Heart Strings (Music of the Heart Book 1) (16 page)

Susanna flushed and bit her lip. “I don’t suppose I can blame you. I can see how my clothing might be an embarrassment to someone like you.”

“Oh, no, I’ve done it again,” Esther said. “I didn’t mean that as unkindly as it sounded. You couldn’t be an embarrassment even if you tried.” She drew nearer and smiled. “You have to admit, though, your coat looks as if it’s at least two decades old.”

“I cannot argue with that, but—”

Esther held up her hand. “You may have noticed that I am also insufferably spoiled so you might as well give in. I always have my way—it comes from being the only girl in a household of boys, and having a doting husband who cannot refuse my every whim.”

Once the seamstress finished, Esther handed Susanna two gowns, one of white cambric and the other pink silk. “Fit these to her, as well.”

“Oh, no, really,” Susanna said. “This is too much.”

“Now, now, none of that.” Esther said. “We are having a few friends for dinner tonight. Naturally, as my guest, you will join me. You must have something suitable to wear, and I was planning on giving them away anyway. Tomorrow, we can order some gowns of your own.”

Susanna opened her mouth to speak but Esther rushed on. “No objections about the cost. I assure you, it is a trifle. I already spoke with my husband and he assures me that I have not yet spent my dress allowance for this Season. He’s so generous with that sort of thing. We are happy to share with you.”

Firmly, Susanna said, “No, Esther. I am sorry. I do not mean to insult you or be ungracious about your gifts, but I really cannot allow you to buy new gowns for me for which I have no hope of repaying.”

“You are already repaying me by being my friend. You see, I have many acquaintances, and some false friends who only pretend to like me because they are social climbers, or because they want me to introduce them to my older brothers. You clearly don’t want anything from me. Naturally, I trust you.” She smiled. “Besides, Kit likes you, and I’ve always trusted his judgement.” She sat and picked up a copy of
Ackerman’s Repository
and thumbed through the magazine, pausing at the fashion engravings.

Susanna fell silent. She’d never considered ladies in Esther’s position might be lonely, without true friends. Perhaps they had more in common than Susanna had first thought.

“I have a proposal,” Esther said. “I do not wish to step on your pride or your desire for independence. Allow me to give you the gift of one new gown—only one. Anything else you need can be fitted to you from my last year’s wardrobe which I am planning to discard. Please?” She held up her fingers as if measuring something. “Just one teeny little new gown?”

Susanna heaved a sigh. How could she refuse? How could she accept?

Esther stood and came to Susanna, taking her by the hand. “Imagine if our situations were reversed. You would want to do the same, would you not? Wouldn’t it give you great pleasure to dress me up?” She gave her a beseeching smile.

Esther was right. If Susanna had the means to help someone with nothing, she certainly would want to go about it just as Esther was for her. Susanna’s resistance crumbled.

She spread her hands. “As you wish.”

Her new friend smiled triumphantly and clasped her hands together as if she had been given a gift, rather than the other way around.

When the seamstress finished her measurements, promising to have the alterations completed before dinner, Susanna turned her attention upon bathing and enjoying the luxury of having her hair styled again. After dressing in an apron-style gown similar to the one she’d borrowed yesterday, only this one of palest pink, she joined Esther in the parlor to await the captain’s visit. Dressed like a true lady, and in the company of her dear new friend, Susanna felt rather like Cinderella at a ball. With any luck, the magic wouldn’t end at the stroke of midnight.

In the parlor, she helped Esther sew beads onto a reticule while they chatted like old friends. Underneath it all, her nerves jumped as she anticipated the upcoming interview with her brother’s captain. Still, Esther’s charm and humor had her relaxing enough to share some girlish giggles.

A servant announced Captain Marshall. Susanna’s stomach flipped in all directions as she and Esther stood.

“Thank you for coming, Captain,” Esther said to the gentleman.

Captain Marshall bowed. With dark hair shot through with a few strands of silver and the craggy lines on his face of a sea captain, he looked like he might be anywhere from thirty to fifty, and was handsome in a comforting, fatherly sort of way. “I’m happy to be of assistance, Lady Daubrey.”

