Authors: Jennifer Lewis
“We can’t. You’re leaving soon.”
“Not that soon.” He’d be here for at least two weeks. On the other hand, maybe that was no time at all to her. He wasn’t too sure of Omani dating customs. It was probably customary for them to glance at each other across the stalls of a souk for nine months before a single word was exchanged.
But she was wearing jeans and a khaki T-shirt and looked like an American today. Even the lush green hillside with its winding, rocky trails looked like somewhere in the Ozarks. He didn’t care where they were. All he knew was that he needed to keep her here. If he drove her home now he’d never see her again. “Let’s climb higher so we can look down on the eagles. Maybe we’ll even see their nests.”
“I don’t think that’s a good idea.” Her dark eyes wide, she looked so confused he just wanted to take her in his arms.
“Of course it is. We’re grown adults and we can do anything we set our minds to.” He scanned the horizon, hoping for an impressive eagle, or at least some rare sparrow to distract her with.
“I don’t know what came over me. I haven’t kissed anyone since...since...”
“Your marriage?”
She nodded. A furrow formed between her elegant brows. “I didn’t think I’d ever want to kiss someone again.”
He smiled. “And then you did.”
He heard her inhale. “It was a mistake.”
“I should take that as an insult.” Her whole body was so tense he could tell she was deadly serious, but still he wanted to lighten the mood.
“It’s not you, it’s me.”
“You’re a lovely woman. You’re single, or at least so you’ve told me. What’s wrong with you enjoying a kiss?”
“I am single.” She looked shocked that he’d called that into question. “And believe me, I am not looking to get into a relationship ever again.”
He wanted to quip that she’d found the right man for that—relationships were not his strong point—but he restrained himself. “Just because it didn’t work out with one man, doesn’t mean you shouldn’t ever enjoy romance again.”
“Yes, it does.” She hugged herself as a breeze ruffled the trees. “Can we leave now?” Her eyes implored him.
“I guess we could start walking back toward the car.” It was a good twenty minutes away. Hopefully he could win her around by then. “Why are you so afraid of another relationship?”
She walked ahead of him. “Being part of a couple turned me into someone else.”
“How?” He walked faster to catch up with her.
“I lost myself. I became the person he shaped me into. The weak and useless person he despised.” He saw her shoulders shiver.
“You didn’t become that person. He just made you feel that way. Was he abusive?”
“Not physically. He never hit me.” Her voice was very quiet. “He didn’t do much at all. I became a victim so easily. I gave up my career, gave up my friends, stopped doing everything I enjoyed and turned into the nobody he wanted to hate.” Gravel scattered at her feet as she hurried along the loose surface of the trail, over tree roots and around rocks. At this rate they’d be back at the car in less than ten minutes.
“He sounds like a jackass.”
She stopped and turned around. “Yes. He was a jackass. I can see that now, but at the time I thought it was me. I lost all perspective on my own life. You can see how I don’t want to get myself into a situation like that again.”
“You won’t. You just had the bad luck to give your heart, and your trust, to someone who didn’t deserve it. Most men aren’t anything like that.”
“Aren’t they?” A pained expression flickered across her face. “My father thinks I’m a fool.”
“Then you need to get away from him, too.”
“I can’t. I have no job and very little money. The divorce lawyers took almost everything I had left, which wasn’t much. We didn’t have any assets to split and I didn’t want alimony as it would have given my ex-husband a hold over me when I needed a complete break. With my—as both my father and ex-husband pointed out—useless career, I’m not likely to make money anytime soon.” Tears rose in her eyes. “I guess I planned my life like a fairy tale, where I’d live my dreams surrounded by art and love. I was stupid.”
She turned and started walking again, batting branches away from her face, descending the trail so fast he worried she’d slip on the loose gravel.
Quasar’s chest swelled with pity. Which annoyed him. She didn’t want pity. He hurried after her. “You had a job at Princeton. That’s the epitome of success.”
“And I gave it up because it interfered with me being home to vacuum the carpets. Obviously I didn’t deserve it.”
He grabbed her arm. “What kind of pity party is this? You need to turn your life around, not whine about it.”
She’d stiffened at his grip, and now she tried to tug her arm away. Then a sob emerged from her throat, like the sound a wounded animal would make. “I know. I know! I hate myself.”
Remorse clutched at his heart. Had he added to her sorrows by insulting her like the men who’d tried to crush her? “I didn’t mean to hurt you. I’m just upset to see an intelligent and capable—and very beautiful—woman selling herself so short. You have an amazing amount of potential and you should tap into it.”
