Heart in the Field (33 page)

           
“Couldn’t you escape?”

           
“I did think of getting in my car
and just driving away, but it’s not that easy. Besides, he changed after they
left. He was all charm. He said he’d got rid of them. He was going straight. He
was going to try the marriage thing from the start once more.
That I should show him how to act like a real husband, not like an
animal.
He was a different person.”

           
“We went out to restaurants
together. He liked to spend money. He went on fishing trips, real fishing
trips. He bought home fish and he cooked it for me. He is quite a good cook. He
has a good imagination. He can be very creative when he wants to be. And he was
being creative.
With me.
I knew down in my heart that
he was conning me, and that he’d conned me all along. I’d been a way for him to
get out of prison, an easy cover for him to live under when he was out.” Angela
bowed her head. “I feel so damn stupid.
So gullible.
And I really don’t know where to go from now on.”

           
“Do you still love him?”

           
“I don’t know anymore.”

           
The floor director cut them there.

           
Angela wanted to leave right away.
She’d promised Max she would see him.

           
“Are you sure you are safe?” Nick
asked.

           
“Safer than I was six months ago,
because I know the truth now. It gives me a certain power.”

           
“When this is aired, he’ll know,”
Serena told her. “Things will burst open. You’ll be in danger.”

           
“I don’t think so. He never watches
TV. That’s why I decided to go on as myself.”

           
“But because you decided to go on as
yourself, that means you want something to happen,” Serena said.

           
“I want it to end. I had to get it
all off my chest. I’ve shared it with someone.”

           
“A few million people,” Nick said.

           
She shrugged. “I’ve done it in
style.”

           
She went then, and Nick and Serena
returned to the studio to watch the interview. Angela’s revelations weren’t
extraordinary, but behind every word was a scream for help.

           
Her scream stayed with Serena, and
she felt very nervous about airing the show. She wished they could cancel it.
She didn’t like what she’d started. But Nick seemed excited about Angela’s
story. He was hoping to get Lawson put back in prison because of it. Serena
couldn’t very well back down now. What kind of journalist would back down on a
good story? One who liked happy
endings.
Herself.

           
She was even more nervous on
Thursday evening than she’d been throughout her entire career. Her stomach felt
tied in knots. She shared dinner with Nick, but she didn’t eat any of her
chicken. Nick polished it off for her.

           
They took a cab back to Steel TV. “I
have stage fright,” she told him.

           
“To which you are entitled. I’m just
hoping this won’t put Angela in any danger.”

           
She felt the same way. She knew that
this story had come about because she had wanted to stay one step ahead of
Nick. She hadn’t wanted him to consider her a lousy journalist. She hoped she
hadn’t been too selfish in her motives for pushing her friend to do the
interview.

           
The program was edited with surreal
clips of jail life, using an actor for Angela’s husband. It was a decisive
interview, and Serena was pleased with the result, so she was surprised the
next day when the
Neon Nights
edition made little news. Serena went off to perform a
pre-Christmas tea pouring, trusting that the interview would be a catharsis for
Angela, nothing more.

•

           
Nick’s parents’ were looking through
a number of real estate listings. One bungalow was part of a retirement home
complex, and Nick was pushing for that. Medical
staff were
on call, and there was a recreation room. He knew his parents weren’t sociable,
but they might be forced to be if they had the means at their disposal. After
dealing with his parents, Nick drove home in the dark with a touch of snow
brushing the windshield. Feeling tired, and knowing he had to stay alert for
the slippery streets, he pushed the radio button as he stopped at a traffic
light.

           
“She was interviewed this week by
Serena Brown on the public affairs show
Neon
Nights
. Serena is the daughter of
Reeva
Brown-
Carstairs
, who made
her resignation from politics known on the same program. In other news …”

           
Nick punched buttons. What the hell
was happening? Why was Serena on a news cast? Come on, someone give him the
whole story. No wonder he disliked five second, blabbermouth news. You missed
the item and it was gone forever. He didn’t even have a computer at his
disposal.

