Her Rugged Rancher (6 page)

Glancing across the table, she saw his blue eyes thoughtfully studying her face and immediately she could feel a rush of heat fill her cheeks.

“I don't recall your father ever visiting the ranch. And Jett never mentions him.”

“It's been years since our father has been near Carson City. Once in a while I get a phone call from him. Or Jett will receive a letter in the mail. The last he heard, Dad was promising to come see his grandkids. So far that hasn't happened.”

He looked confused. “So you still speak with your father?”

She smiled faintly. “Why not? We understand he's a wandering musician. If we'd tried to hold him here, he would've been miserable. And that wouldn't have done our mother or us kids much good. As long as he's playing in a band somewhere, he's happy. I think it took Jett a lot longer than me to accept our father's indifference. But having Sassy to love has made my brother look at things from a more understanding perspective. Some people just march to a different drummer and our father is one of them.”

He reached for the bag of chips and poured a pile onto his plate. “Must be nice not to resent the man.”

She shook her head. “I could never resent him. He was always a very loving man. He still loves us—in his own way. And that's what matters the most to me.”

“It's clear we see things in a different way, Bella. If I ever had the misfortune to run into my old man again, I'd take great pleasure in busting him in the mouth.”

The hard bitter look on his face struck Bella far more than his words. The fact that he was harboring such anger and resentment toward anyone, much less his father, surprised her. Especially when she'd heard Jett describe how kindly and gently he treated every animal on the ranch. But she had to remember he'd not been as fortunate as she and Jett. They'd had a very loving mother, who'd worked hard to make sure her children had a normal home. From what Noah had told her, he'd not even had that much.

Not wanting to sound preachy, she simply said, “I'm sorry, Noah.”

“Yeah. I'm sorry, too.”

They finished the meal with only a few exchanges of small talk. Afterward, Bella helped him clear the table and wash what few dishes they'd used. As the two of them moved around the small space, an awkward tension began to build and she decided it was probably time for her to say goodbye.

With the last plate dried and put away in the cabinet, she folded the dish towel she'd been using and placed it on the end of the cabinet counter. “Thanks for the meal, Noah. I think I'd better be getting Casper back home before it gets dark.”

She expected to see a look of relief cross his face. Instead, his expression remained stoic, making it impossible to discern his reaction to her announcement.

Who are you trying to kid, Bella? His reaction is as clear as a cloudless day. He could've offered you coffee or pointed out that the evening was still young, anything to invite you to stay longer. Face it, he's had all of your company he can stand.

Bella was trying to ignore the insulting voice going off in her head, when Noah said, “Right. It wouldn't do for you to meet up with a bear or mountain lion in the dark.”

As far as Bella was concerned, he was much more dangerous to her well-being than any wild animal. Because she was drawn to him in ways she couldn't quite understand. She only knew that being in his presence quenched a need deep inside her.

She moved to the open doorway, then paused. “I keep a little bear bell tied to my saddle horn. The jingle helps ward away any predators.” Now that she thought about it, the little tinkling bell was probably the sound that he'd heard when she'd first ridden up on Casper.

He hardly looked impressed by her safety measures, but he didn't say anything and Bella quickly stepped out of the cabin and walked over to Casper.

She was untying the get-down rope from the tree limb when she sensed Noah walking up behind her. The fact that he'd followed her out of the cabin surprised her and as soon as the rope fell loose, she turned a questioning look at him.

A frown was on his face and his gaze connected with hers for only a brief moment before it dropped to the ground. He said, “Before you go there's something I need to say.”

Her heart was suddenly pounding with foolish hope. Maybe he had enjoyed her company after all, she thought. Maybe he was going to tell her he'd like to see her again.

“Yes?” she asked.

His gaze returned to hers and she gave him an encouraging smile.

He cleared his throat. “I—uh, just wanted to say it was nice having you here.”

She couldn't remember the last time a man's words had filled her with such warm pleasure. “I enjoyed it very much, too, Noah.”