Her eyes were bright with tears. “I know I do. I don’t know what’s wrong with me.”
“Nothing’s wrong with you.” He’d softened his grip on her arm, but didn’t let go. He couldn’t shake the feeling that she’d run away if he did. “You need to believe that. And a good start would be to look around at the incredible beauty surrounding us and let yourself appreciate it for a moment.”
She blinked, and a small tear rolled quietly down her cheek. She looked up and he saw the sky reflected in her gaze. A dark shape darted across her pupil: the flickering outline of a bird high above. He turned and watched a kestrel circling over them. “Careful,” he whispered. “Don’t show any weakness or he might come eat us.”
A smile tugged at her sad mouth. “We’d be awfully big bites.”
“And I’ll protect you with my bare hands.” He lifted the one that wasn’t holding her upper arm.
“You have very capable hands for a businessman.”
“I play sports.”
“Oh.” She glanced at his body. A flash of awareness jumped inside him. He hoped she felt it, too.
“So I’m fit enough to protect you.”
“I guess that’s reassuring.” The smile now reached to her eyes. “And you’re right. It is stunning here. I mustn’t let myself get wrapped up in fear again. I’m trying to get away from that.”
“Good. Because before that happened I think you were enjoying our kiss.”
She looked up at the bird again. “I was.” Her lip quivered slightly. “Too much. I enjoyed kissing my ex-husband at first, too.”
“I’m not him.” He let go of her arm gently. She didn’t run off. That was a start.
“I know you’re not.” She fixed her eyes on him. “It’s just that I was so in love. It started with attraction and quickly spiraled into me giving him my entire life. I don’t trust myself to be sensible.”
“I don’t trust myself to be sensible, either, very often.” He was more inclined to plunge in headfirst and deal with the fallout later. “Sometimes you have to take a leap of faith. Don’t lose the part of you that feels, or that cares. That’s what makes us human.” He couldn’t stand that she thought shutting herself off from experience was the best way to protect herself from pain.
Even if she might have a point, especially where he was concerned. He didn’t exactly have the best track record when it came to long-term loving relationships. “Look at the view from here.” They’d reached a bend in the road and a gap in the trees revealed a clear view down to a river sparkling in a valley below them. “Isn’t it amazing to see a river running here so close to the vast barren desert?”
“This whole mountain range seems to rise up out of nowhere. I guess it shows you that life can flourish in surprising places.”
“And joy can flourish in unexpected places, too.”
She turned sharply to look at him. “You’re a flirt.”
“Either that or I’m speaking the truth.”
“Or both.” She laughed. “I think you’re very easy to take at face value.”
“Good. Would you like to walk down toward the river? There’s a path here—look.” A narrow trail between the trees zigzagged across the hillside.
“Why not?” The sparkle was back in her eyes. “In fact, I’ll lead the way.” The kestrel spiraled overhead as she proceeded—gingerly—down the gravelly path toward the sparkling water in the wadi below. He enjoyed the view of her body in the fitted jeans that showed off her athletic-looking curves. The mystery of her traditional clothing had its own allure, but he preferred the what-you-see-is-what-you-get simplicity of Western clothing. Maybe mystery wasn’t his thing. His hands itched to run themselves over her lithe body, but he counseled himself to take it slow.
Take your time. It will be worth it
. The last thing he wanted was to add to her burden of grief and regret. When they parted, he wanted to leave her smiling.
His own thoughts jolted him, and he almost slipped on the loose ground. Why was he thinking about their parting already? In business he always had an exit strategy in mind. Was he the same in relationships, even though he’d never admitted it to himself?
Something felt different this time, though. What were his intentions with Dani? She was quieter and gentler than the kind of women he usually dated, and that made him take their whole new relationship more seriously. He knew everything that happened between them would mean a lot to her, and that made it important to him, too. Already he felt a connection to her far deeper than such a short acquaintance would normally produce. He wanted to make her happy.
“Almost there!” She flashed him a brilliant smile that made his breath catch in his lungs. In moments like this he could see Dani shake off the shroud of fear and transform back into the vibrant young woman she was supposed to be. Her exhilaration was catching and he bounded down the last few yards like a clumsy gazelle, arriving on the pebbled shoreline at the same tizme she did.
“I wonder if the water is cold.” He crouched and dipped his fingers in it. “Yes. It must be spring water.”
She let her fingers play in the water. “In the old days there were underground channels that carried water hundreds of miles through the desert—all the way to the cities—without evaporating.”
