Natalie frowned to herself. She thought that she could hear people in the background, people laughing and chattering. But it was always possible it was the television that Jan had put on to cheer herself up. ‘How was your weekend away?’ she asked brightly.
‘What weekend away?’
‘You know, the one you took just after we last met. You told me you were going to a retreat or something like that. What was it like? Did it do you any good?’
‘It was all right,’ said Jan hesitantly.
‘What do you mean, “all right”? I got the impression it was going to be something special.’
‘Did you? I don’t know why. It was just a weekend in the country.’
Natalie knew that Jan wasn’t telling her the truth. ‘If you say so,’ she said stiffly, annoyed at being lied to. ‘Well, shall I come round and see you tomorrow? I’ll bring some chicken soup and grapes.’
‘No, you can’t come tomorrow,’ said Jan. Now she sounded panic-stricken.
‘Why not? You’re not infectious, are you?’
‘My mother’s coming over.’
‘From Paris? You really must be ill.’ Natalie could hear that she was getting an edge to her voice and she knew that Jan must be able to hear it too.
‘Look, I can’t talk now,’ said Jan, suddenly lowering her voice. ‘We’d better meet after work one night next week.’
‘How about Tuesday?’ suggested Natalie.
‘No, sorry I can’t do Tuesday, I’ve got some friends coming round.’ ‘Anyone I know?’
‘No, people in the same line of business as me. I tell you what, Thursday’s clear. I’ll see you at our usual Italian place at seven o’clock, okay?’
‘You’re sure you can spare the time?’ asked Natalie coolly. At that moment she heard a man’s voice calling Jan. It was clear that he was impatient. ‘It sounds as though the doctor’s arrived,’ Natalie said sharply. ‘I’ll see you on Thursday’ With that she slammed down the phone. At least she’d made contact with Jan again, and it didn’t sound as though she’d done anything to offend her. What hurt was the realisation that Jan suddenly appeared to be having a far busier social life than Natalie was. She’d have to ask Jan about that when they met.
Jan put her cordless phone down on the kitchen worktop. Natalie couldn’t have rung at a worse time. She felt terrible about the way the conversation had gone, but she hadn’t been able to say any more because Richard had been standing right behind her, listening to every word.
‘Who was that?’ he asked, running a finger down her spine.
Wearing only a black leather thong and high-heeled shoes, Jan felt incredibly vulnerable – which was how
she was supposed to feel. It was also how she liked feeling, when she wasn’t at work. That was what they’d taught her at The Haven, and they’d taught her well. ‘No one you know,’ she said lightly. ‘Only a friend.’
‘And is your friend pretty?’ asked Richard, placing his hands on each side of her waist with his fingers splayed out over her belly.
‘Yes, but she wouldn’t interest you. She’s a high-powered businesswoman who likes to be in control of her men.’
‘Perhaps she should go to The Haven for a weekend,’ murmured Richard, his voice growing husky with desire. ‘We’re going upstairs now and while I’m making love to you, you’re going to describe her to me.’
‘I am not!’ retorted Jan.
She felt Richard’s left hand move to the nape of her neck and he gripped her tightly. ‘I hope you’re not going to slip back into your old ways, Jan,’ he whispered. ‘Don’t forget that the men are in charge here this weekend. As long as you do as we say, you receive as much pleasure as you can bear, remember?’
Her whole body tightened with desire. ‘Of course I remember,’ she whispered. Then she walked up the stairs in front of him, past other guests – some of whom reached out to caress her as she and Richard made their way to her bedroom. Once there she knew that soon, desperate to feel the delicious hot liquid pleasure rush through her, she would be doing as he’d said. She knew it was a betrayal of Natalie but, shamingly, the dark perversity of what she was about to do only increased her excitement.
Natalie arrived at Mario’s before Jan. Watching her friend arrive she noticed that Jan was looking tense. When Natalie waved to her, Jan’s answering smile
seemed strained. ‘Sorry I’m late,’ she said breathlessly, sliding into the seat opposite Natalie. ‘The damned casting session ran overtime, as usual.’
‘I’ve only been here five minutes,’ said Natalie. ‘I’ve ordered a bottle of the house red for us but thought I’d wait for you before I ordered any food.’
‘Fine,’ said Jan vaguely. ‘I’ll have the spaghetti al pomodoro.’ She then began to flick through her pocket diary.
