His Absolute Betrayal - Elise's Love Story: The Billionaire's Continuum (#2) (A Contemporary Romance Novel) (14 page)

"Get on all fours," I said.  Out of some random respect for Lucent's BDSM protocol, I added, "For trying to steal Lucent away from me, I'm going to spank you ten times with the paddle.  Do you understand?"

Always have a reason, regardless of what it is.  Always state exactly what you're going to do in a clear and even tone.

Elle practically scrambled to get on all fours.  She seemed far too excited about this, or fearful.  Sometimes they both looked a little the same.  I couldn't see her face, so I wasn't sure which was which.

When she was on her hands and knees, she nodded and said, "Yes, Mistress."

"What's your safeword?" I asked her.

"I don't like to use it," she said.

For whatever reason, that really bothered me.  I picked up the paddle and smacked her left butt cheek.  Not too hard, but a little more than a light warning.

"I didn't ask what you like," I said.  "I asked you what your safeword is.  Who do you think you are?  You're just a stupid letter in the alphabet.  Answer me.  Now."

I thought I was both inordinately witty and extremely stupid for saying half of those things.  I hoped she didn't realize I had no idea what I was doing... or not exactly.

If she did, it didn't matter.  She answered me.  "It's Lucent," she said.  "Master Storme always made me call him Lucent when he wanted me to stop, except I never—"

She didn't get to finish that sentence or those thoughts.  I spanked her ass.  Hard.  Directly in the center, hitting both cheeks.  A resounding smack echoed through the room and when I pulled the paddle back, there was the glorious beginnings of redness.

"That's two," I said.  "Eight more.  No more talking unless I ask you a question."

These were the sorts of things Lucent said to me when we were playing at his BDSM things.  This was different, though.  First off, Elle actually listened and did as I said.  Perhaps that was why Lucent liked her?  I didn't listen.  Sometimes I didn't think I knew how to listen.  I just wanted to know.  I wanted to explain my side of things.  I wanted...

Maybe I didn't know exactly what I wanted.  Sometimes I wanted to be tossed around and treated roughly.  Even then, I wanted to be loved, though.  Lucent did that, or I thought he did.  I wasn't sure anymore.

Other times I liked to be equal.  I wanted to talk to Lucent and have him consider my thoughts, but I also wanted him to talk to me and to ask me my opinion.  I liked when he took control sometimes, but not every situation needed a constant controller.  Some situations didn't need anything, and others needed balance.

And sometimes I...

I spanked Elle for a third, fourth, and fifth time.  I moved from the top to the side to the bottom in rapid succession.  With each spank, I felt the smooth metal rivets on the handle of the paddle biting into my palm.

I waited for the sixth one, pressing the paddle against her rear and rubbing it back and forth.  I pulled it back fast as if to spank her, but I didn't.  She braced herself for the hit, trying to prepare for it.  This was something I did sometimes, too.  And every time it happened, Lucent would...

As soon as she stopped tensing her thighs, I spanked her hard.  And another time before she realized it.  She bucked forward, letting out a scrambled moan.

She liked this, didn't she?  That thought really bothered me.

She still wore her underwear, which looked mostly like regular panties.  They didn't cover the entirety of her butt, but they weren't exactly skimpy, either.  I reached forward and pulled the bottoms tight, wedging her panties between both cheeks.  And then I spanked her for the eighth, ninth, and tenth time.  Hard, harder, and hardest.  She yelped after each one.  Loud.  Louder.  Loudest.

She started to move, to return to kneeling, but I stopped her with a word.  "Stay."

I put the paddle on the bed and took up the riding crop.

"I'm going to ask you some questions," I said.  "If I don't like your answers..."  I snapped the tongue of the riding crop against her thigh.  "That's what you'll get.  Understand?"

She nodded fast.  "Yes, Mistress."

"Good," I said.  "First question: Do you love Lucent?"

"Yes," she said.

I slapped the back of her thigh with the riding crop.

"Does he love you?  Has he ever told you he did?"

"No, Mistress."

I'd planned on spanking her with the riding crop, but I stopped myself.  That... well, it was a good answer to me.  Good enough, at least.  Obviously she wouldn't know if he really did love her, but if he never said it, then that was all I could go by.