After Esther made the introductions and excused Lord Daubrey’s absence due to business, they sat. Susanna smoothed the skirt of her borrowed gown with trembling hands. She spared a grateful thought that she could receive this distinguished captain in a proper gown instead of the threadbare frock she’d worn before becoming the recipient of Esther’s generosity.

Captain Marshal addressed Susanna. “I understand you seek information about your brother, Miss Dyer.”

This was it—the moment she’d been anticipating. Her pulse leaped about like a crazed dancer. “Yes, sir. I received your letter, and I thank you for that. In addition, I was hoping you might fill me in on the details.”

He nodded. “It’s been my experience that people often harbor a hope that there has been some mistake regarding the death of the loved ones. Let me assure you that there is no doubt as to his fate; I identified his body and was present during your brother’s burial at sea.”

The news, though not unexpected, still hit her with such finality that her eyes burned. She nodded and stared at her hands. When she could speak, she managed, “I hadn’t really hoped otherwise. Not really.” Her voice broke. He was lost, then. Well and truly lost to her. Blinking and swallowing, she struggled to regain her composure.

Captain Marshall’s voice quieted. “He was a fine officer. I had just promoted him to the rank of second lieutenant, and he served with valor.”

She nodded again, still too emotional to speak.

Captain Marshall spoke in soothing tones. “He spoke of you often. When he received news of your parent’s death, he wrestled between the desire to return home to you, and his commitment to his duty as an officer. His choice to remain in the navy stemmed from his desire to protect his country—and his sister—from Napoleon’s dominion.”

Pity he hadn’t chosen to protect her from her aunt’s dominion! Still, she could not begrudge his desire to serve king and country.

She nodded. “I understand.”

“What you may not know is that only days before his last battle, he’d had a change of heart and had decided to return home to take his place as head of the household and care for you. I regret that he was unable to do so.”

She lifted her head. “He had?”

“Indeed. He had made that desire known to me.”

If only Richard had come home sooner, he would still be alive. They could have shared their grief over their parents’ death and created happy new memories together. Susanna would have been spared from living under her Aunt Uriana’s tyranny—she’d grown so much worse after news of her Richard’s death, probably because she no longer had any fear of censure.

Susanna crushed her handkerchief. “How…how did it happen? You said in your letter that it was during a sea battle, but if you know anything more…” She swallowed.

“He was below deck calling instructions to the gunners. We were hit broadside. Water started pouring in through the breach in the hull. Though he was wounded, he carried several of his injured shipmates to safety, and then waded back in to the flooded deck to help board up the hole until the carpenters could perform repairs. The exertion may have aggravated his injuries. He perished a short time later.” He paused. “He was a hero, Miss Dyer, and he served king and country with honor.”

She nodded and wiped tears running down her face. Esther took her hand and held it. Silently, the captain and Esther waited. There seemed nothing else to say.

Susanna straightened and offered
the captain a watery smile. “I thank you for seeing me, Captain. I am grateful to you.”

“I am happy to be of assistance. Please accept my condolences.”

After bidding the captain goodbye, Susanna went to her bedchamber and splashed water on her face. She stood bracing her hands on either side of the washbasin. What had she hoped to hear? That Richard was only missing and that he might someday come home? War took the lives of countless other brothers, fathers, sons, and husbands. Why should she believe she would be spared?

Esther entered and sat on an armchair drawn up to a small round table. “Would you like to talk about it?”

Susanna shook her head and reached for a towel to dry her face. Surely if she shared the feelings in her heart, she’d break down and sob all day. She pressed the towel over her face and took several deep breaths.

Esther studied her soberly. “If you aren’t feeling quite the thing, we can forego our visit to the museum.”

“No, that’s not necessary. I suspect a diverting outing is exactly what I need.”

Despite her brave words, the last thing she wanted to do was put on a smile and pretend to enjoy herself. Still, she was a guest out of Esther and Daubrey’s charity. She owed it to her kind hostess to follow through on their plans.

Esther smiled gently and gestured to the bed where some clothing lay. “I see the alterations for your spencer and pelisse are completed.”

Susanna nodded and moved to the bed as Esther held up the spencer so Susanna could slip her arms into the short, jacket-like garment. After fastening the mother-of-pearl buttons, Susanna faced Esther to get her opinion.