“Proves that in some ways our ancestors were more advanced than we are. Today that kind of pipeline is usually filled with oil.”
“One day something else will replace the oil. A few centuries ago the frankincense trade was the beating heart of this area. You still see the trees dotting the landscape. Some of them are hundreds of years old, maybe even thousands. They tap them for the sap, which dries into hard chunks of frankincense. People still burn it for the aroma, though it isn’t worth more than gold anymore.”
“Value is always relative.” Quasar splashed water on his face and neck. “Anyone in business will tell you that. Can’t knock the oil, though. It made my family wealthy, though they’ve since branched out. Is your father in the oil industry?”
“He used to be. Right now he’s employed by the latest building boom. He does pretty well but for some reason he’s always complaining. I think he feels he should be a millionaire by now. He’s never satisfied. He’s griping about supporting me again. I wish I could find a job.”
“Have you looked?”
“Here in Salalah?” She laughed. “I haven’t. I’ve just assumed there’s nothing in my field.”
“Don’t give up before you even try.” He splashed a little water at her. She shrieked and splashed him back. Suddenly they were engaged in an all-out splash war that left them both drenched and breathless—and kissing again.
Four
D
ani’s clothes had almost dried by the time she unlocked the back door to the house and snuck in, hoping no one had noticed Quasar’s car on their street. He could hardly drop her off at the market damp and disheveled, so she had to take the risk.
“Where have you been?” She almost jumped out of her skin at the sound of Khalid’s voice.
“Why are you home from school so early?”
He stood in the hallway looking gangly and awkward in his too-small school uniform. At fifteen, he was going through a teenage growth spurt and had shot up about three inches just since she’d been home. “Our algebra teacher is having surgery. They let us go home. Why are your jeans wet at the bottom?” His eyes traveled back up to meet hers. “And why are you wearing jeans at all. I thought Dad told you to dress traditionally.”
“I’m a grown-up. I can dress how I want.” She attempted to sweep past him but the hallway was narrow and their elbows bumped.
“Hmm. Sounds like you were doing something you’re not supposed to.”
“I know. Walking around without a male relative. It’s a shame you weren’t here or I could have taken you with me to the dry cleaner.”
“How did you get wet at the dry cleaner?” He was following her down the hallway.
“I stepped in a ditch. Someone must have just emptied water in it.” The lie made her flesh creep a little. It was pathetic that she couldn’t even tell her own younger brother that she’d spent the afternoon in the mountains. He’d probably be interested in hearing about the steppe eagle they saw, but she knew her father would freak out and possibly never leave her unattended again if he knew she’d been out in a car with a strange man. There was no way she could tell the truth.
Which was ridiculous. “Are you going to follow me into the shower?”
“Why are you taking a shower in the middle of the afternoon?” Her brother’s question grated on her nerves. He wasn’t a bad kid. She’d been trying to get to know him since she’d been back here, since the age difference between them meant they’d never been especially close. He’d only been about six when she’d gone off to the United States for college. He was very by-the-book, though. The kind of person who’d never be able to sleep at night if his homework wasn’t done and his teeth not brushed. He was not someone she’d dare confide in.
“I’m hot. It’s always hot here in Oman, but I guess I’m not used to it anymore.”
“What’s it like living in America? I bet it’s pretty cool.”
His wistful voice made her turn. Leaning against the wall he looked much less like an inquisitor and more like a curious fifteen-year-old. “It is pretty cool. The food takes some getting used to but there’s stuff going on all day and night and more places to go than you can imagine.”
“Do you think Dad would let me go there for college? He let you go.”
She sighed. “I don’t know.” He probably wouldn’t be willing to risk another of his offspring going astray. She hadn’t exactly stuck with the program. “Wait until the dust has settled. I think he’s still stirred up about me being back here with my life in shambles. He doesn’t think America is a very good influence.”
“Do you think it’s a bad influence?”
She frowned. “No. It’s big, though, and confusing. You have to be careful or you can just...get lost.” She’d lost herself, giving her heart and soul to a man who could never be happy.
At least now she could see that the fault lay with him. It had taken some time to gain that perspective. And even now she wondered what she could have done differently. What she could do differently in the future so she didn’t screw up again.
Quasar was different. Excitement flickered in her heart at the thought of him. Khalid walked back down the hall toward his own room, and she sagged with relief. She’d been afraid to even let Quasar cross her mind until her brother had taken his keen eyes off her. She worried about what he might see—a telltale sparkle in her eyes, a giveaway flush in her cheek. Even thinking about him produced a physical reaction. It was startling and disturbing.