"No lying," I reminded her.

"I won't lie, Mistress."

"Why did Lucent call you today?" I asked.  "Why did he bring me here?"

"It's a long answer," she said.

I kicked her legs farther apart, sliding her knees across the floor.  Swift and decisive, I placed the flat tongue of the riding crop against one of her inner thighs, then I smacked it back and forth, striking left, then right, left, right, leftright, fast.  The sound of quick, sharp smacks jumped between her thighs.

"I don't care how long the answer is.  Answer me," I said, pausing to admire her new bright red marks.

She shivered and tensed.  "He... he told me you were both in trouble and you needed somewhere to hide.  He's told me about you.  He told me he loves you but I don't know why.  Why should he love you when you aren't even submissive?  Do you force yourself on him like this instead?"

What?  Why would I...?  I didn't understand a thing she was saying.  "Why did he bring me here?  Why here?  Why with you?  What's going on between you two."

Before she could answer, I lapped the tongue of the crop against her ass, then her side, then the center of her back.  She fidgeted, waiting for me to stop before finally answering.

"Nothing," she said, frustrated.  "There's nothing going on between us.  I haven't seen him in years.  All he does is email me now.  I help him.  I love helping him.  I love him, too.  He doesn't want to talk to me.  It's my fault.  He said things were over between us and that he'd never talk to me again, but I couldn't give up like that.  I just couldn't.  So I told him I would help him, but it ended up being even worse.  I don't... I don't have anyone."

"What do you mean?" I asked.  I held the riding crop passively at my side.

"Lucent left me because I wasn't good enough.  He didn't love me, and he never loved me.  I knew that going in, but it didn't stop me from loving him.  I thought maybe he'd change his mind, but he didn't, and now he loves you.  He'd do anything for you, even coming back to me because it's safe here.  I hate him.  I hate him so much because I love him and it means nothing.  Even still, I can't do anything about it.  I can't stop.  I keep... I keep..."

Elle tried to remain upright and strong, even in her submission, but her faltering voice told a different story.  I hated it.  I hated myself for doing this.

"I don't believe you," I said, throwing the riding crop to the side.  "You said your safeword.  Get up.  I'm done."

"I didn't mean to say it," she said.  "Y-you can keep going.  I didn't mean to."

"You said your safeword," I repeated.  "Get up."

She stood slowly, stiff joints remembering how to move again.  It was difficult staying on your hands and knees for very long like that.  I knew because I'd done it before.  Maybe it didn't exactly hurt, but it was never comfortable, and getting up involved aches and pain.

"Sit," I said, directing her to the bed.

She sat.  I reached forward and unclipped the nipple clamps from her breasts.  I threw those to the side with the riding crop.  They clattered to the floor, scurrying away from my wrath.

"I don't know how to do aftercare," I said.

She looked at me with that frustrating look of hers, head tilted to the side in questioning.

"I don't do this," I said.  "I've never done that before.  It's always... Lucent's always the top, and I'm the bottom, the submissive.  He takes care of me and cuddles with me and makes sure everything's fine.  I don't know how to do it.  I know it's mostly just cuddling and soft words, but I don't think I can do that with you."

She smiled with tranquil acceptance.  "That's alright.  Hold on a second."

Elle crawled up the bed towards the pillows, reaching beneath one of them.  She pulled out a key, then crawled back and handed it to me.  I took it, staring at it, confused.

"It opens the chest," she said.

I shrugged and went over to the chest.  Bending down, I unlocked it and opened it.

I didn't know what I expected to find.  Anything but what I found, probably.

Squeezed into the chest was a large, pink stuffed rabbit.  I pulled it out and held it up, showing it to her.  Elle held her hands out for it like she was a little child and I was her mother.  The image bothered me, because it looked oddly endearing, despite the fact she was a grown adult and I very likely hated her.

"Lucent gave it to me," she said.  "He won it at a carnival.  I begged him to go with me.  He never wanted to.  He never wanted to go outside anywhere with me, or with any of the other submissives.  I talk to them sometimes.  I don't think we're friends, exactly, but maybe we understand each other better than most people.  The only time he ever went anywhere with me in public was to that carnival, and then he won that stuffed rabbit and gave it to me."