“Lovely. I do adore you in blue. It brings out the color of your eyes, and that spencer dresses up that plain apron-style gown nicely. You really have such a lovely complexion.” She helped Susanna into the plum-colored pelisse and donned one of her own. “Ready?”

They left the house together. Despite the gloom in Susanna’s heart, she cheered after only moments in Esther’s exuberant company. They visited the British Museum where Esther acted as an informative tour guide. Later, they strolled along Wapping. Finding that it was low tide, they descended down the waterman’s steps and explored the beach of the Thames. Other people scavenged for coal and other items that washed up—among them an old cup, a broken tea pot, several bottles, and even a battered shoe.

Remembering the man who’d tried to seize her, Susanna glanced about. This would be a terrible place for him to find her. She was exposed along the water. He could easily leap out from one of the buildings, snatch her, and spirit her away. She cast a glance at the coachman and footman waiting on the road. Would they lend a hand if she were in danger?

“Oh, and I simply must have some new perfume.” Esther’s announcement broke into her thoughts. “Shall we return to the coach, or do you wish to remain longer?

“I’m ready to return.” Hopefully, Susanna didn’t sound too eager.

Still glancing about, Susanna gratefully returned with her friend to the coach. Inside the perfumer, the combination of scents created a chaotically delightful bouquet—everything from fruits such as apples and oranges, to spices like cinnamon and vanilla and bergamot, to flowers, some of which were labeled with names she had never heard of nor could she identify by their smell.

“As a rule, I like undertones of lavender,” Esther said. “I want something else to liven up my usual scent. I’m not sure about the blend I want.”

As Esther agonized over the types and proportions of scents, aided by a perfumer, a grandfatherly sort of man, Susanna handed her a bottle. “Perhaps you could add a little cinnamon to brighten it.”

Esther sniffed and smiled. “Yes, that’s better. I’ll take one with this combination,” she said to the perfumer. “And something else…something…new. What do you like, Susanna?”

They experimented until they finally settled on a blend of gardenia, vanilla, and sweet orange.

Esther took a whiff. “It fits you perfectly.”

“Me?” Susanna shook her head. “Oh, no. We are in search of a new fragrance for you.”

“This your fragrance—exotic, yet soft.”

Susanna almost laughed out loud. She’d never considered a country bumpkin exotic. If only Kit viewed her that way, maybe he’d think of her as a woman instead of a pathetic child in need of rescue.

Oh dear. She was quickly losing her heart to him. While he’d always been so kind and attentive, she had no reason to believe he had any true feelings for her. Why would he? Years of her aunt telling her she was stupid and backward and ugly had eaten away at Susanna’s confidence until she had little left. What if her aunt were right? Perhaps they would have loved her and treated her like a member of the family if she had been pretty and graceful and accomplished in something—anything—other than the harp.

“My friend will take one of this blend in a throwaway,” Esther said, “and she’s not going to argue with me about a little gift such as this.” Esther shot Susanna a stern look and
addressed the patient perfumer.

Susanna opened her mouth and snapped it shut. Meekly, she said, “Thank you.”

Smiling triumphantly, Esther paid for their purchases while a shop girl poured the customized perfumes into tiny scent bottles and put stoppers on the ends.

Susanna fingered the glass cylindrical bottle decorated with hand-painted gilt. “These are called throwaways?”

Esther smiled. “I don’t know if everyone throws them away, but their rounded bottoms make it impossible to stand them up, and they tend to roll all over the dresser, so once the perfume is gone, most people discard them. If you like the blend you’ve customized, we’ll come back and buy a larger bottle of it.”

Susanna wouldn’t dream of asking Esther to buy a large bottle of expensive perfume but she nodded anyway. At Esther’s urging, Susanna opened the cork stopper on her sample and dabbed a little behind her ears as she had seen her mother do years ago.

Back inside the carriage, Esther stuck her feet out and pointed, then flexed her toes. “Are your feet as tired as mine?”

“A bit. It’s been a truly diverting afternoon.” Susanna let out a happy sigh. What a dear friend she’d found in Esther.