Her Anchor (116 page)

“It should only take a couple of hours to replace it, but I doubt Sweeny’s carries the part. It’ll take at least a week for it to come in and you won’t be able to use it in the meantime.”

“Well doesn’t that beat all? I guess I’ll just have to wait.” Mom turned back to tend to her pots.

I leaned over to Colt and hissed, “What do you think you’re doing here?”

“I stopped by to see if you needed a ride.” He said, grabbing a cookie, my cookie, off the counter.

“I don’t need anything from you.” I tried to make my voice as indignant as I could while ignoring his leg pressed against mine. “Actually I do need something from you, I think I dropped my keys in your truck last night. Did you see them in there?”

“Nope.”

“No? Well they weren’t in my purse or at the bar, so they must be there. Mind if I take a look?” He shook his head, mouth full of my cookie and grinning.

I hopped down from my chair and headed out to Colt’s truck in the driveway, relieved to get some space from him. I opened the passenger door and paused. Even from here I didn’t look like I would have much luck, Colt’s truck was spotless. No empty cups or old receipts on the floor, just a small collection of change in one of the cup holders. Feeling around under the seats and in the cushion cracks, I turned up empty. I closed the door and couldn’t help but feel like this was another kick in the shins. One more hurdle to jump. I turned back to the house, my optimism dimming another shade.

When I got back in, the table was set and bowls of steaming food were everywhere. Colt was seated in the spot beside mine and he grinned up at me as my mom fussed over him. I rolled my eyes and slumped down in my chair.

“Mom, can I borrow your car today?”

“I’m sorry, dear, but I need my car this afternoon. I’m volunteering at the senior’s supper and I just can’t miss that. What’s wrong with yours?”

“I can’t find my keys.” I mumbled.

“That’s not very responsible of you dear. I thought you were going into the city today to look for a job.”

“I was.” I muttered as she scooped a generous helping onto my plate.

“I can take you.” Colt said from beside me. I swiveled my head around to look at him. The cocky grin on his face made me want to hurl my fork at his head.

“I don’t think so.”

“It’s no problem at all. That way I can pick up that door pulley for your mom and have it up and running by tomorrow.”

“That’s a lovely idea. How thoughtful of you. Are you sure you don’t have any other plans today?” Mom asked, putting two buns on Colt’s plate.

“Right. Like work or something?” I said, hopeful.

“Nope. Not a thing planned.”

“Wonderful!” My mom clapped her hands together, oblivious to my protests. “It’s all settled then.”

I fell against the back of my chair, the rolling of my stomach squashing my appetite. A stole a look at the grin on Colt’s face. It was going to be another long day.

*****

Armed with a travel mug of black coffee and a bag of cookies from my mom we rolled through the streets in silence. I reached into the bag.

“Get out of there. Your mom said those were for me.”

“She also said you were a ‘sweet dear’. She was clearly mistaken on both accounts.” I said, fishing out the biggest one I could find. Colt turned on the radio and stretched his long arm along the back of the seat, his hand coming to rest on my shoulder. I shrugged it off and cut him a sideways look. Even though his eyes were trained on the road I could see him grinning like this was all a big joke. Like we were playing a game.

Somehow I had to make it through the whole day with Colt irritating the hell out of me. I reached over and turned the volume up on the radio. The trees passed out the window as I tried my best to ignore Colt. He used to be my best friend, the one who could always make me laugh. And he still could, it would seem. Except I didn’t know if I could trust him anymore, no matter what my betraying body thought.

When we arrived in the city, 30 long minutes later, it was a welcome sight. I rubbed at the ache that had developed in my neck. Even though I spent the better part of the drive looking out the window, doing my best to completely ignore him, Colt’s hand kept finding its way to my shoulder. Half way there I gave up shrugging it off and just did my best to ignore him and that damn grin too.

The sooner Colt dropped me off, the better. He could go his way to hunt down the part he needed and I could work on getting on with my life. In any case I could use some time away from him so I could spend less time obsessing about him and more time obsessing about my hopeless future.

The employment office was located on the second floor of a large concrete building, surrounded by a few dozen other tall buildings. The white fluorescent lit walls and dated office furniture looked as bleak as my job prospects. And the women I met with said pretty much the same thing. Or more specifically, there were no openings for someone with my skill set, unless I wanted to apply to any of the retail positions currently open. I did not. Not yet, anyways. So instead I spent some time updating my resume and searching through jobs ads, just in case.

When I had accessed all the services I could I made my way back out into the late afternoon sun. Pulling out my phone I located the nearest Starbucks. It was only a couple blocks away and I had plenty of time before Colt was supposed to pick me up. I walked there quickly so I could take my time getting back, enjoying the rich smell and creamy taste. Nothing like a latte to curb the disappointment of coming away with not a lot to show for myself. At least I got back out there and tried.

There was a bench half a block down from our meeting place and I sat. The streets weren’t very busy at this time of day, only a handful of people in sight. I shivered against the feeling of loneliness. I had become all too accustomed to that feeling. When I was young the city seemed like a wonderful place, so full of excitement. But having taken a closer look I realized it was just a bunch of regular people doing the same regular things as everyone else. Nothing special.