I squeezed the rabbit hard in my hands.  Part of me wanted to throw it against the wall, another part wanted to tear off its limbs, and the last part felt sorry for her and wanted to give it to her.

"He left after that.  A week later he left me.  He told me to throw it away because it didn't mean anything, but I couldn't.  I'm sorry I kept it.  Please don't tell him."

I offered her the stuffed animal.  She accepted it, gladly.

"We didn't have sex," she said.  "I know I made it sound like that.  I put
zolpidem
in his tea.  I use it at night because I have a hard time falling asleep.  It works fast.  He fell asleep.  That's all."

"Thank you for telling me, but it doesn't change anything," I said.

Elle had nothing to say to that, she just squeezed the stuffed rabbit close to her chest.  We stood there in silence.

"You're lucky," she said after awhile.  "With Lucent, I mean.  I wish I was you.  You're lucky."

"I'm not," I said.  I took in a deep breath, then turned away from her.  "I'm going to leave now.  I can't stay here.  You can tell Lucent if you want, but you don't have to.  Just tell him I won't go to the police, though.  He can stay here for as long as he wants, as long as it's safe, but I'm going to go home, or somewhere.  Somewhere else.  I don't know where yet."

I started to walk away, but Elle stopped me with a few startling words.  "I know you said you hadn't done that before, but you were good at it," she said.  "I needed it.  I needed something like that.  You probably hate me, but if you ever need anything, you can ask me for help."

I didn't want to ask her for help.  I wanted to hate her, to continue hating her.  I wanted to hate her just because she was who she was, and for no other reason for that.  If I needed more reasons, there were plenty, though.  She infuriated me to the point of lashing out in a way I'd never considered before.  She drugged Lucent with some sleeping medicine, then made it sound like they had sex.  She kept some reminder of him locked away in a chest in her BDSM playroom even though he told her to throw it away.  She loved Lucent and I wanted to love Lucent, but I didn't know how that was possible right now.  I didn't know how he could be so stupid.  How could he even think that coming here was a good idea?  Because, it wasn't.  I might not know about everything, and I couldn't say if all of my ideas were good, too, but I expected Lucent to at least think things through.

He always thought everything through.  He always acted after calculating the perceived benefits and the consequences of his actions.  Except for right now, apparently.  Maybe he was just pretending all along.  Maybe he was false and fake and I didn't know anything about him.

I didn't want to believe that, but unfortunately it was an easy thing to believe right now.

I walked out of the room and left Elle alone.  I hated her, but I didn't want to hurt her anymore.  I just wanted to be alone.  I wanted to be anywhere but here.

How could Lucent make such a huge mistake?  Why did I still want to love him?

I retraced my steps and found my way through the twisting halls of Elle's apartment.  Briefly, I wondered what she did for a living that allowed her to afford a place like this.  Did it have something to do with Lucent, or...?

No, better not to think about that.  I'd do best to focus on the present and myself and what I needed to do next.

Unfortunately, I had no idea.

I opened the front door to Elle's apartment and stepped into the halls, taking the elevator to the first floor, then making my way to the entrance of the building.  Somehow, at some point in time, it had become night.  The streetlights flickered, illuminating a narrow path along the sidewalk.  This part of the city remained quiet at dusk, apparently.  A couple of people walked past me as I stepped down onto the sidewalk, but no one paid me any mind.

Right now I wasn't Elise Tanner.  I wanted to be her again, but I couldn't.  I was nothing and no one, just a person standing on the sidewalk by the street, easy to walk by, indistinguishable from anyone else.

Perhaps it was for the best.  I knew nothing of Lucent's plans, nor what he wanted to do.  Why did it matter what he wanted to do, though?  I wasn't with him, I was by myself.

Glancing left, then right, I tried to figure out what to do.  Usually people had direction in life, even if it was something simple.  We woke up in the morning with plans to go to work, and at work we followed a standard routine, then once we finished we went home.  Life happened sometime in between that, yes, but I thought most people never really felt completely directionless.

Right now I had nothing, though.  I couldn't go home, I couldn't go to work.  This was a terrible dream, but I couldn't even wake up.