A frown pulled his brows together and as he swiped a hand through his thick hair, it became clear to Bella that he was carefully trying to choose what he was going to say next. Could it be he was trying to decide how best to ask her out on a date? It was crazy how much she wanted that to happen.

Finally he said, “Look, Bella, you're a nice lady. And I have to be honest with you. I—well, I would appreciate it if you wouldn't do this again.”

Certain she must have heard him wrong, her head moved stiffly back and forth. “This? What are you talking about?”

The confusion in her voice only seemed to frustrate him more and he raked a hand over his black hair as his eyes evaded meeting hers.

“Coming here to the cabin—my home.”

The direct meaning of his words hit her so hard she felt like someone had whammed a fist to her stomach.

“Oh.” Pain spread through her chest as she quickly turned back to Casper and began to tighten the saddle cinch. Oh, Lord, she'd made a giant fool of herself, but strangely that wasn't the reason for her pain. No, it was the fact that he was so callously rejecting her. “Guess I've made a pest of myself. Sorry.”

She'd fastened the end of the latigo neatly in its holder and was backing the horse away from the tree in order to mount him, when Noah spoke again.

“It's not that, Bella. It's—just for the best. Can we leave it at that?”

She supposed she should have felt embarrassed. After all, she couldn't remember any time in her life when a man had so bluntly spurned her. Even Marcus with all his cheating and lies had vowed he loved her and had desperately tried to hang on to her. Even her old boss, who'd recently gotten married, had liked Bella as a person. But for some reason, Noah just flat-out wanted no part of her. The realization made her want to cry, or scream. She didn't know which. In the end she chose to do neither.

“Sure, Noah. You don't have to explain. I apologize for making a nuisance of myself and ruining your evening. Don't worry. It won't happen again.”

Not daring to look at him, she crossed the split reins over Casper's neck and started to lift the toe of her boot to the stirrup when Noah's hand suddenly wrapped around her elbow.

Insulted even more, she shrugged his hold away. “Thank you,” she said stiffly, “but I don't need help getting into the saddle.”

To her surprise, he wrapped his hand around her upper arm and she twisted her head to look at him. His blue eyes were partially hidden beneath the scowl of his brows, but there was a fire, a glint of life in them that she'd not seen before.

“I know I'm not the sort of gentleman that you rub shoulders with, but I do have manners, Bella.”

She'd never been a mean-spirited person, but she did have her pride, even though he was trying his best to crush it.

“Really?” she asked, her voice etched with sarcasm. “Well, if you had, good manners would have been telling me that you enjoyed my company—even though you didn't.”

She expected him to drop his hold on her arm and move aside, but he clearly had other ideas. He tugged her around to face him and Bella's knees went weak as his steely blue gaze grabbed on to hers.

“Don't twist my words, Bella. I didn't say anything about not enjoying your company.”

“But you just said—”

“I don't want you back up here. I know what I said. And I meant it.”

No man had ever shaken Bella as much as Noah had at this very moment. There was something about his dark, brooding presence that reminded her of a stormy night, when shutters slammed and every shadow seemed to lurk with hidden dangers. And yet just to have him touch her was wildly exciting.

“Why?” she asked quietly.

“You little fool,” he muttered. “Don't you have it figured out by now?”

“No. I—”

Before she could finish, he yanked her forward and straight into his arms. The shock caused her to drop her hold on Casper's rein and the horse moved a few steps away.

“Then I need to make it clear. I can't have you around me. Not when I want to do this.”

She watched in fascination as his face dipped toward hers. Then his lips made contact with hers and instantly her eyes squeezed shut, her breath caught in her throat.

Noah was kissing her!

For a split second the fact was so shocking she couldn't think or react. Then just as quickly pleasure exploded inside her, causing her arms to wrap around his neck, the front of her body to press tightly against his.

