Read Her Rebel Heart Online

Authors: Shannon Farrington

Her Rebel Heart (6 page)

She took a seat beside her mother and father and waited. The room was hushed with reverent stillness. She tried to use the time to rein in her focus, to think about what she was really here for.

After a few moments her emotions stilled. As the hands on her father'€™s pocket watch neared twelve, Julia heard the sounds of footsteps and polite whispers. Curious, she discreetly glanced about.

To her surprise, the attendance was growing. There were people seated that she did not know. Sally and her father were there as well.

She smiled at Julia.

More people have come! Oh, thank You, Lord.

Reverend Perry stepped to the pulpit and began the service. "€œPlease turn to hymn number sixty in your
Christian Songster.
"€

Julia stood with the others. A gentleman that she did not recognize readied the pipe organ and the singing began.

I want to have wisdom that comes from above,

I want my heart filled with the purest of love;

I want my faith stronger, my anchor hope sure,

And like a good soldier, all hardness endure.

As the lines from the stanza passed out of her mouth she thought of Edward. What hardness was he now enduring? She prayed God would give him strength.

I want to be stripped of all human pride,

All malice and anger, I would lay aside;

From sin and from bondage I want to be free,

And live, my dear Savior, live only to Thee.

Julia meant the words she sang. Truly she did. But how to go about implementing them, she was not sure.

Lord, help me act in a way that pleases You. I want to do Your will.

When the hymn was over Reverend Perry read a few requests. There were several members who wished to pray for the salvation of their loved ones. As Julia listened to the heartfelt pleas ascending around her, both her heart and conscience were stirred. She, too, wanted to show Christian love, concern for her fellow countrymen.

Show me what to do. Show me how I may honor and serve You.

The congregation prayed for about an hour. When the meeting concluded the members broke into groups, visiting momentarily before departing. Sally came to see her.

"€œJulia, will you come? The Reverend wishes to speak with us."€

"€œOh? What about?"€

"€œI don'€™t know. He only said it was important."€

Julia followed her to the front of the church where Reverend Perry was waiting. He smiled broadly.

"€œLadies, thank you for coming. The service is growing."€

"€œIndeed,"€ Sally remarked.

"€œI was reminded today, though, that there are others who may wish to join and yet cannot do so. Others still who may be afraid of entering the church. I wondered if you would be interested in an avenue of service."€

"€œCertainly,"€ Julia said. The Lord was obviously answering her prayer. She just didn'€™t know yet where He was leading.

The Reverend explained that he wished to demon
strate Christ'€™s love to the citizens of Baltimore in a simple, practical way. "€œTo those who pass by on the street."€

"€œYou mean like a cup of cold water?"€ Sally asked.

"€œYes!"€ he said enthusiastically. "€œOr perhaps a slice of bread and jam? I know for a fact that each of you bakes wonderful bread."€

The women looked at each other and smiled.

"€œWe can set up a table by the sidewalk and distribute the items. Hopefully we can draw people inside the church. And you ladies would not be unattended. You would be properly chaperoned. Can I count on your assistance?"€

It sounded like everything she was looking for. It was a simple way to show kindness to the people of her city, to help brighten the darkness this war had brought.

And if we are to be chaperoned I need not worry about Federal soldiers.

"€œOf course,"€ Julia said. Sally pledged to serve, as well.

"€œWonderful,"€ said Reverend Perry. "€œHere is what we will do."€

He determined a time to meet and the ladies decided what baked goods they would bring. "€œI will have one of our gentlemen furnish a table and fill the water barrels."€

Julia was pleased. If there was one thing she could do well, it was bake bread and make jam. No politics or disagreements could invade.

Chapter Five

S
am had promised Julia that he would not visit her home or sit in her family pew, but that would not keep him from serving the Lord. When Reverend Perry asked for his assistance with the bread table, he could hardly say no.

He had found a table in the cellar, then carried it to the edge of the churchyard. He gathered the water barrels and filled them high.

While he worked, he prayed. He prayed for his city, his seminary and his best friend. But, above all, he prayed for Julia.

