Authors: Emily Harvale
The sky was filled with stars, and the full moon cast a path on the crisp white snow, leading towards the snowmen the guys had built earlier. Lizzie couldn’t help but smile. They looked like soldiers on an inspection parade and she crunched her way towards them.
‘Stand up straight, soldier,’ she said to one of them whilst Alastair ran up and down the line as if he were a drill sergeant.
‘Talking to snowmen,’ Jack said from a few feet behind her.
Lizzie almost jumped out of her skin. ‘Oh my God! I didn’t hear you coming. You frightened me to death.’
‘Sorry,’ he said, ‘I didn’t mean to scare you – but, you look very much alive to me.’
Her heart was pounding but she wasn’t sure if it was from the fright or knowing she was alone out here with Jack. ‘That’s okay,’ she said trying to steady her breathing. She turned away from the snowmen and headed towards the field where Alastair was now digging a hole in the snow.
Jack fell into step a few feet away from her. ‘Did they pass inspection?’ He nodded back towards the snowmen.
Lizzie smiled at him and the moonlight caught her face giving it an ethereal glow.
Jack closed the short distance between them in seconds and grabbed her by her arms pulling her gently but firmly towards him. His sapphire blue eyes seemed almost black in the moonlight and she saw something in them that both frightened and thrilled her. She had the oddest feeling that this was going to be a life changing event.
‘God Lizzie,’ he murmured, wrapping her in his arms, ‘what the hell have you done to me?’
‘Nothing –,’ she began but his mouth came down on hers stifling any further reply.
So this is how heroines in the movies feel when they’re being kissed by a superhero, she thought, during the first few seconds of his kiss. She was sure she was floating. She couldn’t feel the ground beneath her feet. She was definitely spinning, she must be. She could feel his mouth on hers, gentle yet demanding, and even if she’d wanted to resist, she wouldn’t have been able to, but she didn’t want to.
She was travelling at light speed and her entire body was tingling from the inside, out. The kiss grew deeper, more passionate and Lizzie wrapped her arms around him, clinging to him as if she would fall to her death if she let him go, kissing him back with the same intensity, as he slid one hand through her hair and pulled her even closer.
‘Lizzie! Telephone.’
Jane’s voice broke in on them like cold water on a fire and Lizzie felt her feet return to the ground with a thud, although in reality, they’d never left it.
‘Lizzie,’ Jane called again. She couldn’t see her friend but she knew she wouldn’t have gone far.
Alastair barked in reply.
Jack still held Lizzie in his arms, their eyes locked as if they were caught in a magnetic beam and were being pulled together, both breathing heavily in the cold night air.
‘Lizzie. It’s Max,’ Jane called out.
‘Oh God,’ Lizzie said.
‘Who’s Max?’ Jack asked, his voice not quite his own.
‘My ... my husband.’
Jack let go of her so suddenly, she almost stumbled.
‘What the hell do you want, Max?’
‘And a good evening to you too sweetheart,’ Max said after a startled pause. ‘I was just calling to check that everything is going okay. Is there a problem? Do you need me to come up?’
‘No!’ Lizzie almost screamed down the phone. ‘Sorry Max. It ... it’s been a strange day. Everything’s ... fine.’
‘Are you sure? You sound ... different somehow. They’re not giving you a hard time are they?’
Lizzie almost choked. She considered telling him what Jack had been giving her when he’d called, but she knew she wouldn’t.
‘No. You were right; they’re a great bunch of guys. No trouble at all. I’m just tired. Long day. In fact ... I was just thinking about bed when you called.’ Max wouldn’t know how true that was and a trickle of guilt ran through her as she remembered the feel of Jack pressed against her.
‘Lizzie? Did you hear me?’
‘Sorry Max, miles away. What did you say?’
‘I said, don’t let me keep you up then. I’ll call tomorrow. Goodnight sweetheart – and pleasant dreams. Maybe you’ll dream about me. I’ll certainly be dreaming about you.’
‘Goodnight Max.’ Lizzie hung up. Max, she realised with a little surprise, would definitely not be in her dreams tonight.
‘I’ll love you and leave you, if that’s okay?’ Jane was standing by the door to the kitchen.
‘What? Oh yes of course. You’re welcome to stay though, you know that.’
