Authors: Tammy Letherer
When she finally saw the knobby white knees of the mailman round the corner, she jumped up and ran toward him.
“Gizzy! Got anything for me?”
He smiled and flipped through his bag. “Sure do.”
Already? Could it be? That meant her dad wrote back the second he read her letter. Like he’d been waiting to be invited. Oh, she should have done this years ago!
“Give it here!”
Gizzy frowned at her. “No, ma’am. No can do.”
“Are you kidding?” she asked, jumping up and down.
He shook his head. “It’s my job to put this in your box. Federal offense to do otherwise.”
“I’ve seen you hand mail to plenty of people.”
“Adults maybe. Not children like you.”
“Why not?” she asked. Could she wrestle it out of his hand? He was a very large man.
“There could be something in here you don’t want your mother to see. Something from the school, for instance.”
She rolled her eyes. “Gizzy! School hasn’t even started yet.”
“All the same. I believe I’ll keep my cautious ways.” He walked past her.
“If it’s got my name on it, it belongs to me,” she said, running beside him. “Give it here!”
“Why don’t you go have a seat on your porch? I’ll be along shortly.”
She groaned and stomped her foot. A stickler for rules. She hated that in a person. There was nothing she could do but watch his wide backside waddle away. How could a person who walked all day stay so large? She should have brought a cookie out. She bet if she held a cookie in front of his face, he’d drop his bag in a second.
At last he thumped up her stairs. “OK now,” he said, dropping a bundle of envelopes into the black box beside the door. “Patience is its own reward.”
She snatched the letters up and flipped through them. There! Written in strong black ink:
Miss Sally Van Sloeten
. She started to pry one corner open, ever so slowly, then stopped, her mouth suddenly dry. In seconds her whole life would change. She watched Gizzy walk away. Not just ordinary Gizzy, but The Man Who Brought the Letter. Years from now, they would reminisce together about this day, thinking back with a happy sigh about how he helped make her dream come true. He would tell everyone that it was people like Sally and her dad that made his job worthwhile, and she’d laugh and slug him affectionately in the arm. She imagined the reunion soon to come. First the banquet, then Thanksgiving and Christmas with her dad. They could even invite Gizzy. Dear, sweet Gizzy. Her heart filled with gratitude, until she saw him stop in front of the Blakes’ house and wipe his nose with the back of his bare arm.
She ripped open the envelope. Inside was a white piece of notebook paper.
Dear Sally,
Thank you for your recent letter. It was a pleasure to hear from you. It sounds like you’re doing very well. I’ve thought of you often. It’s very kind of you to invite me to your banquet. Unfortunately I will be traveling at the time. Perhaps next year. Say hello to the rest of the family.
With love, your Dad
She stared, then read it again. It was like some kind of
business
letter, the kind of thing they practiced in typing class.
Dear madam, we’re sorry to inform you that your qualifications do not meet the current needs of the company.
As if she were applying for something. As if she were some stranger! She lowered herself slowly to the steps, her knees weak. It sounded like he dictated it to someone! His new daughter maybe? The one who worked with him, side by side, every day.
Honey, will you jot down a quick note for me to someone named…uh, let’s see…Sally?
She should have known. She’d gone and put the cart before the horse. That’s what her mother would say. Don’t count your chickens before they’re hatched, or some other tired phrase that had nothing to do with flesh-and-blood, heart-pounding situations.
Why did her mother always have to be right?
She read the letter a third time.
It was a pleasure to hear from you.
I’ve thought of you often.
With love
.
She focused on those two words, letting them soothe her. But if there was comfort there, it was short-lived. Was he mocking her? She’d signed her letter with
love
. She’d meant it!
She looked at the envelope. The postmark read Holland, Michigan, which made no sense, since her dad lived in Kalamazoo. How could he send this letter from Holland, unless he was here, in town? For a moment she entertained a wild idea. This was all a set up! Her dad’s idea of a surprise.
When I said I was traveling, I meant to you! And here I am!
How wonderful it would be if he drove up right now.
Ha, ha
, he’d say, tumbling out of the car.
Got you!
All her worries would dissolve as they shared a laugh. What a way to reunite! The two of them instantly at ease, bonded by blood. She looked around, but the movement that caught her eye was her mother, looking out the window. Prudy dropped the curtain as if she didn’t want Sally to see her.
Sally quickly folded the letter and hid it under her shirt, hoping her mother hadn’t seen, but knowing she had. She stood up, ready to bolt. She needed time to think! But Prudy was at the door.
“Well?”
Sally looked away. “Well what?”
“Is that a letter from him?”
Sally didn’t answer.
Prudy studied her a moment. “I’m sorry, honey.”
Sally tried to think of something flip, something to make her mother believe she hadn’t seen her with a letter in her hand. She couldn’t do it. Disappointment pressed on her too heavily and she sagged. “You don’t even know what it says.”
Prudy blinked and folded her arms around her waist. “Why don’t you tell me.”
“Oh, take a guess!” Sally pulled the letter out and threw it at her. “It’s just what you predicted.”
Prudy picked it up and read it.
“I’m so sorry,” she said again.
“Sure you are. You’re sorry, I’m sorry, everybody’s sorry!”
Folding the paper carefully, Prudy said, “Never mind. You did what you felt you had to do. Now that you have your answer, you can just put him out of your mind.”
Like Sally could pluck the thought of him from her mind, drop it in the garbage can and let the lid fall.
“He could have rearranged his schedule!” she said.
Prudy pursed her mouth. “Sally, really.”
“And this envelope doesn’t make sense! Look, this was mailed from Holland. Not Kalamazoo. That means he’s
here
.”