A throaty rumbling broke through the hum of city traffic. I turned to see Colt’s truck ambling its way towards me and I found myself smiling. As much as I hated to admit it, knowing I wasn’t alone here was a welcome feeling. I stood and met Colt at the street, ready to go home.

Even though I didn’t feel like being stuck in the truck with Colt trying to figure out what his angle was, it seemed better than the loneliness I felt outside. Hopping in, I caught Colt’s stare and smiled. A peace offering for the ride. And perhaps a small apology for being such a bitch to him today when he had been nothing but kind and friendly.

He returned the smile. “How did you do?”

“Not so great. There was nothing available right now, unless I wanted to mop floors.”

“How about we hit up the drive thru. I’ll buy you an ice cream if it’ll make you feel better.”

“Deal.” I laughed. Even when we were kids Colt could always make me laugh. Even if I didn’t want to.

Picking up a burger and an ice cream cone, we headed out of the city on our way home again.

“This is great.” Colt said, stretching his arm across the seat again. “Just like back in the day.”

I stopped mid-chew and gapped at him. Was he nuts? “We’re not 17 and this wasn’t a joy ride.”

“But I thought that’s why you wanted to come along with me.” His voice was a little too innocent.

“I did not want to come with you, but you left me with no other choice, other than give up on my plans to get out of my mom’s house. You’re one of the last people I wanted to see today.”

“What are you talking about? I thought you had a great time last night.”

“Last night just proved what an asshole you could be. It’s not bad enough you had to dump me and cheat on me when I told you I wanted to leave. You had to add insult to injury and make me feel like a floozy when I came crawling home. So no, last night was not a great time and I have no idea why you would think otherwise.”

“That’s not what last night was about. And I know you had a fantastic time because you told me so.” I creased my brow, trying to remember what his funny little mind could be interpreting as a good time, but coming up empty. I shrugged and shook my head. “In the truck, on the way home. Right before you left that drool streak on my window.”

I turned and looked beside me to see the one imperfection on his otherwise spotless window. That would explain why I couldn’t remember the ride home.

“What did I say, exactly?”

“I’m not sure I should say. You’re starting to get mad again. And as we established yesterday, I know you well enough to know when to stop.” His grin infuriated me but I turned my attention back to my supper, choosing not to play his game. Colt knew I hated being taunted, but today was a new day and I was determined to drop it.

“I meant what I said last night, though.” His voice was low, seriousness creeping in. A whole lot of images flashed through my mind about last night, but I couldn’t seem to recall him saying much.

Not able to show restraint twice in a row, curiosity got the best of me. “What part?”

“The part about you being stronger than what you’re making yourself out to be. I think if you took some time to look around you would see that things maybe aren’t that bad.”

“I really don’t think you have the right to tell me what I should do.” I felt shitty enough as it was. I didn’t need Colt judging me too.

“You’re right. I don’t. And maybe that’s for the best because if I did I would never have let you go in the first place and you would have hated me for that.”

“You’re probably right. But you didn’t seem too broken up about it at the time.”

Colt heaved a sigh, “I’ve spent every night since regretting that decision, wondering if I should have come with you. And damning myself for being so stubborn. All I know is I never should have let you go.”

Unexpected tears stung my eyes and I turned away from him so he couldn’t see. I wanted to be angry with Colt. Blaming him was easy and gave me the freedom to leave with no regrets. It was also the excuse I needed to lay the fault at his feet. Hearing him say he regretted how things went took some conviction out of it. It made me question if I ever should have left in the first place. I wasn’t expecting that from him and I didn’t know how I felt about it, so I didn’t say anything. I sat quietly in the deepening darkness until the lights of town began casting shadows in the truck. The last few miles seemed to drag on.

We pulled up to my house, the lights dark inside. Colt put the truck in park and I hesitated. Turning to him I searched his face in the dim cab. His arm had never left the back of the seat, though he wasn’t touching me anymore. Blue eyes cut through the dark, looking back at me with questions of his own.

“Did you really mean what you said?”

“About regretting letting you go? Absolutely.”

“Why did you never tell me?”

“I felt like an idiot after things ended. Then you left right away. And I guess I was still a bit…“

“Stubborn?”

He smiled. “Maybe a little. By then too much time had passed, you were following your dreams and I couldn’t take that away from you.”

I looked away from him, my fingers picked at a thread on my jacket. “When I left I thought I knew what I wanted. I don’t think I want it anymore.”

“I’ve always known what I wanted.” Warm fingers slipped down from the seat onto the back of my neck, shivers sprawling down my spine. The fire from his touch soon followed the same path and culminated low. The memory of his hands touching me in my most tender spots fueled the fire until I began to crave it all over again.

I moved into his touch. His hand on my nape pulled me close to him. His lips touched mine and my body responded in kind, leaning in to him. The current that passed between us wasn’t nearly enough to satisfy and Colt gripped my hips and pulled me to him. I swung my leg over his and settled on his lap, our lips never more than a breath apart. His tongue queried and I parted my lips, deepening the kiss. Colt’s hands roamed upwards until they were covering my breasts and I pushed into his hands, loving the way he plucked at my nipples; the way he groaned his approval against my lips.