Lord, You know I love her and I still believe You mean for us to be together. I want to do Your will. I want Julia to find Your will for her life. But if that means we must go our separate ways, then please give me the strength to accept Your plan.

He wondered how she would respond when she found out they would be working together. He hoped the interaction would lead to opportunities to prove that his intentions were good.

Give me the words to say to her, Lord, and the grace to respond as You would.


Julia had baked two loaves of bread and turned the mashed strawberries from the market into mouthwatering jam. As she prepared for the prayer meeting that day, an excitement pulsed through her veins. It was a feeling she had not experienced since before the beginning of the war.

Lord, thank You for this opportunity. Thank You for giving me a way to make a difference.

She arrived at church well before noon. The table was ready and the water barrels were waiting.

"€œIt appears everything has been prepared,"€ her father said.

"€œIndeed."€ With eagerness, Julia set her tray of bread and jam on the table.

Her father peered into one of the barrels. "€œThey are filled to the brim."€

"€œThat is good."€

They would need to be. The day was going to be warm. The late May sunshine was strong. Already heat rose in ripples from the cobblestone.

Sally and her father pulled up in their surrey at that moment. She hurried to where Julia was waiting. She, too, looked eager to begin.

"€œI made lemon tea bread,"€ she said.

"€œWonderful!"€ said Julia. "€œEveryone that passes by will want a slice."€

"€œI do hope so."€

The traffic on the street, both foot and carriage, was light, yet the women knew it would increase once the noon bell rang.

"€œJulia, you have no cups or ladles,"€ Mrs. Stanton noticed. "€œI'€™ll fetch them."€

"€œAnd I'€™ll see to it that the gentleman scheduled to assist you knows that you both have arrived,"€ her father said. "€œThank you."€

Her parents climbed the church steps. The moment the front door shut, Sally reached into her pocket.

"€œBefore someone else joins us'€¦I have news. Stephen sent a letter."€

Julia gasped, immediately abandoning the bread and jam. It was the first communication that they'€™d had with their loved ones since their departure. "€œWhen did it arrive?"€

Sally handed it over. "€œThis morning. They are in Virginia, although he did not say exactly where."€

"€œThey don'€™t want to take any chances on the information falling into the wrong hands."€ Julia unfolded the letter carefully. Stephen wrote of regimental drilling and of Virginia farmland hospitality. Her heart then soared. "€œHe is with Edward!"€

"€œYes,"€ Sally said happily. "€œTent mates. Isn'€™t that wonderful?"€

"€œIndeed."€

When Stephen mentioned chess matches and Edward'€™s snoring, Julia had to laugh. "€œI am so pleased that they are together."€

"€œYes. They can look out for one another. Oh, Julia, I was so relieved to hear from him. I pray that you will hear from Edward soon."€

"€œYou must promise to bring the letter to me as soon as it arrives."€

"€œI will. You have my word."€

Julia smiled. "€œI cannot wait to tell Mother and Father."€

The church door creaked. She quickly gave back the precious news and Sally slipped it in her pocket.

My brother is safe,
Julia thought.
Thank You, Lord.


Sam drew in a deep breath and started down the steps. Sally saw him before Julia did.

"€œSamuel!"€ she said, smiling with pleasant surprise. "€œAre you assisting us today?"€

"€œI am."€

Julia turned, her face draining of all color. He wanted to laugh. He couldn'€™t help it. She looked as though she had just been caught in a traitorous act. Sam decided to make it known that he had seen the letter. After all, he too was eager for news.

"€œHave you heard from Edward?"€ he asked casually as he placed the box of tin cups on the table.

She blinked, blue eyes wide and uncertain. "€œYes. Well, from Stephen. Sally did, that is."€

He wondered why she felt it necessary to state Stephen Hastings had not written her
personally
. He took it as a hopeful sign.

"€œAre they both well?"€ He asked.

"€œYes."€

"€œGood. I am pleased to hear that."€

Sam wanted to act as if there was no division between them, as if Edward and Stephen had simply gone on a fishing trip and would return in a matter of days. He smiled at her.