‘I know. But I need to sort out something to wear tomorrow night and I’ve got a few things to do. I think the guys might be making it an all-nighter so I don’t suppose they’ll want breakfast too early. See you about ten-ish. Call me if you need me to come over earlier. Lizzie? Are you okay?’
‘Yeah I’m fine. Just tired, sorry. Come later if you want. I can manage breakfast. Is Jack ... I mean, are they all in the sitting room?’
Jane’s brows knit together. ‘You sure you’re okay? You look ... a bit flustered.’
‘I’m fine, honestly.’ Lizzie wasn’t ready to tell Jane about the kiss. She wasn’t sure what was happening to her and she needed time to get her head around it.
‘Okay, if you say so. Phil went up shortly after you went out and Jack’s just gone up – he said to say goodnight, by the way. He seemed in a bit of a mood to be honest. The others are still in there. I’d leave them to it.’
‘Oh.’ So Jack had gone to bed. What did that mean? Was he angry because Max had called? Did he even care? Was it just a brief kiss? The result of a long day and twenty-four hours of drinking. Maybe tomorrow he’d have forgotten he’d even kissed her.
‘I said, Goodnight Lizzie. Are you really okay? I can stay if you’d rather.’
‘No.’ Lizzie pulled herself together. ‘I was just wondering what they would do tomorrow. You go. I’m off to bed. Goodnight.’
Lizzie walked with Jane to the main front door and hugged her goodnight then stood by the door and watched until she was out of sight. She went back into the kitchen to check Alastair was curled up in his basket – he was – then she ambled towards the sitting room.
‘I’ll say goodnight, if you don’t mind guys. Breakfast can be anytime you want it. I’ll be in the kitchen after I’ve fed the animals, from about seven thirty.’
‘Goodnight,’ the guys all said at once.
‘Don’t mind if we stay up for a bit do you?’ Jeff asked.
‘No. See you in the morning. Everything’s locked that needs to be, so just switch off the lights when you go up would you?’
‘Yeah. Night,’ Pete said, and they went back to their game of poker.
Jack needed to think. Things were spiralling out of control and he had to sort them through in his mind. When he’d decided earlier that a fling with Lizzie wouldn’t hurt, in fact, would be a good way to put his doubts to rest, he’d assumed that what he’d been feeling were just pre-wedding jitters and one night with Lizzie would put them in perspective. Now, he wasn’t so sure.
What he hadn’t thought about – hadn’t given a moment’s consideration to – was, what if he wanted more? What if he actually had feelings for Lizzie? Why would he have felt such a pang of jealousy when he’d discovered her husband was calling her if he’d just wanted a one night stand?
This was crazy. In real life, you didn’t fall in love at first sight and change your whole future for a total stranger. It just didn’t happen. Did it? But Lizzie didn’t feel like a total stranger. When he looked into her eyes it was as if ... as if what?
As if he’d found something he didn’t even know he was looking for. God, now he really was being ridiculous.
It was the
forever
bit that was making him feel like this. Once he was married there’d be no other women in his bed. From then on it would only be Kim and somehow, that didn’t feel as good as it should have.
He didn’t understand. It wasn’t as if the thought of being with just one woman forever bothered him. He liked the idea. His mum and dad had been happily married for forty years and they were still as much in love now as when they’d married. More so, his father had once told him. So, what was the problem?
‘Snap out of it, Jack,’ he said out loud as he opened the door to his room – and the realisation hit him as if he’d left the window open. A sudden blast of the cold, hard truth.
Kim was the problem. He loved her but not enough. Not nearly enough. If he had, he knew that thinking about making love to someone else wouldn’t even cross his mind. And when he’d kissed Lizzie just now, all he wanted to do was make love to her.
But she was still married and despite what she’d said, she still went running to the phone when her husband called. Still wore the wedding and engagement rings on her left hand.
He remembered what it had felt like to kiss her – and he remembered something else – she had kissed him back, one hundred and ten percent, she’d kissed him back and with a longing and a passion he was sure had equalled his own.
What the hell was going on? Was she playing a game with him? Did she think they could have a quick fling and then she’d wave him goodbye? Was she using her wedding ring as a shield against getting emotionally involved with other men or was she using other men to get revenge on her husband for something he’d done?