           
He heard nothing for the rest of the
way home. He parked the car, rushed upstairs and turned on his computer and the
TV.
Nothing on the internet.
On the TV were sitcoms,
international news, cop shows, hospital shows.
Steel TV.
The real news.
Evening news anchor Paula
Tatchkoff
was babbling about something that wasn’t what
Nick wanted to know. His cell phone rang.

           
“Yes.”

           
“It’s Serena, Nick. I’ve just
arrived at Steel. We have to go down to Niagara.
Angela’s being held hostage by Lawson.
The police
think you and I might be able to help. I had a feeling this might happen. It’s
my fault.”

           
“Cut that crap for a start, sweetie.
I’ll be right there. Grab a van.”

           
“We’ve got one. Paul’s driving.”

•

           
The first snow of the season was
storming in over the Great Lakes on a weather front from the Ohio Valley.
It caused a tie up on the Niagara section of the

           
Serena sat beside Paul in the front.
Nick was in the back, and she knew Nick was restless and would rather be
driving. He leaned his arms on the back of her seat and she could feel the
tension in him. But Paul was skilled in snow. He
detoured
the freeway on a back road that was treacherous but absent of heavy traffic.

           
Because of the insistent snow fall,
Angela’s road had narrowed to one lane. Paul negotiated the van to where there
was a mass of police cars and flashing lights. An ambulance and a fire engine
stood waiting to perform any emergency services that might be needed.

           
Steel TV was already there.
Juliette, in a purple leather coat with a big fur collar, was doing the
reporting. “To bring you up to date on what is happening. Angela Thomson, the
wife of alleged killer Alan Wayne Thomason, who is also known as Lawson
Thomson, is being held hostage by her husband. This hostage taking has
allegedly come about because of last night’s interview on
Neon Nights
. Hosts of
the show, Serena Brown and Nick Fraser, are on the scene now. It is known that
Serena is a personal friend of the victim.”

           
“A great friend I am,” Serena
murmured as they prepared for a briefing by the police.

           
A slim man with a moustache,
Detective Smith, told them, “He’s telling us that he’s been victimized by his
wife and that she misrepresented him on TV last night. He insists he isn’t a
murderer. He wants a public apology from his wife,
which
she won’t give, and he will let her go when, and only when, he’s assured he
won’t be re-arrested. He has to be a free man.”

           
“How can we reassure him of that?”
Serena asked. “He’s going to be arrested, isn’t he?”

           
“He’ll have charges pending for this
hostage incident.”

           
“I just want you to get her out of
there.”

           
“That’s what we’re trying to do, Ms.
Brown. Don’t think we want a dead woman on our hands.”

           
Nick put his hand on her shoulder.
“True, Serena.”

           
She glared at him. “This is your
fault.”

           
“It was your idea.”

           
“I know. But you pushed me. I
wouldn’t have bothered to execute it if I hadn’t felt I needed to be better
than better.”

           
He shook his head. “That’s your
personality. I can’t help that. But right now, we have Angela in that house, in
danger.”

           
Detective Smith said, “He’s phoning
from the house every once in a while. Next time he calls, I want Ms. Brown to
talk to him. Tell him that if he brings Angela out then negotiations will be
made, but not until his wife is safe.”

           
The snow stopped and the night grew
silent, eerie. The flashing lights of the vehicles floated across the sky and
the air grew crisp. Serena tightened the scarf around her neck.

           
Juliette stomped her booted feet
beside her.

           
“Well, it’s very quiet in there,”
Juliette said. “Do you think she’s still alive?”

           
“She better be,” Serena snapped.

           
“Okay. Don’t get your back up at me.
It wasn’t me who interviewed her.”

           
The detective’s phone rang. It was
Lawson or Alan. The phone was handed to Serena.

           
“Let her go, Alan. She’s only ever
tried to help you.”

