Heart Lies & Alibis (16 page)

Something was off about his whole demeanor. He stood leaning against the patio but refused to meet my eyes and hadn't said anything yet. His body language was distant, cooler, and when he finally spoke his tone was clipped. "Oh yeah, what were you thinking about exactly Reagan?" The tone was harsh and made me pause for a moment before I answered.

I swallowed. "Just some things. Nothing important. Is everything okay Declan? You seem a little upset." I looked at him as he continued to stare out at my backyard, his eyes refusing to meet mine and his body radiating more and more hostility.

"Nothing is wrong Reagan." He spun around, his face still hostile and cold. "Hey, I'm going to get a drink. Do you need anything?" His offer was anything but genuine so I shook my head holding my half full glass up as a reason for my refusal. He nodded curtly and headed in the house. I stared after him unsure what the hell had put him in such a foul mood.

I heard him flip a rocks glass over and pour a tall drink in one motion. Beer was his after-work choice for as long as he had been coming over, and seeing the bourbon almost sloshing out of the glass as he marched right past the open seat next to me let me know everything I needed to know about his mood. Something had gotten to him in a big way, and he was smoldering mad, ready to boil over, and now all of that was sitting in a chair facing me. His dark eyes were no longer sexy, just angry and hurt, and looking for a fight. He took a large sip of his drink without looking away from me, sizing me up in a way that had never happened. Something new and terrible had come between us and I felt my stomach tightening into defense mode. I decided to try to get out ahead of this shitstorm by confronting him.

"Declan, what's going on?" I kept my voice neutral but inside my heart thudded and my mind spun a thousand questions at once. What the hell had happened while he was gone to make him this upset?

His eyes bore deeper into mine swirling with emotion.

I set my glass on the table and leaned forward. I searched his face for an answer. "Talk to me Declan. Please. What's the matter?"

His icy glare met my confused one. "Okay Reagan. Let's talk. What do you think should we discuss exactly?" His tone was rough and sharp and caused me to jump a bit in my seat.

I retreated back from the sting of his vicious words. "Why are you so angry with me? What did I do?"

He chortled loudly before he jumped out of his chair and started pacing like he had that first night in his bedroom when I had told him I was still married. "Why? Why she asks? Well let's see. Maybe because the woman I think I might be falling in love with lied to me." He continued to pace, his words spilling over me in the quiet night. "Wait. Let me correct that. She lied to me again after she asked, no she demanded, I always be truthful with her. Or perhaps I am upset because I watched while this same woman also lied to the police about not seeing her ex-husband the night he was killed. What do you think Reagan? Do any of these reasons give me a right to be just a bit angry with you?" He stopped pacing, his hands gripping the back of the chair, while he glared at me waiting for an answer.

What exactly did he know and how had he found out? Oh god. This day just kept getting worse. "What are you talking about Declan?"

He his eyes darkened and his jaw clenched in anger. "Don't play ignorant with me Reagan and please do us both a favor and don't lie to me again either. I deserve better than that." Ouch. That was like a slap in the face.

I rubbed my face in resignation and frustration. I had to tell him something because he apparently already knew some of what had happened but not everything. I had spent so much of my life hiding my past, protecting myself above all else, it was still hard to let someone else get close. But now my lies had hurt someone I loved and put my life in jeopardy. Maybe it was time to let some of the walls down and tell Declan the truth. "What do you know about last night?" I asked my eyes meeting his.

His face lost some of its anger and instead looked sad. "Thank you for not denying anything right away. I saw your phone log of the calls you made and received. I know he called you yesterday. And I heard his voice mail, asking you to meet him at the park where he was killed so I know the real reason you went to the park. What I want to know, is what the hell happened that night Reagan? Did you actually meet Thad or not?"

Without confirming or denying anything at first, I snapped at him. "How did you find out that information?" I asked pursing my mouth in a frown. I knew I was in the wrong for lying to him and keeping secrets but I didn't like being spied on, not even by someone who just admitted they might be in love with me. Or because they had a good reason to do it. My stubborn streak did not allow me to back down or give in right away.

His eyes stormed darker and his scowl increased. "Really? That's your response? To ask me, how did I get the information? I used to work for a security firm remember. I know how to find information. I lifted your phone from your purse when I left and took it back to my house so I could search it. I knew something was wrong with your story and I also knew you wouldn't tell me right away what had happened but I needed to know what you were hiding if I was going to be able to help you." My mouth dropped slightly open in shock. How had I not noticed my phone missing?

He continued, his face still a mask of anger and hurt. "And let's be honest here, it wasn't like it was really hard to scroll through your phone log or access your voicemail. Why did you lie to me Reagan? And why the hell did you lie to the police? Jesus Christ Reagan, this is bad. What the hell did you do?" I dropped my head in shame. Things were out of control and I was in trouble.

Declan was right. About everything. I had been so stupid to think I could tell so many lies without any consequences. "Nothing. I did nothing Declan. I have no idea who killed Thad or why. You have to know that. And when I said I didn't even see Thad last night and that was the truth. I went to the park but he never showed up to meet me. I didn't tell you because I felt like an idiot for trusting him after what he did last week in his office and all the other stuff that has happened. I went because I felt a professional obligation to see him when he insisted the meeting was to discuss some of our biggest clients." Declan was watching me, his eyes still narrowed and I could tell my explanation wasn't making much of a difference to him. Hearing it with my own ears, the decision to meet Thad at the park sounded reckless and stupid.

I pushed on. "And then after Thad's performance here the other night, I knew he wasn't your favorite person so I didn't want to have any more friction between us over him. I thought the meeting really wasn't a big deal when he didn't show. It wasn't the first time he had made plans and then failed to show. I wasn't as concerned for his safety last night as I was pissed off at myself for letting him make me feel like a fool again. Until we found out he was killed." If Declan had found that information so easily, how hard would it be for the cops to find it? Not hard at all.. Why had I been so careless and reckless? I was a lawyer for Christ's sake. I should have known better than to leave such an easy trail to follow.