Julia'€™s face was still as pale as a winter moon.

Sally, on the other hand, was grinning, a conniving expression at that. Sam figured she knew all that had taken place. Julia always told her everything. By the look on her face, Sam guessed Sally was still on his side.

"€œWhat kind of bread did you bring?"€ he asked evenly.

Julia gestured toward the loaf on the table and absentmindedly mentioned strawberry jam.

"€œShe made it yesterday,"€ Sally added.

"€œFresh jam,"€ he said. "€œThat will bring the people in droves."€

"€œThat is what we are hoping for, isn'€™t it, Julia?"€

She nodded politely then gracefully moved to the far end of the table, placing Sally between them.


The noon bells chimed and as anticipated, the street traffic increased. Many people stopped by the church table out of curiosity.

It was a wonderful sight to see'€”yet Julia moved about in a daze, feeling out of place and ineffective.

Samuel ladled out the water and Sally smiled sweetly as she offered each person something to eat. The pair invited everyone to join those in the sanctuary for prayer.

Most declined.

"€œOh, I'€™m on my way to such and such,"€ they would say, "€œbut thank you."€

Undaunted, Sally responded politely in kind, promising to pray for the person'€™s well-being. No one chaffed at her promise. They thanked her for her kindness.

Julia envied her. Sally was lifting heavy spirits, showing God'€™s love. She was doing what Julia longed to do.

As for Samuel, a smile filled his face and his voice held its usual warmth. Little children giggled at the jokes he made. Laborers going about their tasks stopped to ask him to pray for specific requests.

"€œMy cousin'€™s joined up. Pray he will come home safe when all is said and done."€

He would do so on the spot. Samuel never mentioned politics; he just offered a simple prayer for the one in need or the loved one they had mentioned. The person then usually went away with a smile.

A cloudless sky stretched over them. His hair shone reddish-brown in the midday sun. Julia marveled at the
effect he was having on others until she thought better of it.
More is needed than prayer. Even Jesus told his disciples at one point if they didn'€™t have a sword to sell their cloaks and buy one.

Time marched on. The bonnet covering her head was beginning to feel like a bread oven. Though the emerald green dress she wore was made of light silk, the fabric clung to her uncomfortably. She took out her lace handkerchief and blotted her face. There was a lull in the traffic and Samuel mentioned Edward.

"€œDid your brothers say where they are camping?"€ he asked.

"€œIndirectly,"€ Sally innocently answered. "€œThey are in'€”"€

Julia quickly caught her best friend'€™s arm. What was Sally thinking; ready to report Edward and Stephen'€™s activities to him?

"€œThey have gone south,"€ Julia said.

"€œYes,"€ he chuckled. "€œI suppose they would."€

His lightheartedness was infuriating. "€œWhat do you find so amusing?"€ she asked.

"€œForgive me,"€ he said, though still chuckling. "€œIt was the look on your face, just now. Don'€™t worry, Julia, I have no intention of reporting your letters or your brother'€™s activities to the Provost Marshal."€

His promise gave little comfort. "€œThen what are your intentions?"€ she wanted to know.

"€œThe same as yours. I would like to send Edward a letter."€

Her anger brewed. Her head felt even hotter. "€œAnd just what would you say to him, Samuel? Would you condemn his actions? Would you argue your so-called abolitionist views?"€

Her emotions had gotten the better of her. She had
raised her voice. Samuel looked embarrassed. Sally did, as well. Her face was three shades of red.

A woman with a baby carriage and two small youngsters had approached the table. Julia felt her own embarrassment rising. She tried to remember why she was here, the mission of kindness she had undertaken. But as Samuel took her hand and steered her to the nearby maple tree, all thoughts of Christian charity evaporated.

"€œJulia, I have nothing against your brother. I pray daily for his safety."€

"€œBut not his victory,"€ she said.