           
“You don’t believe that garbage she
spilled on your show, do you?” It was the droning hypnotic voice from the
answering machine.

           
“Alan, let her go and then we will
negotiate for your release.”

           
“I don’t believe a word you say, you
smiley bitch.”

           
The phone went dead. She sighed and
handed the detective his phone. “I want to talk to him again.”

           
They waited. Some more press arrived
from surrounding cities. A TV crew from Buffalo,
New York, grilled the police.
Serena wanted to rush in and save Angela, like some super heroine in a movie,
but she knew she would only put Angela’s life in more danger. She shivered and
pushed her hands deep into the pockets of her quilted jacket.

           
The phone rang again. Serena spoke
to Alan once more, but he had the same clear needs. Release, no more prison
terms, and he’d let Angela free. They went to sit in the van with the heater
blasting. The temperature was sliding down into the night. Serena became
fascinated by watching the cold air curl over the area. Lights still flashed.
People’s breath rose white. She thought it was breath or steam. Then she
realized it was smoke coming from the house.

           
“It’s on fire,” she said, and leapt
from the van. She heard Paul and Nick coming after her. Paul had his camera
going.

           
It was chaos, sirens, people
running, fire engines emptying hoses into the burning house. Angela was brought
out by a fireman. She was wrapped in a blanket and ushered into an ambulance,
which took off as fast as the snow would allow.

           
Serena waited for Alan Wayne
Thomason to appear but he never did.

Chapter Nineteen

There was
little snow in Toronto.
A few streaky lines of white alongside the curbs and a chill
wind.
Serena shivered as Paul parked in the Steel lot, and Nick gave her
a reassuring pat on the shoulder. She shook her head at him.

           
“What did I start?”

           
“A news story.”

           
They went up to the fifth floor news
room. The station was staying on air tonight, to keep viewers up-to-date on the
hostage taking. All the monitors flashed pictures of the scene they had left at
Angela’s house. Serena saw Angela being taken to hospital. She pushed up the
sleeves of her sweater, prepared to stay for the night, if she had to. “Any
news on how she is?”

           
“Nothing yet,” she was told by
Melissa. “Do you want coffee or hot chocolate? I’m taking orders.”

           
“Hot chocolate sounds wonderful.”

           
Serena glanced over to where Nick
was working with Paul, who had some extra pictures from the incident. Nick was
intent on helping Paul and she realized that he loved his work. He loved getting
his hands dirty with gritty news. Besides, it was Nick who had been the
catalyst for her own changes.
Nick who had forced her to face
her father’s desertion.
Nick who had taken away her
loneliness and replaced it with joy.
Nick who had
urged her to stretch herself away from safe news.
If nothing ever came
of their relationship, she would always remember him. And love him.
Deeply.

           
Melissa returned with the cups of
chocolate. Serena perched on a stool and sipped the hot, creamy liquid.

           
“We’re going to run a news break,” a
man called out.

           
Juliette was still outside the
burned out wreck of the house. Her face was beginning to look very cold and
pinched. “We’ve had a report that Angela Thomson is out of danger. She has been
treated for smoke inhalation and a few minor burns to her body. There has been
no word on Alan Wayne Thomason also known as Lawson Thomson. There have been
reports that someone was seen running from the rear of the house, but that has
been unconfirmed. The fire department is going in to sift through the wreckage.
To give you more in-depth knowledge of this case we have an interview with
Angela’s mother, Gwyneth Evans.”

           
“Her mother,” Serena said. “Trust
her to come on to the scene now. All she wants is fame, I suppose.”

           
Nick perched beside her and peeled
off the lid of his own chocolate. “They’ll come out of the woodwork now. How do
you feel?”

           
“I want a conclusion. I want to know
what the hell has happened to Alan.”

           
“He might be dead.”

           
“Then should I feel guilty because
Angela was my friend and now she has no home or husband?”

           
“It was Angela’s choice.”