‘Shit!’ he said. He wouldn’t be able to sleep. Not with all this going on in his head. What he needed was a drink.
Lizzie tossed and turned all night. She hadn’t felt like this since she’d discovered Max’s affair with
that woman
and she couldn’t make sense of it. She hadn’t even known Jack for twenty-four hours and yet – she felt as if she’d known him all her life. A cliché – but it was true.
This was Max’s fault. He’d persuaded her to take the booking. She wouldn’t have met Jack if she’d said no. Why couldn’t she ever say no to Max? But she could, and she had – once.
Two years ago when she’d found him in their bed with
that woman
and she’d packed a bag and fled to Jane’s. Two years ago, when she’d walked into Laurellei Farm and knew she had to buy it. Two years ago. God had it really been that long? Max had asked her to stay. Pleaded with her in fact – and she’d said no.
What had happened since then? She’d bought the farm, set up a bed and breakfast with Jane’s help. Settled into a completely different life. Started to rebuild a future. A future without Max.
No, Max was still very much a part of her life. He was still her husband. He still came to see her. He still ... oh God, only eight weeks ago he’d been in this bed. She could remember the feel of him, the smell of him.
What was she doing? She still loved Max despite his betrayal. Still went weak at the knees when he touched her. Still saw him as a part of her future. Or she had until today. So what had changed?
She had never considered being with anyone else, sleeping with anyone else. Until Jack. When she was in Jack’s arms tonight all she wanted was him. Max hadn’t entered her head for even a nano-second. How could that be? Could she really have fallen into bed with Jack and not given Max a second thought?
Like the ghost at a party Max haunted her mind. She loved him but could she love someone else as much? Until today she would have said no – but now? She had to decide, once and for all. Could she really face a future without Max?
Lizzie hadn’t slept well. She’d finally drifted off in the early hours of the morning only to have the strangest dreams of Max and
that woman
and Jack and herself and they all seemed to be dancing in some sort of never ending circle. She couldn’t remember the details but she’d awoken feeling their lives were all entwined in some horrible, farcical way.
The snow had held off and the morning promised to be bright and clear, if rather cold. She’d take Alastair for a walk then do some baking and go over things in her mind. Baking always helped her think clearly and it also produced bread and scones and cakes and rolls, true comfort food – so it was dual purpose.
Lizzie forced a smile. She’d thought her life had been complicated before – but now... Wow. What a difference a day makes. She showered and dressed in jeans and an Arran jumper Jane had knitted her for Christmas and with her hair loose, she headed down towards the kitchen. Instead of taking the back stairs leading from the barn conversion into the kitchen, she used the main hall.
All the doors to the guy’s rooms were shut and she felt a mixture of relief and disappointment. Part of her was hoping Jack might be up so that she could see what he’d do; whether or not he’d remember the kiss. Part of her was dreading it and hoped he’d sleep until Jane arrived so that she would have some moral support.
She started humming to herself to try to lift her spirits. Whatever happened, she’d put on a brave face. Jack was here for three more days and it was Iain’s ceilidh tonight. Another drunken evening no doubt.
Jack might try and kiss her again and she had to be ready for it, had to see this for what it probably was as far as Jack was concerned. A final fling. By the time she reached the kitchen, she’d stopped humming.
Alastair’s ears pricked up when he heard her footsteps and he was ready and waiting by the door when she walked in.
‘Good morning gorgeous. How are you?’
Alastair barked softly; as if he knew there were hangovers in the making upstairs.
‘Come on then,’ Lizzie said opening the kitchen door and letting a freezing gust of wind in. ‘Oh! That’s cold boy. I think I might leave you to it until I’ve had a cup of coffee.’
Alastair glanced up at her then sped off towards the snowy fields. Lizzie pushed the door to and put the kettle on. She made coffee and toast as she started sorting out the breakfast plates and bowls. Twenty minutes later, she had set the table in the dining room for breakfast.
She marched into the hall and put on her thick coat, a wool hat, scarf and gloves and decisively headed out into the cold to join Alastair. He wouldn’t have gone far, and he would be fine on his own but the cold air might help clear her head and she had to feed the chickens and the pigs.
As she walked, she suddenly remembered Max’s phone call when he’d asked her to take the booking. “One of them works with me,” he’d said. But none of them had mentioned they knew her husband. Why was that?