"And hey, just so we are clear, I don't appreciate that you stole my phone and invaded my privacy, you know. Why didn't you just ask me what you wanted to know?" I gave him an annoyed look.

"So let me get this straight," Declan said as he hunched down slightly and put his elbows on his knees, hands outstretched, "you can dig through just about anything you find in my house, freak out about what you find, feel betrayed and just about dump me outright on the spot but I have to respect your privacy? And this is after I shared all of the details of my past, and I mean all of it Reagan, you start creating a string of lies I can't even begin untangle, and for what? What the hell are you hiding? I knew you were lying and wouldn't come clean unless I forced your hand, so here we are. It's your move now." He sat back upright with his head slightly cocked to one side. He was pissed, hurt, confused, and I could see clearly now he was wrestling with the idea that I was not as good a person as I had pretended to be.

He walked over and took a seat on the edge of the chair to my right, leaned toward me and asked in a hard, no nonsense tone. "Are you going to tell me exactly what is going on now? And only the truth this time." His eyes added a silent threat that more lies would be the end for us.

He had me there too. I had been caught doing exactly what I told him he couldn't do. I let my breath out in a long sigh. "You're right Declan. About everything. And I'm sorry I lied to you earlier but I panicked when I heard Thad had been killed. I knew I would be the prime suspect, the jilted wife and all, and I didn't know what to do." And then I told him the real story of what happened the previous night, including the information about me discovering my butterfly blade was missing and the car I had seen at the park.I finished by explaining him the reason why I owned the knife in the first place. He clenched his jaw as I spoke and I could feel his anger flare anew with each detail. When I was done he sat back, picking up his glass and emptying his drink in one swallow. He looked at me, his face a mixture of anger and confusion. But also etched with deep concern. I hadn't lost him from my lies after all. He still cared.

He slammed his glass down, causing me to jump again and when he finally spoke his voice still held a degree of his earlier displeasure with me but I could tell he was softening just a bit. "First Reagan, I am so sorry those things happened to you when you were a kid. You never deserved feeling scared or needing to protect yourself from some piece of shit." His eyes looked into mine for a moment and I felt protected for the first time in many years. "But I have to tell you, this doesn't look good Reagan. I wish you had told me earlier about everything so I could have helped you before the police questioned you. The damage is done so we'll have to see what happens as the investigation moves forward. And you are sure your blade is missing?" I nodded and his shoulders slumped before he stood up. He looked as tired as I felt.

"I'm going to get another drink and. one's coming for you too. I'm pretty sure that's the extent of what we can do about any of this tonight. But first, I need is to have you in my arms." I stood up from the swing and grabbed his hand like a lifeline as he pulled me close. He was still hurt and the pain hung between us like a dark cloud but s we took long, slow, and silent breaths together I realized that not only had I been forgiven, I also had someone with me in this fight. And for tonight that was enough.

Chapter 11

The next day passed in a blur. It was a Monday so I had gone to the office to speak with the other partners in the firm, Thad's accountant and a few other business associates. Because our divorce hadn't been finalized I was still responsible for all the details of his death. I noticed Amberley had taken the day off and I thought it was a wise choice on her part. At this point, I couldn't guarantee I would have been able to control myself around her.

When I left the firm and headed to my car something down the block caught my eye. I watched closer to see what had drawn my attention just as a blonde stepped into a waiting car at the curb. The car looked very similar to the one I had seen at the park the night Thad was murdered and the glimpse I got of the blonde made me think of Amberley. I watched for a minute trying to determine if it was the same car and if that had really been Amberley I had seen or if my exhausted mind was just playing tricks on me. The car turned too quickly at the corner for me to be certain so I just wasn't sure what I had seen. I filed the information away to be dealt with at a later time.

I was exhausted and ready to crawl in my bed and sleep for a week when I finally got home. Declan was at my house and we talked briefly while he got ready for work. He asked about the day and I recounted all the details of the many meetings I had endured. He offered words of support but I just wanted to go to bed and forget everything.

He was still a bit distant when he left for work and I honestly wasn't sure if I would see him that night when he got off. I didn't blame him for what he was feeling or if he needed some time away from me. My roller coaster life was definitely in a dip right now and I could only hope it would come out of it soon. He gave me a quick kiss and walked out the door. I sighed after he left and trudged to the kitchen.

I scanned the contents of my nearly bare fridge though I knew I didn't want food. My appetite had been nonexistent since my meeting with the police the day before and I didn't see it returning anytime soon. Instead, I poured a glass of wine and walked upstairs. A long, hot bath sounded like the best cure for this god awful day.

I filled the tub, adding a large capful of the bubble bath I loved. I stripped out of my clothes and slid into the warm water. I closed my eyes and tried to calm my racing mind. I was more exhausted mentally, emotionally and physically from the past few weeks than I could remember ever being in my life. How had things gotten so crazy so fast? I lay in the tub until the water turned chilly, my mind filled with a constant stream of questions and worries. I let the water down the drain, took a quick shower to get the bubbles off, and climbed out of the tub.

After I toweled off, I pulled on a t-shirt Declan had left at the house. It smelled like his wonderful scent and I needed to feel like he was near tonight more than ever. I brushed my teeth, drug a comb through my hair, and was relieved to finally climb into bed. Maybe sleep would bring me some mental relief. I fell into a deep slumber almost as soon as my head hit the pillow. I awoke with a start when I felt the bed move under someone else's weight. Trying to pull myself fully out of the throes of sleep, I turned and let out a startled squeak at seeing a dark figure sitting on my bed.