"€œI pray that God'€™s will, that right, will prevail."€

"€œRight will prevail? I suppose that means the Federal Army?"€

"€œI didn'€™t say that."€

"€œYou have by your actions."€

"€œYou have misinterpreted them."€

"€œHave I?"€

He stepped closer, his brown eyes full of intensity. "€œI would give my life for you, for your family if necessary."€

"€œWould you?"€ she scoffed. "€œWhere were you the night my brother tried to keep the army from invading this city? Where were you when those soldiers approached me yesterday at the market?"€


Sam'€™s heart filled his throat and the hair on the back of his neck stood up. Julia'€™s jaw was clenched but the emotion in her eyes had shifted from anger to fear.

"€œWhat soldiers? What happened to you?"€

"€œThey were watching me as I was shopping. They asked if I needed help with my basket."€

It was obvious that she thought the men had been insincere in their offers of assistance. She looked him
full in the face. All her anxieties were openly displayed. His heart ached for her and without thinking, he took her hand in his.

"€œWhat did you say to them?"€

Her fingers were trembling. Her voice was, as well. "€œI told them no thank you and then I ran away as quickly as I could."€

"€œDid they follow you home?"€

"€œNo. I made certain of that."€

He had feared such things from the Federal occupation and much worse. The troops were here to keep the peace, to preserve the Union. But at what cost? The memory of what they had done on Pratt Street still made his blood boil, and the thought of one of them harming Julia'€”or any lady of this city'€”made him want to pick up a musket and join the Confederate ranks.

But Sam knew that wasn'€™t the way. "€œMy sabbatical from teaching is a blessing,"€ he said. "€œNext time I will go with you to the market. That way there won'€™t be any trouble."€

He lost her on the word
blessing.
She pulled back her hand.

"€œThe Federal Army is in no way, shape or form a blessing, Samuel. And do not bother to grace me with your presence. My brother will see to it that those soldiers are removed from Baltimore."€

She whirled about on her heel and hurried for the front steps. Sam started to go after her but the church doors had opened and people were exiting the building.

The hour for prayer and reconciliation had ended.


Julia got as far as the back pew and then froze. She knew she had behaved horribly. Her guilt came crash
ing over her in suffocating waves the moment she saw Reverend Perry.

He smiled at her then immediately strode up the aisle.

"€œJulia, my dear, did you have many visitors to the table?"€

His hope-filled tone heaped burning coals upon her head. The purpose of the day was to show compassion to lost and burdened souls, not to argue with Samuel.

Oh, Lord, forgive me.
Had it not been for Sally, not a single passerby would have received a kind word. She did not let herself think of the kindness Sam had shown to passersby, as well.

"€œSally spoke with many people today,"€ Julia told the Reverend. "€œAnd many asked for prayer."€

Reverend Perry'€™s smile broadened. "€œWonderful! I knew I could count on the two of you. Will you serve again tomorrow?"€

Julia could feel the heat in her cheeks. She wasn'€™t worthy to attend to the duty but she felt she had to make up for the disaster of today. "€œI will serve graciously,"€ she promised. "€œYou have my word."€

He patted her arm in a fatherly way, then moved on to speak with another member of the congregation.

Julia sighed. Turning for the front door, she knew exactly what she must do. She had to apologize to Sally.

Her best friend stepped into the foyer at that very moment.

"€œI am sorry,"€ Julia blurted out immediately. "€œPlease forgive me."€

Sally pulled her toward the belfry. Once inside, she shut the door behind them. Gold dust rays shone through cracks and crevices above them.

"€œI forgive you,"€ Sally said, "€œbut I must tell you that I believe you are making a mistake with Sam."€

Julia'€™s back stiffened. She wanted to make things right for her unchristian behavior but she did not wish to discuss what had driven her to such in the first place. "€œSally'€¦"€

"€œHe loves you. It is written all over his face. Despite your differences I believe he is willing to compromise, to work things out."€

Julia shook her head. Compromise wasn'€™t possible. "€œHe says he would give his life for me but I don'€™t believe him."€

"€œIf I were you, I would be thankful he hasn'€™t proven that."€

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