He stirs and lifts his head to face me. “Arianna … you’re awake?” he asks. Worry mars his handsome features as he pushes himself up on his elbow and strokes a strand of hair from my face.
“Yes, I’m awake … I think.”
I’m confused, I feel strange. I don’t understand why I’m lying in a hospital bed, and I can’t figure out what time of day it is.
“Are you okay? How do you feel?”
“I … I don’t know. I don’t …” My tongue catches on the roof of my mouth and I’m in desperate need of a drink. “Water …” I say hoarsely, unable to get any more words out.
He hops up and grabs a glass of water from the nightstand.
“Here,” he says, holding it to my mouth. I try and take the glass from him but I have little coordination. I sip enough to wet my mouth and as much as I don’t want to, I cry. The emotion is overwhelming and deep sobs catch in my chest.
“What happened, what’s wrong with me?” Everything is a jumble and no matter how hard I try, I can’t piece it all together.
“Shhhhh.” Denham places the glass back on the nightstand and pulls me into his arms. “You fell, Ari, you must have slipped and knocked yourself out, or blacked out …”
“I … I don’t remember anything,” I sob. I hate this. It’s a frightening feeling. I feel helpless and scared
.
What if he hadn’t found me? Of course he would have found me. I’m not alone now. He cares.
“We couldn’t wake you so we brought you straight here. Do you remember anything at all?”
I try. I try to remember any little detail that would start to set me straight.
“No, I …” I calm my racing head and take a deep breath, trying to let things come back. “I … don’t remember a thing.”
Blank, totally blank. I remember Spike interrupting us. I remember Denham leaving with him. Then … nothing.
“I can’t remember … I’m sorry,” I say
“It’s okay, Stunner. It’s not important. What’s important is that you’re okay,” he soothes. “I need to call the nurse; she’ll want to know you’re awake.”
He stands and presses the call bell above the bed, pulling me back into his arms and cradling my head in his hands.
“Ouch,” I wince, “My head.”
“My god, Ari, you have an egg sized lump on your head, you must have really hit the ground with a thud.”
I nod into his chest “My ribs hurt too … everything hurts,” I whisper sorrowfully. “Can we go home, please. I hate hospitals. I hate needles.”
He chuckles lightly, “Let’s just get you well enough to move around first, shall we?”
“How long have I been here? What time is it?” I ask, still confused.
“It’s mid-afternoon, just after two. We came late this morning. Beth called me to say she couldn’t get ahold of you and you hadn’t arrived there.”
“Beth?”
“Yes, do you remember, she messaged you this morning?”
I vaguely remember something along those lines but nothing definite.
The door opens and I pull my head out of Denham’s chest to see who it is. It’s the nurse, and that sudden movement makes me feel dizzy. I feel my head roll a little and Denham leans me back so my head is resting on the pillow.
“So, how are we doing in here?” She’s a large lady with a big voice, which reverberates through me, but she has a friendly smile and a demeanor to match.
Denham answers before I have time to think. “She’s in pain, is there something you can give her?” he asks anxiously.
“I’m sure she is,” she replies to Denham and then speaks directly to me. “You had quite a fall, young lady. Anything coming back to you?” She picks up the clipboard that is hooked on the bottom of the bed and studies it.
“No, nothing,” I answer sadly.
“Well, you’re badly concussed and we want to keep an eye on you for a little while longer, run some tests and just make sure you’re doing okay.”
“How long will the tests take? I want to go home. Can I please go home?”
She pats my hand, “As soon as we think you’re well enough, you can go. But right now it hurts you just to move that pretty head of yours, doesn’t it?”
“No, my head’s fine, honestly … I can even get out of—” I sit up and try to swing my legs over the side of the bed. It hurts, every part of my body screams at me to lay still, but I want to do it so that I can leave this cold, sterile place. Denham’s hand on my thigh stops me.
“She’ll rest, nurse, I’ll make sure of it,” Denham answers. I snap my head around to him and it takes a second for my eyes to catch up to the direction my head is pointing in. Once I’ve refocused, I scowl at him.
“Good. Now I don’t want you exerting yourself, okay? The more you rest, the quicker you’ll heal.” The nurse clicks a few buttons on the monitor that I’m wired up to and scribbles something down on her chart before hooking it back on the bottom of the bed. “I’ll send one of the nurses in with some pain meds, then if you’d like a hot drink, just ask.”