She closed the door of her room behind her and glanced down at the wet cuffs of her jeans. She’d better hope Khalid didn’t mention anything to her father. And if he did she’d better have a good story. A glance in the mirror showed that her face was tanned from their afternoon in the sun. She unwound her headscarf and let her hair fall down her back. A memory assaulted her of Quasar’s fingers raking through the long strands, of his hand pressing against the base of her skull as they kissed, so deep and long that she could barely breathe.
Quasar.
Fear mingled with the excitement flooding her veins at the memory of him. What was she doing? She’d let him kiss her. Worse yet, she’d kissed him back. Her lips buzzed at the memory. She’d told him things that she’d never told anyone else: her shame at letting her ex-husband strip away her self-confidence; her fear that she was worthless, unemployable and a disappointment to everyone.
And he was nothing but encouraging. And interested. She had to admit that that alone did a lot to boost her confidence. She smiled at her reflection in the bathroom mirror before she turned on the shower. Her ex-husband had made her feel like no man would ever want anything to do with her. Quasar had already proved him wrong.
But what did he want from her? They’d already kissed and the chemistry was palpable.
Next stop was sex. With no promises.
She’d have to be completely insane to even consider it. Every time she saw him, he occupied more of her brain space, more room in her heart. Of course it was encouraging that her heart was actually beating again, especially when he was nearby, but she didn’t want it to get broken, and since she was still in a fragile state that might happen quite easily.
Quasar was a freewheeling, fun-loving guy who moved on when he got bored. Which could be next week.
The chilly water made her gasp. She needed to cool herself off. Quasar was a fun companion. An exhilarating break from routine. He was not her future, and she’d better remember that.
* * *
Sometimes when people asked too many questions it was easiest to stay silent.
Quasar’s brothers and their families were all sitting around one of the hotel’s private dining rooms, enjoying a lavish dinner. So far he’d managed to avoid revealing anything other than his excursion into the mountains. In the absence of further details they assumed he went alone with a sporting objective.
“Quasar all alone with the kestrels.” Elan broke off a piece of bread. “You’re giving me flashbacks to when you were a kid and you trained that bird to hunt for you. I think you’re channeling your inner Omani again.”
“Nothing wrong with that.” Quasar shot his brother a smile. “And the views from the mountainside are pretty impressive.”
“I am pleased that you’re enjoying what Oman has to offer.” Salim raised his glass. “You can help promote our country in America.”
“I don’t think you need any help. Isn’t the hotel at capacity?” Quasar helped himself to some more rice.
“I have plans for a new hotel just north of here.”
“On the beach? Or out in the desert like Saliyah?”
“Right on the shore, waves lapping at your toes. It’s a property I’ve been saving for the right application. Celia’s been dying to plan the landscape ever since I showed it to her.”
Celia leaned against her husband. It was obvious she loved working with him. “It’s going to be so lush. Not that you’d know it to look at the place now. I don’t think there’s a single plant growing there. Just some old torn fishing nets and driftwood.” She rubbed her hands together with pretend glee. “But I love a challenge.”
“Celia, I get that Salim keeps you busy creating oases in the desert, but don’t you sometimes want to take other jobs?” Quasar was curious about how this whole work/romance thing worked.
“I do. I was in Mexico City last month working on a corporate headquarters there.”
“And the kids stayed at home with Salim?” Quasar topped off his sister-in-law’s glass of lemonade.
Celia nodded. “Of course—we have plenty of help here at the hotel. And sometimes they all come with me. It’s nice now that the kids are young enough that they don’t have to miss school.”
Elan still worked with his wife, Sara, too, though now they were business partners, not boss and assistant. Quasar couldn’t imagine how you could spend all day
and
all night with someone. Didn’t they ever get tired of each other? That must be what true love was like.
Most likely he wasn’t capable of it. He was better suited to brief affairs. Intense journeys of exploration and enjoyment that ended while everything was still fabulous. He couldn’t wait to continue his voyage into the intriguing world of Dani. Her passion was so unexpected and he suspected he’d just bumped the tip of the iceberg. It was time to take her to his private getaway in the foothills of the mountains. He’d be staying there right now if Salim hadn’t convinced him to stay at the hotel to spend more time with Elan and Sara while they were visiting. He hadn’t even stopped by since he’d been here.
