physical damage. Cat was not a violent person by nature.

Morgana offered her a smile. “You look like hell.”

“Since that’s where you’ve all but consigned my life, I would say that’s an appropriate description. Thanks for stopping by with your input.” Cat tried to shut Morgana out, but she stopped her.

“Wait.”

Cat closed her eyes and rested her head against the door. “Haven’t you done enough already?”

“I think I have something to tell you that you’ll want to hear.”

“You have nothing to say that I want to hear. Go away and destroy some other helpless person. Leave me alone.” She tried to close the door once again.

“I wouldn’t be so sure.” Morgana pushed the door open. “Please, hear me out.”

“Why should I?” Cat challenged.

“Because I want to make this right.”

“Right. Let me guess, you were visited by the ghost from Christmas future and you’ve had a total change of heart? No?” Cat laughed as Morgana narrowed her eyes at her. “Hmm. So tell me, why now? Why would you want to help me now? You were so proud of yourself last week.”

“May I come in, please?”

Cat didn’t want her in her house; she didn’t want to share the same air with the one woman who let the past dictate her future. And, in doing so, dictated Cat’s future. Still, she found herself opening the door so Morgana could come inside.

Cat led the way to the parlor and
sat in an armchair and waited.

“I know you hate me, and you have every reason in the world to do so. You have to understand, I grew up listening to the tales of how my ancestress had been devastated by unrequited love.”

Cat didn’t say anything, for a heartbeat. Then she let the pain and anger loose on the woman before her. “If you were so bent on being kind, why the hell did you even consider for a moment ruining my life? Your heart is black and I’d not be surprised at all to find out you had no concept of what being happy or in love is like. Who would even be stupid enough to put any effort into loving you?” Cat was tired and cranky. It wasn’t a good combination and yet she did not feel overwhelming remorse for her words.

“When I saw Braden weeks ago, I knew instantly that my aunt’s spell was broken. You have to understand, it was our job to make sure he suffered for all eternity.”

“Why? He could no more help who he loved as you can control who your heart yearns for? Your aunt was cruel and selfish. And so are you.” Cat stood. “I think you should leave.”

Morgana kept her seat. “You’re making a mistake.”

“Well, it’s my mistake to make.” Tears burned the back of Cat’s eyelids. What the hell did she care if she was making a mistake at that moment? Her heart was broken and she was grieving. And she was tired, dammit. “I’m going to ask you one more time to leave.”

Morgana stood and stared at her. “Have a wonderful life.”

“Yeah, you too.” Cat listened to her leave. The sound of the door closing behind her seemed to reverberate through the house.

Alone. Again.

* * *

“This is ridiculous.” Cat tossed the throw pillow she’d been holding back on the couch. She was tired and hungry and not used to feeling sorry for herself. Then again, she’d never had the man she loved more than anything snatched from her before either. So maybe in this situation a little weeping and self-indulgence wasn’t out of line. Since she didn’t buy food for just such an event, the rumbling and cramping of her belly sent her to her room to change from her Pjs. Slipping into a pair of sweats and a t-shirt she inhaled the fading scent of Braden deep into her lungs, then ran downstairs, put on her tennis shoes and palmed her keys and wallet. She needed comfort food. The best comfort food in the world were
beignets
. She headed in the direction of the Café Du Monde and enjoyed the fresh air against her face. She was just reaching Jackson Square when the strange woman with the purple hair approached her.

“Excuse me.” The woman stepped in front of her. “I really need to speak with you and offer an apology.”

“I’m sorry. Do I know you?”

“No, you don’t know me, but you do know my sister, Morgana.”

The strange woman’s words sliced through Cat. She tried to walk around the woman. “I don’t want to talk to you.” The woman moved out of her way but didn’t leave her alone. Instead, she followed beside Cat as she made her way toward the river.

“I know that my sister is at fault for your heartache. Trust me, if there was
anything
I could do to change this, I would. You have to believe me.”

“I don’t have to do anything. Your family has caused me enough trouble to last a lifetime. No, two lifetimes,” she said in a raised voice. “I appreciate that you want to make things right by me, but right now, I’m not inclined to listen to you apologize for your sister.”

“Of course not, that’s not what I mean.”

Cat stopped abruptly. “Your sister stole from me. She took my heart and my future with Braden. The only thing she didn’t manage to steal like a rotten thief is the memories I have of him. Do you know that even people who knew him don’t remember him? The portrait I treasured is
. . . gone.” The last was said in a whisper.

“I know.”

“You know?”

“Yes. The spell that Morgana used sent him back to the moment of the ambush.”

“So you’re telling me she took him from me to possibly die at the hands of your twisted aunt or cousin, or whatever she was to you?” Cat shook her head. “Of course she wanted him dead. Right now he’s been dead for eight hundred years. I have news for you to take back to your sister. He didn’t die. He survived the ambush and lived.”

“I didn’t know that. I’m glad he didn’t die as a result of trusting the wrong person. The point is, because of Morgana’s curse, he was never sent into the fade and therefore never haunted the dreams of women.”