“Thank you, nurse,” Denham calls as she leaves the room. “Did you hear that? You’re to do as you’re told and stay put.”
“Thanks for nothing,” I grumble. “I hate these places, I want a bigger bed, and a view over the strip and …”
“You’re turning into a diva,” he chuckles. “We are not leaving here until you’re well enough, if you do as you’re told it won’t be long.”
I groan at his answer. Regardless that I know he’s right, I still don’t want to be here. So, I try a different approach.
“You know it’s not very private here …” I say with as much sass as I can while giving him my best ‘come to bed with me’ eyes. Which is probably not working considering how I feel right now. “I want to get naked in your bed and have—“
“Ari, no,” Denham interrupts, shaking his head at me. “That’s not going to work.”
I pout, like a petulant child. It doesn’t look like I have a chance of getting my own way, so I decide to take his advice, keep my mouth shut and hope that I recover quick enough to get out of here soon.
“Don’t sulk, Stunner. I want you out of here as much as you want to be out. But I don’t want to take any chances.” He drops his head and talks into his lap, “You scared me. Seeing you like that … It was …”
“I’m sorry. I’ll behave. It’s just … I don’t want to be here. The last time I was in a hospital it was for a very different reason and it doesn’t hold very good memories.”
“Your ex, Jonny? He put you in the hospital?” he asks softly, although the lines around his eyes harden and I can see it’s almost harder for him to hear than it is for me to recall. Years of detachment have left me feeling next to nothing when I replay events in my head.
“Yes. I was there for ten days.”
“Ten days?” he asks in disbelief, his voice rising with anger. “What the hell did he do to you, Ari?”
I take a deep breath before continuing. I’ve never told anyone all the details. “He lost it,” I say with a shrug of my shoulders. “He beat me nearly unconscious. I had a lot of broken bones and a punctured lung. He wanted to keep me there until the bruising had faded, so no one would know.” It is actually easier to talk about than I thought it would be. I don’t know if it’s because I’m telling someone who actually cares about me, or if the scars in my heart are finally starting to fade. Thinking about Jonny still makes me feel nervous, but only because of the fear he instilled in me for so many years. I’m not sure he could hurt me now. I feel stronger. Having someone genuinely willing to fight in my corner makes me feel like I can move on from that time in my life.
“No one can find him, Arianna. My contacts have turned over every stone and there’s no one to be found with that name. He’s more than likely moved on, and started somewhere new. You’re safe, I’ll keep you safe.”
I feel my whole body relax and it makes me realize how tense I’d been just recalling that last time I had seen
him
. It has affected me deeply. It’s always going to be there at the back of my mind, nagging, holding on to a little part of me. But instead of letting it ruin my life, I need to remember it, learn from it and move on. I’ve been blocking things out for too long. Trying to detach from anything or anyone that might make me feel, that I’ve stopped living. I had stopped seeing the good and tried to ignore the bad. Which left me in no man’s land, a gray world. It wasn’t until Aaron hit me, that I realized how miserable I was in a life that wasn’t mine. Who knows how long it would have taken me to see this clearly? If I hadn’t met Denham, I might have still been living in a black and white world, thinking I had a grip on reality but really I was just running from the truth.
“I’m sorry,” I say.
“Ari, why are you sorry?” he asks, confused.
I shrug, “Because that must have been hard for you to hear.”
“Goodness, Arianna, will you just think of
you
for once? Say what you need to say. Do what you need to do. If you want someone to listen to you, I’m here.”
“I know, but—“
“No buts, okay?” he says, raising his brows at me and taking my hand gently between both of his. “It makes me want to break bones and torture him to hear you say things like that, but I want you to be able to talk to me … about anything.”
“Thank you for listening”
“No need to thank me.”
“Okay, then thank you for being so lovely to me.”
“Stunner …”
“Look, I know I come with a lot of baggage and a ton of crazy. You didn’t have to—”
“I’m gonna stop you right there,” he says, standing and placing his hands gently on either side of my face. “It is what it is,” he says simply before placing a gentle lingering kiss on my parched lips. The fact that my skin is so dry really makes me aware of just how soft and perfect his mouth feels. I close my eyes, and his kiss travels through the whole of my body. When he pulls away, I keep my eyes closed, mesmerized by the warm sensations firing off in all directions.
I’ve probably only been awake for a maximum of ten minutes and already I feel like I’ve been up for endless days. I know I need more rest and regardless of the fact that I don’t want to be here in this hospital, I’m here with Denham and that makes everything feel okay.