           
Serena rubbed her forehead. “Yes. I
suppose. But she still cared about him on some level. I know you don’t know
about that type of caring, but I felt that she really did love him.”

           
“Don’t blame yourself.”

           
“I’m not, but I’ll always feel
responsible.”

           
The news became a re-run of the
night’s events. Angela wasn’t speaking until she’d been interviewed by the
police.

           
Nick suggested they go to his
apartment for the rest of the night. He could tell Serena was reluctant to
leave the television station but she looked worn out and he was beginning to
get concerned for her.

•

           
Serena used the adjoining bathroom
to his bedroom, where she kept some of her things, so Nick went along to the
other one. When he returned she was tucked into the bed. He slipped in naked
beside her and turned off the lamp. For a few seconds they lay beside one
another, and he could hear her light breathing. Then her breathing became more
agitated and turned into sobs.

           
He was surprised to hear her cry.
She wasn’t a woman to cry very often. Tears weren’t one of her weapons. So when
she cried, the hurt must be from deep inside her. He turned to her, and she
came to his arms and he felt her tears dampen his bare shoulder.

           
He stroked her back. “It’s okay.”

           
She raised her face to his and he
kissed away the tears. When he reached her mouth, her lips clung to his, the
way she’d always clung to him since the first kiss in her kitchen on the night
of Don’s soirée. He couldn’t resist her when she was so eager, and he let her
move astride his body. He found her beautiful, sad and frustrated with the
agony of the night, and his hands rode down over her breasts to her undulating
hips. Serena let out strangled sobbing sounds and she took him before he took
her. Then he rolled her over and poured his own frustration and a lot of love
into her.

           
When Serena awoke, her head felt as
if someone had pounded it with a hammer. Nick wasn’t beside her. She flung her
arm across his empty pillow and gazed out of the apartment window at the silver
sky.

           
She heard Nick on the phone in the
other room. When he came to the bedroom door, his face was unshaven and he was
wearing jeans and an old gray sweatshirt. He held the cordless phone in his
hand. “Angela’s doing fine. Max is with her at the hospital. The police have
set up an interview with her later. Steel TV is making a big thing of our
ordeal, but everywhere else it’s getting a small mention.”

           
Serena sat up in bed and reached for
a scarlet flannel shirt of Nick’s she used when she stayed with him. She pushed
her arms into it and climbed out of bed. “What about Alan?”

           
“They found his body in the
wreckage.”

           
“Oh, poor Angela.
Do you think he set the fire?”

           
“Who
knows.
Nobody is saying too much until Angela has said her piece.”

           
A hot shower eased Serena’s
headache. She stood beneath the spray feeling terrible. She was with Nick and
she loved him so much, but she knew he wasn’t going to last. She was pleased
Angela was safe, but she would always remember the terrifying situation she had
put her friend into. Angela’s husband was dead, the man Angela had loved for a
long part of her life. Serena pushed her fists into her eyes and let the tears
well behind her fingers. Then she just leaned against the shower wall and cried
until there was nothing left.

           
Nick went into Steel with Serena
that afternoon but he didn’t feel as if they were together any more. She was
very cool and self-contained. He couldn’t equate her with the naked, sobbing
woman in his arms this morning in bed. He never knew quite how desperate was
his love for her until she began to slip away from him.

           
When they reached the suite Don was
there, thrilled with all the publicity the Angela story had brought Steel.

           
“You can provide the dramatics next
time,” Serena informed Nick.

           
He shoved his hands into the back
pockets of his jeans. “I hope this doesn’t mean you’re not going to have any
more story ideas.”

           
She touched her neck beneath her
upswept hair. “No. But I’ll be more careful.”

           
“Careful has no edge.”

           
“I don’t like living on the edge.
Maybe it’s okay for you. You’re used to it. But I’m used to having my life
under control.”

