Heart (4 page)

Fudge forgotten, Seb kissed the soft skin of Dex’s pale white throat, tentatively at first, then with more purpose as Dex let go of the paddle and sucked in a sharp breath.

He should stop, he knew he should stop, but somehow the voice of reason faded away to nothing as he supported Dex’s slim frame and absorbed the warmth from his body.

Dex remained silent and pliant in his arms, the only sign he was enjoying Seb’s attentions the subtle, rhythmic roll of his hips. Then he shuddered and let out a breathless moan, slumping forward and dropping his hands to the kitchen counter, the motion pushing his lower body back into Seb’s groin. “Oh God, oh God. I didn’t come here for this.”

Seb got ahold of himself and loosened his grip. “It’s not why I asked you to come, I swear.”

Dex caught him as he moved away. “Don’t stop. Please.”

Perhaps it was the plaintive edge to his voice, or the simple fact that he was begging for something Seb had been craving for months, but a heartbeat later, something exploded between them.

Seb pulled Dex to him and kissed him. Dex fell slack in his arms and kissed him back with a ferocity that belied his slim, fragile frame.

They tore at each other’s clothes. Dex’s slipped easily away from him and revealed a number of boot-shaped imprints on his back that stopped Seb in his tracks.

“What the—?”

Dex cut him off with another crazed kiss. “Don’t look at them.”

He shoved at Seb’s underwear and took his hard, aching dick in his hand. With just a tiny flick of his wrist, he had Seb’s mind devoid of anything but being naked and desperate in the vanilla-scented heat of his kitchen.

Seb fumbled for the lube and condoms hidden fortuitously in a kitchen drawer from Carlos’s last visit. He shook one out. “Top or bottom?”

The question seemed to confuse Dex. He stared at the condom before pushing it away and back toward Seb’s cock.

Top it is, then.

It suited Seb… felt right. He usually bottomed, but with Dex, he wanted to be inside him, to possess every inch of his fragile body.

Dex groaned and turned in his arms, leaning over the counter again. “Do it. I want you to fuck me.”

Seb knew all too well the pain and discomfort caused by a careless and inconsiderate top, so, despite the wild heat between them, he took a moment to prepare Dex for him, stretching him with his fingers, then easing his condom-covered cock in slow and gentle, inch by inch.

The pedestrian pace killed him, but it was Dex who ran out of patience first. He tightened his grip on the countertop and slammed his hips back, taking Seb all the way into him in a single, brutal thrust.

Seb gasped, absorbing the smooth heat of Dex tight around him. It had been… fuck, he didn’t even know how long it had been since he’d been inside another man. He’d forgotten what it felt like. How dizzying and consuming it was. “Easy,” he got out through stuttered breaths. “Am I hurting you?”

“No. God no. Don’t stop.”

Seb pulled out and pushed in again, and shuddered as a bolt of sensation tore through him. His shaking hands seemed huge around Dex’s slender hips, like the paws of an animal on its prey, but he couldn’t control the ever tightening, bruising grip.

Dex shuddered and arched his back. “
Oh
.”

Seb froze. Déjà vu swept over him. He looked down at Dex’s pale, bruised back, at his protruding hips and halo of white-gold hair, struck by a sudden, overwhelming certainty they’d done this before.

He faltered. No. That wasn’t possible. He’d never even seen Dex until he’d crept up on Seb that dark, dark night. Had he?

He wanted to laugh when he remembered the dirty dream he’d had that night and many nights after. Had it really been so long that he was confusing his wet dreams with reality?

But he didn’t laugh. He didn’t laugh, because once again, Dex got tired of waiting and took matters into his own hands.

Dex came upright and looped one arm around Seb’s neck, pulling him down for a fierce kiss. “Stop bloody thinking and fuck me.”

Seb didn’t need telling twice. He pushed Dex forward and slammed into him.

Dex cried out and widened his legs to steady himself.

His head hung low, his breath raw, ragged gasps. His legs shook, and before long, Seb was bearing the burden of holding them both up.

Seb bent and ran his tongue over Dex’s bruised back. It felt so good to be buried inside him. Too good, and for a moment, he was almost afraid, like the punch line was going to hit him way too hard.

Then Dex clenched around him and came in his hand, convulsing like he’d been hit by a train, and coherent thought abandoned him.

Seb chased his own orgasm as Dex slumped forward, spent. It was close, closer than he thought, and it roared through him and knocked him off-balance. As he groaned and pressed his face between Dex’s sweat-slicked shoulder blades, only Dex’s perilous grip on the counter kept them both upright.

Five

S
EB
RECOVERED
first. He peeled himself from Dex’s back and pulled out of him. Dex made a small, breathless noise of discontent. Seb grabbed a roll of kitchen paper, disposed of the condom, and wiped his hands. He was sated, and he’d come harder than he had in years, but the sense that his job wasn’t done niggled at him.

Gently, he roused Dex and pried his hands from the counter. “Come upstairs.”

He led Dex by the hand to his bedroom, and together, they fell onto the unmade bed and kissed until Seb found more lube and another condom. In the dim light of the room, he hooked Dex’s legs over his shoulders and slid into him again. Dex was only half-hard, but he pulled Seb over him and braced himself against the metal bedframe.

It didn’t take long for things to unravel again, and for a while, the only sounds in the room were the squeak of the bedsprings and the brutal thump of the metal frame hitting the wall. Orgasm hit Seb first this time. Sweat dripped down his chest and he came with a strangled shout. Beneath him, Dex arched his back, clawing at Seb, his eyes still wild and wanting, but he didn’t come.