Prudy sighed and shrugged. “I’m sure he passes through here all the time. For his work.”
All the time.
Which meant that Sally was no more meaningful than the scenery out a car window.
There’s the Tastee Dawg, the turn-off to Tunnel Park, my children’s house.
Did he ever wonder about her or had he stopped years ago? How does a person
do
that?
“You’re only making me feel worse,” Sally said.
Her mother didn’t hide her impatience. “What difference does it make where he is? He’s not a part of us anymore.”
“He’s a part of me!” Sally said. Only he wasn’t. She had built him up from nothing.
But this letter wasn’t nothing.
“I have to see him. Face to face. I have to talk to him and make him understand.”
“It won’t do any good.”
“How do you know?”
Prudy looked around the porch, like she was searching for words. With a great heave, she threw up her hands. “Honey, he’s given you his answer.”
“But it’s only because he’ll be away! Anyway, forget the stupid banquet. He can come another time and we’ll go to…I don’t know, the drive-in or something!” Somewhere the other kids would see them.
Prudy reached for her. “I told you, you don’t have to miss the banquet. You’ll have a nice time with Pastor Voss. We’ll get you a beautiful new dress.”
Sally shrugged her away. “You don’t understand anything!”
There was a long pause. “I tried to prepare you for this. I know it’s painful to realize that your father…” Prudy stopped. It was almost as if she was going to cry. Sally looked at her sharply. “…that he isn’t really interested. But you have to let this go for now.”
“Of course you’d say that!” She pushed past Prudy, through the front door, and threw herself down on the sofa. Could it really be over, in the space of five minutes? Her mother would love for her to settle for this tiny crumb. Well, I tried. Move on to the next obsession. In a few years Prudy could say
remember when you were so gung-ho to find your dad? Oh, I hardly knew what to do with you!
But Sally had actually heard from him! She wasn’t about to let go of that. Besides, if she didn’t make something happen, what would her life be like?
When her mother followed her inside Sally turned her head into the pillow, then snapped it back.
“And
another
thing,” she said. “I might just go to college, so you’d better get used to it!”
Prudy looked at her, surprised. “That would be wonderful.”
Wonderful? Things were changing already.
Sally had never been eager for Vacation Bible School to start. Who wanted to spend all day in the sweltering church basement watching Mrs. Regneres’ bouncing bosom while they sang
This Little Light of Mine
? But this year was different. Sally’s light was a full glare, lighthouse beacon, guiding her father home to her. She wasn’t about to let her mother or anyone else blow it out. In fact, while Nell and all the other young people were memorizing the New Testament, Sally would be busy. She had to get to Kalamazoo. A letter was so impersonal. Face to face was the way to go.
You might say her new plan was her mother’s fault. You hear from your runaway husband after ten long years and all you can do is give your daughter a pat on the arm?
Sorry dear, I guess I’ll go mop the kitchen floor.
Prudy only cared about saving face. That’s why she wanted Sally to go to the banquet with the pastor. She was just embarrassed about Lenny. She probably thought if everyone saw Sally at the banquet with Pastor Voss, they would think he was some special family friend. Then Lenny’s situation would look more like a favor than a punishment.
She was using Sally for her own selfish reasons. Why shouldn’t Sally be selfish too?
Sally would go straight to Pastor Voss and ask him for some money.
My mother is too embarrassed to ask, but I really need a new dress if I’m going to the banquet.
She’d offer to work it off, like Lenny. She wasn’t above scrubbing a few toilets. It was just another thing she and her dad would laugh about.
Did I ever tell you how my daughter got the bus fare to Kalamazoo?
If all went well, she’d be at the Greyhound station later today. Wouldn’t her mother love that! Prudy liked to warn that bus stations were full of drugs and drifters. But Sally would manage. She had her dad’s address in her pocket, along with a five dollar bill and five ones left over from the twenty her Aunt Flookie gave her on her birthday. Anyway, did Christopher Columbus worry when he stepped aboard the Santa Maria? Did Moses worry when he led the Jews out of Israel? Did her own brother worry when he threw his cap and gown in the garbage and said
the hell with it, I’ll do what I damn well please?
Besides, what other way was there? She didn’t know anyone who had a car except Aunt Flookie, and Flookie couldn’t keep a secret about anything.
“Hurry up Nell!” Sally was waiting in the back yard, watching Nell climb the stairs to the second floor to get Mandy, the neighbor girl.
“Mrs. Veenstra?” Nell called through the screen door. “We’re leaving for church now.”
Mrs. Veenstra came to the door with an open lipstick tube in her hand.
“Is Mandy ready?” Nell asked.
“She’s not feeling too good. I’m not sure she should go.”
Sally twisted her toe in the grass and pulled her dress away from her armpits. It was going to be another hot day.
“She’ll be fine,” she called up, hating this snootie-patootie Mona Veenstra and all her different shades of lipstick. Sally had only one color and it was too pale. She longed for a bright red, or burnt umber. Today a peachy keen or frosted ice would have given her some confidence. If Mrs. Veenstra weren’t so unfriendly, Sally might have borrowed something from her.
As if reading her mind, Mrs. Veenstra carefully put the cap back on the lipstick. She crossed her arms and looked down at Sally.
“I don’t know,” she said. Mandy appeared in the doorway behind her wearing a pink ruffly dress and heavy pink stockings. Glancing back, Mrs. Veenstra saw her and shifted her weight just enough to block Mandy from Sally’s sight. Sally sighed and put her hands on her hips. The woman treated
Mandy
like a tube of lipstick. She used her only to make herself look good.