           
“When did you come up with this? You
were losing control last time I saw you.” He’d noticed that her makeup had been
applied with extra care to hide red swollen eyes.

           
“I just had to get a few things out
of my system. I think I’ll go down to five to see what’s happening.”

           
Nick let her go. One day, he was
going to have to learn how to let her go forever.

•

           
Angela’s interview proved dramatic.
Gradually the newscasts pared down her comments to: “He was smoking and he lit
his cigarettes with
a butane
lighter. He put the
lighter down when he was on the phone and I grabbed it. Another time he was on
the phone I snapped the lighter and threw it at the curtains. He was furious.
He began to scream curses at me. But the house was burning, the smoke got too
much and I—don’t remember much more.”

           
Serena went back to her office and
phoned the hospital, where she managed to get through to Angela.

           
“It’s not your fault, Serena,”
Angela told her. “You just happened to come along at an appropriate time. And I
used you as my vehicle to free myself.
Even if I am a little
sad.”

           
“That’s a pretty good
rationalization,” Serena told her. “So what are you going to do now?”

           
“Get a place with Max for a while.
Then maybe go back into journalism. Maybe I’ll end up at Steel.”

           
“That would be great.”

           
“And my mother is back in my life.
She came to visit me. She lost touch with me. It’s kind of strained, but it
might work. Max is quite happy about it. Anyway, I get out of here tomorrow and
I start my new life. Thank you.”

           
“Let’s keep in touch this time.”

           
“We will. And be good to Nick. I
really liked him.”

           
Be good to Nick, Serena thought when
she’d hung up. How could she, when she lived a lie with Nick? Everything in her
life almost formed a full circle, except for Nick.

           
She closed up her office, went out
to the parking lot and climbed into her Jeep. All she wanted to do was go home.
There she would make her decisions.

•

           
When Nick found Serena gone, he went
home. Well, he’d achieved everything he had set out to achieve. He’d set his
parent’s move into motion. He’d got a hit news show. He’d had great sex with
Serena Brown.

           
He slumped into a chair. But he
wasn’t satisfied, not nearly satisfied. He’d pretty much told her not to love
him, and she didn’t. He scrubbed his eyes. Damn. He’d been a fool. He should
have just told her to fall in love with him and then they’d both be in love
with each other and he could marry her. He knew now that’s what he wanted. He
wanted to stay home, write a book or two, marry Serena and be with her forever.
By not telling Serena that he loved her he was repeating the way he’d reacted
to his parents and he was denying himself a loving life.

           
At their weekly Monday morning
meeting he felt like something was closing in on him when he saw Serena. He
knew, because she wore one of her pinstriped suits, that something was up. She
had a very determined look on her face. After the meeting he went into his
office, and wasn’t surprised when she followed, closed the door, and stood in
front of him.

           
“I want to break up with you.
For good this time.
We’ll tell our parents, so we won’t be
manipulated into any more social occasions together.” Her words were fast,
succinct, as if she’d rehearsed them.

           
Nick didn’t blame her for her
decision, but he felt his stomach shrivel even tighter. Everything inside his
head throbbed.
“Reason?”
It was the only word he could
get out without letting her hear the emotion gathering in his chest. His
fingers clenched inside his pockets.

           
She wet her lips with her tongue.
“You know what the reason is. I can’t—” For the first time he heard her voice
waver. She cleared her throat. “Why do you need a reason? We were having an
affair heading to nowhere, and I don’t want it to continue. Isn’t that enough
of a reason? There’s nothing in it for me. No pay off.”

           
“It’s only since this Angela thing.”
He heard his voice sound gruff and unfamiliar.

           
“Don’t blame Angela for us. We were
manipulated back together after my last decision to split. So we’re over that
silly gossip. Now we can break up.”

           
He couldn’t argue with her because
he couldn’t speak without begging, his nails were biting into his palms inside
his pockets. He moved past her without seeing anything. He had to get out of
Steel, far away from Serena. He was on the way to a major breakdown.