Natalie decided to have the fresh pasta filled with spinach and ricotta in a tomato and basil sauce, her favourite meal at Mario’s. Since Jan showed no inclination to eat she had to catch the waiter’s eye and order for them both.
‘Don’t you ever get tired of having the same food?’ asked Jan, putting her diary away.
Natalie shook her head. ‘No, I know what I like.’
‘I thought I did.’ Jan’s tone was strange.
‘What do you mean?’
‘Nothing. How’s the magazine, then?’
‘Taking up far too much of my life, as usual. Philip’s dumped me, in case you wanted to know but didn’t dare ask.’
Jan looked sympathetically at her. ‘Bad luck. Did he say why?’
‘Oh, the usual stuff about not wanting to get involved, feeling that I deserved someone better. It’s not what he meant, of course. It went wrong the last time we had sex. I said that I wanted to be on top because my orgasms are always better that way and…’ She stopped as the waiter arrived and they both had to stifle their giggles. ‘He must have missed us,’ laughed Natalie as they began to eat. ‘I’m sure no one else has such interesting conversations.’
‘Go on with what you were saying,’ commanded Jan.
‘Oh, that. Yes, well, he didn’t like me saying that I knew best. He pretended that it was all right, that he liked a woman who knew her own mind and understood her own body. But it put him right off.’
‘You mean although you had a better time, he didn’t?’
Natalie nodded. ‘Exactly. God, the times that’s happened to me. Still, it’s happened to you too, hasn’t it? That’s some comfort to me. I’m not alone in this.’
‘No,’ murmured Jan.
‘Is that all you’ve got to say? Haven’t you got any interesting gossip for me? How’s
your
sex life at the moment?’
‘It’s okay,’ said Jan, with a shrug.
‘What do you mean, “okay”? Are you seeing someone special?’
‘No.’
‘Are you seeing anyone at all?’
‘Yes, now and again.’
‘Is there some reason why you can’t tell me about him?’ asked Natalie. ‘Is he married or something?’
‘No, it’s just that it isn’t very interesting.’
Natalie couldn’t believe her ears. ‘Your sex life’s
always
interesting. What’s the matter? You’re keeping something back from me, I know you are. Is this why you haven’t rung me since your weekend away? Did you meet someone dishy there, someone you want to keep secret?’
‘Oh Nat,’ said Jan sadly. ‘I wish I could tell you about it, but I can’t.’ She lowered her voice. ‘You see, it isn’t allowed.’
‘Isn’t
allowed?’
shouted Natalie.
‘Ssh!’
‘Why do you keep whispering and why have I got to keep my voice down? I don’t understand what’s happened to you,’ said Natalie. ‘You’ve changed
completely since we last met. Have I offended you or something?’
‘No, you haven’t done anything,’ said Jan firmly. ‘Please, can we just change the subject?’
Natalie sighed. ‘If that’s what you want. But the evening won’t be as much fun as usual. You’d better tell me about this place where you went for your weekend. You’re looking really well, so it must have done you good. Perhaps I should go there. Where is it?’
‘It’s, uhm … sort of in the country.’
‘That’s a
great
help. I should be able to find it easily from
that.’
‘I can’t tell you where it is,’ said Jan, the exasperation clear in her voice.
Never before had Natalie felt uncomfortable when she was with Jan. They’d always been like sisters, able to talk about anything and everything. Obviously, for reasons known only to Jan, that was no longer the case. Suddenly Natalie just wanted the meal to be over and to escape back to her flat. She felt incredibly hurt. ‘I think you’d better choose what we’re going to talk about,’ she snapped. ‘Nothing that I pick seems to be right.’
‘Nat, I
am
sorry,’ responded Jan, leaning over the table towards her friend. ‘I’d like to tell you, truly I would, but I’m not supposed to.’
‘Then don’t. I don’t think I want a pudding. Let’s just have coffee and then split, shall we?’
‘Oh, blow them,’ said Jan. ‘Listen, Nat.’ She dropped her voice. ‘I
will
tell you about my weekend away but you must never talk about it to anyone else. If you do, you’re going to ruin everything for me. So will you promise me that before I start?’
Now Natalie was intrigued. ‘Of course. You know me, I’m good at keeping secrets.’
‘Yes, well you’d better be because I’m risking everything in telling you this. The place I went to was called
The Haven. It’s in Sussex. A girl at work told me about it. You see, they don’t advertise. People have to hear of the place by word of mouth, and their names must be put forward by someone who’s already been before they can actually go there to stay.’