Seb pulled out and took Dex in his mouth. Dex jumped, startled. Seb soothed him. He wanted Dex to feel as amazing as he did.

It didn’t take long. Orgasm seemed to take Dex by surprise, but Seb absorbed every jolt and shudder as he finished Dex off by hand. He often saw a cynicism in Dex that broke his heart, but like this, he almost looked innocent. Like he’d never felt anything like it.

Seb crawled up the bed, wiped Dex down, and pulled Dex tight against him. Dex was quiet, his labored breaths panting in time with Seb’s until he raised his head a little while later. “You made me come.”

Seb caught the disbelief in his tone and cracked an eye open. “Isn’t that the point?”

“I didn’t mean to the first time, and I didn’t expect you to….” Dex trailed off, like he thought he’d said too much.

Seb frowned and tightened his arms around him. “It wouldn’t be good for me if you didn’t come.”

Dex didn’t answer, and Seb wondered if he’d fallen asleep. Since the attack at the beach, he’d noticed signs of exhaustion in him—bloodshot eyes and sketchy concentration. He’d drifted back to his initial suspicions about drugs and addiction, but in the end, turned away from them. How many times had he looked at his own tired face and known all he needed was a good night’s sleep?

He ran his fingers through Dex’s sweat-dampened hair. “Can I ask you something?”

Dex raised his head again, his hawkish gaze more alert than it had been moments before. Was that suspicion, or just plain curiosity? “Go on.”

“Where are you from?”

“Here and there.”

“That’s pretty vague.”

“If you say so.”

“Are you a Traveller?”

Dex shrugged. “Traveller. Gypsy. Whatever you want to call it.”

“Where’s your family?”

“Somewhere else.”

Seb let it go. Some may have found it odd he’d taken a virtual stranger into his bed, but it was no different than the casual sex he’d shared with Carlos. He’d known next to nothing about the Portuguese fisherman, and he’d never much cared.

But even as the thought crossed his mind, he knew he was wrong. Everything about this was different. Dex was different. He wanted to know everything about him, and at the same time, nothing at all, because he was afraid of what Dex might tell him.

He rolled onto his side, facing Dex, who seemed suddenly nervous. Seb reached out and drew him closer, mashing their hot, sticky bodies together again, and wrapped his arms around him in a bruising, suffocating embrace. “You’re safe here,” he said quietly. “For as long as you want to be.”

Dex didn’t answer with words. Instead, he ducked his head and pressed himself so tight against Seb it almost hurt. They had sex one more time after that despite Seb’s concern that Dex had to be sore. He took Dex on his stomach this time, holding his arms over his head. It was slow and sweet, and Seb had barely pulled out before Dex was fast asleep.

Seb watched him for a while. In sleep, Dex appeared even younger than he did awake, and not for the first time, Seb felt an urge to protect sweep through him. He covered them both with the thin duvet he used in the summer months and stood guard over Dex until sleep came for him.

It was dark when he woke, but he knew without opening his eyes he was alone. He rolled from the bed and ran down the stairs, bare to the chilly night air, but the kitchen was empty, and he knew before he looked at the floor that Dex’s borrowed clothes would be picked up and folded neatly on the countertop. He looked anyway, and he
was
surprised to see the abandoned batch of fudge from the night before cut into perfectly equal squares and packed in the delicate boxes.

Seb’s chest hurt. A calling card or a good-bye? Either way, Dex was gone.

Six

S
EB
HAD
eyes like a stormy sea and dark, dark hair that curled damply behind his ears when he worked, cleaning up the kitchen at the shop, or tonight when he’d cooked up that huge pan of fudge at home.

Dex ran his fingers through Seb’s hair and found a perfect curl. He wanted to stick his finger in it to see if it held him tight… tight enough to stay here forever, but he didn’t. The night was fading away, and their time together had come to an end.

With a quiet sigh, Dex slid from the bed. It felt wrong to slip away from Seb while he slept, but awake, those blue eyes would break Dex in a heartbeat. Blue eyes, warm arms, and a gentle smile. God, it would be so easy to stay here forever.

But they didn’t have forever. The old world was calling Dex home, and he had to go. He pressed his lips to the pulse point in Seb’s neck.

I’ll never forget you.

Autumn 2012

D
EX
CURLED
up in the corner of the drafty caravan. It was late, well after midnight, but for him, the night had only just begun.

He pulled his coat tighter around him. In his hand, he clutched a pay-as-you-go phone, waiting for it to ring and a creepy voice to lure him out into the night with the promise of clammy hands and putrid breath. He shivered. The caravan was filthy and cold but, as his master liked to remind him, it was out of the heavy rain lashing the single window.

Dex closed his eyes and attempted sleep, knowing the buzz of the phone would wake him before long, but it was no good. Even alone and away from the rough hands of his keeper, he couldn’t find rest. Instead, he let his mind wander back in time to a summer he’d never forget, to those few short months that felt like a dream. Away from the Traveller sites, he’d been left to fend for himself, his only tie to hand his takings through the window of a dirty white van at the end of each day. Sleeping alone on the beach, without the weight of a dirty, stinking body over him, he’d had the time of his life.

And Seb. God, Seb. Some nights, Dex dreamed of him, but not of his face, or his body. No. The nights Seb came to Dex, he never saw him… never saw those deep blue eyes. Instead, he felt only the warmth of his touch seeping into his bones until he forgot what it was like to be cold. So cold his teeth ached.