“Hence the reason for the missing portrait. It was never painted.” Cat nibbled on her lower lip. “Then why do I still have memories of him?” Her voice cracked as she worked hard to swallow the tears building in her throat. She would not cry in front of this woman.

“Your heart could not be erased; he touched it personally.”

“Well, that at least explains why no one in Scotland knew him in this time period and why Elspeth didn’t remember me.”

“Exactly. History has been changed. Now, you never made that first journey because there was no painting; there was no man haunting your dreams.”

Cat stared off into the distance. The riverboat getting ready to depart the dock sounded its whistle; the sounds of tourists talking and laughing cluttered her hearing. The idea that her world, as she had known it, was no longer real was too much for her to absorb. How could she pretend she didn’t remember Braden? She could still remember how it felt to be held by him, his touch still lingered in her mind. She looked at the woman beside her. “I’m sorry, what is your name?”

“Constance. I’m Morgana’s sister.”

“The good sister.”

“I’m so sorry that my sister ruined your life.”

“So am I, Constance. So am I.” She looked down at her feet.

“You have nothing to be sorry for. I just wish there was some way I could help you. Fix what is now very broken.”

“Short of sending me back to Braden, there’s nothing anyone can do. I’m going to have to learn to live without him. I know I’m not the only one to have lost the love of my life, but right now, I feel like I’m the only one that has ever felt this bad.” She snorted. “I really do need to get off this pity train. It’s turning me into someone I can’t stand.”

“If you need anything, don’t hesitate to call.” Constance held out her card.

Cat offered a small smile and took the proffered piece of paper. “Thanks.” Turning, she walked toward the river. Life presented all kinds of surprises.

*
* *

The afternoon dragged by at a snail’s pace. Summer came and visited; she tried to get Cat to tell her what was wrong. Cat refused, because speaking the truth aloud would make it real. And by making it real she’d have to face life without Braden. Sometimes it was just easier in the short term to avoid, ignore and pretend. A part of her deep down inside hoped that if she kept her secret and ignored her real
ity, things would be different.

Her crying jag throughout the night had left her feeling tired and hungover. She found it impossible to sleep since she no longer dreamed about Braden. At the same time her mind worked frantically trying to come up with a new solution. Her heart refused to believe this was the end. She returned to her room, pulled the curtains shut and crawled into bed. Once again she pulled his pillow close and closed her eyes. A headache pounded in her left eye and she wanted the escape of sleep. Void of dreams and memories. A place she could pretend everything was as it should be. If there was anything good, at least her eyes were
no longer leaking like a sieve.

Sleep refused to come and instead, Cat spent the rest of the evening watching shadows dance across her room until there was no light, just a depressing darkness that was oddly comforting. Alone in the quiet, she allowed herself to wonder what Morgana had wanted to say to her.

What could this woman who stole her dreams, her future, and her heart, possibly have to say that she’d want to hear? Morgana clearly didn’t believe in love or happy endings and now Cat had to question whether they existed as well. Lord above knew, she wasn’t going to have one. She’d vowed earlier, in a
beignet
-induced sugar rush, to live a life of celibacy and enjoy the gift of her existence until she was able to pass on to the next life. Just like Morgana said, something a little
a la Titanic
.

Her mind started to conjure up a fantastic possibility. She’d watched as Morgana conjured a spell that sent both Braden, Alec and Meagan out of her life. Was it possible that she could send Cat to the same place she’d sent them?

After all, up until a few months ago she’d had no idea one could be haunted by a painting, or that she could pull a person from the thirteenth century to the twenty-first. Or that said man and cousin could be taken away just as easily. And how did the whole Meagan being taken work? She hadn’t been a part of that all those years ago.

Cat tried to remember where Meagan was when Morgana intoned her venom and that’s when she remembered. Alec had been holding her and kissing her goodbye. That had to be the key. They had been connected with their breaths mingling, that must have been how she was included in the spell. Cat had been at least an arm’s length away because Braden had been in the process of challenging Morgana.

Cat sat up and put the pillow in her lap. Braden had been willing to stay in the twenty-first century with her. Was she willing to live in the twelfth century with him? Would she be willing to leave her family and friends, her career, and the technology behind, in order to spend the rest of her life with him? Would she be able to sit back and let the big bad warrior take care of her without voicing her opinions? She knew that wasn’t a popular thing back in that time.

She liked to camp, so it would be an endless life of roughing it as far as amenities went. Plus, she would have some very valuable knowledge from the twenty-first century that could help make life bearable, such as better hygienic habits. And above all, she’d be with Braden. She wasn’t sure how something like that worked, was it like sticking a pin in a map and boom there you were? There was a great deal to consider but was she willing to take the chance if it meant being with Braden?

She’d be willing to do whatever she needed in order to not feel this emptiness anymore. She didn’t want to experience the rest of her life without the man who’d meant the world to her. Cat didn’t want to get over him. She loved him and if there was any possible way to be with him, she’d do it without hesitation.