Ever since he'd stopped on the side of the road to help her, she'd been dreaming of kissing him, tasting his lips and having his strong arms wrapped around her. Now, reality was proving to be a thousand times more potent and far more delicious than anything she could've conjured up in her mind.

As the kiss went on, Bella could feel herself sinking into a pool of liquid pleasure and it didn't matter that she was in danger of losing her breath. She didn't want the bliss to end.

But just as suddenly as the kiss had started, it ended with Noah tearing his lips from hers. The break did little to stop her reeling senses and she was forced to hang on to his shoulders to steady herself.

“You see now why I can't have you near me?”

The gruff rasp of his voice caused her eyelids to flutter open and she found herself staring directly into his eyes. At the moment the blue orbs were dark and stormy, but whether that was a result of anger or passion, she couldn't tell.

“Oh, Noah,” she whispered. “I—”

Before she could say anything else, he turned and moved a few steps from her. Bella wiped a shaky hand over her face, then walked over to stand at his side.

“I don't understand,” she finally managed to say.

He let out a short, caustic laugh. “You think I do? Ever since I first laid eyes on you I've been wanting to do that. Stupid of me, huh?”

The trembling that had started on the inside of her during their kiss had now pushed its way to the outside, making her hands shake and her voice quaver. “I've been wanting to do that ever since I laid eyes on you, too. Does that make me stupid, too?”

A tight grimace twisted his features. “No. It makes you a liar.”

Bella stepped in front of him and stabbed him with an angry look. “You can call me bold or forward or unladylike, but don't call me a liar. That's one thing I'm not.”

“Then you must be a hypocrite. Jett says you had a crush on your old boss—that you still do. He's the one you've had ideas about kissing. Not me!”

Doing her best to hang on to her temper, she said, “Jett doesn't know what he's talking about. I never had a crush on Curtis. Not while I worked as a paralegal in his law office or after I left it. I admired him for many reasons and even thought he'd make a good husband—but I could see he wasn't meant for me.”

Bella couldn't go on to explain that being around Curtis had never filled her head with erotic images. She'd never pictured herself making wild, passionate love to the man, the way she had with Noah. But those secret fantasies were far too intimate to share with this man.

Shaking his head, he glanced toward Casper, and Bella followed the direction of his attention. Thankfully the horse had been trained not to run away. At the moment he was happily tearing at the tufts of grass growing in scattered patches over the rocky ground.

“Forget I mentioned anything about the man,” Noah muttered gruffly. “Who you have your eye set on is none of my business. Unless you try to make me your target. So before you make your play, you need to know that I'm not about to let anything develop between us. Not now. Not ever.”

Bella proudly lifted her chin. “Then why did you kiss me?”

“That was my way of explaining the situation.”

She refrained from rolling her eyes toward the treetops. “It sure didn't feel like a demonstration, explanation, or anything of the sort. It felt like an old-fashioned kiss—the kind two people with mutual attraction share. And if you could be totally honest with me, you'd admit that you want to do it again. I do.”

His jaws clamped so tight Bella figured his back teeth were probably in danger of crumbling beneath the pressure.

Turning his gaze back to her, he said, “Bella, I'm sorry, but I don't have the luxury of playing games with the opposite sex. Especially when the games could become dangerous.”

“I would've never guessed you could be such an ass, Noah Crawford,” she said in a low, angry voice. “But I should've known. It's no wonder you live such a solitary life. There's no one around here worthy of your presence!”

With tears threatening to fall, she hurried over to Casper and swung herself into the saddle. Yet before she could kick the horse into a gallop, Noah was there, reaching up and dragging her out of the saddle.

Bella practically fell into his arms and she was forced to grab hold of his shoulders to keep from sliding down the front of his body.

She gasped with shock. “Noah! What—are you—doing?”

“I'm doing what both of us want!”

The words came out on a fierce growl and then he was kissing her again. Only this time the meeting of their mouths instantly turned into a frenetic search that lasted so long Bella was certain she was going to faint.