‘But why?’ asked Natalie in astonishment. ‘Do you have to be incredibly fit or something?’
‘Hardly, or I wouldn’t have got in. No, it’s really a weekend seminar.’
‘A business seminar? I don’t want a weekend away working. I want a break.’
‘It’s a seminar in sex.’
Natalie couldn’t believe her ears. ‘What on earth do you mean?’
‘Exactly what I say. People go there to learn how to fulfil their sexual potential, but it’s a very special kind of potential. You see, it’s for women like you and me, or for men who spend all their time controlling people at work. They teach you how to hand control over to your partner in order to gain your pleasure. I heard one of the tutors refer to it as “the haven of obedience”, which sums it up.’
‘I can’t believe I’m hearing this right,’ said an astonished Natalie. ‘You’re not telling me—’
‘For heaven’s sake keep your voice down.’ Jan looked nervously around her.
‘Sorry. You’re not telling me that you became a submissive, are you?’
‘Yes,’ confessed Jan. ‘It was incredibly difficult at first. To be honest, I didn’t think that I was going to make it through the first day and night but I was determined to try. Let’s face it, my sex life’s hardly been that wonderful, running it the way I wanted to, so what did I have to lose? Anyway, once I started to give in and do what they wanted me to, it was so fantastic that I just wanted to learn more and more.’
‘What do they make you do?’
Jan shook her head. ‘Now that’s something I
really
can’t tell you.’
‘I can understand that they might want to keep the place a secret,’ said Natalie. ‘What I don’t understand is why I haven’t heard from you since you got back.’
‘Because I’m still seeing loads of the people who were at The Haven when I was. We have parties at each other’s houses, and meet up for dinners that always turn into something rather more exciting. The trouble is, we’re not allowed to invite people who’ve never been to The Haven, which is why I haven’t been able to include you. The awful thing is, Nat, I’ve got so caught up in it that I can hardly bear to take an evening off even to see you, my best friend.’
Natalie could see that simply thinking about it was exciting Jan. Her cheeks were flushed, her eyes bright and her hand, gripping the stem of her wine glass, wasn’t quite steady. Suddenly Natalie wanted to feel like that, to have something to be excited about – and, more to the point, to have truly satisfying sex. ‘Do you think I could go there?’ she asked.
Jan frowned. ‘I honestly don’t think you’d like it. I’ve rather simplified what goes on there. The place is very strictly run and if you don’t do as you’re told, well …’ Her voice trailed off.
‘Well, what?’ demanded Natalie.
‘You get punished,’ whispered Jan.
‘Punished?’
‘Yes. But even the punishments are designed to turn you on, only in a completely different way from anything you’ve ever experienced before. I really don’t think it’s for you, Nat.’
‘I wouldn’t have thought that it was for
you.
But you seem to have enjoyed it. Surely they’d take me if you put my name forward?’
‘I suppose so, but I don’t want to.’
Natalie felt as though her friend had slapped her. ‘I think you’re being incredibly selfish,’ she said finally. ‘You’ve been there and come back a totally different person. You admit that your sex life’s now fantastic and that you’re seeing people nearly every night of the week. Do you know what
I
do when I stop work each day? I go home, drink too much wine and go to bed with only the cat for company.’
‘But if I did put you forward and then you didn’t like it once you got there, it would reflect badly on me,’ explained Jan. ‘I don’t want that to happen. I don’t want to spoil what I’ve got, and they’ll start questioning my judgement if I send the wrong person along.’
‘I honestly can’t see what can be so bad about the place,’ said Natalie. ‘I’m not some naïve eighteen-year-old. I’m twenty-seven, and I’ve had a fair bit of experience. I doubt if anything they suggest is going to shock me.’
‘Oh Natalie, you have absolutely no idea of what I’m talking about, do you?’ said Jan. ‘You’re the same as I was. You’ve always liked being in control, both at work and in bed. The older the pair of us got, the more dominating we became. That’s why we frightened all the men off, only neither of us realised it. At least, I know I didn’t – not until I went to The Haven.’
‘I accept all that,’ replied Natalie. ‘If you’re truly my friend then prove it to me by putting my name forward. I promise I won’t let you down, no matter how much of a shock I get.’ She laughed.
Jan hesitated for a few more seconds and then shrugged. ‘On your own head be it, then. The only thing is, knowing you, and knowing what it’s like there, I want you to take the two-weekend option. I don’t think you’d be able to put up with the intensive course.’