A waiter brought a round of coffees and a plate of dates. The children were excused from the table and started to run around it like maniacs, which made everyone laugh.
Quasar had formed a plan. “Have you guys been out to my house lately? I had a decorator fix it up for me and she sent me pictures, but I haven’t seen what Celia did with the landscape yet. You’ve all kept me so busy I haven’t had a chance to visit.”
“There were twelve frankincense trees on the property,” said Celia. “They hadn’t been tapped in years and we did it ourselves. I’m going to send you some of the finished product for Christmas.”
“Does that mean I’m not invited here for Christmas?” He pretended to look sad. He did feel a little weird about the acknowledgment that he’d soon be gone. He didn’t want to leave. Not without Dani.
The thought struck him like a slap. He’d been on a total of three dates with her. Something about her had captivated him. He couldn’t even explain what it was. Yes, she was lovely. She was sweet. Her vulnerability coaxed out of him a nurturing side he hadn’t previously realized he had.
And then there was the attraction between them. Powerful, insistent, a chemical brew that made him want to kiss her and hold her and make passionate love to her. And for that, he needed peace and privacy and a chance to get the place prepared to entertain her.
“I want to spend some time at my house tomorrow. You know, get a feel for it. There’s no sense in owning a house if I never go there.”
“I’m surprised you went to the mountains today and didn’t even visit it.”
“I planned to but didn’t have time.” And didn’t want to scare the life out of Dani. An unplanned kiss in the wilderness was one thing. Luring her into his lair without scaring her off would take some delicacy.
“Before you become a hermit, Quasar, I want you to know that Sara and I have been hard at work searching for the perfect woman for you.” Celia bit into an olive. “Do you remember her sister, Erin?”
“Of course I do.” A bubbly, pretty girl with a young daughter, Erin had been at both of his brothers’ weddings.
“Her latest boyfriend has turned out to be just as much of a loser as the last two.” Sara took a sip of her lemonade. “So we’ve determined that she needs some help in the matchmaking department. We thought it might be interesting to set you guys up. It’s a slight snag that she lives in Wisconsin and you live in...where do you live these days, anyway?”
“To be determined.” He smiled. “I’m a free agent ready to move where the action takes me.”
“Perfect. We’ll have to get you guys together. There’s a school break coming up in two weeks. I’ll see if we can get her and Erin and her son on a flight out here.”
Quasar stiffened. “I don’t know, Sara. I’m not really ready for a new relationship. I want to take some time, to figure some things out.” With Dani. The last thing he needed was to be set up with someone when there was no way he could be interested in her. He didn’t want to hurt Erin’s feelings, either. She sounded like she’d had enough of that already.
“It can’t hurt to meet her, can it?”
“It might, if we meet at the wrong time and end up blowing it.” He shrugged.
“I suppose you’re right. It’s probably better to wait until you’re ready. I notice you haven’t mentioned that woman you met at the bookshop. I assume she very sensibly brushed you off.”
He felt a sheepish expression pass over his face. How could he keep such a big secret from his own family? All of these people wanted the best for him. Why was he so reluctant to tell them what was happening with Dani? “Actually, she was with me today.”
“Ah.” Salim didn’t look surprised. Or pleased. Sara and Celia smiled at each other. Elan kept a poker face.
“I’ll have to bring her over to meet you all soon. Her name’s Dani, short for Daniyah.”
“That’s a pretty name. I don’t think I’ve heard it before,” said Sara.
“My lawyer was filling my ears with gossip about Daniyah Hassan the other day.” Salim frowned and put his coffee cup down sharply. “It’s not her, is it?”
“I don’t know her last name. Isn’t that funny? I’m not sure I told her mine, either.”
“Well, you should have. That might have put a stop to this before it even started.” Salim’s expression was grim.
“Why?”
“Did she just come back from the States after a failed marriage?”
Quasar sat up. “Yes. How did you know?”
“Salalah maybe be a big city by Omani standards, but it’s a small town by anyone else’s. We all know each other’s business.”
“Isn’t Mohammed Hassan the guy who sued you over that waterfront property?” Elan sipped his coffee.
“Yes. That’s her father.” Salim stared at Quasar. “Twelve years in the courts. That’s why my lawyer’s keeping tabs on the family. I don’t know Daniyah personally, but her father is like a pit bull. The case still isn’t resolved. Though it will be before we break ground next year. Count on it.”
“Why don’t you resolve it amicably?”
Salim blew out a breath. “That land is ours. Our father paid three thousand rials for it in 1976. I have the paperwork to prove it.”