“Please rest, Ari,” Denham says quietly, noticing my weariness.
“I’ll rest if you will …”
“Fine, you first.”
“No.”
“Arianna …” he warns, fully expecting me to be difficult.
“I want you in my bed.” I hold up a finger quickly before he interrupts. “Just climb on and cuddle with me, please?”
He looks at me half confused, half exasperated.
“I won’t try anything, I promise,” I insist, holding up my hands in surrender. “I just want you close. I’ll rest better with you next to me”
“You’re impossible,” he grumbles.
I shrug, “I know.”
He shakes his head at me, all the while trying to suppress a grin. He pulls back the cotton sheet that’s covering me and it’s the first time that I’ve noticed that I’m wearing only a pair of boy shorts and one of Denham’s tees. I really wish I could remember what happened but perhaps it’ll all come back to me with time.
Denham lowers the backrest down and lies on his side. He cradles my head in the crook of his arm and strokes my hair gently with the tips of his fingers.
“Rest, Ari,” he whispers against my hair. I let my heavy eyes close and feel content at the sound of his steady heartbeat.
I sleep. Denham sleeps. I don’t know how long we sleep for but we are both woken with a jump at the sound of his phone echoing around the room. He fumbles to reach it on the nightstand and pulls it to his ear.
“King,” he announces before listening to the person on the end of the line. I can hear someone talking but can’t make out who it is and what they are saying. “Yes, I call you back. Give me five.” He hangs up abruptly.
“Is everything okay?” I ask
“Yes, just something I need to sort out. I’m sorry it woke you. How do you feel?”
“I actually feel pretty good … considering.”
“Can I get you anything?”
“I really need to pee …”
“Okay, let me help you.”
“No!” I squeak, mortified at the thought of Denham seeing me in the bathroom. “I don’t need help I just need to get unhooked from these damn machines.”
“Your drip is on wheels, Ari.” Denham says, laughing under his breath. “I’ll take you to the bathroom.”
“I don’t want you to,” I say insistently.
“Arianna, don’t be such a baby. I’ve seen you in all your magnificent naked glory.” He strokes my cheek and whispers, “I even know how you taste …” His breath fans across my skin and provokes my senses. That one little sentence has me all kinds of flustered. I can hardly remember what we were talking about.
Oh yes, I want to pee. But, I most certainly do not want him to take me. There are things a girl needs to do by herself and this is one of them. I mean, what happens if I don’t just need to pee? What do I do then?
“Just help me off the bed, I’ll be fine, I promise.”
“No, Arianna. Stop being so damn stubborn, will you? You haven’t stood upright for a little over six hours. I am not letting you go to the bathroom on your own. What happens if you lose your balance or black out?”
I hadn’t even thought about that … but I still do not want him to see me in the bathroom like that.
“Fine,” I grumble. “Please call me a nurse … and before you try to insist that you’ll take me, I don’t want you to … Just…” I sigh, “…please.”
“Fine,” he concedes. “But just so you know, nothing could make me want you any less.”
“There are just some things a girl has to do … in private,” I say quietly.
Denham presses the call bell and at the same time his cell blares through the room, again. He glances at the screen and shakes his head. “I’m gonna have to take this, Stunner. Do not get out of bed until the nurse comes,” he orders, looking at me pointedly before leaving the room and closing the door quietly behind him.
I’ve never been one for doing as I’m told and I manage to wriggle my way to the edge of the bed and dangle my feet while I wait for the nurse. I mean, how busy do these guys get here? Should I just go on my own? I can’t wait. The more I think about it the more I need to pee. Denham could be a while after all. He said I’d been here for six hours already. Is that right? He has a business to run and he’s spent the day by my side while I was unconscious. It’s no wonder there are people calling him. He probably has endless calls to return and he wouldn’t even know if I just slipped out and slipped back in again. My feet swing faster as the thoughts run through my head and I mentally explore my options. The longer I deliberate, the closer it gets to him coming back so I slide off the side of the hospital bed very carefully, transferring the weight onto my feet gently and testing my ability to stand. There, that isn’t too bad … I just have to make it over to the other side of the room and into the bathroom and I can sit down again. God, I want to sit down again, my head is starting to pound. Maybe this was a bad idea. My legs are shaking like a newborn lamb and I’m not sure how much longer they are gonna hold out. I make it three tentative steps before the drip is tugging at my hand and I remember that I’m attached.